Fanfiction - Naruto - Untitled Challenge
^__^ Still going~ though I couldn't think of a title this time. I do hope you all enjoy!
The prompt - "I acually thought of one! Kakashi tries to court/woo Iruka, but he's so socially inept that Iruka thinks he's psychotic and is terrified of him (until the end, of course). ^__^ -honzeldafitz" I can't in good conscience post this without recommending 'The Sixth Dodge' and 'The Kakashi Mission' by JBMcDragon. Spot on to the request, though I don't have the links, they are really awesome stories!
Author: Lily Kalanoa
Story: Untitled
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my laptop, which put me into significant debt. All characters and series belong to their respective creators, I just like to torture them, heh heh.
And this is the link if anyone else out there wants a request.
-o-o-o-o-o-
Kotetsu stopped in the doorway, blinked twice, and promptly turned around. “I’m not sure you want to go in there right now.”
Behind him, Iruka just shook his head. “We have to get to work.” He reached around his friend for the door, but Kotetsu shifted to block him again. Iruka’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “We’re already late, stop messing around.” The teacher shifted to Kotetsu’s other side and opened the door again, stepping inside.
And froze.
“Told you,” Kotetsu sing-songed and stepped past the other man to approach what appeared to be the mission desk. There was a large bouquet centered on the piece of furniture, overwhelmingly white with a single dab of red in the center; roses. And scattered around the bouquet were individual carnations in varying shades of red, all topped off with a card bearing Iruka’s name in flowing script. Kotetsu had wandered to the desk and was fingering the paper, which had nothing else written on it. “Looks like you have a secret admirer, ‘Ruka.”
The teacher was still frozen in the doorway. “That or a very abstract enemy.”
“How do you mean?”
Iruka shook his head, still not entering the room. “In some circles in the west, the carnation is the flower of death. And a single crimson rose in a cluster of white is considered a death bouquet. If you dream about that supposedly you’ll die soon . . . I’m not dreaming, am I?”
Kotetsu had finally walked back to him and gave the teacher’s arm a firm pinch. When the brunette reacted with a sharp ‘ow’ he smiled. “Nope, seem to be awake.” Iruka glared, rubbing his arm, but said nothing as he took the stack of papers Kotetsu pushed into his hands. “Why don’t you take these to the Hokage and I’ll get this cleaned up by the time you get back.”
The teacher nodded and crinkled his nose. “Thanks, I won’t be too long.”
-o-o-o-o-o-
Kakashi strolled non-chalatnly through town, sort of veering into the flower shop almost as if by accident. There was a minute before Ino’s voice floated to his ears; “Do you need something, Sensei?”
The masked man finally closed his book, tucking it away in his pouch and looking around as if surprised to find himself there. “I need some flowers,” he finally muttered.
For a long minute, Ino continued to stare blankly at him. “Didn’t you just buy two bouquets for Mika-chan this morning?”
Kakashi nodded, idly browsing the colorful flowers in the shop. “Well you see, as I was on my way to deliver them, this fish swam up to me. Didn’t say a word, but dove into the roses and flopped around a bit before swimming off again. Not two seconds later this cat comes up to me and demands to know where his dinner went. When I told him to start looking for rose-scented-goldfish, he cursed at me and ate the carnations. So, you see, I need new flowers.”
Ino was silent for even longer this time before finally gesturing at the flowers. “I guess pick out whatever you want.”
“I need to know what they mean.”
Ino blinked stupidly. “Um, well, if it’s for another ninja you might try azaleas; they ask the receiver to take care of themselves. Or violets are good when first asking someone out, sort of the let’s take a chance on love flower.” Kakashi continued browsing as if he hadn’t heard the girl. “Okay then, how about camellias? Depending on color, they stand for admiration, longing, or good luck. Roses of course, red for passion, pink for happiness, we have some thornless, those stand for eternal love, or love at first sight.”
Kakashi glanced at the girl finally and eyed the roses beside her, but looked away again without taking them. Ino sighed loudly. “All right, fine. Why not go with tulips? Every color means something different, from ‘you’re smile is sunny’ to a declaration of love, luck, fame. If you give a tulip, you’re saying that you or she would be a perfect lover.”
Kakashi looked at her again, somewhat more interested. Ino just sighed again and began pulling the flowers out, making them ready for sale. “How many do you want?”
-o-o-o-o-o-
“So, ‘Ruka, you wanna head out tonight?”
The teacher shook his head, sniffing slightly. “I can’t. I’m headed home for lesson planning and-“
Raidou slung an arm across the man’s shoulders. “Come on! It’s Saturday evening, you can’t waste it working. One drink.”
“And then I’m going back to the mission desk to get caught up on back work. Sorry Raidou, but ‘one drink’ means at least five and I promised myself I’d devote tonight to work.”
“All night?”
Iruka gave a look that said he couldn’t be persuaded. “I’ve been putting off reports for almost a month. It’s going to take hours and if I don’t do them tonight, it’ll be another month before I get them done and it’ll take twice as long.”
They’d reached the man’s appartment and Raidou raised his hands in defeat. “All right, all right. Next time.”
Iruka smiled and headed up his stairs. “Next time.” He hesitated long enough to through a glance over his shoulder.
“What’s up?” Raidou wondered, also looking out into the gathering dusk.
Iruka just shook his head. “Nothing. I keep feeling like I’m being watched, but you would’ve noticed something, right?” Raidou just shrugged and Iruka entered his building.
-o-o-o-o-o-
“Dear gods, what happened to you!” Iruka lifted his head from the wad of kleenex in his hands, glaring breifly at Izumo.
Kotetsu’s eyes were just as wide as his partner’s. “You were fine-“ A rather violent sneeze from the teacher cut him off and he paused before starting again. “You were fine this morning. Don’t tell me the roses . . .”
“No.” Iruka’s voice was horribly congested, coming out very nasal. “But the ‘weird death threat’ theory is gaining more ground.”
Izumo looked between the other two, distinctly confused. “Roses? Death-threat?”
Kotetsu just waved him off, motioning for Iruka to continue. The teacher sneezed, opened his mouth, sneezed again, then looked back at the two men. “There were tulips in my apartment.”
Kotetsu and Izumo both gaped like landed fish. “Tulips!?”
“Shit man, maybe someone is trying to kill you.”
“And I don’t mean there were tulips in my apartment. I mean my bed, my kitchen counter, my sofa, and my table were covered in tulips. Covered!”
Izumo was now digging through the drawers of the break room and pulled out a packet of pink and white pills. “Here,” he said, thrusting the pills toward Iruka. “We don’t need you going anaphylactic or anything.”
“They were tulips, not almonds. I won’t die from my flower alergy.” Iruka sneezed again, gingerly holding his head when he finally came up for air. “Besides, if I take any more I might OD. This is me after half a dozen anti-histamines.”
Kotetsu was hovering beside the teacher, unsure how to help. “What did you do with the flowers?” Iruka shook his head, throwing up one hand while he sneezed three more times into his kleenex. Kotetsu looked at his partner and patted Iruka’s shoulder assuringly. “Look, why don’t you stay here and relax for a while. We can spare some time to go make your apartment livable again, okay?”
Iruka nodded miserably, fishing out his keys and holding them out to his friends. “I’ll be in records, fi-achoo! Ugh, filing.” Iruka clutched at his head some more and shuffled out of the break room.
The file room was large and quiet, only minimally lit and covered in a very fine layer of dust. It appealed to the librarian in Iruka’s soul and stored files almost smelled the same as rows upon rows of well-read books. There was a small table - several actually, but Iruka had long ago claimed one as his own - where he kept all his files and work to be done. It was near the back of the room, with a lamp he’d brought from home, currently cleaned of dust and completely empty.
Iruka looked around frantically. His files, nearly a month of back mission reports should have been sitting right here! Seeing the complete and utter lack of any papers anywhere near his table, Iruka began scanning nearby shelves in a panic.
“So where do you wanna go tonight?”
The teacher yelped and spun to find Kakashi standing behind him in what he could have sworn was unoccupied space. He stuttered a bit, more than slightly surprised, and fetched up against one of the shelves full of papers. After a moment with nothing else from the other man, Iruka blinked and found his voice. “I-I’m sorry, what?”
Kakashi’s head tilted to one side. “Drinks. Where do you want to go?”
“Nowhere!” Iruka practically yelled, recovering from the shock at last. “I have work to do. I have to figure out-“
“But all of your reports have been filed already, you’re all caught up!” The cheerful tone of the man’s voice made Iruka pause again. “That’s why you couldn’t go out with Raidou tonight, right? But now they’re done, so where do you want to go?”
It was too much; information overload, and for a good minute Iruka just stood there, staring at the masked man. Then, in less than a second, his brain went from numb with shock, to racing as things clicked into place. “You’ve been following me!” The other man didn’t even deny it, just shrugging slightly.
Iruka was about to yell some more, but Kakashi spoke first. “Ah, on that note, what exactly are you allergic to, anyway?” Iruka blinked, realizing he actually hadn’t been sneezing since the discovery of his missing files. The new mention reminded him, though, and he again buried his nose in tissue. Behind his mask, Kakashi frowned. “Yeah. It didn’t mention any allergies in your file.”
“File!? You-“
“Shows great promise with simple jutsu and a vast chakra supply, but seems to struggle with higher techniques. Average fighting ability, but exceptional memorizing skills,” he recited. “Doesn’t mention a thing about allergies.”
Iruka continued to gape. That sounded like one of the files he filled out for students. “You’ve read . . . you memorized my school file!?”
“It’s not just for school, there’s a lot of info from your genin career, and fantastic recommendations for your promotion to Sensei.” In his mind, Iruka began going over the layout of the files room. Crap! Why did he have to favor a desk in the very back? And he was still sneezing every few seconds. “So . . .allergies?”
Keep him talking, that was the key. Distract him so he could excape. “I’m allergic to flowers, especially roses, tulips, and gardenias. And some nuts.” He began edging along the shelves. If he could get to a separate row, he might stand a chance of outrunning him.
Kakashi nodded. “I guess that does put a stop to Gai’s approach.”
“K-Kakashi, look. I really have to do some work-“
“No, it’s finished. That was Anko’s idea. So where should we go?”
Another sneeze. And that was what triggered it; the sneezing. On top of everything else, he couldn’t stop sneezing. “No! I’m not going out with you tonight, Kakashi! Now I have to find every file you touched and dig them back out, go over them to make sure you didn’t do anything, refile-“
“Come on, Iruka. This is last stage filing, anything that needed to be flagged already was. And they were all jounin missions, I would have heard if something had been anything but ordinary.” Iruka was still edging away and Kakashi sidestepped lazily, blocking his only hope of retreat. “If you’re really worried about it, I’ll dig them back out for you, okay? We can go get some sake and some dinner, bring it back here-“
Iruka ran.
It wasn’t graceful, it wasn’t tricky, but it was fast. If he could just get back to the break room, he reasoned . . . surely three elite chuunin could waylay one clearly psychotic jounin - shit! Except Izumo and Kotetsu were at his apartment, cleaning out the flowers so he could breathe when he got home -
And his escape wasn’t working. Iruka rounded a corner and had to grab at the shelves to keep from running right into a slim, muscled chest. Iruka retreated a little, flattening once more against the shelves as Kakashi slowly advanced.
The silver haired man heaved a sigh. “So Gai’s idea of flowers failed. Twice. And so did Anko’s ‘help him at work’ plan. Ganma recommended the dinner-date, but it doesn’t seem to be working either. All that leaves me with is Jiraiya’s methods.”
Oh gods, oh gods. The others wouldn’t be back at the missions desk yet, and even if they were, they might not here him from the bowels of the file room. This late at night there was no one else in the tower that would hear him if he screamed. He was going to be raped by Sharingan Kakashi and he couldn’t do anything about it!
One of Kakashi’s hands closed around one of Iruka’s wrists, firmly pinning him in place. His other hand pressed against Iruka’s chest, almost as if he was feeling up a girl. Then his face was close, lips pressing against Iruka’s own unresponsive lips . . . and he was still wearing his mask. A moment later Kakashi pulled away, single visible eye gazing expectantly at Iruka. They both stood that way, nothing happening, neither moving, for several seconds. Then Kakashi pulled slightly further away, releasing the trapped teacher. “You’re supposed to swoon.”
Iruka still didn’t move, staring wide eyed at Kakashi. The masked ninja took another step back. “I did everything right . . .” He fished into his pouch, pulling out the bright orange book and flipping through several pages. Iruka could feel his legs giving out and he allowed himself to sink to the floor. Kakashi looked back at him, face bright for a second before turning dark. “No, that doesn’t look right . . .” and he returned to flipping through pages.
For another minute, the two of them didn’t move. Then Iruka could hear footsteps, two sets, and he began to breathe properly again. Izumo stuck his head in first, quickly wandering the barren rows to find Iruka. “Flowers are taken care of, man. And you weren’t kidding when you said - holy- the hell is going on here!”
Kotetsu rounded the corner in a flash, hands already in seals, ready for an unexpected fight. He faltered a moment, seeing only Kakashi reading his porn, but the look on Iruka’s face was enough for both chunin to intervene. In a flash, the two were beside Iruka, Izumo kneeling beside the teacher while Kotetsu kept on guard, watching Kakashi.
For his part, Kakashi looked completely disinterested. He took another step away and leaned against the shelves behind him, nose still burried in his book. He didn’t twitch as Izumo helped Iruka to his feet, didn’t glance at any of them while they steered the stunned man towards the door, did nothing as they got into the hallway and hurried out of the tower.
-o-o-o-o-o-
Two days had passed and Iruka was just getting out after class. Despite agreements from everyone he asked that he qualified for poast-traumatic-mission leave, he hadn’t actually been able to get out of teaching Konoha’s mini-nin. The children had left almost an hour ago and Iruka had finally finished and was ready to go home at last. He gathered his things, left the building, and promptly flattened himself against the closed door and dropped everything he was carrying as he looked up to see Kakashi waiting for him just outside.
He was holding ice cream.
Iruka stared at him, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, waiting for some sort of explanation. After a moment with no response, Kakashi slowly pulled his arm back. “I just thought, since nothing else seemed to work . . . I asked Konohamaru and he said he would give ice cream to someone he liked. Would . . . you have prefered ramen? That’s what Naruto recommended.”
A startled laugh escaped the teacher’s throat as the final bits of the puzzle clicked into place. ‘Someone he liked’ . . . “That’s what . . . what all this has been about?” He really had thought Kakashi had lost his mind. “And you’ve been asking everyone . . . what about you, Kakashi? What would you do for someone you liked?”
“I don’t know,” he stated plainly. “That’s why I asked my friends. And my books . . . and little kids . . .”
No longer terrified for his life, Iruka suddenly found all of this quite hilarious and was barely able to contain his giggles. “Well what would you want yourself?” he asked in amazement. “If someone liked you, what would you hope they gave you?”
For a long time the man stood there, completely unmoving, as if he didn’t understand the question. His eyes - eye - darted down, then to the side, then back to Iruka’s face and away again. Finally he shook his head, aparently stumped. “I’d just want to be with them?” he asked, as if to see if he’d gotten it right.
Iruka nodded a little in encouragement. “Okay. Now remember that we’re both guys. Did you mention that to anyone you asked for advice?” Kakashi shook his head slowly and Iruka sighed. “That would explain the flowers, guys don’t usually get flowers as a present. So what kind of present do you think you would want?”
Again Kakashi just shook his head, baffled. “I guess . . . a kiss?”
Which, if the incident in the file room was anything to go by, always led directly to swooning and sex in Jiraiya’s aweful books. But Iruka had a feeling it was the kiss itself, not anything it led to, that intrigued Kakashi. He closed his eyes for a moment and nodded, small smile painting his lips. He stepped forward, forcing Kakashi to retreat to the wall. One hand rested against the man’s hip while the other brushed along his jaw, sweeping away the mask and uncovering startlingly pale lips.
As an afterthought, Iruka brushed aside the forehead protecter as well, smile growing at the totally stunned, lost look on the other man’s face. He leaned in, just brushing lips together, then kissed him with more force. There was a plop noise as Kakashi dropped the ice cream and his hands settled hesitantly against Iruka’s shoulders. The teacher sweapt his tongue along Kakashi’s lower lip and slipped inside when the man’s mouth fell open. He pressed their entire bodies together, sharing heat and simply enjoying the contact, hands drifting slightly to play along sensitive areas.
He pulled away after a minute, gaze misty as he studied Kakashi’s reaction. The pale man was panting, mouth open still, bright red flush standing out on pale cheeckbones. The sharingan was spinning wildly, but his normal eye seemed rather out of focus. Iruka just grinned. “That is how you make someone swoon.”
He stepped away, kneeling to gather his scattered things, including the quizzes that had gotten ice cream on them. When he stood again, ready to continue his interrupted trip home, he looked at Kakashi once more. The man was still blushing, though he was clearly more alert, still rooted to the spot as if unsure. Iruka smiled at him and waited; he took a few steps to show he was ready to leave, but didn’t abandon the other.
“I-Iruka-sensei,” Kakashi stuttered out after a moment. “Would you, maybe, like some dinner? I can, uh, I can make something . . . or take you somewhere . . .”
Well who knew? Once he stopped trying to jump into the deep end, the infamous Copy Ninja could actually ask someone out almost like a normal person. “You cook?” Iruka asked sweetly. “I’d love a home-cooked meal.”
Kakashi nodded, smile gracing his features before he hid them again behind cloth. And then he was leading the other down the street, already planning the meal aloud.
The prompt - "I acually thought of one! Kakashi tries to court/woo Iruka, but he's so socially inept that Iruka thinks he's psychotic and is terrified of him (until the end, of course). ^__^ -honzeldafitz" I can't in good conscience post this without recommending 'The Sixth Dodge' and 'The Kakashi Mission' by JBMcDragon. Spot on to the request, though I don't have the links, they are really awesome stories!
Author: Lily Kalanoa
Story: Untitled
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I own nothing but my laptop, which put me into significant debt. All characters and series belong to their respective creators, I just like to torture them, heh heh.
And this is the link if anyone else out there wants a request.
-o-o-o-o-o-
Kotetsu stopped in the doorway, blinked twice, and promptly turned around. “I’m not sure you want to go in there right now.”
Behind him, Iruka just shook his head. “We have to get to work.” He reached around his friend for the door, but Kotetsu shifted to block him again. Iruka’s eyes narrowed dangerously. “We’re already late, stop messing around.” The teacher shifted to Kotetsu’s other side and opened the door again, stepping inside.
And froze.
“Told you,” Kotetsu sing-songed and stepped past the other man to approach what appeared to be the mission desk. There was a large bouquet centered on the piece of furniture, overwhelmingly white with a single dab of red in the center; roses. And scattered around the bouquet were individual carnations in varying shades of red, all topped off with a card bearing Iruka’s name in flowing script. Kotetsu had wandered to the desk and was fingering the paper, which had nothing else written on it. “Looks like you have a secret admirer, ‘Ruka.”
The teacher was still frozen in the doorway. “That or a very abstract enemy.”
“How do you mean?”
Iruka shook his head, still not entering the room. “In some circles in the west, the carnation is the flower of death. And a single crimson rose in a cluster of white is considered a death bouquet. If you dream about that supposedly you’ll die soon . . . I’m not dreaming, am I?”
Kotetsu had finally walked back to him and gave the teacher’s arm a firm pinch. When the brunette reacted with a sharp ‘ow’ he smiled. “Nope, seem to be awake.” Iruka glared, rubbing his arm, but said nothing as he took the stack of papers Kotetsu pushed into his hands. “Why don’t you take these to the Hokage and I’ll get this cleaned up by the time you get back.”
The teacher nodded and crinkled his nose. “Thanks, I won’t be too long.”
-o-o-o-o-o-
Kakashi strolled non-chalatnly through town, sort of veering into the flower shop almost as if by accident. There was a minute before Ino’s voice floated to his ears; “Do you need something, Sensei?”
The masked man finally closed his book, tucking it away in his pouch and looking around as if surprised to find himself there. “I need some flowers,” he finally muttered.
For a long minute, Ino continued to stare blankly at him. “Didn’t you just buy two bouquets for Mika-chan this morning?”
Kakashi nodded, idly browsing the colorful flowers in the shop. “Well you see, as I was on my way to deliver them, this fish swam up to me. Didn’t say a word, but dove into the roses and flopped around a bit before swimming off again. Not two seconds later this cat comes up to me and demands to know where his dinner went. When I told him to start looking for rose-scented-goldfish, he cursed at me and ate the carnations. So, you see, I need new flowers.”
Ino was silent for even longer this time before finally gesturing at the flowers. “I guess pick out whatever you want.”
“I need to know what they mean.”
Ino blinked stupidly. “Um, well, if it’s for another ninja you might try azaleas; they ask the receiver to take care of themselves. Or violets are good when first asking someone out, sort of the let’s take a chance on love flower.” Kakashi continued browsing as if he hadn’t heard the girl. “Okay then, how about camellias? Depending on color, they stand for admiration, longing, or good luck. Roses of course, red for passion, pink for happiness, we have some thornless, those stand for eternal love, or love at first sight.”
Kakashi glanced at the girl finally and eyed the roses beside her, but looked away again without taking them. Ino sighed loudly. “All right, fine. Why not go with tulips? Every color means something different, from ‘you’re smile is sunny’ to a declaration of love, luck, fame. If you give a tulip, you’re saying that you or she would be a perfect lover.”
Kakashi looked at her again, somewhat more interested. Ino just sighed again and began pulling the flowers out, making them ready for sale. “How many do you want?”
-o-o-o-o-o-
“So, ‘Ruka, you wanna head out tonight?”
The teacher shook his head, sniffing slightly. “I can’t. I’m headed home for lesson planning and-“
Raidou slung an arm across the man’s shoulders. “Come on! It’s Saturday evening, you can’t waste it working. One drink.”
“And then I’m going back to the mission desk to get caught up on back work. Sorry Raidou, but ‘one drink’ means at least five and I promised myself I’d devote tonight to work.”
“All night?”
Iruka gave a look that said he couldn’t be persuaded. “I’ve been putting off reports for almost a month. It’s going to take hours and if I don’t do them tonight, it’ll be another month before I get them done and it’ll take twice as long.”
They’d reached the man’s appartment and Raidou raised his hands in defeat. “All right, all right. Next time.”
Iruka smiled and headed up his stairs. “Next time.” He hesitated long enough to through a glance over his shoulder.
“What’s up?” Raidou wondered, also looking out into the gathering dusk.
Iruka just shook his head. “Nothing. I keep feeling like I’m being watched, but you would’ve noticed something, right?” Raidou just shrugged and Iruka entered his building.
-o-o-o-o-o-
“Dear gods, what happened to you!” Iruka lifted his head from the wad of kleenex in his hands, glaring breifly at Izumo.
Kotetsu’s eyes were just as wide as his partner’s. “You were fine-“ A rather violent sneeze from the teacher cut him off and he paused before starting again. “You were fine this morning. Don’t tell me the roses . . .”
“No.” Iruka’s voice was horribly congested, coming out very nasal. “But the ‘weird death threat’ theory is gaining more ground.”
Izumo looked between the other two, distinctly confused. “Roses? Death-threat?”
Kotetsu just waved him off, motioning for Iruka to continue. The teacher sneezed, opened his mouth, sneezed again, then looked back at the two men. “There were tulips in my apartment.”
Kotetsu and Izumo both gaped like landed fish. “Tulips!?”
“Shit man, maybe someone is trying to kill you.”
“And I don’t mean there were tulips in my apartment. I mean my bed, my kitchen counter, my sofa, and my table were covered in tulips. Covered!”
Izumo was now digging through the drawers of the break room and pulled out a packet of pink and white pills. “Here,” he said, thrusting the pills toward Iruka. “We don’t need you going anaphylactic or anything.”
“They were tulips, not almonds. I won’t die from my flower alergy.” Iruka sneezed again, gingerly holding his head when he finally came up for air. “Besides, if I take any more I might OD. This is me after half a dozen anti-histamines.”
Kotetsu was hovering beside the teacher, unsure how to help. “What did you do with the flowers?” Iruka shook his head, throwing up one hand while he sneezed three more times into his kleenex. Kotetsu looked at his partner and patted Iruka’s shoulder assuringly. “Look, why don’t you stay here and relax for a while. We can spare some time to go make your apartment livable again, okay?”
Iruka nodded miserably, fishing out his keys and holding them out to his friends. “I’ll be in records, fi-achoo! Ugh, filing.” Iruka clutched at his head some more and shuffled out of the break room.
The file room was large and quiet, only minimally lit and covered in a very fine layer of dust. It appealed to the librarian in Iruka’s soul and stored files almost smelled the same as rows upon rows of well-read books. There was a small table - several actually, but Iruka had long ago claimed one as his own - where he kept all his files and work to be done. It was near the back of the room, with a lamp he’d brought from home, currently cleaned of dust and completely empty.
Iruka looked around frantically. His files, nearly a month of back mission reports should have been sitting right here! Seeing the complete and utter lack of any papers anywhere near his table, Iruka began scanning nearby shelves in a panic.
“So where do you wanna go tonight?”
The teacher yelped and spun to find Kakashi standing behind him in what he could have sworn was unoccupied space. He stuttered a bit, more than slightly surprised, and fetched up against one of the shelves full of papers. After a moment with nothing else from the other man, Iruka blinked and found his voice. “I-I’m sorry, what?”
Kakashi’s head tilted to one side. “Drinks. Where do you want to go?”
“Nowhere!” Iruka practically yelled, recovering from the shock at last. “I have work to do. I have to figure out-“
“But all of your reports have been filed already, you’re all caught up!” The cheerful tone of the man’s voice made Iruka pause again. “That’s why you couldn’t go out with Raidou tonight, right? But now they’re done, so where do you want to go?”
It was too much; information overload, and for a good minute Iruka just stood there, staring at the masked man. Then, in less than a second, his brain went from numb with shock, to racing as things clicked into place. “You’ve been following me!” The other man didn’t even deny it, just shrugging slightly.
Iruka was about to yell some more, but Kakashi spoke first. “Ah, on that note, what exactly are you allergic to, anyway?” Iruka blinked, realizing he actually hadn’t been sneezing since the discovery of his missing files. The new mention reminded him, though, and he again buried his nose in tissue. Behind his mask, Kakashi frowned. “Yeah. It didn’t mention any allergies in your file.”
“File!? You-“
“Shows great promise with simple jutsu and a vast chakra supply, but seems to struggle with higher techniques. Average fighting ability, but exceptional memorizing skills,” he recited. “Doesn’t mention a thing about allergies.”
Iruka continued to gape. That sounded like one of the files he filled out for students. “You’ve read . . . you memorized my school file!?”
“It’s not just for school, there’s a lot of info from your genin career, and fantastic recommendations for your promotion to Sensei.” In his mind, Iruka began going over the layout of the files room. Crap! Why did he have to favor a desk in the very back? And he was still sneezing every few seconds. “So . . .allergies?”
Keep him talking, that was the key. Distract him so he could excape. “I’m allergic to flowers, especially roses, tulips, and gardenias. And some nuts.” He began edging along the shelves. If he could get to a separate row, he might stand a chance of outrunning him.
Kakashi nodded. “I guess that does put a stop to Gai’s approach.”
“K-Kakashi, look. I really have to do some work-“
“No, it’s finished. That was Anko’s idea. So where should we go?”
Another sneeze. And that was what triggered it; the sneezing. On top of everything else, he couldn’t stop sneezing. “No! I’m not going out with you tonight, Kakashi! Now I have to find every file you touched and dig them back out, go over them to make sure you didn’t do anything, refile-“
“Come on, Iruka. This is last stage filing, anything that needed to be flagged already was. And they were all jounin missions, I would have heard if something had been anything but ordinary.” Iruka was still edging away and Kakashi sidestepped lazily, blocking his only hope of retreat. “If you’re really worried about it, I’ll dig them back out for you, okay? We can go get some sake and some dinner, bring it back here-“
Iruka ran.
It wasn’t graceful, it wasn’t tricky, but it was fast. If he could just get back to the break room, he reasoned . . . surely three elite chuunin could waylay one clearly psychotic jounin - shit! Except Izumo and Kotetsu were at his apartment, cleaning out the flowers so he could breathe when he got home -
And his escape wasn’t working. Iruka rounded a corner and had to grab at the shelves to keep from running right into a slim, muscled chest. Iruka retreated a little, flattening once more against the shelves as Kakashi slowly advanced.
The silver haired man heaved a sigh. “So Gai’s idea of flowers failed. Twice. And so did Anko’s ‘help him at work’ plan. Ganma recommended the dinner-date, but it doesn’t seem to be working either. All that leaves me with is Jiraiya’s methods.”
Oh gods, oh gods. The others wouldn’t be back at the missions desk yet, and even if they were, they might not here him from the bowels of the file room. This late at night there was no one else in the tower that would hear him if he screamed. He was going to be raped by Sharingan Kakashi and he couldn’t do anything about it!
One of Kakashi’s hands closed around one of Iruka’s wrists, firmly pinning him in place. His other hand pressed against Iruka’s chest, almost as if he was feeling up a girl. Then his face was close, lips pressing against Iruka’s own unresponsive lips . . . and he was still wearing his mask. A moment later Kakashi pulled away, single visible eye gazing expectantly at Iruka. They both stood that way, nothing happening, neither moving, for several seconds. Then Kakashi pulled slightly further away, releasing the trapped teacher. “You’re supposed to swoon.”
Iruka still didn’t move, staring wide eyed at Kakashi. The masked ninja took another step back. “I did everything right . . .” He fished into his pouch, pulling out the bright orange book and flipping through several pages. Iruka could feel his legs giving out and he allowed himself to sink to the floor. Kakashi looked back at him, face bright for a second before turning dark. “No, that doesn’t look right . . .” and he returned to flipping through pages.
For another minute, the two of them didn’t move. Then Iruka could hear footsteps, two sets, and he began to breathe properly again. Izumo stuck his head in first, quickly wandering the barren rows to find Iruka. “Flowers are taken care of, man. And you weren’t kidding when you said - holy- the hell is going on here!”
Kotetsu rounded the corner in a flash, hands already in seals, ready for an unexpected fight. He faltered a moment, seeing only Kakashi reading his porn, but the look on Iruka’s face was enough for both chunin to intervene. In a flash, the two were beside Iruka, Izumo kneeling beside the teacher while Kotetsu kept on guard, watching Kakashi.
For his part, Kakashi looked completely disinterested. He took another step away and leaned against the shelves behind him, nose still burried in his book. He didn’t twitch as Izumo helped Iruka to his feet, didn’t glance at any of them while they steered the stunned man towards the door, did nothing as they got into the hallway and hurried out of the tower.
-o-o-o-o-o-
Two days had passed and Iruka was just getting out after class. Despite agreements from everyone he asked that he qualified for poast-traumatic-mission leave, he hadn’t actually been able to get out of teaching Konoha’s mini-nin. The children had left almost an hour ago and Iruka had finally finished and was ready to go home at last. He gathered his things, left the building, and promptly flattened himself against the closed door and dropped everything he was carrying as he looked up to see Kakashi waiting for him just outside.
He was holding ice cream.
Iruka stared at him, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, waiting for some sort of explanation. After a moment with no response, Kakashi slowly pulled his arm back. “I just thought, since nothing else seemed to work . . . I asked Konohamaru and he said he would give ice cream to someone he liked. Would . . . you have prefered ramen? That’s what Naruto recommended.”
A startled laugh escaped the teacher’s throat as the final bits of the puzzle clicked into place. ‘Someone he liked’ . . . “That’s what . . . what all this has been about?” He really had thought Kakashi had lost his mind. “And you’ve been asking everyone . . . what about you, Kakashi? What would you do for someone you liked?”
“I don’t know,” he stated plainly. “That’s why I asked my friends. And my books . . . and little kids . . .”
No longer terrified for his life, Iruka suddenly found all of this quite hilarious and was barely able to contain his giggles. “Well what would you want yourself?” he asked in amazement. “If someone liked you, what would you hope they gave you?”
For a long time the man stood there, completely unmoving, as if he didn’t understand the question. His eyes - eye - darted down, then to the side, then back to Iruka’s face and away again. Finally he shook his head, aparently stumped. “I’d just want to be with them?” he asked, as if to see if he’d gotten it right.
Iruka nodded a little in encouragement. “Okay. Now remember that we’re both guys. Did you mention that to anyone you asked for advice?” Kakashi shook his head slowly and Iruka sighed. “That would explain the flowers, guys don’t usually get flowers as a present. So what kind of present do you think you would want?”
Again Kakashi just shook his head, baffled. “I guess . . . a kiss?”
Which, if the incident in the file room was anything to go by, always led directly to swooning and sex in Jiraiya’s aweful books. But Iruka had a feeling it was the kiss itself, not anything it led to, that intrigued Kakashi. He closed his eyes for a moment and nodded, small smile painting his lips. He stepped forward, forcing Kakashi to retreat to the wall. One hand rested against the man’s hip while the other brushed along his jaw, sweeping away the mask and uncovering startlingly pale lips.
As an afterthought, Iruka brushed aside the forehead protecter as well, smile growing at the totally stunned, lost look on the other man’s face. He leaned in, just brushing lips together, then kissed him with more force. There was a plop noise as Kakashi dropped the ice cream and his hands settled hesitantly against Iruka’s shoulders. The teacher sweapt his tongue along Kakashi’s lower lip and slipped inside when the man’s mouth fell open. He pressed their entire bodies together, sharing heat and simply enjoying the contact, hands drifting slightly to play along sensitive areas.
He pulled away after a minute, gaze misty as he studied Kakashi’s reaction. The pale man was panting, mouth open still, bright red flush standing out on pale cheeckbones. The sharingan was spinning wildly, but his normal eye seemed rather out of focus. Iruka just grinned. “That is how you make someone swoon.”
He stepped away, kneeling to gather his scattered things, including the quizzes that had gotten ice cream on them. When he stood again, ready to continue his interrupted trip home, he looked at Kakashi once more. The man was still blushing, though he was clearly more alert, still rooted to the spot as if unsure. Iruka smiled at him and waited; he took a few steps to show he was ready to leave, but didn’t abandon the other.
“I-Iruka-sensei,” Kakashi stuttered out after a moment. “Would you, maybe, like some dinner? I can, uh, I can make something . . . or take you somewhere . . .”
Well who knew? Once he stopped trying to jump into the deep end, the infamous Copy Ninja could actually ask someone out almost like a normal person. “You cook?” Iruka asked sweetly. “I’d love a home-cooked meal.”
Kakashi nodded, smile gracing his features before he hid them again behind cloth. And then he was leading the other down the street, already planning the meal aloud.