Black Bird - Chapter 14
Black Bird
The sequel to "Let Go"
Part: 14 /
Genre: A/U Hancest, Romance, Drama
Pairing: Tike (Eventually. Not portrayed as brothers)
POV: Isaac, third person
Rating: PG-13 / Mild R
Warnings: Some mentions of adult topics and sexuality, but no actual smut or anything intense, really.
Word Count: 4709
--Monday Morning
The first time that the shrill scream of the cell phone alarm pierced the otherwise quiet room, Isaac turned it off and rolled over. Closing his eyes to hide from the bright sunlight that flooded through the window, he considered his options. One option entailed turning off that automatic alarm at the first opportunity that came to him, it wasn't as though he had anything to get up for today. Or tomorrow. Or the day after that. Maybe later, he decided, setting a second alarm instead to grant him just another hour of rest. There was no rush to get up, he bargained with himself, so why not be lazy and take another hour to spoil himself? The feeling of such freedom was both welcome but also felt the slightest bit daunting, for Isaac was so accustomed to a busy schedule, having nearly every minute carved out and planned. Now, the possibility of such a span of void space that once seemed like a welcome vacation, was actually a little bit overwhelming. What would he do with himself?
Of course, he hadn't expected to have quite this much time on his hands. Of the half dozen or so resumes and cover letters that he'd polished and sent off, he hadn't received a single response. Perhaps a firm would call today, Isaac hoped as he rolled onto his back and stared up at his starch white ceiling. But what if they didn't? Isaac resigned to the fact that the better part of the day should be spent writing more cover letters. It had seemed so easy the first time he'd tackled the job field, as a fresh grad, the firms had been eager to hear his new ideas, to harness his fresh blood and his "endless" energy. They'd seen a passion in him that he struggled to feel at the moment, why he couldn't feel more excited about a new job opportunity, he wasn't sure.
It was too early to think about just why he'd gotten into investments and it was also too late to fall back asleep. Throwing the covers away from his body, Isaac dragged himself towards the bathroom for a shower, hoping that it would provide a fresh start to the day and give his mind the chance to clear a little bit. He needed his brain to be every bit as sharp as possible, after all. Isaac knew that he could coast along like this for awhile, but not forever. The problem besides the incoming money was the time away from the field. The world of stocks was always changing and the competition was cut throat. Taking himself "out of the game" for too long would render the hours he had spent honing his skills useless, he'd simply be dull against the sharp competition.
As the steam billowed in thick clouds around him, Isaac tried with every ounce of self control that he had to think about how he'd re-write his resume. It was fruitless, however, because every time he started to think about how he'd write his job experience or which font he'd try, something else always came to mind. Or someone, rather. Breathing deeply, Isaac knew that he was all but powerless when it came to a battle with his own mind. His body had been perched against him as well, responding to every single dirty thought that dared cross him. What was Jordan doing at that moment? Was he in the shower as well, and if he was, what was -he- doing? Isaac felt his teeth sink into the flesh of his lower lip at the same time as his fingers grasped his stiff shaft. In his mind, he conjured up the best memories that he had of what Jordan's body looked like, naked. He remembered how lean he seemed, how he'd brushed his fingers across his chest and felt the bony ridges of his ribs. If Isaac could choose, he'd rather Jordan a little heavier, just so that he wouldn't feel so bad when he threw him around in exactly all of the ways he wanted to.
Groaning, Isaac wondered why he couldn't have been so bold that first time he'd had the chance. He'd wanted to devour Jordan from the moment he'd laid eyes on him, but courage hadn't been on his side that night, and instead Jordan had held the control. Not that that was a bad thing, Isaac reasoned, remembering the way Jordan's voice had sounded, so much deeper and huskier than the day before. A completely different side of him, but because he knew so little about Jordan, he really wasn't sure what was true when it came to Jordan's nature. How much of the night had been an act, how much had Jordan just played into the assumed fantasy? How would it be when Jordan wasn't "on the clock" ? Isaac felt a little nervous in a whole new way; wondering for seemingly the first time, would Jordan want him just as badly? He'd seemed plenty eager that night, but of course, he was being paid. Isaac worried a little bit as he turned the water off, hearing the pipes squeak, that he wouldn't be able to fulfill Jordan in all the ways he wanted to. Jordan was rather... experienced, to say the least, and Isaac felt anything but capable.
Isaac dried himself with his back to the mirror, using the large, fluffy towel to mop up the water from his arms, his legs and then over his chest. Just as he was starting to dry his hair, the sound of his cell phone buzzing caught his attention. Spinning around, he reached for his cell phone and felt his cheeks burn with a heated excitement when he saw that he had a new message from Jordan. Opening it up, it was just a few words, but it was enough to make him grin ear to ear, his heart beating roughly in his chest and leaving him feeling downright giddy.
"Hey. Just wondering what you were up to? :)"
Exhaling slowly, Isaac began to type out a reply. It was honest, if not a little too honest. "I just got out of the shower... so... that's what I am up to. How about you? :)"
Isaac gathered up his dirty clothes from the floor and tossed them into his en-suite laundry room as he walked down the hall to his bedroom. Sauntering over to his closet, he couldn't help but wonder what Jordan would think of his response. Was it too much? He plucked a comfortable looking t-shirt from a hanger and then reached for a pair of jeans. Certainly a lot more casual than what he was used to wearing on a Monday. While he was pulling up the jeans, his cellphone buzzed on the mattress next to him. When he was barely finished zipping up his jeans, he reached for his cellphone eagerly, desperate to know how Jordan had responded.
"Well... now I am thinking about you in the shower. But before that, I was just riding on the bus."
Isaac couldn't help but feel himself blush. He wished Jordan were anywhere but on the bus - he really wished he was right there with him, but he'd settle for talking to him, none the less. Isaac wondered where he was going and what he was up to. Was he headed to work? A nagging feeling reminded him that he had a resume to work on. But texting Jordan was a lot more entertaining than working on a boring, stuffy resume and cover letter. For jobs that... Instead of allowing his mind to complete the thought, he typed out a nosy reply.
"Where ya going? Anywhere exciting?"
Surely, Jordan's day was more interesting than his own. Isaac wandered into the kitchen and pulled open the fridge door, allowing his eyes to wander over the shelves. They were a lot more bare than he'd last recalled but he supposed that it had been several days since he'd been to the grocery store. Okay... closer to a week, he accepted with a soft sigh. But at least he could make a coffee, he reached for the small carton of cream and set it down on the counter before reaching into the cupboard for the coffee beans. The sound of the coffee grinder eviscerating the beans muffled the sound of Isaac's cell phone but it wasn't long before he noticed the little notification icon on his home screen.
"Not at all. I am on my way to the library."
Isaac nibbled on his lower lip, bemused, in a way, that Jordan was on his way to the library. The thought of him reading a book was endearing, assuming that that was what he was headed there to do. He could have thought about Jordan curled up with his nose in a book for a lot longer, had it not been for the sound of his phone ringing in the living room. With his heart in his throat, Isaac made a frantic dash, towel barely secured around his waist, in the hope that one of the firms he'd sent his resume to was on the other end of the ringing phone line.
Without glancing at the ID screen, Isaac reached for the phone and barely breathed before speaking with restrained excitement.
"Hello?"
"Isaac" His father's voice came through the line. "You're home."
Isaac felt his entire body grow ice cold, a lump rising in his throat. Of course, his father thought that he was at work. it was Monday, around lunch time, why shouldn't he be anywhere but in his office? Wait, why was he calling?
"I took the day off... I had a dentist appointment this morning." Isaac swallowed and held his breath for a moment, hoping with every fibre of his mind that his fib would hold over.
"Oh" His father replied, his tone decidedly nonchalant. "How did it go?"
"Good" Isaac replied swiftly. "No cavities."
"Zac had a dentist appointment last week."
The mention of Zac and the dentist in the same sentence had Isaac's mind reeling, spinning with memories from when he was younger, hauntingly vivid reminders of the fear his younger brother, especially, felt. Neither of the Hanson boys had ever been fond of their family dentist, Dr. Ernest was an older yet towering man with salt and pepper coloured hair and thin rimmed glasses. It wasn't that he was outwardly mean, but he had a way of looking down his nose at you, a way of making you feel small. And scared. When Isaac was about twelve, he'd retired, and a new, younger dentist took over the practice. Over time, Isaac noticed that going to the dentist became much less of an ordeal at the gentle hands of Dr. Amy Correia. The dentist tried to distract Zac by offering him the remote to the televion that sat on the wall, gave him his choice of the best toothbrushes and even extra packages of sugar free gum, but despite her best efforts, Zac never seemed to recover from his anxieties about the office. Simply setting foot inside seemed to trigger something in his younger brother, a tangible shift in energy and mood. Bright eyes became dull, lowered, and Isaac could recall hearing his heavy breathing, no matter how far away he tried to distance himself in the too-small and always cramped seeming waiting room. The office was always busy, and with this, came unwanted stares. Isaac tried to ignore the looks, doing his best to stay calm while his cheeks burned and he overheard whispered conversations about his brother. What was wrong with him? Why was he so nervous? Why wasn't their mother doing anything to help calm him down?
"And how did that go?" Isaac asked, holding his breath a little bit and wondering just what story might follow.
"Actually..." His father paused for a moment. "It went quite well. It started off pretty bad... the usual hygienist - Jeanette - Jonie -"
"Janey?" Isaac offered. Janey had been a regular at the office since Zac had been young and she'd been one of the only staff at the office that Zac tolerated. Isaac remembered her fondly as a sweet lady with a kind laugh and a fondness for children. She'd always let them have extra stickers. Janey mostly only took care of the youngest patients, but it had been written in Zac's file that he preferred to see her - and really, what it should have said, was that he'd only see her. Isaac remembered the only other incident where Janey had been unable to see Zac and it had resulted in an extremely angry Diana, frustrated nearly to the point of tears as she stuffed a screaming Zac into the back of the car and drove home, silently, without him having had a check up. Isaac had witnessed the entire thing after having his own teeth cleaned and checked, and trying to explain to Zac that the stand-in hygienist was just as nice had been fruitless. Zac was in a state where he had gone beyond the point of ration and Isaac felt not only helpless, but embarrassed, for himself, for Zac and especially for their mother as what felt like the entire world was judging their family from this spectacle in the waiting room.
"That's the one. She was off sick. Zac was pretty upset."
"Oh boy." Isaac took in a breath. "But what happened?"
"There was a new hygienist that volunteered her luck..." Walker paused and Isaac could tell that he wasn't really in the mood to have a long conversation about Zac. I'm sure Zac will tell you more this weekend." Walker chuckled a little bit. "Anyway, Isaac, I was hoping to ask you something."
Within seconds, the mood of the conversation had seemingly shifted and Isaac felt his stomach knot up. Grasping the phone a little more tightly in his hands, he wandered over to the couch while responding in the only way he really could. "Sure, dad."
There was a pause, a moment where Walker seemed to be collecting his thoughts and deciding how best to proceed. As each second passed, Isaac realized that this must be something his father was nervous about. "Well... I was hoping you could do me a favour." Walker finally volunteered the first bit of information and before Isaac could respond, he continued to explain. "I have been seeing someone - her name is Rhea, and she has family in the area so she was going to come along this weekend... and I was wondering..." Another pause, but Isaac knew already where his father was about to lead the sentence.
"Would you mind watching Zac, just for Saturday night?"
"That's fine." Isaac responded quickly, and it was, he was happy to have his brother's company and he even looked forward to the time alone. Isaac found that over the years, Zac always opened up more when it was just the two of them. He'd been able to calm a terrified Zac down on the night before the first day of school when his mother and father both felt helpless. Another time, he remembered giving Zac a pep talk before a piano recital. He'd never loved the piano the way their mother had, but he was good at it. Isaac had managed to get into guitar classes, and he could see the envy in his brothers eyes every time he rode along in the car to the classes. Zac never really put up a big fuss about the piano, but Isaac knew it just wasn't his thing. After a year or three of classes, he easily persuaded his mom into switching to soccer - which lasted three and a half weeks. It wasn't until he turned fourteen and found the Warhammer club at his new high school, that Zac found his true niche and started to emerge from his shell. It was then that the rest of the world got to see parts of Zac that only his family - especially Isaac - had known before.
"I appreciate it. We'll pick him up on Sunday morning, of course. Maybe we can all have breakfast." Walker offered, sounding hopeful.
"Sure." Isaac agreed, though meeting Rhea and going out for breakfast didn't really seem like his ideal Sunday. Truthfully, a small, greedy part of him had hoped that maybe he could spend time with Jordan on Sunday. He smirked to himself as he imagined, for just half of a second, the look on his fathers face if he brought Jordan to this breakfast. "I really don't mind, I've missed Zac."
"He misses you too." Walker offered, and Isaac wondered immediately if his father was just saying so. Zac wasn't the type to express his emotions out loud, not very often, at least. He and Isaac weren't on bad terms, by any means, but they rarely talked and he always felt guilty about it... he didn't expect Zac felt the same guilt, instead he had always expected his brother to resent him. Isaac had been Zac's best friend when he lived at home, he'd been the glue that held the family together when their mother passed away. For a long time, he filled the role of housekeeper and second parent to Zac, both. It wasn't that he minded the work, but it had consumed his life and he'd lost touch with himself. Isaac had felt like there had been no realistic choice but to leave, and sadly, communication with his brother had pretty much ceased when he'd driven to the airport that morning. Zac probably hated him. He certainly wouldn't blame him.
"Did he say that?"
An infamous pause. "Well, no.... It's Zac." The tone was light, Isaac could see the playful and knowing smile on his fathers lips.
"He's probably much more excited about the tournament than he is to see me." Isaac said with a quiet chuckle.
"Maybe, but, he'll appreciate pizza or something after the... match... game..." His father stumbled.
"Tournament." Isaac volunteered. "You're suggesting to win him over with food?"
"I'm just speaking from experience." Walker laughed in a way that sounded so familiar to Zac's that it gave Isaac goosebumps. He realized then, how much he was really looking forward to seeing his younger sibling. Truly, it had been too long. Part of him hoped in a wistful way that they'd reconnect seamlessly, yet another, more realistic wave of thought told him it might not come without some friction. After all, with Zac, there had always been a little friction. Sometimes, communication with his brother was just plain difficult. Nonetheless, he loved his brother, despite all of his peculiarities.
"So, what time is the tournament supposed to be over?"
"I'm not completely sure, Isaac... Zac wasn't really clear. He said that the games could go on for..." Walker paused and sighed a little bit. "Some time."
Isaac could already predict his fathers impatience as the day wore on and he stood around a room of middle aged, mostly single men, dotted with nerdy teenagers like Zac. Needless to say, he'd stick out like a sore thumb. But, he was a good father, and he'd go and be there to support his son. Isaac felt a sudden weight on his conscience, that maybe he should be present - to be supportive - of his brother as well.
"I can go with you." Isaac volunteered. "We can cheer Zac on."
Walker chuckled, and then cleared his throat, speaking in a more serious tone; "I don't want to put you out...if you had... other plans."
"No, I didn't have anything planned for next Saturday. I have been keeping it open for this reason." Isaac responded, and it wasn't a lie, though he hadn't been completely sure he'd be attending the tournament. Sincerely, a small part of him had hoped that he may be able to spend even part of Saturday in the company of Jordan, but, he was satisfied enough to know that Friday evening would be spent in the presence of the handsome blond.
"Great, then. Rhea is looking forward to meeting you."
Isaac swallowed around a lump that had suddenly risen in his throat. It was strange to think of another woman on his fathers arm, despite the number of years that had passed since his mother had died. It was only logical - and fair, as well, that his father start seeing other people. It wasn't as though Isaac could reasonably ask him not to. None the less, the idea was something that hadn't quite registered as normal in his mind because he hadn't really been put in the situation as of yet. Sure, he'd known that his father had seen a couple of people, but, he'd never actually met any of these women that he'd learned bits and pieces about.
"How long have you been seeing her?"
"About nine months." Walker replied, and then continued in a tone that sounded heartfelt; "She is a really sweet woman. She makes me laugh..."
Isaac could tell that his father was smiling as he spoke.
"And she's good with Zac." Walker continued. "She has a daughter with special needs."
"Zac doesn't have..." Isaac could feel his heart beating faster. "Special needs." It sounded so negative. "He just thinks differently."
"I know." Walker countered the statement swiftly in a tone that Isaac recognized. He wasn't going to push. "Zac's fine. But the point is, they get along really well."
Isaac raked his lower lip with his upper teeth and forced himself to focus only on the positive. It was also unfair to judge Rhea, he reasoned, without having even met her. She hadn't done anything wrong except like his father. Something that he himself, had struggled with doing at several stages of his life. Their relationship had been rocky though not especially aggressive, Walker had never been an awful father but he hadn't always been able to connect with his sons in the ways they'd needed him to.
"That's good." Isaac replied after a moment. "Where did you meet her?"
"On the internet." Walker admitted, somewhat quietly, as though he might be showing a bit of embarrassment.
Isaac attempted to suppress a smile at the notion of his fathers online dating profile. He wondered what he would have written about himself.
"What does she do?" Isaac feigned interest not only to be polite but to keep his mind from wondering too much more about the idea of his father looking for love on the internet.
"She manages a coffee shop inside of the new library." Walker explained. "Part of the proceeds from the cafe get donated to the children's hospital."
"Oh" Isaac couldn't help but feel impressed. "That's interesting. She sounds great, dad."
"I appreciate your support, Isaac." Walker spoke in a tone that was decidedly more somber. "It was hard at first, to date... since..." His father's voice faded away into silence and a long pause began to eat up the silence between them. Isaac knew exactly what his father had wanted to say, but had stopped short of.
"But Rhea is different."
Walker sounded happy, and for that, Isaac was happy. It was going to be a little bit strange to adjust to seeing his father with someone else the way he was with mom, but, if they were happy, it was for the best. Besides, he could probably use the help with Zac, and not all women would be as patient and as understanding as Walker had expressed this woman to be.
"You seem happy, and I'm glad." Isaac was honest.
"How about you, son?" Walker asked and Isaac felt his heart immediately leap into his throat. Startled, as though he was a small bird who had just noticed a cat sneaking up upon it through the grass. "Are you seeing anyone?"
The question made him nervous because he felt as though no matter what he said, his father wouldn't genuinely be happy. Walker had not been comfortable when Isaac had initially come out, on Thanksgiving weekend, the year he'd first moved away from school. It had been his first visit home, and because flights on the holiday weekend had been so expensive, he'd opted for the long bus ride, instead. It had given him time to plan out what he wanted to tell his parents - the truth about his sexuality. Despite his meticulous planning, the conversation had gone anything but smoothly. Worst of all, his parents had had news for him as well. His mothers cancer was back in remission. Isaac counted that night as one of the worst in his short life and the simple reminiscing of it was enough to make his whole body ache a little.
"Nothing serious..." Isaac started to say and immediately, regretted it. Walker might jump to the silent conclusion that he was just hooking up and having casual sex. Something that he had expressed worry about. Isaac remembered being unable to resist the urge to roll his eyes at the notion that his father seemed to have that straight men didn't involve themselves in casual sex the way gay people did. It was such a typical, and terrible stereotype.
"You can tell me." Walker said and Isaac felt his cheeks burn at his fathers insistence, "If there is."
"I might have met someone, but he isn't my boyfriend or anything." Isaac found it hard not to feel nervous about his honesty, something that surprised even himself to be admitting. It wasn't as if Jordan were his boyfriend. Not yet, anyway.... the mere thought made Isaac blush even harder. It didn't quite seem realistic, and yet, it was so exciting to consider as well.
"I see," Walker began. "How did you meet?"
Isaac felt an acute urge to be sick while simultaneously trying to think of a good lie. "Through a mutual friend." He exhaled slowly, hoping that the typical response would need no further explanation.
"I'm glad, Isaac." Walker said. "I really am."
Isaac wanted so badly to believe that his father was genuine. Maybe he was. It would take some time to be sure, and Jordan might not even be around long enough to have to worry about it.
"His name is Jordan." Isaac volunteered some information, deciding to test the waters a little bit. "He's really funny, he makes me laugh... and he loves to play piano."
The sharp intake of breath on the other end of the phone line was audible and Isaac felt a pang of guilt. The comparison was obvious.
"Like your mom." Walker said anyway, deciding not to dodge the point. "I hope it goes well. If you'd like, we could all go out for supper, or something."
"We'll see - he works a lot, sometimes on the weekends..." Isaac responded quickly, it was true, of course, but a larger part of him wasn't quite ready to face such a feat yet.
"Perhaps another time." Walker volunteered. Suddenly, a voice in the background cut through and interrupted the conversation.
"DAD"
Walker sighed. "Anyway, son... I should probably get going, I promised Zac a ride to the hobby store."
"Ok, dad, it was nice talking. I'll see you on Saturday."
"See you Saturday. Love you, son."
"Love you too, bye."
The line went silent and Isaac hung up, still feeling a little surprised at all that had just transpired. In all of the years since he had come out, he had never spoken at such lengths about any of his relationships or about his sexuality in general. It had been a bit uncomfortable at first, but he was glad, now and relived in a way, that he'd conquered it. The idea of introducing Jordan to his father still seemed pretty intimidating, but also not impossible. Isaac would have thought about it for quite some time longer, but his phone erupted once again and this time, an unfamiliar number was on the caller ID screen.