I Like Ginger Ale
I want to spill my heart onto something. There are times when everything is meaningless and unimportant but this is not those times. I feel tired, not because I have done too much, but because I have done nothing. My desk is bare. I've put everything away. It feels like I have no dreams.
I will ask my parents for their help. I do not want to play games any longer. I want to read something, anything. But I know that if I try, I will sink back into abject frustration at the inability of other people to find something utterly true. I just hate words now. No one says anything important. But it only feels this way because when I really try, I cease to care about life. I can only do things in the periphery, without meaning to, as if I could only paint in dreams.
I feel really lonely. I just want someone. It is so early, but I have no one to eat with. I eat large portions alone. I eat at odd hours and without celebration. But really, there is no food in the world that I can imagine enjoying right now. Just because I have eaten so much, and without joy. All I want is water onto eternity.
In my dreamless state, the world is disconnected. None of our actions lead to anything because it is impossible for two people to meet randomly for the sake of each other. People don't want that. People don't know what they want. I don't know why I am still sitting here. When I wake up later, what will I do? How long until I have to eat again? When will I accomplish something? Do I have anything in me?
I will ask my parents for their help. I do not want to play games any longer. I want to read something, anything. But I know that if I try, I will sink back into abject frustration at the inability of other people to find something utterly true. I just hate words now. No one says anything important. But it only feels this way because when I really try, I cease to care about life. I can only do things in the periphery, without meaning to, as if I could only paint in dreams.
I feel really lonely. I just want someone. It is so early, but I have no one to eat with. I eat large portions alone. I eat at odd hours and without celebration. But really, there is no food in the world that I can imagine enjoying right now. Just because I have eaten so much, and without joy. All I want is water onto eternity.
In my dreamless state, the world is disconnected. None of our actions lead to anything because it is impossible for two people to meet randomly for the sake of each other. People don't want that. People don't know what they want. I don't know why I am still sitting here. When I wake up later, what will I do? How long until I have to eat again? When will I accomplish something? Do I have anything in me?