tonight your ghost will ask my ghost, who put these bodies between us?
im sorry, but i just dont see the point anymore. (its hard for me to face my own reflection, and the disappointment twisting pretty features, what a fucking waste.)
everything here, everything i thought i had in this pathetic life ive created, has died or gone, or in the process of going, away. its just as well im leaving, i suppose. its my own fault, i know. this isolation is the consequence of my own mistakes. so i figure id rather be alone somewhere else.
and what if i find no one there? what if im just as alone and miserable, without the comfort of all i know? i have no idea, ill cross that bridge when i come to it. right now i have a lil bit of a drinking problem, because this loneliness is right out of my nightmares. and my consumption of the herb is beyond comprehension, im sure. i have trouble justifying it to myself when i wake up in the morning with a torn and ragged throat and my next hit doesnt even get me high.
yes, i am angry and i am cruel, depressing and frustrating to the core. i find it hard to be a very caring person; i know youd understand. i try my best to make this into something; the glove dont fit the hand. i guess the best description would be: defeated. and very bitter.
its immature and dramatic, but the phrase that runs through my head constantly is, "no one gives a shit." and so everything else is rendered obsolete and insignificant.
the ironic thing is, i dont miss any one particular. its only when i watch tv, the mass media brainwashing market, that i start to despise myself because i am all alone. thats not normal, thats not lovable. i may realize the subliminal control of social conditioning, but its hard to deny the internalization of the american dream.
i cant wait to get away from the comfort of this boring drab existence. it may not be everything im expecting, but its got to be better.
everything here, everything i thought i had in this pathetic life ive created, has died or gone, or in the process of going, away. its just as well im leaving, i suppose. its my own fault, i know. this isolation is the consequence of my own mistakes. so i figure id rather be alone somewhere else.
and what if i find no one there? what if im just as alone and miserable, without the comfort of all i know? i have no idea, ill cross that bridge when i come to it. right now i have a lil bit of a drinking problem, because this loneliness is right out of my nightmares. and my consumption of the herb is beyond comprehension, im sure. i have trouble justifying it to myself when i wake up in the morning with a torn and ragged throat and my next hit doesnt even get me high.
yes, i am angry and i am cruel, depressing and frustrating to the core. i find it hard to be a very caring person; i know youd understand. i try my best to make this into something; the glove dont fit the hand. i guess the best description would be: defeated. and very bitter.
its immature and dramatic, but the phrase that runs through my head constantly is, "no one gives a shit." and so everything else is rendered obsolete and insignificant.
the ironic thing is, i dont miss any one particular. its only when i watch tv, the mass media brainwashing market, that i start to despise myself because i am all alone. thats not normal, thats not lovable. i may realize the subliminal control of social conditioning, but its hard to deny the internalization of the american dream.
i cant wait to get away from the comfort of this boring drab existence. it may not be everything im expecting, but its got to be better.