happy now?
driving home from adam's i notice just how quaint this little town is.
just how sweet and comfortable i feel here. its nice to finally feel at
home somewhere. so 'home' that ive decided to stay within the vicinity
for college. and i dont mind it. i realize this town is perfect, and
was perfect, for me to grow up in. [i grew up too fast].
its hard to believe ive almost halfway overcome it. i never thought id be where i am today. four years of hell to end up here? someplace thats oftentimes confused with limbo? was it all worth it? not a chance, but i cant take back those years and obsessions. all i can say is ive ended up where i am. here. and i wont erase the journals. i wont delete the photos or burn the pages. it was and still is a major part of my life. a side of myself ive accepted. most partially.
so to say it : ive kinda sortof 'found myself'. let me thank, in part, my parents [HA. hardly]. as well as my wonderful therapist Sue, and adam.
however, for eight hours a day, im still lost. wandering the halls. eyes just stare into space. i see a friend and exchange a greeting and then retreat into my mind again. people have changed, but it isnt drastic. or maybe ive just changed. maybe theyve always been that way and its just now annoying to me. all i know is school, is a very lonely place to be. oh. and i still cant read minds [most unfortunately].
its hard to believe ive almost halfway overcome it. i never thought id be where i am today. four years of hell to end up here? someplace thats oftentimes confused with limbo? was it all worth it? not a chance, but i cant take back those years and obsessions. all i can say is ive ended up where i am. here. and i wont erase the journals. i wont delete the photos or burn the pages. it was and still is a major part of my life. a side of myself ive accepted. most partially.
so to say it : ive kinda sortof 'found myself'. let me thank, in part, my parents [HA. hardly]. as well as my wonderful therapist Sue, and adam.
however, for eight hours a day, im still lost. wandering the halls. eyes just stare into space. i see a friend and exchange a greeting and then retreat into my mind again. people have changed, but it isnt drastic. or maybe ive just changed. maybe theyve always been that way and its just now annoying to me. all i know is school, is a very lonely place to be. oh. and i still cant read minds [most unfortunately].