It Only Makes Me Laugh
Ok, so I am a great big dork. The desk, she was not gone, so I called some junk removal people, and I gathered a few more items of junkiness (old gross blinds, an old shower caddy, a broken vacuum cleaner) and as I was gathering, the junk guys came. They were professional and polite, and took the things from me, as I was babbling and feeling weirdly anxious, the way I always seem to feel when strangers come to my house to do things (cable guys, electricians, plumbers, it's all the same. I always feel this odd anxiety and start to babble and try to simultaneously help them do their jobs and get out of the way.) But I managed to mostly keep myself in check, and I think they didn't really notice. I paid them, said something mildly inane, and away I went to go back inside. But wait, one of the cardboard signs had blown into the roses in the front flower beds. Our beds are up about two feet up from the sidewalk, with a stone wall/barrier. I reach for the sign - and fall into my roses. Yes, there we go, we were waiting for the moment when she would do something silly, and we got it. Yay. I picked myself up with difficulty, brushed myself off, and grabbed the sign, trying to look like a woman in control. A woman in control who'd just crushed a rose bush. (It's still telling stories. "And then this giant woman just fell out of the sky!") I don't know what the damage to the bush is - I'm too embarrassed to go back out there and look. right now. I have splinters and bruised shins and a scratch on my hand. Ahem. I think I'll nurse my dignity with some chocolate. I don't even know if the junk guys saw me, because they didn't say anything, and when I looked back, the truck door was closed. But I just love that feeling of public humiliation. It's such a close friend. Wasn't Frank saying something about that? How men hate being publicly humiliated? Me, too. Unfortunately, I seem to do it to myself a lot. Remember the stairs and the cable guy? Yeah. And people don't believe me when I say I'm clumsy. Really, you just haven't seen me in action yet.