I FUCKIN CANT DO THIS AGAIN
ok so had a really good weekend except i found out news about my aunt and im about to go off the edge b/c im sick and tired of saying goodbye to the ones i love every year fuckin since 2002 ive had someone die each year and i dont want to do it again ...they put my aunt on kemotheropy and i asked my mom fat out if this was it and she said its the last thing that could work and if it doesnt then ..... game over ya kno i just my automatic reaction is to cry but i dunno i cant ive lost that feeling and ive lost the ability to cry i really just cannont do it i dont kno why i hate to say that im used to this feeling but i am and instead of being sad i get angry beyond believe so if i snap at all this week on anyone im really really really sry but i feel like im gonna flip out and go nuts my aunt is like a second mom to me and my cousins kyle and trav are like my brothers and they look at me liek a sister or another brother lol and i feel bad b/c i cant be there for them like i want to be b/c i live here and i cant call b/c they are never home b/c of all the stuff they do man i dunno what im gonna do i cant do this anymore its just tooo fuckin much and i dont kno how im gonna get past this without somthing bad happening and i dont want to do anything that ill regret