Black Bird - Chapter Thirteen
Black Bird
The sequel to "Let Go"
Part: 13 /
Genre: A/U Hancest, Romance, Drama
Pairing: Tike (Eventually. Not portrayed as brothers)
POV: Isaac, third person
Rating: PG-13 - Some adult concepts, such as alcohol and language, but nothing heavy.
Warnings: None
Word Count: 3432
Isaac stared ahead at the road, though he was tempted to steal glances in the direction of the passenger seat. Next to him, Jordan seemed desperate to stay awake, perched against the window with a lazy - though content, smile on his face. The conversation had died off awhile ago, the drive home from the fair had been long but neither of them seemed to mind the quiet, it was anything but tense. In fact, the time had flown by in that weird sort of way that feels slow and wonderful in the minute, but before you know it, it's gone. Isaac felt happier than he had in awhile, in ways that he wasn't sure if he'd even felt before. As a teenager, he'd gone on a lot of dates but he'd never felt the butterflies that all of his friends raved about. He had never bothered pretending to be interested in the things that most of the guys his age were doing. Things such as going to drive in's and making out during the movies, sneaking girls into parents houses, mall bathrooms... anywhere. Instead of indulging his hormones, Isaac had been too consumed by his musical interests to involve himself in a serious relationship. Besides, girls had just never seemed that interesting...
Or interested in him, anyway.
It had been a long time since he'd reasoned with himself that he hadn't been ready to face bigger truths than his love for music. When it came to his sexuality, Isaac felt sure that there had been more than subtle hints along the way, but it had taken him awhile to fully accept the fact that he found men a lot more appealing than women. Sometimes, he felt as though he'd missed out on things by not being more honest with himself when he was younger. There had been plenty of lonely times, nights spent alone with his guitar while his friends went out and had "fun". He always felt like a third wheel by tagging along solo with happy couples, but it was even more difficult to feign interest in one of the painfully mindless girls that his friends liked to hang around. At least when it came to band practice, there was no chance to feel as though he didn't belong. Girls and the topic of love were only in the cards when it came to writing song lyrics, and really, they spent a lot more time playing covers than trying to write songs. Isaac couldn't help but smile when he thought about some of the songs that they'd thought were masterpieces.
Isaac appreciated the fact that his mind felt free enough to wander as he drove through the city streets that felt familiar but new at the same time. Before he was ready, he found himself downtown and wondered what the rest of the night was going to entail. Jordan seemed exhausted and Isaac felt guilty even wondering about asking if he wanted to come over... but he felt a heavy feeling of dread at the thought of having to say goodbye so soon. How had the day escaped so quickly? It felt as though he'd only picked him up a short while before...
"You look exhausted. Should I take you home?"
Isaac glanced over for a second and noticed that Jordan was chewing on his lower lip. "I hate to say I work in the morning."
"You're not on the night shift?"
"I am..." Jordan explained, his cheeks turning red as he offered a sheepish smile. "I'm doing a double shift,"
Without needing further explanation, Isaac could tell from the tone of Jordan's voice that he probably needed the money.
"How about you?" Jordan changed the subject and caught Isaac a little off guard.
"Um..." Isaac clutched the steering wheel a little more tightly, feeling the smooth leather beneath his fingers. "I'm still looking for another job. "
There was a pause, and within the gap of silence, Isaac noticed that he felt an unexpected pang of embarrassment. Many wouldn't describe Jordan's profession as fancy, but at least he was employed. Stealing a glance in the direction of Jordan, Isaac hoped that the younger man wasn't judging him too harshly. From the soft expression in his blue eyes, he felt some relief, Jordan only looked sympathetic.
"I don't think it will take you long." Jordan said with an encouraging smile. "Some firm will scoop you up..."
Isaac felt his hands tighten on the leather-bound steering wheel and he forced his eyes to remain fixed on the road. He wanted to thank Jordan for the reassurance but there was a fluttering in his chest that made him nervous. A little nagging voice in the back of his mind pondered the inevitable questions; But what if Jordan was wrong? What if he didn't find another job?
The fear would be overwhelming if he let his thoughts flow in too quickly; the way water rushes through a dam as it floods. He could already feel his heart beat quickening, his temples feeling warmer. Mustering some courage, Isaac knew that he had to take control of his anxiety before Jordan noticed that something was up. Jordan knew him as calm, collected, confident. Focusing on the street ahead of him, he realized that they were quickly approaching the destination neighbourhood. Saying goodnight to Jordan was something else that Isaac found himself feeling anxious about. For one, he wondered about the chances of a goodnight kiss... part of him itched for that goodnight kiss to turn into more, but the chance of actually going through with that desire was slim. Isaac didn't really want to rush into it either; he'd already experienced it and while it had been nothing short of mind blowing, he was more concerned about giving Jordan the wrong idea. He no longer saw him as a call boy and he wanted to be sure that Jordan understood that notion just as clearly.
As he turned onto the street he'd been looking for, Isaac heard Jordan clear his throat quietly from the passenger seat.
"I had a really nice time today." Jordan said, sounding perhaps a little bit shy. "It was a lot of fun."
Isaac felt himself blush, feeling fortunate for the darkness of the car and it's ability to hide his nervousness. "I had a great time too." He took a deep breath as he pulled over to the side of the road in front of Jordan's house. "I was hoping we could do it again sometime soon?"
Jordan's shy smile stretched into a grin and when he looked towards Isaac, it seemed that the smile extended into his eyes as well. Isaac couldn't help but feel relieved that Jordan seemed to share the same giddiness that he was feeling himself, a strange, bubbly feeling of excitement that almost made it feel difficult to breathe.
"What's your schedule like this week?" Isaac asked as he put the car into park and killed the engine.
Jordan paused, looking away from Isaac for a moment as he let out a breath. "Well, I took on some extra hours this week... but I'm actually off early on Friday afternoon."
Isaac pretended to consider a 'schedule' for a moment, eluding Jordan to the idea that he had some place or somewhere to be. Truthfully, the days were open; a concept that was somewhat new to him. It was a state of living that he wasn't sure how he felt about quite yet. It came without the binds of a work schedule yet there was something lonely about the vastness of the days. He'd have to give the job hunt another attempt, he reconciled with himself.
"Friday afternoon sounds good to me." Isaac said after a moment, hoping that Jordan hadn't noticed the way he'd gotten caught up with his anxious mind for a moment. "What would you like to do?"
Jordan blushed and shrugged. "I don't know."
Isaac smiled; "You're so helpful." He teased. Truthfully, he wasn't sure what they would do yet either. It didn't really matter; he coincided with himself, because he was simply happy to be promised the chance to spend more time with Jordan.
"Alright... give me a couple days. I'll figure something out."
The blond took Isaac by surprise; and Isaac found himself immediately excited. He had absolutely no idea what Jordan would conjure up.
"Deal."
Jordan smiled. "I only hope I don't let you down."
Isaac shook his head. "Not possible, we could sit around and watch movies on a couch and I'd be happy with that. Maybe a pizza and a few bottles of beer." His honesty took him a little by surprise, he felt comfortable around Jordan, much more comfortable than he'd expect to feel around someone he'd known for such a short period of time.
"I don't hate that idea." Jordan smiled. "I'd be happy to sit out here all night with you and just talk..." His voice trailed off. "But I should probably get going in."
"You should. But you should know that I could sit here all night as well." Isaac admitted, feeling himself blush.
"You should probably let me kiss you." Jordan mumbled and then leaned close, filling the space between them and crushing his mouth against Isaac's.
Breathing in quickly, Isaac couldn't help but groan softly as he felt Jordan's desperate kiss overwhelm his mouth. His entire body temperature seemingly rose several degrees as Jordan's lips moved against his and he felt his body tremble when Jordan nibbled just once before pulling away. Smouldering eyes and flushed cheeks, Jordan looked irresistible and Isaac could feel himself growing hard within his jeans. Squirming in the driver seat, he let out a deep breath and heard Jordan sigh softly as well.
"I don't want to go."
Isaac smiled weakly, knowing that he needed to be the voice of reason. "Me either, but you should. I'll see you soon." Isaac promised.
Jordan leaned closer and brushed his mouth briefly over Isaac's. "Goodnight, Isaac."
Jordan slipped out of the car quickly after that, closing the door and disappearing in the moonlight. Isaac waited, watching the shadowy figure walk up the steps and unlock the door without trouble. He paused for another moment or two before driving away, feeling his heart still pounding in his chest as his mind tumbled with several different thoughts at once. All of them were about Jordan, he felt as though he couldn't have been luckier to have met him. Friday would take it's time, for that he had decided for certain as started to drive out of the unfamiliar neighbourhood.
Despite having felt tired on the drive home, Isaac found that he was relatively energized by the time he reached his apartment. Pacing his way from the bathroom where he spent a few moments freshening up, he made his way to the kitchen. The clock on the stove read that it was approaching midnight, but he just didn't feel ready for bed. His body felt tired; his shoulders sore and his legs heavy. It had been a long day, but it had been a day full of things that left his mind spinning. Not in a bad way, just a perpetual type of movement; waves of questions and wonders. Occasionally something hopeful. After pacing from one end of the apartment to the other, Isaac settled down on the couch with a cup of peppermint tea and a copy of the newspaper. Just as he was getting comfortable on the leather cushions he noticed a flashing red light from the answering machine across the room. A call from a prospective employer probably wouldn't come on a Sunday, Isaac rationalized with himself as he crossed the room, determined none the less to find out who had called for him. As he reached down to press play, it only took a second and then the sound of his fathers voice filled the room.
"Hi Isaac... Just reminding you that we'll be arriving on Saturday, probably around lunch time, or so... to go to the...." His father paused. "Zac's thing."
Isaac smiled a little bit to himself as he imagined his father's face at the thought of Zac's Warhammer tournament. The game wasn't something that his father was even remotely interested in, and he barely feigned an interest for Zac's sake. But he came along, he supported Zac the best he could. Isaac tried not to be sad about it, because there wasn't a lot he could do. It used to be himself in his fathers shoes, and even if he had done a better job at being there for Zac, it wasn't as though he could do it forever. Or... could he? The guilt was something he'd learnt not to hold onto, but at times, such as this, it did creep up on him, like something icy.
For a long time, his younger brother had been very misunderstood. His mother, even Isaac himself, had always known that Zac was different, but it was difficult to actually put a name to it. Much less a diagnosis. Walker, their father, was even more hesitant to reach out for help, reluctant and in hindsight, probably terrified, at the notion that his son was anything less than... typical. Out of everyone, Isaac was sad to admit that it was probably their own father who had once judged Zac in the most harsh of ways. But being different didn't make him less, Isaac had always seen a brightness in Zac that proved that although he thought differently, he was nothing short of brilliant. He hadn't always been the best at expressing himself - and for a long time, he didn't say much of anything at all. Grunts, maybe on good days there would be a few words here and there. Outbursts, if he lost control of a situation or became overwhelmed, at one time were frequent, but had slowed as Zac grew closer and closer to puberty; to becoming a young adult. But the earlier years had set a tone for his brothers life, and it wasn't a particularly bright one. Isaac watched as Zac tried his best to fit in, to act in the way that he was expected to. He wanted nothing more to be "just like everyone else". Though harmless, there was a brashness about his behaviour in the early years that made it difficult for Zac to have ever really made friends. So, he learned to be happy spending time by himself. He built models, taught himself to paint, and later used those skills to craft pieces for the game that would become his ultimate hobby.
Warhammer became an outlet for Zac that allowed him to wander into the lines of 'normalcy' in a way he hadn't before. He suddenly had an advantage, he was quite adept at the game and he was able to give hints and tips to other players. Almost friends, but at least, allies, Zac had found a community, a place where he could fit in. The change had been gradual though none the less, extremely positive, and Isaac had watched his brother slowly emerge from his shell. Seeing the changes in Zac and the way that his father had started taking over the role of driving him to tournaments when Isaac was too busy studying for exams, Isaac began to think about moving away. About escaping and pursuing his dreams in a place that he'd be able to call his own. Away from responsibilities and obligations, away from judgement when it came to things that he hadn't been quite ready to admit - to not only his family and friends, but to himself. Isaac had known when he left that his relationship with his brother and with his entire family would ultimately change, but he wasn't sure if he'd expected to feel just as distanced from them as he did. It wasn't something he liked to think about; it made him a little homesick for things that he had no choice but to leave in his past.
"We will most likely stay over, if we can, on Saturday night... probably too tired to make the drive home " His father paused for a second. "But we'll be out of your hair the next morning."
Isaac chewed on his lip a little bit, unsure if he liked the wording that his father had used, but deciding that the day had been too great to ruin it over worries such as that. He was happy enough to be seeing them at all.
"If you have any questions, just give me a call. Hope you're enjoying your weekend, son. Love you. See you soon.... Bye."
The message ended, and once again, Isaac was surrounded by silence in his gapingly large apartment. He couldn't help but think about the weekend that loomed ahead of him; he'd been promised Friday night to spend with Jordan, and he was thankful that he had that to look forward to before the visit. Not that he was dreading it, but he couldn't help but feel a little anxious about his fathers reaction to the looming confession that he had found himself unemployed. It had felt a bit like a dirty secret to be keeping it from him, but he'd expected to have maybe found something before it would become a topic of conversation. It wasn't as though they talked on a very regular basis. Besides his father, he wondered what seeing his brother would be like. Would Zac be the same? It had been a little while since he'd last seen him, but really only half of a year. Christmas had been a brief visit, there had been an especially large family gathering and Zac was especially reclusive due to the number of guests, the questions and expected conversation. Isaac had spent very little time with him and he could only wonder if Zac might feel resentful because of that. Hopefully not.
Just as Isaac was beginning to feel the anxiety thicken, the sound of his cellphone's chime alert filled the room. Hopeful, he practically flew across the room and snatched the phone up from the coffee table where he'd left it. The preview screen told him that it was a message from Jordan, and he couldn't help but feel a smile tug at the corner of his mouth as he opened up the message to see what it said.
"So I was thinking..."
Isaac smiled in a curious way, wondering just what Jordan was thinking about. He typed back a message, feeling giddy in ways that he expected a young girl might feel over a crush. It was silly, but it was happening.
"Just what were you thinking...?" Isaac wrote back and added a smiley face for good measure.
After a moment or two, the phone chimed. Jordan had replied; "I was thinking I'd really like to cook you dinner on Friday night."
Isaac felt his cheeks burn and he slid onto the couch, pulling a blanket up over him while he thought about how he should reply. If he were completely honest, he'd tell Jordan that that was the nicest thing he'd ever had someone offer to do for him - in a romantic sort of way, at least. But, he figured that that sort of response might be a bit too... intense. He thought for a moment or two and then typed out a reply.
"I think I'd like that a lot, Jordan. I'm looking forward to it already."
A few minutes passed without a response and instead of wondering about it, Isaac reached for the remote to distract himself. The TV didn't offer much selection around midnight, but Isaac found something on the movie network and turned it on as he pulled the blanket up around himself and settled into the couch. Watching the movie by himself in the dark apartment felt a little bit lonely, Isaac thought to himself as the film started. it would certainly be nice if Jordan was curled up next to him, but he felt anything but sad as he snuggled up on the couch. It was impossible to resist checking his phone every once in awhile, but Isaac ended up lulled into the dark temptress that was sleep before any more messages came.