like this.
Decisions are made by people who know what to do, or at least think they know what to do; insects don't make decisions they react to their environment according to instinct. I believe everything I do is wrong, I have accepted this only because as a person I need to make these decisions to survive and it makes no difference if no matter what I try. it's going to be wrong. Now if they're of equal effort and or risk, then I rely on my arthropodic heritage.
Fake it til you make it. That's what they say when you don't know what the hell you're doing, but "do it anyways, and you'll start to believe it yourself".. well I've been faking it for sometime now, and maybe it's my rock solid foundation of reality (HA!) or my constant self truthfulness, but whatever the reason it is.. I've yet to "... make it". I've said before.. and I'll say it again.. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live.. ..like this?
I'm reminded of people who say things like ".. if I wasn't doing [insert some activity that's made them enough money to not worry about money and fame enough to be asked that question..].. then I don't know what I'd be doing". I think I'm in that alternate universe, only my thing doesn't exist, and instead we have people like Kim Kardashian and every major sports athlete getting paid way too much money and getting way to much recognition for doing things under the glamor of "special skill set" that doesn't seem to help no one but themselves.. well whatever, if my misery means millions of people's happiness over mundane things like what someone wore at some event that will be forgotten by everyone who went there 18 hours after it's over and how far someone hit a ball traveling 90 miles per hour.. then so be it. after all.. if I was doing [insert some activity that's made me enough money to not worry about money and fame enough to be asked that question..], I honestly have no idea what I do with it. So it's probably best If I just continue to scatter under the closest dark hole whenever the light comes on.
Fake it til you make it. That's what they say when you don't know what the hell you're doing, but "do it anyways, and you'll start to believe it yourself".. well I've been faking it for sometime now, and maybe it's my rock solid foundation of reality (HA!) or my constant self truthfulness, but whatever the reason it is.. I've yet to "... make it". I've said before.. and I'll say it again.. I don't want to die, but I don't want to live.. ..like this?
I'm reminded of people who say things like ".. if I wasn't doing [insert some activity that's made them enough money to not worry about money and fame enough to be asked that question..].. then I don't know what I'd be doing". I think I'm in that alternate universe, only my thing doesn't exist, and instead we have people like Kim Kardashian and every major sports athlete getting paid way too much money and getting way to much recognition for doing things under the glamor of "special skill set" that doesn't seem to help no one but themselves.. well whatever, if my misery means millions of people's happiness over mundane things like what someone wore at some event that will be forgotten by everyone who went there 18 hours after it's over and how far someone hit a ball traveling 90 miles per hour.. then so be it. after all.. if I was doing [insert some activity that's made me enough money to not worry about money and fame enough to be asked that question..], I honestly have no idea what I do with it. So it's probably best If I just continue to scatter under the closest dark hole whenever the light comes on.