Author's Note: Pensieve Souls, Chapter 15
1) Originally there was a brief scene between Liseli and her landlady before Seginus and Matar's appearance. I took it out because it didn't add anything--it wasn't important for the sake of future plot points, introducing a new character, and it wasn't particularly funny, so it didn't really serve a purpose. If anybody's terribly curious, though, I've included it below:
Liseli had soon Apparated to an alleyway behind the building. In the lobby of the building, a Muggle wearing thick-framed glasses was talking with another Muggle, and the glasses-wearing Muggle gave Liseli scrutinizing glance; Liseli hoped it was because of her distinctly non-Muggle robes and not because she had been seen Apparating. She started walking up the flight of stairs towards her flat, when the glasses-wearing Muggle abruptly turned to her and said, “Are you the occupant of 26B?”
“Yes, why?” Liseli replied with a slight frown.
“I’m Mrs. Johnson, the new landlady,” the Muggle said briskly, pausing to wave goodbye to the Muggle she had been talking with before turning back to Liseli. “You haven’t paid last month’s rent yet, Ms. Colburn.”
“Yes, I have, I paid it through the mail,” Liseli said with a frown.
“I hope you’re not referring to those foreign coins you sent. I don’t know what country those were from, but I guarantee that’s not a full month’s worth of rent.”
Tempted to reply that the Wizarding coins she had sent were indeed a full month’s worth of rent, Liseli instead tried to recall what she knew about Muggle currency before replying, “You need the rent in those paper bills? Ounces?”
Mrs. Johnson gave her a baffled look. “What?”
“Er -- pounds?” Liseli hastily corrected herself.
“Yes, the rent needs to be paid in pounds,” she replied, directing a residually confused look at Liseli. “Get it to me soon, or else I’ll have to charge you a late fee.”
“I will, Mrs. Johnson,” Liseli replied, before continuing towards her flat. As Liseli had not been to her flat since the start of the school year, her old landlady could have retired anytime in the past few months, but it was nonetheless aggravating that she would now have to pay her rent in Muggle currency.
2) In the first draft of Pensieve Souls (One Day at a Time), Seginus and Matar had nearly identical personalities and were, if possible, even more dislikeable than in this version. I tried to scale back their aggression and sexism and give them more contrasting personalities, and I'm actually rather pleased with the result.
3) The part at the beginning of the chapter where Liseli think Seginus is about to draw so she draws and he disarms her, is intended to actually be a misunderstanding, showing just how mistrusting they are of each other.
4) The exchange where Liseli demands her wand back was initially slightly longer and included her grabbing for her wand before Seginus moved it out of her reach. It was supposed to hint back at Seginus's childhood bullying of Liseli (where, like present day, he was also bigger than her), but I decided having Liseli grab for her wand made her look a bit young, so I took it out.
5) I don't recall what Tracking Charm I intended Seginus and Matar to have used in this chapter. That is, whether it was supposed to be a standard Tracking Charm or whether it was a blood-based one (which allow you to track blood relatives more easily). Regardless, there'll be more about blood-based tracking charms in Chapter 29/30-ish.
6) There were a few places where I flip-flopped between two potential lines of dialogue to include, e.g.
She grabbed her wand before jerking her hand back in an exclamation of pain and letting her wand clatter to the floor. "What was that?" she angrily exclaimed towards Seginus.
"Looks like I forgot to mention the aftereffect of the disarming charm I used." Smirking, he added in an insincere tone, "Oops."
vs.
She grabbed her wand before jerking her hand back in an exclamation of pain and letting her wand clatter to the floor. "What was that?" she angrily exclaimed towards Seginus.
“Well, I was going to mention the after effect of the disarming charm I used, but then you insulted my ability to cast Tracking Spells, and I somehow found myself disinclined,” he said in a bored tone.
7) The reference to London being bombed by the Muggles in the 1940s is, probably obviously, supposed to be a reference to WWII.
8) While Seginus is supposed to be mean to Liseli and dislikeable, Liseli is not intended to be entirely blameless in why they have a bad relationship--as mentioned in this chapter, she used to tattle on him, and she's shown mildly provoking him even in the present day when she insults his ability to cast Tracking Spells.
9) As mentioned in the next chapter, one reason why Liseli and Seginus aren't particularly close is because of the age gap between them.
Cheers!
-Jem
P.S. As always, I'm curious if anyone reads my Livejournal posts, so if you have read this please comment, even if the entirety of your comment is literally "Purple Mountain Goats."