ooooh
so, I might be making a big mistake. I dont know. then again, I might be doing the best thing for me to do. I dont know. fuck man, I just dont know!
I dont know anything, and thinking and thinking and thinking doesnt help me at all. there was a short time in highschool when I thought that my overthinking of everything actually helped. either I think worse now or I was wrong then.
what if I drop out of college, and then find out that I cant go to another college and then realize that my entire life i will always be a failure because I couldnt handle the midwest? I mean, yeah, thats probably insanely drastic, but it could happen.
I'm starting to question all the things that everyone else questioned in me when I first thought of this idea. am I a quitter? do I give up to easily? am I a flake?
then again, am I just so worried about this because other people planted the seeds of doubt in my head? I dont know. but every time I see that commercial for that horrible basketball movie that is basically just another remember the titans but for basketball, and josh lucas says that line that is something like, "if you quit now, you quit every day for the rest of your life," I want to scream. although, maybe thats because THEY ALREADY MADE REMEMBER THE TITANS, and it wanst that good the first time.
maybe if I dont do this then I'm really quitting. I mean, it would be easier to just stay at kalamazoo. I wouldnt have to make so many phone calls, I wouldnt have to go to community college, I wouldnt have to try to figure out how to put my entire dorm room plus conor entire dorm room into my tiny car, I wouldnt have to figure out how to quit college. so I am clearly taking the more difficult road here. god damn it, why is everything so fucking hard for me?
I dont know anything, and thinking and thinking and thinking doesnt help me at all. there was a short time in highschool when I thought that my overthinking of everything actually helped. either I think worse now or I was wrong then.
what if I drop out of college, and then find out that I cant go to another college and then realize that my entire life i will always be a failure because I couldnt handle the midwest? I mean, yeah, thats probably insanely drastic, but it could happen.
I'm starting to question all the things that everyone else questioned in me when I first thought of this idea. am I a quitter? do I give up to easily? am I a flake?
then again, am I just so worried about this because other people planted the seeds of doubt in my head? I dont know. but every time I see that commercial for that horrible basketball movie that is basically just another remember the titans but for basketball, and josh lucas says that line that is something like, "if you quit now, you quit every day for the rest of your life," I want to scream. although, maybe thats because THEY ALREADY MADE REMEMBER THE TITANS, and it wanst that good the first time.
maybe if I dont do this then I'm really quitting. I mean, it would be easier to just stay at kalamazoo. I wouldnt have to make so many phone calls, I wouldnt have to go to community college, I wouldnt have to try to figure out how to put my entire dorm room plus conor entire dorm room into my tiny car, I wouldnt have to figure out how to quit college. so I am clearly taking the more difficult road here. god damn it, why is everything so fucking hard for me?