Merlin 3x07: Brought to you by the sustainable aid of Wizard Rock :D
My apologies for this being so late. Sad but true fact - travelling and studying at the same time will result in a lack of time for anything else. >_>;
THIS EPISODE OPENS UP IN A PRETTY FANTASTIC WAY. AND BY THAT I MEAN WITH FEMMSLASH. :D YAYAY!
MORGANA IS "SLEEPING" (AKA RESTING) AFTER A RAUNCHY AND DIRTY TUMBLE IN THE SACK WITH GWEN
WHILE GWEN TUCKS HER INTO BED AND THEN MAKES TO LEAVE. SINCE ITS FORBID FOR SERVANTS TO STAY OVERNIGHT, OR SOMETHING. :(
ONCE SHE GETS HOME HOWEVER, THIS RATHER UNFORTUNATELY LOOKING FACE HAS CREEPED IN TO NAB HER
OBVIOUSLY GWEN IS QUITE SCARED, BUT GETS HER BADASS ON AND PICKS UP THE MOTHERFUCKING FIREPOKER TO DEFEND HERSELF AND BEAT HIS ARSE.
WHICH WOULD HAVE WORKED REALLY WELL, IF SOMEONE HADN'T SNEAKED UP BEHIND HER AND DRUGGED HER DEAD.
THEY TIE HER UP ON THEIR HORSE (OMG BRAIN, DON'T EVEN GO THERE) AND CARRY ~HER OFF INTO THE NIGHT~ :O
WHILST MORGANA JUST STANDS BY SMIRKING \O/
CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING - KINKY ORGIES IN THE FOREST, Y/Y?
WITH GWEN, MORGANA, MORGAUSE AND CENDRID ALL PRESENT, OBVIOUSLY
OH BOYS, THERE COULD BE NO BETTER WAY TO RETURN FROM THE CREDITS. ARTHUR IS CLEARLY NAKED IN BED, GETTING HIS BEAUTY SLEEP, AND MERLIN (BLAST THOSE CHEERY MORNING PEOPLE) IS ALREADY UP AND DRESSED, AWAKENING HIS LOVER WITH BRIGHT SMILES AND SUNSHINE.
YEP, IT'S AS GAY AS THAT DESCRIPTION WAS.
ARTHUR IS NOT AMUSED, BECAUSE HE IS NOT A MORNING PERSON. NOR DOES HE LIKE BEING WOKEN BY THE SAME WORDS EACH DAY (LOL, NOTE HOW ARTHUR NEVER SAYS HE DOESN'T LIKE SEEING MERLIN'S FACE IN THE MORNING ~LOLOL~ TOTES THE BEST THING TO WAKE UP TO, Y/Y?)
LOL, MERLIN. HE'S ALL "WHAT? ... WHAT DID I SAY THAT DISPLEASES YOU, MY MAJESTY, MY LOVE, MY GROUCHY PRINCESS IN THE MORNINGS?"
ARTHUR IS JUST ALL "ARGH, INSTEAD OF SAYING THE SAME THING EVERY MORNING, A BLOW JOB WOULD BE MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE"
LOL HIS MANBOOBAGE TRYING TO BE ENTICING. XDD
SO MERLIN STARTS TALKING ABOUT "SHAKING LEGS" AND MY. FUCKING. GOD. THIS SHOW, I CAN'T EVEN.
SO FUCKING ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT IT TOO XDDD
HE EVEN CAUGHT ARTHUR'S ATTENTION. XDDDDDDD
HANDS ON HIPS = SEX BRIBERY IN THE MAKING, Y/Y?
LOL, I THINK MERLIN IS CONFUSED BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKED. XDD OH BOYS, YOU HAVE THAT MORNING SEX BEFORE BREAKFAST 8DD
GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~H OF COURSE MERLIN IS THE ONLY ONE SERVING THE ROYAL'S BREAKFAST INSTEAD OF SLEEPING WITH ALL OF THEM, FOR A CHANGE
THERE IS EVEN MORGANA/MERLIN INTERACTION WHEN SHE ~REJECTS HIS OFFER OF WINE~
AND I CANNOT HELP BUT UNF AT MERLIN'S CHIDED FACE. A;LKFGJADFL;LKJA;KDJ
LMFAO, I LOVE UTHER SO MUCH IN THIS SCENE. HE'S ALL "WELL IF GWEN IS A HUSSY UNRELIABLE MAID, WE CAN GET YOU A NEW ONE. A BETTER ONE. XDDD
ARTHUR, IN KEEPING WITH TODAY'S THEME OF "TOUCH THE MANSERVANT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE FOR NO REASON" GRABS A HOLD OF MERLIN AND DOESN'T WANT TO LET HIM GO. EVEN IF IT IS TO DO A GOOD DEED, SUCH AS LOOKING OUT FOR A FRIEND.
MERLIN ARRIVES TO FIND IT EMPTY.
HE MAKES SURE TO BE "THOROUGH" IN LOOKING AROUND FOR GWEN. SINCE, YOU KNOW, SHE WOULD JUST BE LYING ON THE FLOOR IN HER ONE-ROOMED HOUSE
BUT OH! WHAT IS THIS - MERLIN HAS FOUND A CLOTH.
WHICH HAS A RATHER DUBIOUS SMELL. WILL NOT MAKE THE SPERM JOKE, WILL NOT MAKE THE SPERM JOKE ... OH SHI-
ELSEWHERE, IN A DUNGEON, MORGAUSE AND CENRID ARE GETTING "IDEAS"
AND THEN TALK ABOUT PLOTTY THINGS, OR SOMETHING. WHILE STARING AT EACH OTHER LIKE THEY WANT TO FUCK THE PLAN AND FUCK ON THE FLOOR INSTEAD. UNFFFF
LATER, AFTER SEX SOME-FUCKING-WHERE (OH YES, HIS HAIR IS TOUSLED. I SEE IT), CENRID EATS AN APPLE WITH A KNIFE, WHILE AWAITING HIS CAPTIVE GUEST.
WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE GWEN, DEPOSITED RIGHT AT HIS FEET
GWEN IS ALL NERVOUS ABOUT THE LONG, THIN PHALLIC OBJECT APPROACHING HER
AND I'M GOING TO KILL MY BRAIN WITH FIRE RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST WROTE THAT.
CAN'T HELP IT OK, CENRID IS WEARING A FUCKING "RAPING TIME" FACE AND IT SCARES ME A LITTLE BIT.
BUT INSTEAD OF WANTING TO CUT A BITCH, CENRID FREES GWEN.
CENRID ALSO BRINGS OUT HIS OTHER CAPTIVE GUEST
WHO IS SOMEONE THAT GWEN KNOWS. OOHOOOHHOHOHHHH~~ BIG REVEAL FOR PEOPLE WHO HADN'T READ THE SPOILERS!!
LOL, AND CENRID IS "IN B4 HATER 'GWEN IS A FUCKING HUSSY, WTF GROPING HUGGING ANOTHER MAN, FUCKING MARY SUE' COMMENTS" BY SAYING THEIR SIBLINGS. LOL I LOVE HIS SARCASTIC, BITCHY ATTITUDE HERE. SO MUCH 8DD
THIS BADASS GQMF IS TOTALLY GONNA CUT YOU IF YOU DON'T STFU RIGHT NOW!
MORGAUSE LIKES IT WHEN YOU GET NASTY AND AUTHORITATIVE LIKE THAT ;)
GWEN AND ELYAN FIND THIS THE APPROPRIATE MOMENT TO HAVE A HEART-TO-HEART ABOUT WTF TROUBLE THE DEADBEAT BROTHER HAS GOTTEN THEM INTO NOW. NICE AND NASTY GWEN, GEEZ.
ELYAN IS ALL "PHTT, BITCH DON'T HATE - THEM SNATCHES WERE JUST CLIMBING IN MAH WINDOWS, SNATCHIN' ME UP SO YA'LL NEED TO HIDE YOUR KEYS, HIDE YOUR HORSES AND HIDE YOUR FRIENDS, COZ THEY BE SNATCHIN' THEM UP TOO"
GWEN: ... ARTHUR! D:
FANGIRLS COLLECTIVE: *FACEPALM* MERLIN IS YOUR FRIEND TOO. AND WTF ABOUT MORGANA?! D:< RAWR!
YEAH, SO TO SKIP LATER PLOT SCENES, GWEN IS BAIT FOR ARTHUR BECAUSE ARTHUR CAN'T RESIST SAVING THE LIVES OF EVERY SINGLE DAMN PERSON HE KNOWS. THAT AND MERLIN NEEDS HIS GAY BEST FRIEND BACK.
CENRID AND MORGAUSE ARE GETTING ~AWFULLY COSEY~ UP ON THE BALCONY THERE. GUH, THEY ARE MAKING SUCH SEX FACES AT EACH OTHER. I CAN'T EVEN DEAL AL;DKJD;LFKJA;FLJAL;GKJA;DLDJALJ
BACK IN CAMELOT, MERLIN IS REPORTING BACK TO ARTHUR.
MERLIN IS LOVING THE NEW, DELICIOUS SHIRT THAT ARTHUR IS WEARING. IA, MERLIN, IA.
MERLIN TELLS ARTHUR TO "SMELL IT" BECAUSE THATS THE ONLY WAY TO FIND OUT WHY ITS OF IMPORT.
LMFAO, ARTHUR, I DO NOT BLAME YOUR FACE RN AT ALL. LIKE SRSLY, WTF MERLIN. WE ALL KNOW YOU LOVE ARTHUR'S JIZZ ON THOSE CLOTHS YOU USE TO CLEAN HIM WITH, BUT ARTHUR DNW TO KNOW WHAT GWEN DOES WITH HERS!
AFTER SOME INSISTING THOUGH, ARTHUR TAKES A NICE BIG WHIFF.
ROFL, MERLIN'S FACE SAYS IT ALL. "WHAT. THE. SHIT!" SMELL =/= INHALE YOU SILLY PRINCE!
OF COURSE ARTHUR IS ADVERSELY AFFECTED BY THE DRUG ON THE CLOTH
BUT MERLIN IS ALWAYS THERE TO SAVE THE DAY WITH FUCKING MAGIC WTF ARE YOU SUICIDAL YOU STUPID FUCKING WIZARD?!?!?!
HE USES HIS FUCKING MAGIC OMG SEKRIT WHAT SEKRIT TO HELP ARTHUR FALL GRACELESSLY INTO A CHAIR
THANKFULLY ARTHUR IS TOO OUT OF IT TO NOTICE HIS MANSERVANTS SUICIDE MISSION
IDK IF THIS LOOK ON MERLIN'S FACE IS ONE OF RELIEF OR ADORKABLE LOVABLENESS AT HIS HUSBANDS' FACE. OH MERLIN SO SMITTEN ♥
LOL ARTHUR COMES ROUND WITH MERLIN TALKING ABOUT "HOGWARTS" AND "COMPOUNDS" AND IT ALL HURTS ARTHUR'S POOR BB HEAD. SMALL WORDS, MERLIN, SMALL WORDS.
MERLIN SPELLS IT OUT: W-O-M-A-N
LOL, THIS IS THE FACE OF SOMEONE HEARING THE PENNY DROP. FINALLY.
~IGNORE CENRID BEING A CREEPER TO GWEN~ NOT ALLOWED TO THINK SEXY THOUGHTS BETWEEN THEM - GWEN IS MALE-CELIBATE FOREVER AND EVER. *NODNOD*
OH, AND GWEN HAS TO BRING ARTHUR TO CENRID FOR ROYAL SEXING TIMES OR WATCH HER BROTHER DIE. HELLO PLOT OF THE WEEK :D *WAVES*
ARTHUR IS EXPLAINING TO HIS FATHER THAT GWEN HAS BE KIDNAPPED
LOL, UTHER'S REACTION: "AND?????" /UNCARING
XDDDDDDDDDDDD
OH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SOMETIMES UTHER.
AND ARTHUR GETS ALL INDIGNANT AND WANTS TO GO SEARCH FOR MORGANA'S GIRLFRIEND LIKE A GOOD BROTHER FRIEND.
UTHER JUST SAYS "KEEP DREAMING, DELUSIONAL. MY GUARDS ARE TOO BUSY PROTECTING MY KINGDOM, NOT SOME HUSSY SHARING MY DAUGHTER'S WARDS' BED.
NEXT MORNING, MORGANA IS LOOKING RATHER LOVERLY WHILE SLEEPING
AND WAKES TO THE SIGHT OF THE SUN SHINING WITH THE LIGHT OF HER ANGEL, GWEN 8D
WHEREIN SHE PROMPTLY BUMPS INTO MERLIN [AND FALLS TO THE FLOOR. OH HOW FUCKING FEMALE AND TYPICAL BULLSHIT]. MERLIN IS UBER HAPPY TO SEE HER
GWEN LOOKS KINDA FREAKED OUT THOUGH WHEN MERLIN SAID HE'S BEEN STALKING CREEPING LOOKING IN HER HOUSE FOR HER.
LOL, AND MERLIN REALLY ISN'T HELPING HIS CREEPER IMAGE HERE BY LOOKING DOWN AT HER HAND *IS IMPLICATING NOTHING*
WHICH IS COVERED IN KINKY ROPE BURNS.
OK, YOU HAVE FULL PERMISSION TO KILL MY BRAIN WITH FIRE NOW.
MERLIN TAKES GWEN HOME (OMFGOD PLEASE STOP ME)
BUT ONLY SO THEY CAN TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS. LMFAO, MERLIN HAS A GREAT LINE HERE:
"IT'S COMMON KNOWLEDGE THAT ARTHUR WOULD LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR ANY OF HIS SUBJECTS"
FUCKING SUCK ON THAT ARTHUR/GWEN SHIPPERS.
"HE COULD HAVE TAKEN ANYONE"
OH MERLIN YOUR FACE WHEN YOU SAY THIS, SO SERIOUS.
YOU TOTALLY KNOW THAT MERLIN IS ALL "I'M SO GLAD THEY DIDN'T TAKE ME, MY DELICATE WIFEY TENDENCIES DON'T DEAL WELL UNDER TORTURE"
MY SUSPICION AKA CANON AS TO WHY CENRID COULD USE GWEN AS LEVERAGE IS BECAUSE SHE HAS A BROTHER THAT HE CAN USE TO MAKE SURE GWEN DOES HER BEST TO TRAP CONVINCE HAVE ARTHUR DELIVERED TO CENRID, AS HE WANTS. MERLIN, ON THE OTHER HAND (WHOM ARTHUR LOVES WITH ALL HIS HEART) COULD JUST BLAST THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE AND THEN WE WOULDN'T HAVE AN EPISODE.
(OBVIOUSLY THIS MEANS I THINK SOME-FUCKING-ONE IN THAT GROUP MUST BE SUS OF MERLIN'S MAGIC, BECAUSE FUCKING SERIOUSLY, IT IS GETTING RIDICULOUS BY THIS POINT, SHOW).
MERLIN IS A GOOD FRIEND AND MAKES GWEN GO TO THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN HELP HER - ARTHUR. ARTHUR AND MERLIN THEN PROCEED TO HAVE AN EYE FUCKING CONVERSATION ABOUT WHAT CENRID'S PLAN MUST BE.
GUH! THE FUCKING WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER. LIKE NO ONE ELSE IS IN THE ROOM. *DED*
ALSO: MERLIN'S FINGERS ARE SO FUCKING PERFECT.
THEY HAVE A BIT MORE EYE FUCKING OVER MERLIN BEING ALL "THIS IS WHERE I JUST ROLL MY EYES AT YOU AND LOVE YOU DESPITE YOUR CONTINUED EFFORTS TO PUT ME IN HARMS WAY SO I CAN SAVE YOUR DOPEY SELF"
AND ARTHUR GETS THE FUCKING LIQUID SEX VOICE ON THAT MAKES EVERY SINGLE PERSON WEAK AT THE KNEES
MORGANA IS VOYEURISTIC-ING LISTENING AT THE DOOR AND LIKING IT QUITE A BIT TOO
MERLIN MENTIONS THE TRAP THING AND ARTHUR JUST MAKES THIS FUCKING FACE AND IS ALL "HO HO, JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE"
LULZ
MORGANA ONCE AGAIN LEAVES IN THE DARK OF NIGHT TO GO VISIT HER SISTER
WHO LOOKS VERY PLEASED TO SEE HER AND IMMEDIATELY BEGINS PLOTTING EVIL, DARK THINGS TO DO WITH HER SISTER.
MORGANA LIKES THE WAY YOU THINK, MORGAUSE ^^;
NEXT MORNING, ARTHUR AND MERLIN GO TOGETHER TO PAY UTHER A VISIT (LOL, MARRIAGE PROPOSAL)
WHERE ARTHER'S OPENING FUCKING LINE IS "IT'S SLIGHTLY AWKWARD" (LOL, STILL THINKING MARRIAGE PROPOSAL)
EVEN THOUGH FANDOM COLLECTIVELY JIZZED ALL OVER THEMSELVES, UTHER JUST CONTINUES ABOUT HIS SIGNINGS, BECAUSE HE IS A VERY BUSY MAN AND REALLY, ITS NOT THE FIRST TIME.
ITS NOT UNTIL ARTHUR SAYS "2 SILK DRESSES" THAT ARTHUR FINALLY HAS UTHER'S ATTENTION. OH YEA, MY MIND IS STILL THINKING "MARRIAGE PROPOSAL" AND OBVIOUSLY I HAD GOOD REASON.
ARTHUR THEN GOES ON TO EXPLAIN HIS "BET"
AND I'M REALLY NOT CONVINCED ARTHUR DOESN'T HAVE SOMETHING ELSE THAT HE WANTS TO SAY.
UTHER JUST LOLS WHEN ARTHUR SAYS UTHER'S FAVOURITE'S NAME: MORGANA
OH ARTHUR, YOU KNOW THAT MORGANA IS THE FAVOURITE BECAUSE UTHER'S MOSTLY SLEEPING WITH HER, DON'T LOOK SO SULLEN.
PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS ENTIRE TIME THAT MERLIN IS WATCHING ARTHUR WITH A LOOK OF REVERENCE ON HIS FACE THAT RIVALS EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING IN THIS LIFE. I'M JUST SAYING.
ARTHUR MUST NOTICE THIS LOOK BECAUSE HE GOES TO STAND BESIDE HIS WIFE TO IMPRESS UPON UTHER THAT THEY WILL ALWAYS BE A UNITED FRONT HE IS GOING TO BE TAKING HIS MANSERVANT WITH HIM, JSYK.
SO WITH THAT, UTHER PRETTY MUCH TELLS THEM TO GTFO AND BUY MORGANA HER SILK DRESSES. XD
MERLIN AND ARTHUR AVOID LOOKINNG AT EACH OTHER AS THEY LEAVE, BUT BOTH ARE WEARING IDENTICAL "HEHEHEHE WE'RE SO SNEAKY AT LYING" FACES. OMG BESTEST. ICKLE. GRIN. EVER.
MERLIN GOES TO PACK AND TELL GAIUS ABOUT HIS ~MORGANA WAS TEH EVIL ONE~ SUSPICIONS.
LOL MERLIN, MAN, YOU REALLY HAVE IT BAD. YOU SERIOUSLY GET THE MOST BESOTTED LOOK ON YOUR FACE WHENEVER YOU TALK ABOUT ARTHUR. IT'S SO CUTE ♥
GAIUS, IN TYPICAL GAIUS FASHION, HAS TO BE THE BAD NEWS DOUCHEHAT AND REMINDS MERLIN THAT ARTHUR CANNOT LET HIMSELF GET KILLED FOR THE SAKE OF SOMEONE HE'S NEVER MET, EVEN IF THEY ARE BROTHER TO HIS FUTURE BRIDE FRIENDS' RELATIVES.
(THEREFORE, GAIUS DOES NOT BELIEVE THIS SHIT ABOUT A/G, FYI CROWD)
LMFAO, MERLIN'S ALL "ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?! OF COURSE I KNOW THAT! MY HUSBAND IS COMING BACK SAFE AND SOUND - I'D NEVER LET HIM GET HURT"
MERLIN: WE'RE GOING TO RESCUE EVERYBODY AND SAVE THE DAY, LIKE SUPERHEROES!
GAIUS'S FACE: ... o_O
ROFL, METHINKS GAIUS IS JUDGING THAT STATEMENT JUST A LITTLE BIT
BUT HE DOES SAY GOODBYE TO MERLIN IN A FATHERLY WAY (I.E. TELLING HIM TO LOOK AFTER HIMSELF), SO I GUESS THAT'S NICE.
OUTSIDE IN THE COURTYARD, MERLIN IS LOOKING VERY CONCENTRATORY AS HE STRAPS UP HIS LOVELY HORSE.
THEY ARE GOING ON A ~ROAD TRIP~ AND LOOK! GUESS WHO DECIDED TO SHOW UP.
MERLIN IS DEBATING WHETHER HE LIKES THIS OR NOT. ON THE ONE HAND, FREAKY HATE SEX IN THE WOODS. ON THE OTHER, SHE WANTS TO KILL YOU.
MORGANA JUST GIVES HIM HER BEST "I'M GOING TO EAT. YOU. UP" FACE AND MERLIN STILL DOESN'T KNOW IF SHE MEANS THAT IN A GOOD WAY OR NOT.
LOL, BUT MERLIN CHOSES TO TAKE THIS MOMENT TO GO ALL PROTECTIVE!WIFE ON ARTHUR AND GETS HIS SAD SRS FACE ON THAT ARTHUR DIDN'T TELL HIM \O/
ARTHUR JUST LIKE "WHATEVER, FREAKY SEX IN THE WOODS!! WIN/WIN, YES?!" LOL ARTHUR, SO BLINDED BY LOVE.
MERLIN'S JUST LIKE "... BUT I GAVE HER UP WHEN I HAD TO CHOSE BETWEEN YOU BOTH AND WE GOT MARRIED!" OH MERLIN. I KNOW, THE SACRIFICES YOU MAKE. AT LEAST YOU GET YOUR WOODLANDS THREESOME *PAT*PAT*
IN THE WOODS, ATRHUR IS TELLING A STORY OF HOW HE WAS AFRAID OF THEM AS A BOY AND THEN TELLS EVERYONE THEY DON'T NEED TO BE AFRAID BECAUSE "THEY HAVE HIM" (LOL HIS ARROGANCE THAT IS SOON HUMBLIFIED)
HE LOOKS AT MERLIN RIGHT AFTER HE SAYS THIS
AND MERLIN FEELS THAT GIDDY, HAPPY, FLOATY, WARM FEELING INSIDE
LULZ AND THERE IS SOME MORE SEXUAL TENSION IN THE FORM OF SRS STARES BETWEEN MERLIN AND MORGANA. AND GIGGLES FROM GWEN BECAUSE SHE'S OUT OF THE LOOP
AND THEN ARTHUR TRIES TO TELL MERLIN TO GO "FETCH FIREWOOD" (LMFAO, CODE FOR SEX IF I'VE EVER HEARD ONE"
BUT IT TAKES MERLIN A SECOND BECAUSE HE KNOWS FOR A FACT THAT *MORGANA* IS ALREADY ACTUALLY SEARCHING FOR FIREWOOD. LOL HIS REALISATION FACE.
ARGH AND THEN MERLIN GOES INTO THE WOODS AND FINDS MORGANA HOLDING A STACK OF PHALLIC OBJECTS AND HE LOOKS LIKE HE REALLY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO HERE.
SME: *HISSES* TAKE HER INTO YOUR ARMS AND FUCK HER AGAINST THE TREE!!! >:D
MORGANA TAKES THE TIME TO ACTUALLY BE PRODUCTIVE WHILE WAITING FOR MERLIN TO JUST GET IT ON ALREADY!
MERLIN DECIDES TO ENTER LECTURE MODE INSTEAD AND TELL MORGANA SHE IS LOVED BY EVERYONE, SO WHY IS SHE BEING LIKE THIS?
MORGANA IS ANNOYED BY THE LECTURE.
AND BITES BACK WITH "YOU JUST POISON YOUR FRIENDS INSTEAD".
FUCKING SCOURNED, MERLIN!
MORGANA MAKES THREATS BUT IT SEEMS MERLIN HAS FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO PLAY THIS GAME. HE APPROACHES MORGANA WITH THIS FUCKING LOOK ON HIS FACE AND PLENTY FIGHTING WORDS FOR PROTECTING ARTHUR.
MORGANA RESPONDS WITH MORE THREATS. THINGS ARE HEATING UP!
MERLIN CAN'T RESIST HER TOUCH HAS TO MAKE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR: LOVED YOU ONCE, TILL YOU BURNED ME. NOW I HAVE TO PROTECT ARTHUR, NO MATTER WHAT. I MADE MY CHOICE.
MORGANA: BRING. IT. ON.
MERLIN IS FEELING UNCOMFORTABLY AROUSED AFTER THAT.
... SOMEONE FUCKING KILL THOSE VIOLINS WITH FIRE! ARGH!
MERLIN AND MORGANA WALK BACK TO THE CAMP AND MORGANA SMIRKS AT HAVING INTERUPTED THE FUCKING VIOLINS.
MERLIN HESITATES FOR A SECOND, NOT QUITE SURE WHAT TO DO. LOL HIS ACTUAL LINE HERE THOUGH "I MAY HAVE MISSED A ... TWIG BACK THERE?" XDDD OH MERLIN, ILU AND YOUR SILLINESS.
ARTHUR JUST LOOKS AT MERLIN LIKE "SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW WHY I LOVE YOU SO." XD
THEY SIT AROUND THE FIRE AFTER MERLIN'S WIFE INSTINCTS OBVIOUSLY MADE THEM DINNER
THEY DISCUSS TACTICS
MORGANA IS QUITE HAPPY TO LEARN ABOUT THEIR SNEAKY PLAN OF SNEAKERY
ARTHUR IS JUST TERRIBLY SMUG ABOUT THE WHOLE DEAL
AND MERLIN IS JUST ALL "OY VEY, THIS IS NOT GOING TO END WELL."
OF COURSE IT DOESN'T BECAUSE MORGANA IS HAVING A VERY UNSECRET MEETING WITH MORGAUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
WHO GIVES HER GIFTS OF JEALOUS WITH A MAGIC GPS INSTALLED
AFTERWARDS MORGANA GOES BACK TO THE CAMPFIRE AND PRETENDS SHE HASN'T BEEN TO VISIT HER LOVERGIRL~
BUT MERLIN IS TOTES ONTO YOU MORGANA!
NEXT MORNING MERLIN HAS TO SHOW OFF HIS STUPID TENDENCIES, OR HIS ABILITY TO STICK HIS NECK OUT AND PUT HIS FOOT IN IT, BECAUSE HE MAKES A FUCKING BLATANT COMMENT TO MORGANA THAT SAYS "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST NIGHT"
MORGANA IS JUST LIKE "DEAL WITH IT. BITCH."
LMFAO
THE TEAM MOVES ON TOGETHER~
MERLIN IS GETTING A LITTLE DESPERATE. SO HE USES MAGIC. IDIOT!
ON A MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE (IDIOT!)
THAT ATTACKS MOTHERFUCKING MORGANA AND KNOCKS HER OFF HER HORSE. AND MERLIN WAS THE FIRST ONE TO JUMP OFF HIS HORSE~ AWW, IF HE WAS LESS INCRIMINATING RIGHT HERE, I'D SAY THAT WAS SWEET IN A FUCKED UP WAY
BUT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT MORGANA TO LEAD MORGAUSE STRAIGHT TO THEIR ORGY PARTY IN THE SEKRIT TUNNELS, HE URGES MORGANA TO STAY AND REST
MORGANA GETS PUSHY THOUGH AND IS ALL HBIC "FUCK OFF MERLIN"
THEY'RE SO FLAMING HOT THAT EVEN ARTHUR NOTICES SOMETHING IS UP (LMFAO, I'M SURPRISED HE DIDN'T ASK ABOUT THE SEXUAL TENSION MORGANA AND MERLIN HAVE RIGHT NOW).
BUT THEY ALL JUST CHOSE TO IGNORE IT FOR THE TIME BEING AND ~CARRY ON~
WITH MORGANA IN ARTHUR'S ARMS ;D
LMFAO, MORGAUSE'S BLIND TRUST IS MISPLACED WHEN SHE TELL CENRID IN THE NEXT SCENE THAT "MORGANA HAS NOT FAILED US YET". HAHA, GOOD THING SHE DOESN'T REMEMBER EPISODE 2. XD;
BUT WHO CARES, THEY ARE MAKING SEX EYES AT EACH OTHER AND ALL I WANT FOR THEM TO DO IS RAVISH EACH OTHER STUPID ON THE TABLE RIGHT NOW.
FUCKING OMG, EYES HALF-LIDDED WITH LUST AND ALL THOSE FANFIC CLICHES - RIGHT THERE PEOPLE! A;LGKJAD;LFGJAD;LJGAD;LGJF
DYING A DEAD DEATH.
SO IT TURNS OUT THIS CASTLE IS LOCATED NEAR THE BEACH OF MANY TROUBLES FOR ARTHUR AND MERLIN, SINCE ITS PRETTY MUCH THE EXACT SAME PLACE THE UNICORN EPISODE TOOK PLACE AT.
BEFORE THEY FINISH SCOUTING THOUGH, MERLIN TELLS ARTHUR OF HIS INSTINCTS. AND THAT HE WANTS TO KISS ARTHUR QUITE BADLY [FOR LUCK, OBVIOUSLY]. METHINKS ARTHUR WOULD OBLIGE.
AS A GROUP THEY "SNEAK" TOWARDS THE SEKRIT ENTRANCE
WHEREIN MERLIN (WITH ALL THIS PARANOIA) ALLOWS MORGANA TO STAY BEHIND LAST, WHO LOOKS AROUND KINDA SHADY LIKE
THEN PUTS THE GPS IN PLACE
WHICH PRETTY MUCH INSTANTLY STARTS SMOKING, AND YET NO ONE NOTICES. LOL, MEDIEVAL SMOKESCREEN~
THEY HAVE SOME RATHER CREEPY "TENSION BUILDING" MOMENTS WHERE GWEN GETS SCARED BY A SKELETON OF LULZ, MERLIN GETS SPIDER WEBS IN HIS FACE AND DEAD BODIES ARE JUST LYING EVERYWHERE. ARTHUR IS ALL SMILES AND A FLAMING TORCH.
ROFLMAO, NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT HE JUST "SHARED HIS FLAME" WITH MERLIN. YOU KNOW, JUST SAYIN'.
OF COURSE IT TURNS OUT THAT SOLDIERS ARE COMING DDD:
THEY STAND AND FIGHT
BUT OF COURSE GWEN IS THE FIRST ONE TO GET HERSELF NEARLY CUTTHROAT.
SO THEY ALL PACK IT IN AND COME QUIETLY.
CENRID WAS JUST ADMIRING THE VIEW WHILE LONGING IN HIS CHAIR
AS THEY ARE DEPOSITED IN FRONT OF CENRID IN THE MOST ROUGH WAY POSSIBLE
AND ARTHUR IS AT A PERFECT HEIGHT FOR WHAT I THINK IS ALWAYS ON CENRID'S OVERTLY PERVERTED MIND.
OF COURSE HE CANNOT RESIST LEERING AT THE BEAUTIFUL LADY MORGANA
WHO IS ALL "DO. NOT. EVEN. PIG!" OH BURN
THE BOYS GET THEIR TESTOSTERONE ON AND ARTHUR GOES NUTS WHEN CENRID SAYS TO LOCK EVERYONE UP. OH ARTHUR, YOU KNUCKLE HEAD ♥
CENRID RATES HIS PERFORMANCE AS A 10 OUT OF 10 AND BOWS TO HIS AUDIENCE OF ONE MS MORGAUSE
WHO LOOKS TO BE PRETTY FUCKING IMPRESSED, I THINK ITS SAFE TO SAY.
GWEN AND ELYAN HAVE A PRETTY LOL MOMENT IN THE CELL. OH BUT ITS ALL TO FORCE A/G OR SOMETHING AND I TUNED OUT.
MORGANA IS DRAGGED TO THE GREETING ROOM WHERE SHE IS GREETED BY HER SISTER.
CENRID JUST GRINS SHAMELESSLY AT HER AND MY GOD, CAN THIS GUY GET ANYMORE AWESOME?! SRSLY.
JESUS MORGAUSE, JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE PRACTICALLY MARRIED TO THE MAN, DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO FLAUNT HOW MUCH YOU LOVE SEX WITH HIM IN FRONT OF MORGANA. SHE'LL GET JEALOUS.
CENRID JUST LOOKS AT HER WITH A GAZE OF PURE SEX OF HIS OWN.
MERLIN AND ARTHUR ARE LOCKED IN A SEX CELL TOGETHER. OBVIOUSLY RECOVERING FROM A RECENT BOUT OF CELL SEX.
ARTHUR IS LOOKING RATHER SWELL AND HAPPY AND THINKING THINGY LIKE.
MERLIN JUST DOESN'T LIKE THE IDEA OF TORTURE. ESPECIALLY TO HIS PRECIOUS ARTHUR'S BEAUTIFUL BODY.
ARTHUR SAYS HE WILL NOT BE TORTUED THOUGH, AND MERLIN IS ALL LIKE "... IS THIS WHERE YOU CONSENT TO THE BONDAGE AND DOMINATRIX PLAY?"
LOL MERLIN, YOU'RE WANT IS SHOWING.
BUT ARTHUR JUST LOOKS AT MERLIN LIKE "ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY? ONLY WITH YOU BB"
NOW MERLIN IS CONFUSED.
ARTHUR SAYS THEY ARE GONNA BUST *OUTTA* THERE AND MERLIN DOES INDEED LIKE THIS IDEA :D
THERE IS A NICE SCENE BETWEEN GWEN AND HER BROTHER ABOUT WHY HE'S NEVER AROUND AND I THOUGHT THE WRITERS FILLED THAT HOLE RATHER WELL. GOOD FOR THEM. AND APPARENTLY THEY MAKE NICE TOO, SO YAY FOR WARM FUZZY FEELINGS.
BUT THEN, BACK TO THE IMPORTANT STUFF. MERLIN IS POUNDING ON THE DOOR AND SHOUTING TO GET THE GUARDS ATTENTION
HE ACTUALLY TELLS THEM THAT THE PRINCE HAS ESCAPED. OH DEAR.
THEY RUSH IN LIKE THE BAFOONS THEY ARE. MERLIN'S ALL "I DON'T KNOW WHERE - OH WAIT, THERE HE IS *LOOKS UP*"
AND LO AND BEHOLD, ARTHUR IS ON THE CEILING.
MERLIN, IN A MIRACLE OF FATE THAT DID NOT INVOLVE MAGIC, MANAGED TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF ONE OF THE GUARDS WITH HIS SWORD.
ARTHUR IS RATHER IMPRESSED AND TURNED ON BY IT
LOL, AFTER THAT SEX INDUCING DISPLAY OF MANLY DOMINEERING, ARTHUR AND MERLIN CHOSE TO SNEAK AROUND CORNERS ROFL
ARTHUR ASKS *MERLIN* IF HE HAS ANY IDEAS AND MERLIN'S SNEAKY EARS SAY "ONLY ONE"
AND HE PUSHES ARTHUR OUT INTO THE GUARDS LINE OF SIGHT. LMFAO OH SHOW, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THAR. MERLIN GETTING HIS REVENGE FOR 2X04, I SEE IT. XDD
SO THEY DUEL IT OUT
BUT ARTHUR GETS BACKED UP AGAINST A WALL D:
SO MERLIN MAGIC TO THE RESCUE!
BY ... MAKING HIS PANTS FALL DOWN. OH CHRIST, SO MANY GAY JOKES, SO LITTLE TIME.
LMFAO ARSE CHEEKS XDDD
ARTHUR TELLS MERLIN TO "GUARD ELYAN AND GWEN WITH HIS LIFE" BECAUSE HE ~BELIEVES~ IN MERLIN.
BUT MERLIN IMMEDIATELY VOICES HOW DANGEROUS RESCUING MORGANA IS AND THE *WORRY* IN HIS VOICE, OMFG. HEARTWRENCHING! \0/
AFTER ARTHUR RUNS OFF, MERLIN JUST TURNS TO GWEN AND ELYAN AND SAYS "I'M GOING AFTER HIM" IN THE MOST OMFGOD VOICE I'VE EVER HEARD. IT'S LIKE HE'S RESIGNED TO DEATH BUT HE'LL GO ANYWAY BECAUSE HE CAN'T BEAR TO LET HIS HUSBAND FACE IT ALONE. :O AND THE LOOK ON HIS FACE!! \O/
CENRID SEEMS TO BE RATHER HAPPY ABOUT ARTHUR ESCAPING, LOLWHUT.
MORGAUSE ASSURES MORGANA THAT ARTHUR IS GONNA DIE
AND CENRID GETS HIS PSYCHO MANIAC FACE ON AND DRAWS HIS SWORDS
MEANWHILE, ARTHUR IS LURKING BEHIND PILLARS AND SOMEHOW NOT MANAGING TO GET DISCOVERED.
AND ITS NOT UNTIL ARTHUR IS STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOOR GUARDS
AND SMIRKING WITH HIS FUCKING FACE
THAT THEY ACTUAL NOTICE AND TRY TO BEAT HIM. FAILING MISERABLY, OF COURSE.
ARTHUR BURSTS INTO THE ROOM HOLDING MORGANA
WHERE CENRID IS VERY DEFINITELY "HOLDING MORGANA CAPTIVE"
AND THEN MORGAUSE SLINKS OUT FROM THE SHADOWS
ARTHUR "SEEMS SURPRISED" BUT TRIES TO PRETEND HE'S NOT. I WONDER IF HE NOW REALISES SHE HAD EVIL INTENTIONS WHEN SHE LET HIM TALK WITH HIS MOTHER?
IN ANY CASE, SHE MAGICS A FIRE TORNADO
AND SENDS IT STRAIGHT FOR ARTHUR
THANKFULLY HOWEVER, MERLIN IS SNEAKING AROUND THE CORNER
AND PUTS A MAGIC STOP TO THIS FIRE TORNADO
RESULTING IN HALF THE ROOM BEING EXPLODED.
SOMEHOW ARTHUR IS THE FIRST TO WAKE AND GOES TO 'RESCUE MORGANA' OR SOMETHING
ONLY TO TURN AROUND AND FIND MERLIN THERE, AND HE'S RATHER ANNOYED BECAUSE HE THINKS HIS SILLY WIFE IS PUTTING HIMSELF IN UNNECESSARY DANGER (OH, LIKE YOU AREN'T ARTHUR).
SO THEY GET INTO A BIT OF A LOVERS TIFF BROUGHT ON BY THE STRESS OF THE SITUATION, BUT ITS ONLY BECAUSE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO.
SO MERLIN TAKES MORGANA AND RUNS
BUT SHE ~CAN'T GO ON~ BECAUSE OF HER ANKLE (LOL, ONLY *NOW* GIVING YOU TROUBLE MORGANA?)
MERLIN IS ALSO SUS AT THIS BULLSHIT.
MORGANA RECKONS MERLIN "KNOWS NOTHING" (LOL TRUTH USUALLY) AND THEY FIGHT
TO SOLVE THE ISSUE, ARTHUR JUST PICKS HER UP AND CARRIES HER XDD
MERLIN IS VERY MUCH HAPPY ABOUT THIS AND IN LOVE WITH HIS HUSBAND'S GOOD SENSE
THEY MAKE IT TO THE HORSES
AND GWEN'S ALL "I DON'T HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU TELL ME TOO" LOL ILU GWEN. ARTHUR'S FAAAAAAAAAACE XDD
BUT THEN BAD HENCHMEN ARE CHASING THEM, SO THEY GOTTA FIGHT
APPARENTLY THIS MEANS THAT ELYAN CAN FIGHT TOO
ARTHUR IS RATHER IMPRESSED
AND MERLIN'S KNIGHT SWORDFIGHTING KINK SEEMS TO BE TWITCHING ITS HEAD.
LOL, AS THEY RIDE BACK TO CAMELOT TOGETHER, ARTHUR UNWITTINGLY TRIES TO GUILT TRIP MORGANA INTO HOW PERFECT THEIR COMPANIONSHIP IS XDD
MERLIN SEES ALL IN HIS WISDOM THOUGH, AND SEES WHAT YOU DID THAR WRITERS
AND SO ENDS THAT EPISODE. GOD, HOW FUCKING LONG DID IT TAKE ME TO GET THIS UP.
In all seriousness, please let me know if you want me to continue these. I'm woefully behind and I am sorry about that, but I don't think I'll get caught up properly anytime soon :(
EDIT: OKOK FORGET I MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT STOPPING. I WILL GET THE NEXT EPISODE UP ASAP (FINGERS CROSSED BEFORE THIS WEEKEND. AKA, FRIDAY NIGHT/SATURDAY MORNING ABOUT SIX HOURS BEFORE THE NEXT EPISODE IS GOING TO COME OUT XDD)
THIS EPISODE OPENS UP IN A PRETTY FANTASTIC WAY. AND BY THAT I MEAN WITH FEMMSLASH. :D YAYAY!
MORGANA IS "SLEEPING" (AKA RESTING) AFTER A RAUNCHY AND DIRTY TUMBLE IN THE SACK WITH GWEN
WHILE GWEN TUCKS HER INTO BED AND THEN MAKES TO LEAVE. SINCE ITS FORBID FOR SERVANTS TO STAY OVERNIGHT, OR SOMETHING. :(
ONCE SHE GETS HOME HOWEVER, THIS RATHER UNFORTUNATELY LOOKING FACE HAS CREEPED IN TO NAB HER
OBVIOUSLY GWEN IS QUITE SCARED, BUT GETS HER BADASS ON AND PICKS UP THE MOTHERFUCKING FIREPOKER TO DEFEND HERSELF AND BEAT HIS ARSE.
WHICH WOULD HAVE WORKED REALLY WELL, IF SOMEONE HADN'T SNEAKED UP BEHIND HER AND DRUGGED HER DEAD.
THEY TIE HER UP ON THEIR HORSE (OMG BRAIN, DON'T EVEN GO THERE) AND CARRY ~HER OFF INTO THE NIGHT~ :O
WHILST MORGANA JUST STANDS BY SMIRKING \O/
CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING - KINKY ORGIES IN THE FOREST, Y/Y?
WITH GWEN, MORGANA, MORGAUSE AND CENDRID ALL PRESENT, OBVIOUSLY
OH BOYS, THERE COULD BE NO BETTER WAY TO RETURN FROM THE CREDITS. ARTHUR IS CLEARLY NAKED IN BED, GETTING HIS BEAUTY SLEEP, AND MERLIN (BLAST THOSE CHEERY MORNING PEOPLE) IS ALREADY UP AND DRESSED, AWAKENING HIS LOVER WITH BRIGHT SMILES AND SUNSHINE.
YEP, IT'S AS GAY AS THAT DESCRIPTION WAS.
ARTHUR IS NOT AMUSED, BECAUSE HE IS NOT A MORNING PERSON. NOR DOES HE LIKE BEING WOKEN BY THE SAME WORDS EACH DAY (LOL, NOTE HOW ARTHUR NEVER SAYS HE DOESN'T LIKE SEEING MERLIN'S FACE IN THE MORNING ~LOLOL~ TOTES THE BEST THING TO WAKE UP TO, Y/Y?)
LOL, MERLIN. HE'S ALL "WHAT? ... WHAT DID I SAY THAT DISPLEASES YOU, MY MAJESTY, MY LOVE, MY GROUCHY PRINCESS IN THE MORNINGS?"
ARTHUR IS JUST ALL "ARGH, INSTEAD OF SAYING THE SAME THING EVERY MORNING, A BLOW JOB WOULD BE MUCH MORE EFFECTIVE"
LOL HIS MANBOOBAGE TRYING TO BE ENTICING. XDD
SO MERLIN STARTS TALKING ABOUT "SHAKING LEGS" AND MY. FUCKING. GOD. THIS SHOW, I CAN'T EVEN.
SO FUCKING ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT IT TOO XDDD
HE EVEN CAUGHT ARTHUR'S ATTENTION. XDDDDDDD
HANDS ON HIPS = SEX BRIBERY IN THE MAKING, Y/Y?
LOL, I THINK MERLIN IS CONFUSED BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKED. XDD OH BOYS, YOU HAVE THAT MORNING SEX BEFORE BREAKFAST 8DD
GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU~H OF COURSE MERLIN IS THE ONLY ONE SERVING THE ROYAL'S BREAKFAST INSTEAD OF SLEEPING WITH ALL OF THEM, FOR A CHANGE
THERE IS EVEN MORGANA/MERLIN INTERACTION WHEN SHE ~REJECTS HIS OFFER OF WINE~
AND I CANNOT HELP BUT UNF AT MERLIN'S CHIDED FACE. A;LKFGJADFL;LKJA;KDJ
LMFAO, I LOVE UTHER SO MUCH IN THIS SCENE. HE'S ALL "WELL IF GWEN IS A HUSSY UNRELIABLE MAID, WE CAN GET YOU A NEW ONE. A BETTER ONE. XDDD
ARTHUR, IN KEEPING WITH TODAY'S THEME OF "TOUCH THE MANSERVANT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE FOR NO REASON" GRABS A HOLD OF MERLIN AND DOESN'T WANT TO LET HIM GO. EVEN IF IT IS TO DO A GOOD DEED, SUCH AS LOOKING OUT FOR A FRIEND.
MERLIN ARRIVES TO FIND IT EMPTY.
HE MAKES SURE TO BE "THOROUGH" IN LOOKING AROUND FOR GWEN. SINCE, YOU KNOW, SHE WOULD JUST BE LYING ON THE FLOOR IN HER ONE-ROOMED HOUSE
BUT OH! WHAT IS THIS - MERLIN HAS FOUND A CLOTH.
WHICH HAS A RATHER DUBIOUS SMELL. WILL NOT MAKE THE SPERM JOKE, WILL NOT MAKE THE SPERM JOKE ... OH SHI-
ELSEWHERE, IN A DUNGEON, MORGAUSE AND CENRID ARE GETTING "IDEAS"
AND THEN TALK ABOUT PLOTTY THINGS, OR SOMETHING. WHILE STARING AT EACH OTHER LIKE THEY WANT TO FUCK THE PLAN AND FUCK ON THE FLOOR INSTEAD. UNFFFF
LATER, AFTER SEX SOME-FUCKING-WHERE (OH YES, HIS HAIR IS TOUSLED. I SEE IT), CENRID EATS AN APPLE WITH A KNIFE, WHILE AWAITING HIS CAPTIVE GUEST.
WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE GWEN, DEPOSITED RIGHT AT HIS FEET
GWEN IS ALL NERVOUS ABOUT THE LONG, THIN PHALLIC OBJECT APPROACHING HER
AND I'M GOING TO KILL MY BRAIN WITH FIRE RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE I CAN'T BELIEVE I JUST WROTE THAT.
CAN'T HELP IT OK, CENRID IS WEARING A FUCKING "RAPING TIME" FACE AND IT SCARES ME A LITTLE BIT.
BUT INSTEAD OF WANTING TO CUT A BITCH, CENRID FREES GWEN.
CENRID ALSO BRINGS OUT HIS OTHER CAPTIVE GUEST
WHO IS SOMEONE THAT GWEN KNOWS. OOHOOOHHOHOHHHH~~ BIG REVEAL FOR PEOPLE WHO HADN'T READ THE SPOILERS!!
LOL, AND CENRID IS "IN B4 HATER 'GWEN IS A FUCKING HUSSY, WTF GROPING HUGGING ANOTHER MAN, FUCKING MARY SUE' COMMENTS" BY SAYING THEIR SIBLINGS. LOL I LOVE HIS SARCASTIC, BITCHY ATTITUDE HERE. SO MUCH 8DD
THIS BADASS GQMF IS TOTALLY GONNA CUT YOU IF YOU DON'T STFU RIGHT NOW!
MORGAUSE LIKES IT WHEN YOU GET NASTY AND AUTHORITATIVE LIKE THAT ;)
GWEN AND ELYAN FIND THIS THE APPROPRIATE MOMENT TO HAVE A HEART-TO-HEART ABOUT WTF TROUBLE THE DEADBEAT BROTHER HAS GOTTEN THEM INTO NOW. NICE AND NASTY GWEN, GEEZ.
ELYAN IS ALL "PHTT, BITCH DON'T HATE - THEM SNATCHES WERE JUST CLIMBING IN MAH WINDOWS, SNATCHIN' ME UP SO YA'LL NEED TO HIDE YOUR KEYS, HIDE YOUR HORSES AND HIDE YOUR FRIENDS, COZ THEY BE SNATCHIN' THEM UP TOO"
GWEN: ... ARTHUR! D:
FANGIRLS COLLECTIVE: *FACEPALM* MERLIN IS YOUR FRIEND TOO. AND WTF ABOUT MORGANA?! D:< RAWR!
YEAH, SO TO SKIP LATER PLOT SCENES, GWEN IS BAIT FOR ARTHUR BECAUSE ARTHUR CAN'T RESIST SAVING THE LIVES OF EVERY SINGLE DAMN PERSON HE KNOWS. THAT AND MERLIN NEEDS HIS GAY BEST FRIEND BACK.
CENRID AND MORGAUSE ARE GETTING ~AWFULLY COSEY~ UP ON THE BALCONY THERE. GUH, THEY ARE MAKING SUCH SEX FACES AT EACH OTHER. I CAN'T EVEN DEAL AL;DKJD;LFKJA;FLJAL;GKJA;DLDJALJ
BACK IN CAMELOT, MERLIN IS REPORTING BACK TO ARTHUR.
MERLIN IS LOVING THE NEW, DELICIOUS SHIRT THAT ARTHUR IS WEARING. IA, MERLIN, IA.
MERLIN TELLS ARTHUR TO "SMELL IT" BECAUSE THATS THE ONLY WAY TO FIND OUT WHY ITS OF IMPORT.
LMFAO, ARTHUR, I DO NOT BLAME YOUR FACE RN AT ALL. LIKE SRSLY, WTF MERLIN. WE ALL KNOW YOU LOVE ARTHUR'S JIZZ ON THOSE CLOTHS YOU USE TO CLEAN HIM WITH, BUT ARTHUR DNW TO KNOW WHAT GWEN DOES WITH HERS!
AFTER SOME INSISTING THOUGH, ARTHUR TAKES A NICE BIG WHIFF.
ROFL, MERLIN'S FACE SAYS IT ALL. "WHAT. THE. SHIT!" SMELL =/= INHALE YOU SILLY PRINCE!
OF COURSE ARTHUR IS ADVERSELY AFFECTED BY THE DRUG ON THE CLOTH
BUT MERLIN IS ALWAYS THERE TO SAVE THE DAY WITH FUCKING MAGIC WTF ARE YOU SUICIDAL YOU STUPID FUCKING WIZARD?!?!?!
HE USES HIS FUCKING MAGIC OMG SEKRIT WHAT SEKRIT TO HELP ARTHUR FALL GRACELESSLY INTO A CHAIR
THANKFULLY ARTHUR IS TOO OUT OF IT TO NOTICE HIS MANSERVANTS SUICIDE MISSION
IDK IF THIS LOOK ON MERLIN'S FACE IS ONE OF RELIEF OR ADORKABLE LOVABLENESS AT HIS HUSBANDS' FACE. OH MERLIN SO SMITTEN ♥
LOL ARTHUR COMES ROUND WITH MERLIN TALKING ABOUT "HOGWARTS" AND "COMPOUNDS" AND IT ALL HURTS ARTHUR'S POOR BB HEAD. SMALL WORDS, MERLIN, SMALL WORDS.
MERLIN SPELLS IT OUT: W-O-M-A-N
LOL, THIS IS THE FACE OF SOMEONE HEARING THE PENNY DROP. FINALLY.
~IGNORE CENRID BEING A CREEPER TO GWEN~ NOT ALLOWED TO THINK SEXY THOUGHTS BETWEEN THEM - GWEN IS MALE-CELIBATE FOREVER AND EVER. *NODNOD*
OH, AND GWEN HAS TO BRING ARTHUR TO CENRID FOR ROYAL SEXING TIMES OR WATCH HER BROTHER DIE. HELLO PLOT OF THE WEEK :D *WAVES*
ARTHUR IS EXPLAINING TO HIS FATHER THAT GWEN HAS BE KIDNAPPED
LOL, UTHER'S REACTION: "AND?????" /UNCARING
XDDDDDDDDDDDD
OH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SOMETIMES UTHER.
AND ARTHUR GETS ALL INDIGNANT AND WANTS TO GO SEARCH FOR MORGANA'S GIRLFRIEND LIKE A GOOD BROTHER FRIEND.
UTHER JUST SAYS "KEEP DREAMING, DELUSIONAL. MY GUARDS ARE TOO BUSY PROTECTING MY KINGDOM, NOT SOME HUSSY SHARING MY DAUGHTER'S WARDS' BED.
NEXT MORNING, MORGANA IS LOOKING RATHER LOVERLY WHILE SLEEPING
AND WAKES TO THE SIGHT OF THE SUN SHINING WITH THE LIGHT OF HER ANGEL, GWEN 8D
WHEREIN SHE PROMPTLY BUMPS INTO MERLIN [AND FALLS TO THE FLOOR. OH HOW FUCKING FEMALE AND TYPICAL BULLSHIT]. MERLIN IS UBER HAPPY TO SEE HER
GWEN LOOKS KINDA FREAKED OUT THOUGH WHEN MERLIN SAID HE'S BEEN STALKING CREEPING LOOKING IN HER HOUSE FOR HER.
LOL, AND MERLIN REALLY ISN'T HELPING HIS CREEPER IMAGE HERE BY LOOKING DOWN AT HER HAND *IS IMPLICATING NOTHING*
WHICH IS COVERED IN KINKY ROPE BURNS.
OK, YOU HAVE FULL PERMISSION TO KILL MY BRAIN WITH FIRE NOW.
MERLIN TAKES GWEN HOME (OMFGOD PLEASE STOP ME)
BUT ONLY SO THEY CAN TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS. LMFAO, MERLIN HAS A GREAT LINE HERE:
"IT'S COMMON KNOWLEDGE THAT ARTHUR WOULD LAY DOWN HIS LIFE FOR ANY OF HIS SUBJECTS"
FUCKING SUCK ON THAT ARTHUR/GWEN SHIPPERS.
"HE COULD HAVE TAKEN ANYONE"
OH MERLIN YOUR FACE WHEN YOU SAY THIS, SO SERIOUS.
YOU TOTALLY KNOW THAT MERLIN IS ALL "I'M SO GLAD THEY DIDN'T TAKE ME, MY DELICATE WIFEY TENDENCIES DON'T DEAL WELL UNDER TORTURE"
MY SUSPICION AKA CANON AS TO WHY CENRID COULD USE GWEN AS LEVERAGE IS BECAUSE SHE HAS A BROTHER THAT HE CAN USE TO MAKE SURE GWEN DOES HER BEST TO TRAP CONVINCE HAVE ARTHUR DELIVERED TO CENRID, AS HE WANTS. MERLIN, ON THE OTHER HAND (WHOM ARTHUR LOVES WITH ALL HIS HEART) COULD JUST BLAST THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE AND THEN WE WOULDN'T HAVE AN EPISODE.
(OBVIOUSLY THIS MEANS I THINK SOME-FUCKING-ONE IN THAT GROUP MUST BE SUS OF MERLIN'S MAGIC, BECAUSE FUCKING SERIOUSLY, IT IS GETTING RIDICULOUS BY THIS POINT, SHOW).
MERLIN IS A GOOD FRIEND AND MAKES GWEN GO TO THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN HELP HER - ARTHUR. ARTHUR AND MERLIN THEN PROCEED TO HAVE AN EYE FUCKING CONVERSATION ABOUT WHAT CENRID'S PLAN MUST BE.
GUH! THE FUCKING WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER. LIKE NO ONE ELSE IS IN THE ROOM. *DED*
ALSO: MERLIN'S FINGERS ARE SO FUCKING PERFECT.
THEY HAVE A BIT MORE EYE FUCKING OVER MERLIN BEING ALL "THIS IS WHERE I JUST ROLL MY EYES AT YOU AND LOVE YOU DESPITE YOUR CONTINUED EFFORTS TO PUT ME IN HARMS WAY SO I CAN SAVE YOUR DOPEY SELF"
AND ARTHUR GETS THE FUCKING LIQUID SEX VOICE ON THAT MAKES EVERY SINGLE PERSON WEAK AT THE KNEES
MORGANA IS VOYEURISTIC-ING LISTENING AT THE DOOR AND LIKING IT QUITE A BIT TOO
MERLIN MENTIONS THE TRAP THING AND ARTHUR JUST MAKES THIS FUCKING FACE AND IS ALL "HO HO, JUST YOU WAIT AND SEE"
LULZ
MORGANA ONCE AGAIN LEAVES IN THE DARK OF NIGHT TO GO VISIT HER SISTER
WHO LOOKS VERY PLEASED TO SEE HER AND IMMEDIATELY BEGINS PLOTTING EVIL, DARK THINGS TO DO WITH HER SISTER.
MORGANA LIKES THE WAY YOU THINK, MORGAUSE ^^;
NEXT MORNING, ARTHUR AND MERLIN GO TOGETHER TO PAY UTHER A VISIT (LOL, MARRIAGE PROPOSAL)
WHERE ARTHER'S OPENING FUCKING LINE IS "IT'S SLIGHTLY AWKWARD" (LOL, STILL THINKING MARRIAGE PROPOSAL)
EVEN THOUGH FANDOM COLLECTIVELY JIZZED ALL OVER THEMSELVES, UTHER JUST CONTINUES ABOUT HIS SIGNINGS, BECAUSE HE IS A VERY BUSY MAN AND REALLY, ITS NOT THE FIRST TIME.
ITS NOT UNTIL ARTHUR SAYS "2 SILK DRESSES" THAT ARTHUR FINALLY HAS UTHER'S ATTENTION. OH YEA, MY MIND IS STILL THINKING "MARRIAGE PROPOSAL" AND OBVIOUSLY I HAD GOOD REASON.
ARTHUR THEN GOES ON TO EXPLAIN HIS "BET"
AND I'M REALLY NOT CONVINCED ARTHUR DOESN'T HAVE SOMETHING ELSE THAT HE WANTS TO SAY.
UTHER JUST LOLS WHEN ARTHUR SAYS UTHER'S FAVOURITE'S NAME: MORGANA
OH ARTHUR, YOU KNOW THAT MORGANA IS THE FAVOURITE BECAUSE UTHER'S MOSTLY SLEEPING WITH HER, DON'T LOOK SO SULLEN.
PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS ENTIRE TIME THAT MERLIN IS WATCHING ARTHUR WITH A LOOK OF REVERENCE ON HIS FACE THAT RIVALS EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING IN THIS LIFE. I'M JUST SAYING.
ARTHUR MUST NOTICE THIS LOOK BECAUSE HE GOES TO STAND BESIDE HIS WIFE TO IMPRESS UPON UTHER THAT THEY WILL ALWAYS BE A UNITED FRONT HE IS GOING TO BE TAKING HIS MANSERVANT WITH HIM, JSYK.
SO WITH THAT, UTHER PRETTY MUCH TELLS THEM TO GTFO AND BUY MORGANA HER SILK DRESSES. XD
MERLIN AND ARTHUR AVOID LOOKINNG AT EACH OTHER AS THEY LEAVE, BUT BOTH ARE WEARING IDENTICAL "HEHEHEHE WE'RE SO SNEAKY AT LYING" FACES. OMG BESTEST. ICKLE. GRIN. EVER.
MERLIN GOES TO PACK AND TELL GAIUS ABOUT HIS ~MORGANA WAS TEH EVIL ONE~ SUSPICIONS.
LOL MERLIN, MAN, YOU REALLY HAVE IT BAD. YOU SERIOUSLY GET THE MOST BESOTTED LOOK ON YOUR FACE WHENEVER YOU TALK ABOUT ARTHUR. IT'S SO CUTE ♥
GAIUS, IN TYPICAL GAIUS FASHION, HAS TO BE THE BAD NEWS DOUCHEHAT AND REMINDS MERLIN THAT ARTHUR CANNOT LET HIMSELF GET KILLED FOR THE SAKE OF SOMEONE HE'S NEVER MET, EVEN IF THEY ARE BROTHER TO HIS FUTURE BRIDE FRIENDS' RELATIVES.
(THEREFORE, GAIUS DOES NOT BELIEVE THIS SHIT ABOUT A/G, FYI CROWD)
LMFAO, MERLIN'S ALL "ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY?! OF COURSE I KNOW THAT! MY HUSBAND IS COMING BACK SAFE AND SOUND - I'D NEVER LET HIM GET HURT"
MERLIN: WE'RE GOING TO RESCUE EVERYBODY AND SAVE THE DAY, LIKE SUPERHEROES!
GAIUS'S FACE: ... o_O
ROFL, METHINKS GAIUS IS JUDGING THAT STATEMENT JUST A LITTLE BIT
BUT HE DOES SAY GOODBYE TO MERLIN IN A FATHERLY WAY (I.E. TELLING HIM TO LOOK AFTER HIMSELF), SO I GUESS THAT'S NICE.
OUTSIDE IN THE COURTYARD, MERLIN IS LOOKING VERY CONCENTRATORY AS HE STRAPS UP HIS LOVELY HORSE.
THEY ARE GOING ON A ~ROAD TRIP~ AND LOOK! GUESS WHO DECIDED TO SHOW UP.
MERLIN IS DEBATING WHETHER HE LIKES THIS OR NOT. ON THE ONE HAND, FREAKY HATE SEX IN THE WOODS. ON THE OTHER, SHE WANTS TO KILL YOU.
MORGANA JUST GIVES HIM HER BEST "I'M GOING TO EAT. YOU. UP" FACE AND MERLIN STILL DOESN'T KNOW IF SHE MEANS THAT IN A GOOD WAY OR NOT.
LOL, BUT MERLIN CHOSES TO TAKE THIS MOMENT TO GO ALL PROTECTIVE!WIFE ON ARTHUR AND GETS HIS SAD SRS FACE ON THAT ARTHUR DIDN'T TELL HIM \O/
ARTHUR JUST LIKE "WHATEVER, FREAKY SEX IN THE WOODS!! WIN/WIN, YES?!" LOL ARTHUR, SO BLINDED BY LOVE.
MERLIN'S JUST LIKE "... BUT I GAVE HER UP WHEN I HAD TO CHOSE BETWEEN YOU BOTH AND WE GOT MARRIED!" OH MERLIN. I KNOW, THE SACRIFICES YOU MAKE. AT LEAST YOU GET YOUR WOODLANDS THREESOME *PAT*PAT*
IN THE WOODS, ATRHUR IS TELLING A STORY OF HOW HE WAS AFRAID OF THEM AS A BOY AND THEN TELLS EVERYONE THEY DON'T NEED TO BE AFRAID BECAUSE "THEY HAVE HIM" (LOL HIS ARROGANCE THAT IS SOON HUMBLIFIED)
HE LOOKS AT MERLIN RIGHT AFTER HE SAYS THIS
AND MERLIN FEELS THAT GIDDY, HAPPY, FLOATY, WARM FEELING INSIDE
LULZ AND THERE IS SOME MORE SEXUAL TENSION IN THE FORM OF SRS STARES BETWEEN MERLIN AND MORGANA. AND GIGGLES FROM GWEN BECAUSE SHE'S OUT OF THE LOOP
AND THEN ARTHUR TRIES TO TELL MERLIN TO GO "FETCH FIREWOOD" (LMFAO, CODE FOR SEX IF I'VE EVER HEARD ONE"
BUT IT TAKES MERLIN A SECOND BECAUSE HE KNOWS FOR A FACT THAT *MORGANA* IS ALREADY ACTUALLY SEARCHING FOR FIREWOOD. LOL HIS REALISATION FACE.
ARGH AND THEN MERLIN GOES INTO THE WOODS AND FINDS MORGANA HOLDING A STACK OF PHALLIC OBJECTS AND HE LOOKS LIKE HE REALLY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO HERE.
SME: *HISSES* TAKE HER INTO YOUR ARMS AND FUCK HER AGAINST THE TREE!!! >:D
MORGANA TAKES THE TIME TO ACTUALLY BE PRODUCTIVE WHILE WAITING FOR MERLIN TO JUST GET IT ON ALREADY!
MERLIN DECIDES TO ENTER LECTURE MODE INSTEAD AND TELL MORGANA SHE IS LOVED BY EVERYONE, SO WHY IS SHE BEING LIKE THIS?
MORGANA IS ANNOYED BY THE LECTURE.
AND BITES BACK WITH "YOU JUST POISON YOUR FRIENDS INSTEAD".
FUCKING SCOURNED, MERLIN!
MORGANA MAKES THREATS BUT IT SEEMS MERLIN HAS FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO PLAY THIS GAME. HE APPROACHES MORGANA WITH THIS FUCKING LOOK ON HIS FACE AND PLENTY FIGHTING WORDS FOR PROTECTING ARTHUR.
MORGANA RESPONDS WITH MORE THREATS. THINGS ARE HEATING UP!
MERLIN CAN'T RESIST HER TOUCH HAS TO MAKE IT PERFECTLY CLEAR: LOVED YOU ONCE, TILL YOU BURNED ME. NOW I HAVE TO PROTECT ARTHUR, NO MATTER WHAT. I MADE MY CHOICE.
MORGANA: BRING. IT. ON.
MERLIN IS FEELING UNCOMFORTABLY AROUSED AFTER THAT.
... SOMEONE FUCKING KILL THOSE VIOLINS WITH FIRE! ARGH!
MERLIN AND MORGANA WALK BACK TO THE CAMP AND MORGANA SMIRKS AT HAVING INTERUPTED THE FUCKING VIOLINS.
MERLIN HESITATES FOR A SECOND, NOT QUITE SURE WHAT TO DO. LOL HIS ACTUAL LINE HERE THOUGH "I MAY HAVE MISSED A ... TWIG BACK THERE?" XDDD OH MERLIN, ILU AND YOUR SILLINESS.
ARTHUR JUST LOOKS AT MERLIN LIKE "SOMETIMES I DON'T KNOW WHY I LOVE YOU SO." XD
THEY SIT AROUND THE FIRE AFTER MERLIN'S WIFE INSTINCTS OBVIOUSLY MADE THEM DINNER
THEY DISCUSS TACTICS
MORGANA IS QUITE HAPPY TO LEARN ABOUT THEIR SNEAKY PLAN OF SNEAKERY
ARTHUR IS JUST TERRIBLY SMUG ABOUT THE WHOLE DEAL
AND MERLIN IS JUST ALL "OY VEY, THIS IS NOT GOING TO END WELL."
OF COURSE IT DOESN'T BECAUSE MORGANA IS HAVING A VERY UNSECRET MEETING WITH MORGAUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
WHO GIVES HER GIFTS OF JEALOUS WITH A MAGIC GPS INSTALLED
AFTERWARDS MORGANA GOES BACK TO THE CAMPFIRE AND PRETENDS SHE HASN'T BEEN TO VISIT HER LOVERGIRL~
BUT MERLIN IS TOTES ONTO YOU MORGANA!
NEXT MORNING MERLIN HAS TO SHOW OFF HIS STUPID TENDENCIES, OR HIS ABILITY TO STICK HIS NECK OUT AND PUT HIS FOOT IN IT, BECAUSE HE MAKES A FUCKING BLATANT COMMENT TO MORGANA THAT SAYS "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST NIGHT"
MORGANA IS JUST LIKE "DEAL WITH IT. BITCH."
LMFAO
THE TEAM MOVES ON TOGETHER~
MERLIN IS GETTING A LITTLE DESPERATE. SO HE USES MAGIC. IDIOT!
ON A MOTHERFUCKING SNAKE (IDIOT!)
THAT ATTACKS MOTHERFUCKING MORGANA AND KNOCKS HER OFF HER HORSE. AND MERLIN WAS THE FIRST ONE TO JUMP OFF HIS HORSE~ AWW, IF HE WAS LESS INCRIMINATING RIGHT HERE, I'D SAY THAT WAS SWEET IN A FUCKED UP WAY
BUT BECAUSE HE DOESN'T WANT MORGANA TO LEAD MORGAUSE STRAIGHT TO THEIR ORGY PARTY IN THE SEKRIT TUNNELS, HE URGES MORGANA TO STAY AND REST
MORGANA GETS PUSHY THOUGH AND IS ALL HBIC "FUCK OFF MERLIN"
THEY'RE SO FLAMING HOT THAT EVEN ARTHUR NOTICES SOMETHING IS UP (LMFAO, I'M SURPRISED HE DIDN'T ASK ABOUT THE SEXUAL TENSION MORGANA AND MERLIN HAVE RIGHT NOW).
BUT THEY ALL JUST CHOSE TO IGNORE IT FOR THE TIME BEING AND ~CARRY ON~
WITH MORGANA IN ARTHUR'S ARMS ;D
LMFAO, MORGAUSE'S BLIND TRUST IS MISPLACED WHEN SHE TELL CENRID IN THE NEXT SCENE THAT "MORGANA HAS NOT FAILED US YET". HAHA, GOOD THING SHE DOESN'T REMEMBER EPISODE 2. XD;
BUT WHO CARES, THEY ARE MAKING SEX EYES AT EACH OTHER AND ALL I WANT FOR THEM TO DO IS RAVISH EACH OTHER STUPID ON THE TABLE RIGHT NOW.
FUCKING OMG, EYES HALF-LIDDED WITH LUST AND ALL THOSE FANFIC CLICHES - RIGHT THERE PEOPLE! A;LGKJAD;LFGJAD;LJGAD;LGJF
DYING A DEAD DEATH.
SO IT TURNS OUT THIS CASTLE IS LOCATED NEAR THE BEACH OF MANY TROUBLES FOR ARTHUR AND MERLIN, SINCE ITS PRETTY MUCH THE EXACT SAME PLACE THE UNICORN EPISODE TOOK PLACE AT.
BEFORE THEY FINISH SCOUTING THOUGH, MERLIN TELLS ARTHUR OF HIS INSTINCTS. AND THAT HE WANTS TO KISS ARTHUR QUITE BADLY [FOR LUCK, OBVIOUSLY]. METHINKS ARTHUR WOULD OBLIGE.
AS A GROUP THEY "SNEAK" TOWARDS THE SEKRIT ENTRANCE
WHEREIN MERLIN (WITH ALL THIS PARANOIA) ALLOWS MORGANA TO STAY BEHIND LAST, WHO LOOKS AROUND KINDA SHADY LIKE
THEN PUTS THE GPS IN PLACE
WHICH PRETTY MUCH INSTANTLY STARTS SMOKING, AND YET NO ONE NOTICES. LOL, MEDIEVAL SMOKESCREEN~
THEY HAVE SOME RATHER CREEPY "TENSION BUILDING" MOMENTS WHERE GWEN GETS SCARED BY A SKELETON OF LULZ, MERLIN GETS SPIDER WEBS IN HIS FACE AND DEAD BODIES ARE JUST LYING EVERYWHERE. ARTHUR IS ALL SMILES AND A FLAMING TORCH.
ROFLMAO, NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT HE JUST "SHARED HIS FLAME" WITH MERLIN. YOU KNOW, JUST SAYIN'.
OF COURSE IT TURNS OUT THAT SOLDIERS ARE COMING DDD:
THEY STAND AND FIGHT
BUT OF COURSE GWEN IS THE FIRST ONE TO GET HERSELF NEARLY CUTTHROAT.
SO THEY ALL PACK IT IN AND COME QUIETLY.
CENRID WAS JUST ADMIRING THE VIEW WHILE LONGING IN HIS CHAIR
AS THEY ARE DEPOSITED IN FRONT OF CENRID IN THE MOST ROUGH WAY POSSIBLE
AND ARTHUR IS AT A PERFECT HEIGHT FOR WHAT I THINK IS ALWAYS ON CENRID'S OVERTLY PERVERTED MIND.
OF COURSE HE CANNOT RESIST LEERING AT THE BEAUTIFUL LADY MORGANA
WHO IS ALL "DO. NOT. EVEN. PIG!" OH BURN
THE BOYS GET THEIR TESTOSTERONE ON AND ARTHUR GOES NUTS WHEN CENRID SAYS TO LOCK EVERYONE UP. OH ARTHUR, YOU KNUCKLE HEAD ♥
CENRID RATES HIS PERFORMANCE AS A 10 OUT OF 10 AND BOWS TO HIS AUDIENCE OF ONE MS MORGAUSE
WHO LOOKS TO BE PRETTY FUCKING IMPRESSED, I THINK ITS SAFE TO SAY.
GWEN AND ELYAN HAVE A PRETTY LOL MOMENT IN THE CELL. OH BUT ITS ALL TO FORCE A/G OR SOMETHING AND I TUNED OUT.
MORGANA IS DRAGGED TO THE GREETING ROOM WHERE SHE IS GREETED BY HER SISTER.
CENRID JUST GRINS SHAMELESSLY AT HER AND MY GOD, CAN THIS GUY GET ANYMORE AWESOME?! SRSLY.
JESUS MORGAUSE, JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE PRACTICALLY MARRIED TO THE MAN, DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO FLAUNT HOW MUCH YOU LOVE SEX WITH HIM IN FRONT OF MORGANA. SHE'LL GET JEALOUS.
CENRID JUST LOOKS AT HER WITH A GAZE OF PURE SEX OF HIS OWN.
MERLIN AND ARTHUR ARE LOCKED IN A SEX CELL TOGETHER. OBVIOUSLY RECOVERING FROM A RECENT BOUT OF CELL SEX.
ARTHUR IS LOOKING RATHER SWELL AND HAPPY AND THINKING THINGY LIKE.
MERLIN JUST DOESN'T LIKE THE IDEA OF TORTURE. ESPECIALLY TO HIS PRECIOUS ARTHUR'S BEAUTIFUL BODY.
ARTHUR SAYS HE WILL NOT BE TORTUED THOUGH, AND MERLIN IS ALL LIKE "... IS THIS WHERE YOU CONSENT TO THE BONDAGE AND DOMINATRIX PLAY?"
LOL MERLIN, YOU'RE WANT IS SHOWING.
BUT ARTHUR JUST LOOKS AT MERLIN LIKE "ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY? ONLY WITH YOU BB"
NOW MERLIN IS CONFUSED.
ARTHUR SAYS THEY ARE GONNA BUST *OUTTA* THERE AND MERLIN DOES INDEED LIKE THIS IDEA :D
THERE IS A NICE SCENE BETWEEN GWEN AND HER BROTHER ABOUT WHY HE'S NEVER AROUND AND I THOUGHT THE WRITERS FILLED THAT HOLE RATHER WELL. GOOD FOR THEM. AND APPARENTLY THEY MAKE NICE TOO, SO YAY FOR WARM FUZZY FEELINGS.
BUT THEN, BACK TO THE IMPORTANT STUFF. MERLIN IS POUNDING ON THE DOOR AND SHOUTING TO GET THE GUARDS ATTENTION
HE ACTUALLY TELLS THEM THAT THE PRINCE HAS ESCAPED. OH DEAR.
THEY RUSH IN LIKE THE BAFOONS THEY ARE. MERLIN'S ALL "I DON'T KNOW WHERE - OH WAIT, THERE HE IS *LOOKS UP*"
AND LO AND BEHOLD, ARTHUR IS ON THE CEILING.
MERLIN, IN A MIRACLE OF FATE THAT DID NOT INVOLVE MAGIC, MANAGED TO BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF ONE OF THE GUARDS WITH HIS SWORD.
ARTHUR IS RATHER IMPRESSED AND TURNED ON BY IT
LOL, AFTER THAT SEX INDUCING DISPLAY OF MANLY DOMINEERING, ARTHUR AND MERLIN CHOSE TO SNEAK AROUND CORNERS ROFL
ARTHUR ASKS *MERLIN* IF HE HAS ANY IDEAS AND MERLIN'S SNEAKY EARS SAY "ONLY ONE"
AND HE PUSHES ARTHUR OUT INTO THE GUARDS LINE OF SIGHT. LMFAO OH SHOW, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THAR. MERLIN GETTING HIS REVENGE FOR 2X04, I SEE IT. XDD
SO THEY DUEL IT OUT
BUT ARTHUR GETS BACKED UP AGAINST A WALL D:
SO MERLIN MAGIC TO THE RESCUE!
BY ... MAKING HIS PANTS FALL DOWN. OH CHRIST, SO MANY GAY JOKES, SO LITTLE TIME.
LMFAO ARSE CHEEKS XDDD
ARTHUR TELLS MERLIN TO "GUARD ELYAN AND GWEN WITH HIS LIFE" BECAUSE HE ~BELIEVES~ IN MERLIN.
BUT MERLIN IMMEDIATELY VOICES HOW DANGEROUS RESCUING MORGANA IS AND THE *WORRY* IN HIS VOICE, OMFG. HEARTWRENCHING! \0/
AFTER ARTHUR RUNS OFF, MERLIN JUST TURNS TO GWEN AND ELYAN AND SAYS "I'M GOING AFTER HIM" IN THE MOST OMFGOD VOICE I'VE EVER HEARD. IT'S LIKE HE'S RESIGNED TO DEATH BUT HE'LL GO ANYWAY BECAUSE HE CAN'T BEAR TO LET HIS HUSBAND FACE IT ALONE. :O AND THE LOOK ON HIS FACE!! \O/
CENRID SEEMS TO BE RATHER HAPPY ABOUT ARTHUR ESCAPING, LOLWHUT.
MORGAUSE ASSURES MORGANA THAT ARTHUR IS GONNA DIE
AND CENRID GETS HIS PSYCHO MANIAC FACE ON AND DRAWS HIS SWORDS
MEANWHILE, ARTHUR IS LURKING BEHIND PILLARS AND SOMEHOW NOT MANAGING TO GET DISCOVERED.
AND ITS NOT UNTIL ARTHUR IS STANDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOOR GUARDS
AND SMIRKING WITH HIS FUCKING FACE
THAT THEY ACTUAL NOTICE AND TRY TO BEAT HIM. FAILING MISERABLY, OF COURSE.
ARTHUR BURSTS INTO THE ROOM HOLDING MORGANA
WHERE CENRID IS VERY DEFINITELY "HOLDING MORGANA CAPTIVE"
AND THEN MORGAUSE SLINKS OUT FROM THE SHADOWS
ARTHUR "SEEMS SURPRISED" BUT TRIES TO PRETEND HE'S NOT. I WONDER IF HE NOW REALISES SHE HAD EVIL INTENTIONS WHEN SHE LET HIM TALK WITH HIS MOTHER?
IN ANY CASE, SHE MAGICS A FIRE TORNADO
AND SENDS IT STRAIGHT FOR ARTHUR
THANKFULLY HOWEVER, MERLIN IS SNEAKING AROUND THE CORNER
AND PUTS A MAGIC STOP TO THIS FIRE TORNADO
RESULTING IN HALF THE ROOM BEING EXPLODED.
SOMEHOW ARTHUR IS THE FIRST TO WAKE AND GOES TO 'RESCUE MORGANA' OR SOMETHING
ONLY TO TURN AROUND AND FIND MERLIN THERE, AND HE'S RATHER ANNOYED BECAUSE HE THINKS HIS SILLY WIFE IS PUTTING HIMSELF IN UNNECESSARY DANGER (OH, LIKE YOU AREN'T ARTHUR).
SO THEY GET INTO A BIT OF A LOVERS TIFF BROUGHT ON BY THE STRESS OF THE SITUATION, BUT ITS ONLY BECAUSE THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO.
SO MERLIN TAKES MORGANA AND RUNS
BUT SHE ~CAN'T GO ON~ BECAUSE OF HER ANKLE (LOL, ONLY *NOW* GIVING YOU TROUBLE MORGANA?)
MERLIN IS ALSO SUS AT THIS BULLSHIT.
MORGANA RECKONS MERLIN "KNOWS NOTHING" (LOL TRUTH USUALLY) AND THEY FIGHT
TO SOLVE THE ISSUE, ARTHUR JUST PICKS HER UP AND CARRIES HER XDD
MERLIN IS VERY MUCH HAPPY ABOUT THIS AND IN LOVE WITH HIS HUSBAND'S GOOD SENSE
THEY MAKE IT TO THE HORSES
AND GWEN'S ALL "I DON'T HAVE TO DO WHAT YOU TELL ME TOO" LOL ILU GWEN. ARTHUR'S FAAAAAAAAAACE XDD
BUT THEN BAD HENCHMEN ARE CHASING THEM, SO THEY GOTTA FIGHT
APPARENTLY THIS MEANS THAT ELYAN CAN FIGHT TOO
ARTHUR IS RATHER IMPRESSED
AND MERLIN'S KNIGHT SWORDFIGHTING KINK SEEMS TO BE TWITCHING ITS HEAD.
LOL, AS THEY RIDE BACK TO CAMELOT TOGETHER, ARTHUR UNWITTINGLY TRIES TO GUILT TRIP MORGANA INTO HOW PERFECT THEIR COMPANIONSHIP IS XDD
MERLIN SEES ALL IN HIS WISDOM THOUGH, AND SEES WHAT YOU DID THAR WRITERS
AND SO ENDS THAT EPISODE. GOD, HOW FUCKING LONG DID IT TAKE ME TO GET THIS UP.
In all seriousness, please let me know if you want me to continue these. I'm woefully behind and I am sorry about that, but I don't think I'll get caught up properly anytime soon :(
EDIT: OKOK FORGET I MENTIONED ANYTHING ABOUT STOPPING. I WILL GET THE NEXT EPISODE UP ASAP (FINGERS CROSSED BEFORE THIS WEEKEND. AKA, FRIDAY NIGHT/SATURDAY MORNING ABOUT SIX HOURS BEFORE THE NEXT EPISODE IS GOING TO COME OUT XDD)