portrait d'une femme

[foxfireash]

my mom hacked into my email account. i dont care if shes concerned about me or doesnt trust me to take care of all this stuff on my own, but thats just going too far. she already smothers me far too much, with her obsessive calling and her big nose all up in my business. the interrogations and nagging and guilt trips, its driving me insane. i dont look like her, i do take that as an insult. i dont want the family hopes of breeding pinned on me. im tired of her living vicariously through me and my hair. ill get to it, dammit. in my fucking time.

all this shit is driving me insane. every reasons a reason to complain.

my car has taken a nosedive into suckiness. my dad suggests they just trade it in and i can drive his truck for the remainder of the summer. just another dead thing, fate is pushing me to leave.

i should probly feel bad about myself because ive pushed everyone away. i cant even talk to my parents anymore. im a horrible person and all of my past mistakes gnaw on my spine, sometimes its hard to walk through the routine. the promise of escape is just as threatening to my peace of mind. i hate solitude, just another contradiction to tack onto my actions.

im so glad that im an island now....
sickness was fixing me some
coughed out my heart in the last stall
now that the damage is done
i never miss it at all