Merlin 3x10: I am still rejecting your canon and making it gay
LOL THIS SHOW IS TRYING TO PUSH A/G AGAIN. HAHAHAHAA, OH WRITERS, WHEN WILL YOU LEARN - THIS SHOW IS ALL ABOUT THE GAY. I SHALL PROVE IT. AND TRUST ME WHEN I SAY I AM WAY, WAY MORE CREATIVE THAN YOU.
THE SHOW OPENS ON GUINEVERE BEING INSTATED AS QUEEN OF CAMELOT - OBVIOUSLY TAKING THE POSITION BECAUSE OF ARTHUR'S NEED TO "KEEP UP APPEARANCES".
ROFL, EVEN GWEN KNOWS IT. SHE TOTES DOES NOT APPROVE OF THIS BULLSHIT OF HAVING HER AS STAND IN QUEEN WHEN EVERYONE IN THE GODDAMN WORLD KNOWS MERLIN AND ARTHUR ARE FUCKING.
SPEAKING OF MERLIN, HE AINT HAPPY ABOUT THIS EITHER.
AND ARTHUR IS TRYING TO STOP SCOWLING, BECAUSE ITS NOT LIKE ITS GWEN FAULT THAT HE IS A DUMBFUCK AND DECIDED TO SPIN THIS BULLSHIT STORY INSTEAD OF FOLLOWING HIS HEART.
MERLIN, WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES, TRIES TO SMILE FOR GWEN AS SHE IS CROWNED AND SITS UPON THE THROWN
GWEN SEES HIS PAIN THOUGH AND FEELS SO MUCH GUILT. SHE KNOWS THAT IT SHOULD BE MERLIN STANDING AT ARTHUR'S SIDE RIGHT NOW.
AT WHICH POINT MORGANA WAKES UP, BECAUSE EVEN HER DREAMS DON'T BELIEVE IN THIS WTFUCKERY.
THE CAMERA PANS TO THE PLOT HOLE HERE, BEING THE BRACELET WHICH BLOCKS THE PROPHETIC DREAMS. SO WHY ISN'T IT BLOCKING?
GWEN HEARS THE PLOT HOLE AND COMES RUNNING TO COMFORT HER MISTRESS/LOVER/FRIEND
MORGANA, TEARING UP IN GRATITUDE AT THE COMFORT, TELLS GWEN SHE NEEDS HER TO GO TO "SLEEP" IN HER BED, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
SO SHE DOES AND THE HURT/COMFORT SEX IS COCKBLOCKED BY THE FUCKING OPENING SEQUENCE. BOO, YOU WHORES BBC.
NEVERMIND, AFTER THE BREAK AND SEX WE FIND MORGANA LOOKING ~FLAWLESS AND STUNNING WHILST FOLLOWING SLIGHTLY CREEPY, BREATHY WHISPERS OF "SISSSSSSTER"
OBVIOUSLY MORGAUSE IS LURING HER FOR SEX. NGL, I THINK ITS WORKING.
SHE FINDS MORGAUSE AND AWWWW~ HOW HAPPY MORGAUSE IS TO SEE HER SISTER LOVER
MORGANA IS UPSET STILL THOUGH, AND NEEDS MORGAUSE'S COMFORTING TOUCH
IT GIVES HER THE STRENGTH TO EXPLAIN ABOUT THE DREAMS NIGHTMARES SHE IS HAVING. GWEN MARRYING ARTHUR?! WTF? *I* AM GOING TO BE QUEEN AND ARTHUR SHALL BE MY BITCH! AND WHY IS MERLIN ALLOWING ANY OF THIS ANYWAY?!
MORGAUSE IS TROUBLED AND LOOKS TO THE PLOT HOLE WITH A WAY TO FILL IT: PROPHECIES > HEALING BRACELET. SO THERE.
LOL, MORGANA'S ALL "WTF IS THE USE OF IT THEN?!" AND "FUCK THIS PROPHECY SHIT!"
IA, MORGANA. IA.
THEREFORE MORGAUSE HAS TO COME UP WITH AN EVIL SCHEME, ONE THAT WILL ENSURE MORGANA'S OWN RISE TO THE THRONE
OH MORGANA LIKES THE WAY YOU SCHEME, MORGAUSE. ;D
GWEN IS BEING A LOVELY WIFE-IN-TRAINING AND PREPARING MORGANA'S PLACE FOR HER
MORGANA FINDS THAT VERY ENDEARING AND HEART WARMING, AWW :'D
GWEN FINDS IT STRANGE THAT MORGANA IS UP SO EARLY AND ASKS IF SHE WANTS TO CHANGE. OMFGOD, THE EXPECTANT, EXCITED, HAPPY FACE SHE MAKES WHEN THINKING ABOUT BEING ABLE TO CHANGE MORGANA LAKFKJG;LDJ THE LOVE ♥
UNFORTUNATELY, MORGANA HAS ALREADY SEXED MORGAUSE THIS MORNING AND THUS HAS NO ENERGY RIGHT NOW. SHE ALSO LIKES WEARING THIS RED BECAUSE SHE KNOWS IT MAKES HER LOOK FUCKING GORGEOUS AND ENJOYS FLAUNTING IT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE
MORGANA THEN TRIES TO DISERN HOW GWEN FEELS ABOUT ARTHUR AND WHAT IS THE EXACT NATURE OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP
GWEN IS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH WHAT HER LADY, HER LOVE, IS IMPLYING.
MORGANA ASSERTS HERSELF TO REMIND GWEN THAT *SHE* IS THE ONLY ONE GWEN IS PERMITTED TO LOOK AT - WITH HAND HOLDING \O/
GWEN NODS AND ESCAPES TO HER WORK UNSURE WHY MORGANA DOUBTS HER DEVOTION
LATER, THE BIG HAPPY FAMILY ARE ALL EATING TOGETHER, WITH BOTH GWEN (MORGANA'S FUTURE WIFE) AND MERLIN (ARTHUR'S CURRENT WIFE) TENDING THEM :D
GWEN JUST ~HAPPENS~ TO BE NEAR ARTHUR AND THUS SERVES HIS WINE
BUT MORGANA IS IN A JEALOUS FUCKING RAGE RN, AND DOES NOT APPROVE AT ALL
MERLIN HOWEVER, FINDS IT ALL EXTREMELY CUTE (IS MILDLY JEALOUS THOUGH BECAUSE HE WAS NOT ABLE TO BE BESIDE ARTHUR TO FULLY APPRECIATE IT) AND GIGGLES HELPLESSLY IN LOVE WHEN ARTHUR ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKS OVER HIS GOBLET SINCE ITS NOT MERLIN'S DOING, FOR A CHANGE
LATER, ARTHUR IS THINKING ABOUT MERLIN'S GIGGLES AND IS UNABLE TO CONCENTRATE ON THESE BORING PRINCELY THINGS
SO MORGANA PROVIDES HERSELF AS A DISTRACTION
BRINGING UP THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM: ARTHUR'S DISTRACTION AT DINNER, BECAUSE MERLIN WAS IN THE ROOM.
LMFAO, ARTHUR'S "HOSHIT, CAUGHT! :O" FACE XDD
MORGANA: "A BLIND MAN COULD SEE IT ARTHUR, COME THE FUCK ON ALREADY".
ARTHUR: "... IS IT REALLY THAT OBVIOUS?"
THE ENTIRE WORLD: OMFGOD YES!!!!
MORGANA: I'M TELLING YOU BECAUSE ITS CAMELOT'S WORST KEPT SECRET. MERLIN CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU, TELLING ME HOW MUCH HE PREFERS YOU OVER ME :( DOES FOR YOU AND THAT HE WOULD DO ANYTHING TO PROTECT YOU.
ARTHUR: REALLY? *INTRIGUED* WHAT ELSE HAS HE SAID ABOUT ME?
LOL AND MORGANA IS ALL "NO CHANCE, YOU ARROGANT ARSE. MERLIN SHOWERS YOU IN FLATTERY ALL THE TIME, YOU AREN'T GETTING IT FROM ME ALSO"
THEN - WHY DO YOU NOT FOLLOW YOUR DESIRES AND PUBLICLY ANNOUNCE YOUR LOVE AND HAVE A REAL WEDDING ALREADY?
ARTHUR: BECAUSE YOU KNOW OUR MY FATHER, HE WOULD HAVE ME MARRY FOR THE GOOD OF THE KINGDOM, WHICH WOULD NEVER INVOLVE A SERVANT, LET ALONE A MAGICAL ONE. *POUTS*
MORGANA IS BITTER THAT UTHER STILL HASN'T ASKED HER TO MARRY HIM, AND SPITS "UTHER WOULDN'T KNOW LOVE EVEN IF IT FUCKED HIM STUPID EVERY NIGHT".
ARTHUR REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW THAT, CHOOSING TO FOCUS ON MORGANA'S "YOU ARE THE FUTURE, SO SET YOUR OWN RULES" ADVICE
WHICH MEANS THAT ARTHUR IS THINKING UP A PLAN TO TAKE MERLIN OUT ON A DATE - TO THE OUTER PARTS OF THE CITY WHERE THEY CAN BE ALONE (AS EVER) AND CAN REALLY TALK ABOUT THEIR FUTURE WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED.
LATER, GWEN IS MAKING MORGANA'S BED FOR "SLEEP TIME" [IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN] AND THEN COMES TO UNDRESS MORGANA
AND AFTER SEXING TIMES, MORGANA SLEEPS EASILY, KNOWING HER PLAN TO BRING DOWN GWEN IS SET IN MOTION.
MWAHAHA~~
ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN THIS PLAN.
MORGANA STOLE AWAY TO UTHER'S CHAMBERS IN THE EARLY HOURS OF THE EVENING, WHILE EVERYONE WAS FROLICKING OR DINING OR SEXING IN CORRIDORS OR SOMETHING.
AFTER LOOKING AROUND UTHER'S ROOM IN A PARTICULARLY SHIFTY MANOR, TO MAKE SURE NO ONE IS WATCHING,
SHE DEPOSITS A MAGIC POULTICE BAG - ONE FILLED WITH A SPELL THAT WILL MAKE UTHER DELUSIONAL. HE WILL ONLY SEE GWEN WHEN HE LOOKS AT MERLIN AND HEAR "GWEN" WHEN ARTHUR SAYS MERLIN'S NAME.
MORGANA SMIRKS KNOWINGLY - THIS WAY WHEN SHE HAS HIM WALK IN ON MERLIN AND ARTHUR'S PICNIC TOMORROW, UTHER IS GOING TO SEE GWEN AND PUNISH *HER* FOR EVERYTHING.
MWAHAHAHA~~
NEXT DAY, PRINCESS ARTHUR IS MAKING HIMSELF ALL PRETTY FOR HIS DATE. HE'S ALL NERVOUS AND EVERYTHING, AWW~~
MERLIN, FOR THE LOLZ, DECIDES TO SURPRISE HIM WITH ANIMAL NOISES (OMFGOD ANIMALISTIC SEX SO EARLY, MERLIN?) - WHICH STARTLES ARTHUR INTO FLAILING ABOUT FOR A SECOND IN THE MOST ADORABLE WAY POSSIBLE. THAT HE THEN TRIES TO COVER UP XDD
MERLIN JUST STANDS THERE, GIGGLING AT HIM
AND ARTHUR'S BREATH CATCHES IN HIS THROAT AND STUNS HIS BRAIN FOR A MOMENT, BECAUSE HE'S NEVER SEEN MERLIN LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL AND HAPPY IN SUCH A PERFECT SETTING
EVIL MORGANA IS WATCHING THEM VOYERISTICALLY TO MAKE SURE HER PLAN IS GOING WELL
THIS PLAN INCLUDES SEDUCING UTHER BY ENTICING HIM TO TAKE A RIDE TO THE WOODS (EVERYONE KNOWS WOODS = SEKRIT MAKEOUT/SEX PLACE. EVERYONE'S INTO IT *NOD*)
UTHER LIKES THE WAY MORGANA THINKS, SHELVING KINGLY RESPONSIBILITY IN FAVOUR OF SEXING TIMES
SO THEY HORSERIDE WHILE LOOKING ALL LOVEY-EYED AT EACH OTHER
BEFORE MORGANA GIGGLES AND TELLS UTHER SHE'LL RACE HIM TO THEIR SEX SPOT 8D
MEANWHILE, ARTHUR IS ENJOYING HIMSELF WITH MERLIN
AND THEY TALK ABOUT GETTING A FARM TOGETHER, BUT OF COURSE MERLIN WILL BE DOING ALL THE HARD WORK OMFGOD!
ARTHUR TOTES TRIED SELLING IT OFF AS THOUGH HE WAS JOKING, BUT THIS FUCKING WISTFUL LOOK HERE SHOWS THE WHOLE WORLD HOW MUCH HE WANTS TO RUN OFF WITH MERLIN AND JUST *BE* WITH HIM RIGHT NOW
OMFGOD THIS SHOW.
UNFORTUNATELY THEIR FROCKLICKING AFTER SEX CUDDLING IS INTERRUPTED BY THE ARRIVAL OF UTHER AND MORGANA ... WHO WERE ALSO HOPING TO FUCK HERE
ARTHUR IS OH SO SURPRISED LMFAO. GWEN!GIRL!MERLIN IS ALL ~ASHAMED~ AT BEING CAUGHT BY THE KING. AGAIN. XD
BACK AT THE CASTLE, ARTHUR IS STRESSING SOMETHING FIERCE. WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO SAY? HOW TO JUSTIFY IT TO HIS FATHER? WILL HE FINALLY REVEAL THAT THEY ARE MARRIED? \O/
UTHER CHOOSES THAT MOMENT TO COME IN ... AND PROMPTLY LAUGHS RIGHT IN ARTHUR'S FACE
OMFGOD ANTHONY, MY LOVE FOR YOU IN HIS MOMENT KNOWS NO BOUNDS
LMFAO ARTHUR IS SO CONFUSED BY HIS FATHER'S JUBILANCE RIGHT NOW XDD
UTHER IS ALL "I WAS YOUNG ONCE, I KNOW ABOUT THE TEMPTATIONS OF SERVING BOYS GIRLS"
ARTHUR'S MIND IS VIOLATED WITH THAT IMAGE AND THEN GOT SIDETRACKED BY THE THOUGHT OF GETTING MERLIN TO WALK AROUND IN MAID'S CLOTHES HMMMMMM...
BUT SADLY UTHER BURSTS THAT BUBBLE OF HAPPINESS AND SAYS "NO MORE, THAT'S FINAL, YOU CAN'T SEE HER AGAIN"
ARTHUR IS LIKE "WTF? NO! AND HOW DID YOU KNOW MERLIN'S MY WIFE? \O/"
ARTHUR: I WON'T DENY MY FEELINGS. I LOVE MERLIN. MARRYING HIM IS FOR THE GOOD OF THE KINGDOM!
UTHER: THEN YOU LEAVE ME WITH NO CHOICE. SHE IS BANISHED FROM THE KINGDOM
ARTHUR: *INSTANT HEARTBREAK* OH GOD NO
UTHER: CLEARLY YOU CANNOT CONTROL YOURSELF. SHE MUST LEAVE THE CITY
ARTHUR: *CRYING ON THE INSIDE OUTSIDE* BUT. I LOVE HIM. I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM ;-;
ARTHUR IMMEDIATELY GOES TO MERLIN TO TELL HIM WHAT UTHER SAID (SQUEE, ALREADY IN HIS ROOM, WAITING FOR HIM!)
MERLIN IS IN A PARTICULARLY PISSED OFF MOOD AND SASSYPANTS HIS FINGER UP IN THERE. NO HE FUCKING DID NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THEIR ROMANTIC DATE, YOU DICK, ARTHUR!
ARTHUR SASSYFACES RIGHT BACK BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY SOMEONE TOLD HIM BECAUSE THEY SHOULD HAVE HAD THE WOODS ALL TO THEMSELVES
THEN ARTHUR YELLS ABOUT HOW BAD MERLIN IS AT KEEPING SEKRITS AND MERLIN TRIES TO DENY IT, SAYING HE CAN KEEP SEKRITS. ARTHUR SIDE-EYES HIM SO HARD, ALMOST SPELLING OUT "I KNOW ABOUT YOUR MAGIC, FOOL. THAT SHIT IS NO SEKRIT SECRET"
MERLIN IS QUITE THROWN BY THAT AND IT MELLOWS HIM TO TALK ABOUT THE BIG QUESTION. WHAT HAPPENS NOW?
ARTHUR: *LOOKS DEVASTATED* I DON'T KNOW I CAN'T IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT YOU, TRYING NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT
RIGHT ABOUT WHEN THEY ARE ABOUT TO RUN, HUG AND CRY ALL OVER EACH OTHER IN A CHICK FLICK MOMENT, MORGANA ENTERS TO COMFORT ARTHUR'S BROKEN HEART
ARTHUR HAS MERLIN LEAVE SO HE CAN SPEAK WITH HIS SISTER. HE DOESN'T WANT TO CRY IN FRONT OF MERLIN, AWW.
MERLIN AND MORGANA ARE SHARING ONE HELL OF A HATE-GLARE HERE
LOOK CLEARLY SAYS ANGRY SEX TO FOLLOW LATER
MORGANA THEN DOES HER LOVING SISTERLY/LOVER DUTIES AND ASKS WHAT ARTHUR WILL DO.
ARTHUR GETS THIS RESOLVED LOOK IN HIS EYES. OH YES, HE HAS DECIDED
ARTHUR: "I AM GOING TO LEAVE CAMELOT TO BE WITH MERLIN. AND WHEN WE RETURN, IT WILL BE WITH MERLIN AT MY SIDE."
MORGANA IS SLIGHTLY SHOCKED BY THE DEDICATION/LOVE/RESOLVE ARTHUR HAS WHEN MAKING THIS DECLARATION. SHE TRIES TO SHOW HIM HER FAKE!HAPPY FACE, BUT SHE DOES NOT WANT TO LOSE HER HATE!SEX PARTNER AND HER LOVING BROTHER
EVERYONE IS CONFUSED ABOUT WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE EXILED, SINCE MERLIN THINKS HE HAS TO LEAVE EVEN THOUGH UTHER KEEPS SAYING "DNW THAT GWEN GIRL". THEREFORE, TIME FOR MORGANA TO MOVE INTO PHASE TWO AND BRING MORE COMPELLING EVIDENCE AGAINST GWEN.
STAGE 1: MOVE THE POULTICE BAG TO ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS
STAGE 2: SELL UTHER BY MENTIONING "MAGIC" AS FOLLOWS:
MORGANA ENTERS BEAUTIFULLY IN BEAUTIFUL BACKGROUND LIGHT
UTHER ALWAYS LOVES TO SEE HER (ESPECIALLY IN THAT BEAUTIFUL GOWN OMG \O/)
MORGANA NOTES UTHER'S TROUBLED EXPRESSION AND UTHER SAYS HE JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND ARTHUR, FALLING FOR A GIRL
MORGANA PUTS ON HER BEST SKEPTIC FACE AND SAYS "HE'S NEVER MENTIONED IT TO ME - AND YOU KNOW HOW HE TELLS ME EVERYTHING - SO I THINK THERE IS SOMETHING MORE HERE"
UTHER: *INTRIGUED* "IF YOU HAVE SUSPICIONS, PLEASE SPEAK YOUR MIND"
MORGANA: IT'S SO SUDDEN. IT'S ALMOST AS IF...
HE'S BEEN ENCHANTED.
UTHER: :O
SO UTHER HAS ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS SEARCHED. LOL ARTHUR'S DISDAIN VOICE&FACE AT "DO YOU REALLY THINK I'D HAVE A GIRL HIDING IN THERE?"
BAD NEWS FOR GWEN, THEY FIND MORGANA'S PLANTED FAKE LOVE POULTICE
LOL ARTHUR'S "WHAT THE FLYING FUCK" FACE
UTHER IS SNEAKY AND DOESN'T MENTION HIS SUSPICIONS, JUST ASKS HIS BOYFRIEND/GAIUS ABOUT THE LOVE POULTICE. GAIUS PRETTY MUCH CONFIRMS THAT YES, ITS ALL VERY MAGICAL
UTHER'S FACE SAYS IT ALL - GWEN IS SO DEAD. FIND HER.
GAIUS SEES MORGANA SMIRKING OFF IN A CORNER AND SEES WHAT YOU DID THAR MORGANA. ENTER DISAPPROVAL FROWN
ARTHUR IS SEKRITLY PACKING TO LEAVE WITH MERLIN IN HIS BANISHMENT
WHEN MERLIN RUSHES IN TO TELL HIM "GWEN HAS BEEN ARRESTED FOR USING MAGIC >:O WTF"
GWEN IS BEING ACCUSED AND SHOWN HER SUPPOSED MAGICAL POULTICE
THAT SHE HAS NEVER SEEN, BUT UTHER OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T BELIEVE HER
UTHER IS A CONDESCENDING DICK ABOUT HER BEING A SERVANT, AND IN HER BAMF WAY, GWEN BASICALLY TELLS UTHER TO FUCK OFF. SERVANTS > YOU, UTHER AND MERLIN WILL MAKE ARTHUR VERY HAPPY.
UTHER SLAPS HER FOR HER TROUBLES LOL
NGL, MY PERVERTED BRAIN WAS THINKING SOME NON-CON BLOW JOB ACTION DURING THIS SCENE. I DARE YOU NOT TO THINK IT.
BUT THEN HERO ARTHUR RUSHES IN AND IS ALL "WTF IS THIS FUCKERY, GWEN WOULD NEVER USE MAGIC, THAT'S ABSUUUUURD!"
UTHER PRESENTS HIS EVIDENCE
AND THEN MAKES A VERY COMPELLING BIASED CASE, I HAVE TO ADMIT. GWEN'S FATHER WAS KNOWN FOR 'CONSORTING WITH SORCERERS'. MERLIN&ARTHUR: HOSHIT
GWEN: MY FATHER WAS A GOOD MAN AND YOU KILLED HIM, ASSHOLE!
UTHER: SO YOU WOULD TAKE REVENGE BY ENCHANTING MY SON?! (SME: HO HO HO! BUUUUUUURN, GWEN. JUST BURN)
GAIUS CHOOSES TO PIPE UP RIGHT NOW AND SAY HOW RIDICULOUS THIS ALL IS - GWEN SHOULD HAVE A FAIR TRIAL
UTHER: I HAVE ALL THE EVIDENCE I NEED!! RAWR
ARTHUR: THAT'S RIDICULOUS, YOU HAVE NO PROOF!
UTHER: I AM THE KING. DECISION IS FINAL. SHE WILL BURN.
ARTHUR: YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!! IT IS WRONG
ARTHUR: PLEASE, DON'T HURT HER. SHE IS A GOOD SERVANT. I LIKE HER, SHE'S MY FRIEND.
UTHER: SEE, MY SON WOULD NEVER SAY THAT. HE DOES NOT MAKE FRIENDS WITH SERVANTS.
\O/ OH SHIT ARTHUR, YOU REALLY DROPPED HER IN IT.
I THINK ARTHUR JUST REALISED THAT TOO
AND HE REALISED HE JUST SIGNED HER DEATH WARRANT
UTHER, IN HIS CRAZY, MESSED UP WAY, IS ALL "WHEN SHE DIES, YOU WILL SEE THAT I WAS RIGHT AND WAS ONLY TRYING TO PROTECT YOU"
SO THEY TAKE GWEN AWAY
ARTHUR NEEDS RESTRAINING BECAUSE HE IS SO NOT DOWN WITH THIS INJUSTICE
MORGANA IS MOST ENJOYING THE WHOLE THING. HER PLAN IS GOING SWIMMINGLY. GWEN IS GOING TO DIE AND WILL NEVER GET TO ENJOY QUEENHOOD (UNLIKE MORGANA, OBVIOUSLY).
NEXT DAY, EXTRAS ARE BUILDING GWEN'S BURNING PYRE.
MERLIN COMES TO ARTHUR AND SAYS THAT THEY HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO SMUGGLE GWEN OUT OF CAMELOT. IT'S HIS GAY BFF FOR GOD'S SAKE, THEY HAVE TO SAVE HER!
BUT ARTHUR SAYS THERE IS NOTHING HE CAN DO. HE IS UNDER CONSTANT GUARD AND THERE ARE SOLDIERS ALL OVER THE SQUARE. NOT POSSIBLE FOR HIM :(
SO MERLIN GOES TO VISIT HIS BFF, BEARING FOOD
HE TELLS HER THAT THEY ARE GOING TO FIND A WAY OUT OF THIS
GWEN, EVER THE REALIST, SAYS "KEEP DREAMING, UTHER IS NEVER GOING TO CHANGE HIS MIND"
MERLIN THEN GETS SUPER SRS, SAYING THAT THEY HAVE TO FIND THE *REAL* CULPRIT THEN, THE ONE THAT REALLY PLANTED THE POULTICE
GWEN MUST GET SLIGHTLY DISTRACTED BY MERLIN'S RIDIC HOTNESS RIGHT NOW. DON'T BLAME HER.
NEVERTHELESS, MERLIN IS RELENTLESSLY HOT ASKING GWEN IF SHE HAPPENS TO KNOW OF *ANYONE* IT MIGHT BE. GWEN THINKS SHE DOES KNOW. MORGANA!
MERLIN'S WORST SUSPICIONS ARE CONFIRMED. IT'S ALL ABOUT MORGANA.
FROM WHAT GWEN SAYS, MERLIN FIGURES IT PROBABLY WASN'T A COINCIDENCE THAT UTHER FOUND HIM AND ARTHUR IN THE WOODS EITHER ... ESPECIALLY SINCE UTHER THOUGHT THAT ARTHUR WAS WITH GWEN. \O/ IT'S ALL MAKING SENSE NOW.
MERLIN GOES TO GAIUS TO TELL HIM: MORGANA IS STEPPING UP HER EVIL MAGICNESS
GAIUS SAYS THE OBVIOUS: UTHER IS SO IN LOVE WITH MORGANA SHE CAN DO NO WRONG.
LOL MERLIN'S "PERHAPS ... ARTHUR'LL TALK HIM.. ROUND?" XDD LOL SO UNCONVINCED AT HIS OWN WORDS
EVER WISE GAIUS SAYS THE OBVIOUS: ANYTHING ARTHUR DOES IS GOING TO STRENGTHEN UTHER'S BELIEF THAT ARTHUR IS ENCHANTED.
MERLIN THINKS HE'S GETTING A BRAINWAVE: WE MUST INVENT A SORCERER TO GET CAUGHT THEN
LMFAOOOOO HE'S SO PROUD OF HIS IDEA, LOOK HOW HE GESTURES ETC ETC 8DD
GAIUS: WHO'S GOING TO BE STUPID ENOUGH TO TAKE THE BLAME FOR THE CRIME?
MERLIN: *BG* ME!
A;LKFGJALD MERLIN YOU ARE THE CUTEST THING EVER. EVEN WHEN YOU HAVE THE DUMBEST IDEAS, SOMEHOW YOU MANAGE TO MAKE THEM AWESOME WITH YOUR EARS + SMILE. OMFGOD I DON'T EVEN.
MERLIN IS ALL EXCITE, GRABBING HIS BOOKS TO DO ~MAGIC~
HE EVEN EXPLAINS IT TO GAIUS: I'LL DISGUISE MYSELF, PRETEND TO BE THE SORCERER AND THEN CHANGE BACK AFTER AND THEY'LL THINK THE SORCERER HAS JUST VANISHED
GAIUS IS EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY DUBIOUS OF YOUR 'BRILLIANCE' RIGHT NOW MERLIN XD
"BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT THE DISGUISE, I FEAR ARTHUR WILL RECOGNISE YOU"
OMFGOD~!
MERLIN'S ENTHUSIASM IS NOT TO BE DAMPENED. "NOT IF I'M EIGHTY YEARS OLD" LMFAO HIS FACE, HIS VOICE, SO ADORABLE.
GAIUS: \0/! AN AGING SPELL! THOSE ARE DIFFICULT! IF IT DOESN'T HOLD, YOU WILL BE EXPOSED!
MELRIN: IF I DON'T DO SOMETHING, MY BFF IS GOING TO DIE.
ALSO, PLEASE MAKE AN IDENTICAL POULTICE WHILE I DO MY MAGICS. AND PLAY WITH FAIRY DUST.
MERLIN GETS SRS BSNS WITH THE BIG MIXING BOWL AND INGREDIENTS AND MAGICAL ... WORDS.
THE ~FIRE IN HIS EYES~
TURNS INTO FOR REALS FIRE IN THE HOUSE \O/
GAIUS HAS A CHICK FLICK "STOP EVERYTHING TO STARE AS THE HOT GIRL NEW MERLIN ENTERS THE ROOM" MOMENT
MERLIN IS AN ELDERLY WIZARD! :O!
GAIUS REALLY DOES HAVE TROUBLE RECOGNISING HIM EXCEPT FOR HIS EYES
MERLIN I CAN'T BELIEVE ONE DAY I'LL LOOK LIKE THIS"
"I. ACHE."
ROFLMFAO
OMG SO COLIN'S DELIVERY OF THAT LINE. DED FROM LULZ.
GAIUS HANDS OFF THE FAKE!MAGIC!POULTICE TO OLD!MERLIN
AND MERLIN GOES OFF TO FAKE!PLANT THE FAKE!POULTICE IN ARTHUR'S SEX!BED AND GENERALLY CAUSE A LOT OF MISCHIEF
LOL HE RUNS INTO ARTHUR STRAIGHT AWAY (I SWEAR THOSE TWO ARE ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER LIKE MAGNETS)
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS FACE IS. OLD!MERLIN, YOU JUST WIN
HE SNEAKS PAST IN A COMPLETELY OBVIOUS WAY THAT MAKES ARTHUR NOTICE HIM STANDARD FOR MERLIN, YA KNOW
ARTHUR IS INTRIGUED BY THIS SHIFTY CHARACTER
MERLIN ENTERS ARTHUR'S ROOM AND HEADS STRAIGHT FOR THE BED. LMFAO, YOU KNOW, HIS USUAL PLACE OF
"MISCHIEF"
ARTHUR IS OUTSIDE READYING HIS PHALLIC PEEN PHALLIC SWORD AT THE READY
MERLIN PULLS OUT THE POULTICE, READY TO GET CAUGHT ;)
OLD!MERLIN MAKES SOME SEX NOISES, BECAUSE THAT'S THE BEST WAY TO GET ARTHUR'S ATTENTION
AND ARTHUR POKES HIM. WITH HIS SWORD.
MERLIN IS EXCITED
BUT IN KEEPING WITH THIS ROLE PLAY, HE TURNS AROUND AND SHOUTS AT ARTHUR - HIS NAME IS "DRAGUUUUN. THE GREAT." LMFAAAAAAAAAAAO
OLD!MERLIN: YOU HAVE CAUGHT ME. RED HANDED. I MUST BE GUILTY. AS GUILT. GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY.
GUESS YOU'LL HAVE TO LET THE INNOCENT ONE GO
ARTHUR: I SHOULD RUN YOU THROUGH RIGHT HERE (LOL, HIS SUBCONCIOUS IS INFLUENCING THIS PHRASING, I SWEAR)
OLD!MERLIN: HOSHIT.... I REALLY. WOULDN'T. DO. THAT. I HAZ SEKRIT PLAN.
ARTHUR: ??? WHAT SEKRIT?
OLD!MERLIN: EXACTLY!!!
ARTHUR: ... HAVE WE MET?
AUDIENCE: *SQUEE* ARTHUR KNOWS HIS ITS ONE TRUE LOVE EVEN THROUGH THE DISGUISE~!! 8DD
OLD!MERLIN: NO. I NEVER FORGET A FACE
ARTHUR: NO, SURE WE HAVE. AND I FEEL ODDLY ATTRACTED TO YOU RIGHT NOW
OLD!MERLIN: HEY, NO!
ARTHUR: ??? I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE BEING LIKE THIS *WIBBLE*
OLD!MERLIN: MAGIC SOLVES ALL PROBLEMS. LET ME DEMONSTRATE.
HELMET: *COLLIDES WITH ARTHUR'S HEAD*
ARTHUR: UUUGHH
*BELATED* GAUUUUUURDS!
MERLIN RUNS AWAY AND ATTEMPTS TO MAGIC HIMSELF BACK TO NORMAL
HE IS QUITE HORRIFIED WHEN IT DOESN'T WORK (NGL, I WOULD BE TOO. BUT MERLIN IS VAIN AND IN LOVE WITH THE PRETTY BOY, SO HE'S DOUBLEY AGHAST)
MERLIN'S RESPONSE - RUUUUUUUUUN AWAY!
ARTHUR GOES RUNNING AFTER MERLIN (LOL, NORMAL DAY IN CAMELOT)
AND USES HIS THROWING KNIFE TO CATCH MERLIN
MERLIN: THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY TIME I DIDN'T WANT TO GET CAUGHT PLAYING NAKED HIDE AND SEEK >_>;
*SHOT IS INCLUDED TO SHOWCASE COLIN MORGAN'S FINE FUCKING FINGER!PORN*
OLD!MERLIN IS BROUGHT BEFORE UTHER AND THE COUNCIL
AND MERLIN ADMITS TO PLANTING THE POULTICE (LOL MORGANA IS NOW CONFUSED AS FUCK)
UTHER: WHAT DID YOU HOPE TO ACHIEVE WITH THIS. I WOULD LIKE TO THINK ABOUT YOUR FAILURE AS I WATCH YOU BUUUURN MWAHAHA
OLD!MERLIN GETS HIS BAMF ON AND FUCKING GOES TO TOWN ON UTHER.
YOU ARE BLINDED BY YOUR HATRED OF MAGIC.
YOU'VE WRONGED SO MANY INNOCENT PEOPLE.
YOU ARE STUPID. ARROGANT. OLD TYRANT!
EVERYONE: WHOA, HEY NOW.
UTHER: I FEEL ... ODDLY AROUSED RIGHT NOW
ARTHUR: *BELATEDLY* HOLD YOUR TONGUE. OR I WILL HOLD IT FOR YOU. WITH MY TONGUE
OLD!MERLIN: OH, DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON YOU
ARTHUR: *SHOCK* *SADFACE* WHAT DID I DO?
OLD!MERLIN: YOU MISTREAT YOUR SERVANTS! AKA, ME!
ARTHUR: ??? *CONFUSED*
OLD!MERLIN: *BEGINS RANT* SERVANT DOES EVERYTHING, BUT I HE NEVER GET ANY THANKS. YOU'RE A SPOILED ARROGANT BRAT WITH THE BRAINS OF A DONKEY! AND THE FACE OF A TOAD
(CURTSY OF jetsetlag FROM jaeutiful)
SME: *JIZZES IN PANTS* FUUUUUUUUUUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAH~~~~~~~ MERLIN!
ARTHUR: *SHOCK* MY LOINS FIND YOUR EYES AND BITCHFACE ODDLY AROUSING. SURE DOES REMIND ME OF SOMEONE...
UTHER: NOTAROUSEDNOTAROUSED SERVANT GIRL - SOMETHING?
OLD!MERLIN: PHHTT, WHAT'S A GIRL. NO CHANCE.
UTHER: *MUMBLES* RELEASE THE GIRL. MY BAD.
UTHER: FOR SHAMING ME, YOU SHALL TAKE HER PLACE INMYPANTS ON THE PYRE!
GUARDS: *DRAG MERLIN AWAY*
MORGANA WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT "THAT MAN" BECAUSE SHE TOO IS AROUSED AND DOESN'T QUITE KNOW WHY
THROUGH THE WINDOW IN MERLN'S CELL
HE CAN SEE HIS IMPENDING DOOM/DEATH D:
WHILE ARTHUR IS LOOKING FOR MERLIN
GAIUS SAYS MERLIN IS SPENDING THE DAY IN THE TARVERN LMFAO LOLOLOL ROFL!!!!!
ARTHUR: OOOHH, DID HE NOW??
ARTHUR'S SASSYPANTS: WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT!
LMFAO, ARTHUR SO WANTS TO HAVE HAPPY, VICTORY SEX RIGHT NOW. HE'S SO DISAPPOINT THAT MERLIN'S LOCKED IN A CELL UNAVAILABLE.
GAIUS GOES TO VISIT MERLIN, SAYING "HE MUST TRY TO UNDO THE SPELL AGAIN"
MERLIN: CAN'T. ALREADY TRIED :'( THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY! D':
GAIUS: WAIT A MINUTE, SHERLOCK. I THINK I'M REMEMBERING SOMETHING CONVENIENT TO GET YOU OUT OF HERE. BUY AS MUCH TIME AS YOU CAN. HOWEVER YOU CAN.
GAIUS GOES AWAY TO TOIL IN HIS ROOM THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT, BOILING POTION AFTER POTION
ROFL, USING THIS DIAGRAM AS A YE OLDE PH INDICATOR XD
UNFORTAUNTELY, THE NEW DAY HAS DAWNED IN MERLIN'S CELL
MERLIN ATTEMPTS TO DELAY. ARTHUR ALSO ATTEMPTS BECAUSE HE LIKES THE OLD MAN LISTENS TO THE PLOT
MERLIN WISHES TO CONFESS TO OTHER CRIMES. ROFL, AND THAT CREEPY SMILE
ARTHUR DNW THAT SMILE. ALSO, HE BRINGS LOGIC - CAN'T EXECUTE MERLIN TWICE
MERLIN: RUSHMFUSHM. SINCE WHEN DID YOU USE LOGIC?
BUT WAIT! GAIUS MAY HAVE HAD...
SUCCESS!
ARTHUR IS LEADING MERLIN DOWN THE AISLE TO THE PYRE
MERLIN IS FRANTICALLY LOOKING FOR GAIUS WHEN THEY STOP FOR UTHER'S SPIEL
UTHER: *SPIELS*
GAIUS MAKES THE OBVIOUS EVEN MORE OBVIOUS
SO MERLIN MAKES A BREAK FOR IT - AKA YELLS AT GAIUS AS A COVER-UP (OBVIOUSLY UTHER IS OFFENDED/SCARED THAT MERLIN CHOSE GAIUS)
IN THE KERFUFFLE HE SNEAKS AWAY WITH THE POTION
AND YELLS ABOUT HAVING HIS REVENGE, DAMMIT! >:(
ARTHUR COMFORTS ASKS GAIUS IF HE'S ALRIGHT (HE IS)
THEN MERLIN FINALLY DOES THE THING THAT WILL OBVIOUSLY GET HIM OUT OF DEATH: MAGICS
AND THE PYRE GOES UP IN FLAME (LOL, WHY DID NO ONE ELSE DO THIS??)
ARTHUR AND GAIUS ARE ALL WHOA *FALL OVER* LOL
AS IS UTHER, LOL. FAAAAKE
AND MERLIN RUNS OFF
... BACK INTO THE CASTLE? *SIGH*
HE GETS TRAPPED IN A CORNER BUT DOWNS THE POTION
WHILE TENSION IS BUILDING THROUGH THE SOUNDTRACK AND ARTHUR COMING DOWN THE AISLE
ONLY TO RUN INTO YOUNG!MERLIN, ACTING AS IF HE IS DRUNK AS HELL XDD
ARTHUR: WHERE'S THE SORCERER?
BECAUSE YOU ARE HOT IN BLUE, I WILL IGNORE WHATEVER YOU ARE HIDING BEHIND YOUR BACK
MERLIN: HE WENT THAT WAY.
YEP. THROUGH THE WALL. (XDD)
ARTHUR: *TSK* DID YOU LET HIM ESCAPE??
MERLIN: *MAKES FACES AND TONGUE*
ERM. I MEAN, YES. "HE WAS TOO FAST FOR ME" LMFAO XDD
ARTHUR: YOU ARE LUCKY I LOVE YOU. HE'S A DODDERY OLD MAN, I KNOW YOU ARE NIMBLE - YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE!
MERLIN: EH? STOP SHOUTING AND HAVE SEX WITH ME ALREADY. I'M EXTREMELY RANDY RIGHT NOW
ARTHUR: EXCELLENT IDEA. GET YOURSELF TO MY CHAMBERS. I HAVE TO PUNISH YOU. YOU'VE BEEN A VERY NAUGHTY BOY
MERLIN: OOOH, I WONDER WHAT HE'LL PUNISH ME WITH THIS TIME?
HEE! ^__^
ELSEWHERE, MORGANA AND GWEN SMILE AT EACH OTHER AND MAKE UP SEX IN A MISTRUSTING WAY
AND AFTER SEX, MERLIN SAUNTERS/FLOATS INTO GAIUS' CHAMBERS WONDERING WHY ARTHUR THOUGHT HE WAS AT THE TAVERN NOT THAT HE MINDS PUNISHMENT
GAIUS DENIES ALL AND JUST GIVES THE EYEBROW OF COMPLETE INNOCENCE
XDD THIS EPISODE WAS ACTUALLY KINDA AWESOME, IF YOU IGNORE THE HET!FAIL. SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO GET UP, IT WAS TOO BUSY SCREWING MY SLASH GOGGLES.
THE SHOW OPENS ON GUINEVERE BEING INSTATED AS QUEEN OF CAMELOT - OBVIOUSLY TAKING THE POSITION BECAUSE OF ARTHUR'S NEED TO "KEEP UP APPEARANCES".
ROFL, EVEN GWEN KNOWS IT. SHE TOTES DOES NOT APPROVE OF THIS BULLSHIT OF HAVING HER AS STAND IN QUEEN WHEN EVERYONE IN THE GODDAMN WORLD KNOWS MERLIN AND ARTHUR ARE FUCKING.
SPEAKING OF MERLIN, HE AINT HAPPY ABOUT THIS EITHER.
AND ARTHUR IS TRYING TO STOP SCOWLING, BECAUSE ITS NOT LIKE ITS GWEN FAULT THAT HE IS A DUMBFUCK AND DECIDED TO SPIN THIS BULLSHIT STORY INSTEAD OF FOLLOWING HIS HEART.
MERLIN, WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES, TRIES TO SMILE FOR GWEN AS SHE IS CROWNED AND SITS UPON THE THROWN
GWEN SEES HIS PAIN THOUGH AND FEELS SO MUCH GUILT. SHE KNOWS THAT IT SHOULD BE MERLIN STANDING AT ARTHUR'S SIDE RIGHT NOW.
AT WHICH POINT MORGANA WAKES UP, BECAUSE EVEN HER DREAMS DON'T BELIEVE IN THIS WTFUCKERY.
THE CAMERA PANS TO THE PLOT HOLE HERE, BEING THE BRACELET WHICH BLOCKS THE PROPHETIC DREAMS. SO WHY ISN'T IT BLOCKING?
GWEN HEARS THE PLOT HOLE AND COMES RUNNING TO COMFORT HER MISTRESS/LOVER/FRIEND
MORGANA, TEARING UP IN GRATITUDE AT THE COMFORT, TELLS GWEN SHE NEEDS HER TO GO TO "SLEEP" IN HER BED, IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
SO SHE DOES AND THE HURT/COMFORT SEX IS COCKBLOCKED BY THE FUCKING OPENING SEQUENCE. BOO, YOU WHORES BBC.
NEVERMIND, AFTER THE BREAK AND SEX WE FIND MORGANA LOOKING ~FLAWLESS AND STUNNING WHILST FOLLOWING SLIGHTLY CREEPY, BREATHY WHISPERS OF "SISSSSSSTER"
OBVIOUSLY MORGAUSE IS LURING HER FOR SEX. NGL, I THINK ITS WORKING.
SHE FINDS MORGAUSE AND AWWWW~ HOW HAPPY MORGAUSE IS TO SEE HER SISTER LOVER
MORGANA IS UPSET STILL THOUGH, AND NEEDS MORGAUSE'S COMFORTING TOUCH
IT GIVES HER THE STRENGTH TO EXPLAIN ABOUT THE DREAMS NIGHTMARES SHE IS HAVING. GWEN MARRYING ARTHUR?! WTF? *I* AM GOING TO BE QUEEN AND ARTHUR SHALL BE MY BITCH! AND WHY IS MERLIN ALLOWING ANY OF THIS ANYWAY?!
MORGAUSE IS TROUBLED AND LOOKS TO THE PLOT HOLE WITH A WAY TO FILL IT: PROPHECIES > HEALING BRACELET. SO THERE.
LOL, MORGANA'S ALL "WTF IS THE USE OF IT THEN?!" AND "FUCK THIS PROPHECY SHIT!"
IA, MORGANA. IA.
THEREFORE MORGAUSE HAS TO COME UP WITH AN EVIL SCHEME, ONE THAT WILL ENSURE MORGANA'S OWN RISE TO THE THRONE
OH MORGANA LIKES THE WAY YOU SCHEME, MORGAUSE. ;D
GWEN IS BEING A LOVELY WIFE-IN-TRAINING AND PREPARING MORGANA'S PLACE FOR HER
MORGANA FINDS THAT VERY ENDEARING AND HEART WARMING, AWW :'D
GWEN FINDS IT STRANGE THAT MORGANA IS UP SO EARLY AND ASKS IF SHE WANTS TO CHANGE. OMFGOD, THE EXPECTANT, EXCITED, HAPPY FACE SHE MAKES WHEN THINKING ABOUT BEING ABLE TO CHANGE MORGANA LAKFKJG;LDJ THE LOVE ♥
UNFORTUNATELY, MORGANA HAS ALREADY SEXED MORGAUSE THIS MORNING AND THUS HAS NO ENERGY RIGHT NOW. SHE ALSO LIKES WEARING THIS RED BECAUSE SHE KNOWS IT MAKES HER LOOK FUCKING GORGEOUS AND ENJOYS FLAUNTING IT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE
MORGANA THEN TRIES TO DISERN HOW GWEN FEELS ABOUT ARTHUR AND WHAT IS THE EXACT NATURE OF THEIR RELATIONSHIP
GWEN IS UNCOMFORTABLE WITH WHAT HER LADY, HER LOVE, IS IMPLYING.
MORGANA ASSERTS HERSELF TO REMIND GWEN THAT *SHE* IS THE ONLY ONE GWEN IS PERMITTED TO LOOK AT - WITH HAND HOLDING \O/
GWEN NODS AND ESCAPES TO HER WORK UNSURE WHY MORGANA DOUBTS HER DEVOTION
LATER, THE BIG HAPPY FAMILY ARE ALL EATING TOGETHER, WITH BOTH GWEN (MORGANA'S FUTURE WIFE) AND MERLIN (ARTHUR'S CURRENT WIFE) TENDING THEM :D
GWEN JUST ~HAPPENS~ TO BE NEAR ARTHUR AND THUS SERVES HIS WINE
BUT MORGANA IS IN A JEALOUS FUCKING RAGE RN, AND DOES NOT APPROVE AT ALL
MERLIN HOWEVER, FINDS IT ALL EXTREMELY CUTE (IS MILDLY JEALOUS THOUGH BECAUSE HE WAS NOT ABLE TO BE BESIDE ARTHUR TO FULLY APPRECIATE IT) AND GIGGLES HELPLESSLY IN LOVE WHEN ARTHUR ACCIDENTALLY KNOCKS OVER HIS GOBLET SINCE ITS NOT MERLIN'S DOING, FOR A CHANGE
LATER, ARTHUR IS THINKING ABOUT MERLIN'S GIGGLES AND IS UNABLE TO CONCENTRATE ON THESE BORING PRINCELY THINGS
SO MORGANA PROVIDES HERSELF AS A DISTRACTION
BRINGING UP THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM: ARTHUR'S DISTRACTION AT DINNER, BECAUSE MERLIN WAS IN THE ROOM.
LMFAO, ARTHUR'S "HOSHIT, CAUGHT! :O" FACE XDD
MORGANA: "A BLIND MAN COULD SEE IT ARTHUR, COME THE FUCK ON ALREADY".
ARTHUR: "... IS IT REALLY THAT OBVIOUS?"
THE ENTIRE WORLD: OMFGOD YES!!!!
MORGANA: I'M TELLING YOU BECAUSE ITS CAMELOT'S WORST KEPT SECRET. MERLIN CAN NEVER STOP TALKING ABOUT YOU, TELLING ME HOW MUCH HE PREFERS YOU OVER ME :( DOES FOR YOU AND THAT HE WOULD DO ANYTHING TO PROTECT YOU.
ARTHUR: REALLY? *INTRIGUED* WHAT ELSE HAS HE SAID ABOUT ME?
LOL AND MORGANA IS ALL "NO CHANCE, YOU ARROGANT ARSE. MERLIN SHOWERS YOU IN FLATTERY ALL THE TIME, YOU AREN'T GETTING IT FROM ME ALSO"
THEN - WHY DO YOU NOT FOLLOW YOUR DESIRES AND PUBLICLY ANNOUNCE YOUR LOVE AND HAVE A REAL WEDDING ALREADY?
ARTHUR: BECAUSE YOU KNOW OUR MY FATHER, HE WOULD HAVE ME MARRY FOR THE GOOD OF THE KINGDOM, WHICH WOULD NEVER INVOLVE A SERVANT, LET ALONE A MAGICAL ONE. *POUTS*
MORGANA IS BITTER THAT UTHER STILL HASN'T ASKED HER TO MARRY HIM, AND SPITS "UTHER WOULDN'T KNOW LOVE EVEN IF IT FUCKED HIM STUPID EVERY NIGHT".
ARTHUR REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW THAT, CHOOSING TO FOCUS ON MORGANA'S "YOU ARE THE FUTURE, SO SET YOUR OWN RULES" ADVICE
WHICH MEANS THAT ARTHUR IS THINKING UP A PLAN TO TAKE MERLIN OUT ON A DATE - TO THE OUTER PARTS OF THE CITY WHERE THEY CAN BE ALONE (AS EVER) AND CAN REALLY TALK ABOUT THEIR FUTURE WITHOUT BEING INTERRUPTED.
LATER, GWEN IS MAKING MORGANA'S BED FOR "SLEEP TIME" [IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN] AND THEN COMES TO UNDRESS MORGANA
AND AFTER SEXING TIMES, MORGANA SLEEPS EASILY, KNOWING HER PLAN TO BRING DOWN GWEN IS SET IN MOTION.
MWAHAHA~~
ALLOW ME TO EXPLAIN THIS PLAN.
MORGANA STOLE AWAY TO UTHER'S CHAMBERS IN THE EARLY HOURS OF THE EVENING, WHILE EVERYONE WAS FROLICKING OR DINING OR SEXING IN CORRIDORS OR SOMETHING.
AFTER LOOKING AROUND UTHER'S ROOM IN A PARTICULARLY SHIFTY MANOR, TO MAKE SURE NO ONE IS WATCHING,
SHE DEPOSITS A MAGIC POULTICE BAG - ONE FILLED WITH A SPELL THAT WILL MAKE UTHER DELUSIONAL. HE WILL ONLY SEE GWEN WHEN HE LOOKS AT MERLIN AND HEAR "GWEN" WHEN ARTHUR SAYS MERLIN'S NAME.
MORGANA SMIRKS KNOWINGLY - THIS WAY WHEN SHE HAS HIM WALK IN ON MERLIN AND ARTHUR'S PICNIC TOMORROW, UTHER IS GOING TO SEE GWEN AND PUNISH *HER* FOR EVERYTHING.
MWAHAHAHA~~
NEXT DAY, PRINCESS ARTHUR IS MAKING HIMSELF ALL PRETTY FOR HIS DATE. HE'S ALL NERVOUS AND EVERYTHING, AWW~~
MERLIN, FOR THE LOLZ, DECIDES TO SURPRISE HIM WITH ANIMAL NOISES (OMFGOD ANIMALISTIC SEX SO EARLY, MERLIN?) - WHICH STARTLES ARTHUR INTO FLAILING ABOUT FOR A SECOND IN THE MOST ADORABLE WAY POSSIBLE. THAT HE THEN TRIES TO COVER UP XDD
MERLIN JUST STANDS THERE, GIGGLING AT HIM
AND ARTHUR'S BREATH CATCHES IN HIS THROAT AND STUNS HIS BRAIN FOR A MOMENT, BECAUSE HE'S NEVER SEEN MERLIN LOOK SO BEAUTIFUL AND HAPPY IN SUCH A PERFECT SETTING
EVIL MORGANA IS WATCHING THEM VOYERISTICALLY TO MAKE SURE HER PLAN IS GOING WELL
THIS PLAN INCLUDES SEDUCING UTHER BY ENTICING HIM TO TAKE A RIDE TO THE WOODS (EVERYONE KNOWS WOODS = SEKRIT MAKEOUT/SEX PLACE. EVERYONE'S INTO IT *NOD*)
UTHER LIKES THE WAY MORGANA THINKS, SHELVING KINGLY RESPONSIBILITY IN FAVOUR OF SEXING TIMES
SO THEY HORSERIDE WHILE LOOKING ALL LOVEY-EYED AT EACH OTHER
BEFORE MORGANA GIGGLES AND TELLS UTHER SHE'LL RACE HIM TO THEIR SEX SPOT 8D
MEANWHILE, ARTHUR IS ENJOYING HIMSELF WITH MERLIN
AND THEY TALK ABOUT GETTING A FARM TOGETHER, BUT OF COURSE MERLIN WILL BE DOING ALL THE HARD WORK OMFGOD!
ARTHUR TOTES TRIED SELLING IT OFF AS THOUGH HE WAS JOKING, BUT THIS FUCKING WISTFUL LOOK HERE SHOWS THE WHOLE WORLD HOW MUCH HE WANTS TO RUN OFF WITH MERLIN AND JUST *BE* WITH HIM RIGHT NOW
OMFGOD THIS SHOW.
UNFORTUNATELY THEIR FROCKLICKING AFTER SEX CUDDLING IS INTERRUPTED BY THE ARRIVAL OF UTHER AND MORGANA ... WHO WERE ALSO HOPING TO FUCK HERE
ARTHUR IS OH SO SURPRISED LMFAO. GWEN!GIRL!MERLIN IS ALL ~ASHAMED~ AT BEING CAUGHT BY THE KING. AGAIN. XD
BACK AT THE CASTLE, ARTHUR IS STRESSING SOMETHING FIERCE. WHAT TO DO, WHAT TO SAY? HOW TO JUSTIFY IT TO HIS FATHER? WILL HE FINALLY REVEAL THAT THEY ARE MARRIED? \O/
UTHER CHOOSES THAT MOMENT TO COME IN ... AND PROMPTLY LAUGHS RIGHT IN ARTHUR'S FACE
OMFGOD ANTHONY, MY LOVE FOR YOU IN HIS MOMENT KNOWS NO BOUNDS
LMFAO ARTHUR IS SO CONFUSED BY HIS FATHER'S JUBILANCE RIGHT NOW XDD
UTHER IS ALL "I WAS YOUNG ONCE, I KNOW ABOUT THE TEMPTATIONS OF SERVING BOYS GIRLS"
ARTHUR'S MIND IS VIOLATED WITH THAT IMAGE AND THEN GOT SIDETRACKED BY THE THOUGHT OF GETTING MERLIN TO WALK AROUND IN MAID'S CLOTHES HMMMMMM...
BUT SADLY UTHER BURSTS THAT BUBBLE OF HAPPINESS AND SAYS "NO MORE, THAT'S FINAL, YOU CAN'T SEE HER AGAIN"
ARTHUR IS LIKE "WTF? NO! AND HOW DID YOU KNOW MERLIN'S MY WIFE? \O/"
ARTHUR: I WON'T DENY MY FEELINGS. I LOVE MERLIN. MARRYING HIM IS FOR THE GOOD OF THE KINGDOM!
UTHER: THEN YOU LEAVE ME WITH NO CHOICE. SHE IS BANISHED FROM THE KINGDOM
ARTHUR: *INSTANT HEARTBREAK* OH GOD NO
UTHER: CLEARLY YOU CANNOT CONTROL YOURSELF. SHE MUST LEAVE THE CITY
ARTHUR: *CRYING ON THE INSIDE OUTSIDE* BUT. I LOVE HIM. I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT HIM ;-;
ARTHUR IMMEDIATELY GOES TO MERLIN TO TELL HIM WHAT UTHER SAID (SQUEE, ALREADY IN HIS ROOM, WAITING FOR HIM!)
MERLIN IS IN A PARTICULARLY PISSED OFF MOOD AND SASSYPANTS HIS FINGER UP IN THERE. NO HE FUCKING DID NOT TELL ANYONE ABOUT THEIR ROMANTIC DATE, YOU DICK, ARTHUR!
ARTHUR SASSYFACES RIGHT BACK BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY SOMEONE TOLD HIM BECAUSE THEY SHOULD HAVE HAD THE WOODS ALL TO THEMSELVES
THEN ARTHUR YELLS ABOUT HOW BAD MERLIN IS AT KEEPING SEKRITS AND MERLIN TRIES TO DENY IT, SAYING HE CAN KEEP SEKRITS. ARTHUR SIDE-EYES HIM SO HARD, ALMOST SPELLING OUT "I KNOW ABOUT YOUR MAGIC, FOOL. THAT SHIT IS NO SEKRIT SECRET"
MERLIN IS QUITE THROWN BY THAT AND IT MELLOWS HIM TO TALK ABOUT THE BIG QUESTION. WHAT HAPPENS NOW?
ARTHUR: *LOOKS DEVASTATED* I DON'T KNOW I CAN'T IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT YOU, TRYING NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT
RIGHT ABOUT WHEN THEY ARE ABOUT TO RUN, HUG AND CRY ALL OVER EACH OTHER IN A CHICK FLICK MOMENT, MORGANA ENTERS TO COMFORT ARTHUR'S BROKEN HEART
ARTHUR HAS MERLIN LEAVE SO HE CAN SPEAK WITH HIS SISTER. HE DOESN'T WANT TO CRY IN FRONT OF MERLIN, AWW.
MERLIN AND MORGANA ARE SHARING ONE HELL OF A HATE-GLARE HERE
LOOK CLEARLY SAYS ANGRY SEX TO FOLLOW LATER
MORGANA THEN DOES HER LOVING SISTERLY/LOVER DUTIES AND ASKS WHAT ARTHUR WILL DO.
ARTHUR GETS THIS RESOLVED LOOK IN HIS EYES. OH YES, HE HAS DECIDED
ARTHUR: "I AM GOING TO LEAVE CAMELOT TO BE WITH MERLIN. AND WHEN WE RETURN, IT WILL BE WITH MERLIN AT MY SIDE."
MORGANA IS SLIGHTLY SHOCKED BY THE DEDICATION/LOVE/RESOLVE ARTHUR HAS WHEN MAKING THIS DECLARATION. SHE TRIES TO SHOW HIM HER FAKE!HAPPY FACE, BUT SHE DOES NOT WANT TO LOSE HER HATE!SEX PARTNER AND HER LOVING BROTHER
EVERYONE IS CONFUSED ABOUT WHO IS SUPPOSED TO BE EXILED, SINCE MERLIN THINKS HE HAS TO LEAVE EVEN THOUGH UTHER KEEPS SAYING "DNW THAT GWEN GIRL". THEREFORE, TIME FOR MORGANA TO MOVE INTO PHASE TWO AND BRING MORE COMPELLING EVIDENCE AGAINST GWEN.
STAGE 1: MOVE THE POULTICE BAG TO ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS
STAGE 2: SELL UTHER BY MENTIONING "MAGIC" AS FOLLOWS:
MORGANA ENTERS BEAUTIFULLY IN BEAUTIFUL BACKGROUND LIGHT
UTHER ALWAYS LOVES TO SEE HER (ESPECIALLY IN THAT BEAUTIFUL GOWN OMG \O/)
MORGANA NOTES UTHER'S TROUBLED EXPRESSION AND UTHER SAYS HE JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND ARTHUR, FALLING FOR A GIRL
MORGANA PUTS ON HER BEST SKEPTIC FACE AND SAYS "HE'S NEVER MENTIONED IT TO ME - AND YOU KNOW HOW HE TELLS ME EVERYTHING - SO I THINK THERE IS SOMETHING MORE HERE"
UTHER: *INTRIGUED* "IF YOU HAVE SUSPICIONS, PLEASE SPEAK YOUR MIND"
MORGANA: IT'S SO SUDDEN. IT'S ALMOST AS IF...
HE'S BEEN ENCHANTED.
UTHER: :O
SO UTHER HAS ARTHUR'S CHAMBERS SEARCHED. LOL ARTHUR'S DISDAIN VOICE&FACE AT "DO YOU REALLY THINK I'D HAVE A GIRL HIDING IN THERE?"
BAD NEWS FOR GWEN, THEY FIND MORGANA'S PLANTED FAKE LOVE POULTICE
LOL ARTHUR'S "WHAT THE FLYING FUCK" FACE
UTHER IS SNEAKY AND DOESN'T MENTION HIS SUSPICIONS, JUST ASKS HIS BOYFRIEND/GAIUS ABOUT THE LOVE POULTICE. GAIUS PRETTY MUCH CONFIRMS THAT YES, ITS ALL VERY MAGICAL
UTHER'S FACE SAYS IT ALL - GWEN IS SO DEAD. FIND HER.
GAIUS SEES MORGANA SMIRKING OFF IN A CORNER AND SEES WHAT YOU DID THAR MORGANA. ENTER DISAPPROVAL FROWN
ARTHUR IS SEKRITLY PACKING TO LEAVE WITH MERLIN IN HIS BANISHMENT
WHEN MERLIN RUSHES IN TO TELL HIM "GWEN HAS BEEN ARRESTED FOR USING MAGIC >:O WTF"
GWEN IS BEING ACCUSED AND SHOWN HER SUPPOSED MAGICAL POULTICE
THAT SHE HAS NEVER SEEN, BUT UTHER OBVIOUSLY DOESN'T BELIEVE HER
UTHER IS A CONDESCENDING DICK ABOUT HER BEING A SERVANT, AND IN HER BAMF WAY, GWEN BASICALLY TELLS UTHER TO FUCK OFF. SERVANTS > YOU, UTHER AND MERLIN WILL MAKE ARTHUR VERY HAPPY.
UTHER SLAPS HER FOR HER TROUBLES LOL
NGL, MY PERVERTED BRAIN WAS THINKING SOME NON-CON BLOW JOB ACTION DURING THIS SCENE. I DARE YOU NOT TO THINK IT.
BUT THEN HERO ARTHUR RUSHES IN AND IS ALL "WTF IS THIS FUCKERY, GWEN WOULD NEVER USE MAGIC, THAT'S ABSUUUUURD!"
UTHER PRESENTS HIS EVIDENCE
AND THEN MAKES A VERY COMPELLING BIASED CASE, I HAVE TO ADMIT. GWEN'S FATHER WAS KNOWN FOR 'CONSORTING WITH SORCERERS'. MERLIN&ARTHUR: HOSHIT
GWEN: MY FATHER WAS A GOOD MAN AND YOU KILLED HIM, ASSHOLE!
UTHER: SO YOU WOULD TAKE REVENGE BY ENCHANTING MY SON?! (SME: HO HO HO! BUUUUUUURN, GWEN. JUST BURN)
GAIUS CHOOSES TO PIPE UP RIGHT NOW AND SAY HOW RIDICULOUS THIS ALL IS - GWEN SHOULD HAVE A FAIR TRIAL
UTHER: I HAVE ALL THE EVIDENCE I NEED!! RAWR
ARTHUR: THAT'S RIDICULOUS, YOU HAVE NO PROOF!
UTHER: I AM THE KING. DECISION IS FINAL. SHE WILL BURN.
ARTHUR: YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!! IT IS WRONG
ARTHUR: PLEASE, DON'T HURT HER. SHE IS A GOOD SERVANT. I LIKE HER, SHE'S MY FRIEND.
UTHER: SEE, MY SON WOULD NEVER SAY THAT. HE DOES NOT MAKE FRIENDS WITH SERVANTS.
\O/ OH SHIT ARTHUR, YOU REALLY DROPPED HER IN IT.
I THINK ARTHUR JUST REALISED THAT TOO
AND HE REALISED HE JUST SIGNED HER DEATH WARRANT
UTHER, IN HIS CRAZY, MESSED UP WAY, IS ALL "WHEN SHE DIES, YOU WILL SEE THAT I WAS RIGHT AND WAS ONLY TRYING TO PROTECT YOU"
SO THEY TAKE GWEN AWAY
ARTHUR NEEDS RESTRAINING BECAUSE HE IS SO NOT DOWN WITH THIS INJUSTICE
MORGANA IS MOST ENJOYING THE WHOLE THING. HER PLAN IS GOING SWIMMINGLY. GWEN IS GOING TO DIE AND WILL NEVER GET TO ENJOY QUEENHOOD (UNLIKE MORGANA, OBVIOUSLY).
NEXT DAY, EXTRAS ARE BUILDING GWEN'S BURNING PYRE.
MERLIN COMES TO ARTHUR AND SAYS THAT THEY HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO SMUGGLE GWEN OUT OF CAMELOT. IT'S HIS GAY BFF FOR GOD'S SAKE, THEY HAVE TO SAVE HER!
BUT ARTHUR SAYS THERE IS NOTHING HE CAN DO. HE IS UNDER CONSTANT GUARD AND THERE ARE SOLDIERS ALL OVER THE SQUARE. NOT POSSIBLE FOR HIM :(
SO MERLIN GOES TO VISIT HIS BFF, BEARING FOOD
HE TELLS HER THAT THEY ARE GOING TO FIND A WAY OUT OF THIS
GWEN, EVER THE REALIST, SAYS "KEEP DREAMING, UTHER IS NEVER GOING TO CHANGE HIS MIND"
MERLIN THEN GETS SUPER SRS, SAYING THAT THEY HAVE TO FIND THE *REAL* CULPRIT THEN, THE ONE THAT REALLY PLANTED THE POULTICE
GWEN MUST GET SLIGHTLY DISTRACTED BY MERLIN'S RIDIC HOTNESS RIGHT NOW. DON'T BLAME HER.
NEVERTHELESS, MERLIN IS RELENTLESSLY HOT ASKING GWEN IF SHE HAPPENS TO KNOW OF *ANYONE* IT MIGHT BE. GWEN THINKS SHE DOES KNOW. MORGANA!
MERLIN'S WORST SUSPICIONS ARE CONFIRMED. IT'S ALL ABOUT MORGANA.
FROM WHAT GWEN SAYS, MERLIN FIGURES IT PROBABLY WASN'T A COINCIDENCE THAT UTHER FOUND HIM AND ARTHUR IN THE WOODS EITHER ... ESPECIALLY SINCE UTHER THOUGHT THAT ARTHUR WAS WITH GWEN. \O/ IT'S ALL MAKING SENSE NOW.
MERLIN GOES TO GAIUS TO TELL HIM: MORGANA IS STEPPING UP HER EVIL MAGICNESS
GAIUS SAYS THE OBVIOUS: UTHER IS SO IN LOVE WITH MORGANA SHE CAN DO NO WRONG.
LOL MERLIN'S "PERHAPS ... ARTHUR'LL TALK HIM.. ROUND?" XDD LOL SO UNCONVINCED AT HIS OWN WORDS
EVER WISE GAIUS SAYS THE OBVIOUS: ANYTHING ARTHUR DOES IS GOING TO STRENGTHEN UTHER'S BELIEF THAT ARTHUR IS ENCHANTED.
MERLIN THINKS HE'S GETTING A BRAINWAVE: WE MUST INVENT A SORCERER TO GET CAUGHT THEN
LMFAOOOOO HE'S SO PROUD OF HIS IDEA, LOOK HOW HE GESTURES ETC ETC 8DD
GAIUS: WHO'S GOING TO BE STUPID ENOUGH TO TAKE THE BLAME FOR THE CRIME?
MERLIN: *BG* ME!
A;LKFGJALD MERLIN YOU ARE THE CUTEST THING EVER. EVEN WHEN YOU HAVE THE DUMBEST IDEAS, SOMEHOW YOU MANAGE TO MAKE THEM AWESOME WITH YOUR EARS + SMILE. OMFGOD I DON'T EVEN.
MERLIN IS ALL EXCITE, GRABBING HIS BOOKS TO DO ~MAGIC~
HE EVEN EXPLAINS IT TO GAIUS: I'LL DISGUISE MYSELF, PRETEND TO BE THE SORCERER AND THEN CHANGE BACK AFTER AND THEY'LL THINK THE SORCERER HAS JUST VANISHED
GAIUS IS EXTREMELY, EXTREMELY DUBIOUS OF YOUR 'BRILLIANCE' RIGHT NOW MERLIN XD
"BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT THE DISGUISE, I FEAR ARTHUR WILL RECOGNISE YOU"
OMFGOD~!
MERLIN'S ENTHUSIASM IS NOT TO BE DAMPENED. "NOT IF I'M EIGHTY YEARS OLD" LMFAO HIS FACE, HIS VOICE, SO ADORABLE.
GAIUS: \0/! AN AGING SPELL! THOSE ARE DIFFICULT! IF IT DOESN'T HOLD, YOU WILL BE EXPOSED!
MELRIN: IF I DON'T DO SOMETHING, MY BFF IS GOING TO DIE.
ALSO, PLEASE MAKE AN IDENTICAL POULTICE WHILE I DO MY MAGICS. AND PLAY WITH FAIRY DUST.
MERLIN GETS SRS BSNS WITH THE BIG MIXING BOWL AND INGREDIENTS AND MAGICAL ... WORDS.
THE ~FIRE IN HIS EYES~
TURNS INTO FOR REALS FIRE IN THE HOUSE \O/
GAIUS HAS A CHICK FLICK "STOP EVERYTHING TO STARE AS THE HOT GIRL NEW MERLIN ENTERS THE ROOM" MOMENT
MERLIN IS AN ELDERLY WIZARD! :O!
GAIUS REALLY DOES HAVE TROUBLE RECOGNISING HIM EXCEPT FOR HIS EYES
MERLIN I CAN'T BELIEVE ONE DAY I'LL LOOK LIKE THIS"
"I. ACHE."
ROFLMFAO
OMG SO COLIN'S DELIVERY OF THAT LINE. DED FROM LULZ.
GAIUS HANDS OFF THE FAKE!MAGIC!POULTICE TO OLD!MERLIN
AND MERLIN GOES OFF TO FAKE!PLANT THE FAKE!POULTICE IN ARTHUR'S SEX!BED AND GENERALLY CAUSE A LOT OF MISCHIEF
LOL HE RUNS INTO ARTHUR STRAIGHT AWAY (I SWEAR THOSE TWO ARE ATTRACTED TO EACH OTHER LIKE MAGNETS)
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THIS FACE IS. OLD!MERLIN, YOU JUST WIN
HE SNEAKS PAST IN A COMPLETELY OBVIOUS WAY THAT MAKES ARTHUR NOTICE HIM STANDARD FOR MERLIN, YA KNOW
ARTHUR IS INTRIGUED BY THIS SHIFTY CHARACTER
MERLIN ENTERS ARTHUR'S ROOM AND HEADS STRAIGHT FOR THE BED. LMFAO, YOU KNOW, HIS USUAL PLACE OF
"MISCHIEF"
ARTHUR IS OUTSIDE READYING HIS PHALLIC PEEN PHALLIC SWORD AT THE READY
MERLIN PULLS OUT THE POULTICE, READY TO GET CAUGHT ;)
OLD!MERLIN MAKES SOME SEX NOISES, BECAUSE THAT'S THE BEST WAY TO GET ARTHUR'S ATTENTION
AND ARTHUR POKES HIM. WITH HIS SWORD.
MERLIN IS EXCITED
BUT IN KEEPING WITH THIS ROLE PLAY, HE TURNS AROUND AND SHOUTS AT ARTHUR - HIS NAME IS "DRAGUUUUN. THE GREAT." LMFAAAAAAAAAAAO
OLD!MERLIN: YOU HAVE CAUGHT ME. RED HANDED. I MUST BE GUILTY. AS GUILT. GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY.
GUESS YOU'LL HAVE TO LET THE INNOCENT ONE GO
ARTHUR: I SHOULD RUN YOU THROUGH RIGHT HERE (LOL, HIS SUBCONCIOUS IS INFLUENCING THIS PHRASING, I SWEAR)
OLD!MERLIN: HOSHIT.... I REALLY. WOULDN'T. DO. THAT. I HAZ SEKRIT PLAN.
ARTHUR: ??? WHAT SEKRIT?
OLD!MERLIN: EXACTLY!!!
ARTHUR: ... HAVE WE MET?
AUDIENCE: *SQUEE* ARTHUR KNOWS HIS ITS ONE TRUE LOVE EVEN THROUGH THE DISGUISE~!! 8DD
OLD!MERLIN: NO. I NEVER FORGET A FACE
ARTHUR: NO, SURE WE HAVE. AND I FEEL ODDLY ATTRACTED TO YOU RIGHT NOW
OLD!MERLIN: HEY, NO!
ARTHUR: ??? I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE BEING LIKE THIS *WIBBLE*
OLD!MERLIN: MAGIC SOLVES ALL PROBLEMS. LET ME DEMONSTRATE.
HELMET: *COLLIDES WITH ARTHUR'S HEAD*
ARTHUR: UUUGHH
*BELATED* GAUUUUUURDS!
MERLIN RUNS AWAY AND ATTEMPTS TO MAGIC HIMSELF BACK TO NORMAL
HE IS QUITE HORRIFIED WHEN IT DOESN'T WORK (NGL, I WOULD BE TOO. BUT MERLIN IS VAIN AND IN LOVE WITH THE PRETTY BOY, SO HE'S DOUBLEY AGHAST)
MERLIN'S RESPONSE - RUUUUUUUUUN AWAY!
ARTHUR GOES RUNNING AFTER MERLIN (LOL, NORMAL DAY IN CAMELOT)
AND USES HIS THROWING KNIFE TO CATCH MERLIN
MERLIN: THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY TIME I DIDN'T WANT TO GET CAUGHT PLAYING NAKED HIDE AND SEEK >_>;
*SHOT IS INCLUDED TO SHOWCASE COLIN MORGAN'S FINE FUCKING FINGER!PORN*
OLD!MERLIN IS BROUGHT BEFORE UTHER AND THE COUNCIL
AND MERLIN ADMITS TO PLANTING THE POULTICE (LOL MORGANA IS NOW CONFUSED AS FUCK)
UTHER: WHAT DID YOU HOPE TO ACHIEVE WITH THIS. I WOULD LIKE TO THINK ABOUT YOUR FAILURE AS I WATCH YOU BUUUURN MWAHAHA
OLD!MERLIN GETS HIS BAMF ON AND FUCKING GOES TO TOWN ON UTHER.
YOU ARE BLINDED BY YOUR HATRED OF MAGIC.
YOU'VE WRONGED SO MANY INNOCENT PEOPLE.
YOU ARE STUPID. ARROGANT. OLD TYRANT!
EVERYONE: WHOA, HEY NOW.
UTHER: I FEEL ... ODDLY AROUSED RIGHT NOW
ARTHUR: *BELATEDLY* HOLD YOUR TONGUE. OR I WILL HOLD IT FOR YOU. WITH MY TONGUE
OLD!MERLIN: OH, DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON YOU
ARTHUR: *SHOCK* *SADFACE* WHAT DID I DO?
OLD!MERLIN: YOU MISTREAT YOUR SERVANTS! AKA, ME!
ARTHUR: ??? *CONFUSED*
OLD!MERLIN: *BEGINS RANT* SERVANT DOES EVERYTHING, BUT I HE NEVER GET ANY THANKS. YOU'RE A SPOILED ARROGANT BRAT WITH THE BRAINS OF A DONKEY! AND THE FACE OF A TOAD
(CURTSY OF jetsetlag FROM jaeutiful)
SME: *JIZZES IN PANTS* FUUUUUUUUUUCK YEAAAAAAAAAAAH~~~~~~~ MERLIN!
ARTHUR: *SHOCK* MY LOINS FIND YOUR EYES AND BITCHFACE ODDLY AROUSING. SURE DOES REMIND ME OF SOMEONE...
UTHER: NOTAROUSEDNOTAROUSED SERVANT GIRL - SOMETHING?
OLD!MERLIN: PHHTT, WHAT'S A GIRL. NO CHANCE.
UTHER: *MUMBLES* RELEASE THE GIRL. MY BAD.
UTHER: FOR SHAMING ME, YOU SHALL TAKE HER PLACE INMYPANTS ON THE PYRE!
GUARDS: *DRAG MERLIN AWAY*
MORGANA WANTS TO KNOW ABOUT "THAT MAN" BECAUSE SHE TOO IS AROUSED AND DOESN'T QUITE KNOW WHY
THROUGH THE WINDOW IN MERLN'S CELL
HE CAN SEE HIS IMPENDING DOOM/DEATH D:
WHILE ARTHUR IS LOOKING FOR MERLIN
GAIUS SAYS MERLIN IS SPENDING THE DAY IN THE TARVERN LMFAO LOLOLOL ROFL!!!!!
ARTHUR: OOOHH, DID HE NOW??
ARTHUR'S SASSYPANTS: WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT!
LMFAO, ARTHUR SO WANTS TO HAVE HAPPY, VICTORY SEX RIGHT NOW. HE'S SO DISAPPOINT THAT MERLIN'S LOCKED IN A CELL UNAVAILABLE.
GAIUS GOES TO VISIT MERLIN, SAYING "HE MUST TRY TO UNDO THE SPELL AGAIN"
MERLIN: CAN'T. ALREADY TRIED :'( THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY! D':
GAIUS: WAIT A MINUTE, SHERLOCK. I THINK I'M REMEMBERING SOMETHING CONVENIENT TO GET YOU OUT OF HERE. BUY AS MUCH TIME AS YOU CAN. HOWEVER YOU CAN.
GAIUS GOES AWAY TO TOIL IN HIS ROOM THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT, BOILING POTION AFTER POTION
ROFL, USING THIS DIAGRAM AS A YE OLDE PH INDICATOR XD
UNFORTAUNTELY, THE NEW DAY HAS DAWNED IN MERLIN'S CELL
MERLIN ATTEMPTS TO DELAY. ARTHUR ALSO ATTEMPTS BECAUSE HE LIKES THE OLD MAN LISTENS TO THE PLOT
MERLIN WISHES TO CONFESS TO OTHER CRIMES. ROFL, AND THAT CREEPY SMILE
ARTHUR DNW THAT SMILE. ALSO, HE BRINGS LOGIC - CAN'T EXECUTE MERLIN TWICE
MERLIN: RUSHMFUSHM. SINCE WHEN DID YOU USE LOGIC?
BUT WAIT! GAIUS MAY HAVE HAD...
SUCCESS!
ARTHUR IS LEADING MERLIN DOWN THE AISLE TO THE PYRE
MERLIN IS FRANTICALLY LOOKING FOR GAIUS WHEN THEY STOP FOR UTHER'S SPIEL
UTHER: *SPIELS*
GAIUS MAKES THE OBVIOUS EVEN MORE OBVIOUS
SO MERLIN MAKES A BREAK FOR IT - AKA YELLS AT GAIUS AS A COVER-UP (OBVIOUSLY UTHER IS OFFENDED/SCARED THAT MERLIN CHOSE GAIUS)
IN THE KERFUFFLE HE SNEAKS AWAY WITH THE POTION
AND YELLS ABOUT HAVING HIS REVENGE, DAMMIT! >:(
ARTHUR COMFORTS ASKS GAIUS IF HE'S ALRIGHT (HE IS)
THEN MERLIN FINALLY DOES THE THING THAT WILL OBVIOUSLY GET HIM OUT OF DEATH: MAGICS
AND THE PYRE GOES UP IN FLAME (LOL, WHY DID NO ONE ELSE DO THIS??)
ARTHUR AND GAIUS ARE ALL WHOA *FALL OVER* LOL
AS IS UTHER, LOL. FAAAAKE
AND MERLIN RUNS OFF
... BACK INTO THE CASTLE? *SIGH*
HE GETS TRAPPED IN A CORNER BUT DOWNS THE POTION
WHILE TENSION IS BUILDING THROUGH THE SOUNDTRACK AND ARTHUR COMING DOWN THE AISLE
ONLY TO RUN INTO YOUNG!MERLIN, ACTING AS IF HE IS DRUNK AS HELL XDD
ARTHUR: WHERE'S THE SORCERER?
BECAUSE YOU ARE HOT IN BLUE, I WILL IGNORE WHATEVER YOU ARE HIDING BEHIND YOUR BACK
MERLIN: HE WENT THAT WAY.
YEP. THROUGH THE WALL. (XDD)
ARTHUR: *TSK* DID YOU LET HIM ESCAPE??
MERLIN: *MAKES FACES AND TONGUE*
ERM. I MEAN, YES. "HE WAS TOO FAST FOR ME" LMFAO XDD
ARTHUR: YOU ARE LUCKY I LOVE YOU. HE'S A DODDERY OLD MAN, I KNOW YOU ARE NIMBLE - YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE!
MERLIN: EH? STOP SHOUTING AND HAVE SEX WITH ME ALREADY. I'M EXTREMELY RANDY RIGHT NOW
ARTHUR: EXCELLENT IDEA. GET YOURSELF TO MY CHAMBERS. I HAVE TO PUNISH YOU. YOU'VE BEEN A VERY NAUGHTY BOY
MERLIN: OOOH, I WONDER WHAT HE'LL PUNISH ME WITH THIS TIME?
HEE! ^__^
ELSEWHERE, MORGANA AND GWEN SMILE AT EACH OTHER AND MAKE UP SEX IN A MISTRUSTING WAY
AND AFTER SEX, MERLIN SAUNTERS/FLOATS INTO GAIUS' CHAMBERS WONDERING WHY ARTHUR THOUGHT HE WAS AT THE TAVERN NOT THAT HE MINDS PUNISHMENT
GAIUS DENIES ALL AND JUST GIVES THE EYEBROW OF COMPLETE INNOCENCE
XDD THIS EPISODE WAS ACTUALLY KINDA AWESOME, IF YOU IGNORE THE HET!FAIL. SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO GET UP, IT WAS TOO BUSY SCREWING MY SLASH GOGGLES.