Black Bird - Chapter Five
Black Bird
The sequel to "Let Go"
Part: 5/
Genre: A/U Hancest, Romance, Drama
Pairing: Tike (Eventually. Not portrayed as brothers)
POV: Isaac, third person
Rating: PG-13 - Some adult concepts, such as alcohol and language, but nothing heavy.
Warnings: None
Authors Notes: Previous chapters can be found here - Chapters of Let Go can be found here
Word Count: 3318
Monday, May 2nd
Isaac had feared the feeling of the weekend crawling, the dread of the looming week and the span of empty time. But instead, the time had slipped by, as 'normal' feeling ever. Routine errands had eaten up his Saturday, the way he'd always allowed them to. He finished the grocery shopping and stopped off at one of the posh little Cafe's down town for a pound of fresh coffee. When all of the work was done outside the home, he took to working on the inside and took his time cleaning his entire apartment. By the end of Saturday, he was exhausted and fell asleep early. Sunday was a lazier day; spent largely in his sweat pants and an old white t-shirt, he stretched out on his sofa and read the Sunday edition New York Times while nibbling a bagel. Life hadn't been so bad.
But then Monday came, and he felt out of place. Even without his alarm, he woke early in the morning, just as the sun had begun to crack it's way out from beneath the thick and sleepy clouds. Sitting up in bed, it took Isaac more than a moment to realize that he had nothing to get out of bed for. Settling back a little bit, he stretched his arms out and then sighed, perplexed. Unable to fall back asleep, he got up and readied himself as if he had somewhere to be, a nice hot shower and a good shave. When it came to getting dressed, he paused a little longer than he thought he should have before pulling out a pair of jeans. Jeans for a third day in a row.
After making a pot of good coffee, he poured himself a tall cup and carried it outside onto the balcony. The morning was brisk, but not bitterly cold. The sun was sitting high in the sky as he sipped away at his coffee and stared out over the city, wondering if any of the office buildings he could see would ever be the one to call his own. He tried not to feel... well, lonely, as he thought of his empty cubicle and wondered how long it would be before it became inhabited by someone else. Maybe my next one will have a window, he thought hopefully to himself before slipping back inside with an empty mug that was ready to be refilled.
Isaac took the second cup of coffee to the desk that sat in the living room. He waited while his desktop computer booted up and glanced around his lonely surroundings. It was much quieter than the office, he decided, too quiet. After turning the radio onto his favourite station, he took a sip of his coffee and spun in his chair to face his computer, ready to begin his job hunt. He perused one web site and found not a single lead, but a second web site brought up an ad from a firm he recognized. After he scanned the job requirements, he searched the documents on his hard drive for his resume, he had some updating to do.
The resume had ended up taking longer than Isaac had expected and he was nearly to the bottom of his third cup of coffee as he gave the finely polished and revised document a final once-over. Sipping down the last of the coffee, he pressed save and decided that he deserved a break before conquering the cover letter. Standing up, he stretched his arms above his head and looked out the large window and over the city. Life was bustling outside, and inside his new world, Isaac still felt not quite comfortable. He carried his empty coffee mug to the kitchen and rinsed it out before gingerly laying it inside the dishwasher.
Outside was beautiful and bright and sunny. Isaac decided that a walk would give his mind the clarity that he needed to focus on a cover letter. Writing these things took a little more effort than he'd remembered and he'd worked up an appetite. He took the familiar side walk towards the down town core, feeling as though he were enjoying a lazy Saturday, but with a lot less traffic. The late morning left the city quiet; most people were tucked away in their office buildings and the cars were parked underground and up high too. Anywhere they could fit. Stumbling upon his favourite deli, Isaac slipped inside and ordered himself a sandwich. At first he thought he'd take it home, but decided to stay at the restaurant instead - he really had no agenda for the day and no one would notice if he was 'late' to return from his 'lunch break'. The freedom was both satisfying and a little nerve wracking as well; nothing was stopping him from spending the rest of the day slipping in and out of the shops, killing time looking over everything from musical instruments to paintings to whatever else he might find. The down town district he lived in was artsy and full of life; he finally had time to explore it but knew that he should be productive instead. He told himself that he'd find some time for himself to go wandering after he was done his work but part of him knew that he might not actually follow through with it.
As he finished his sandwich, he watched a few people saunter down the side walk. He wished that he had someone to spend the day with; a friend, a boyfriend, he'd even take the company of his brother. Even if Zac wasn't much of a conversationalist; company wasn't all about what you did together, sometimes it was simply nice to be together. He hoped that his next job would offer him a little bit more of a work life balance, or at least, wouldn't exhaust him to the point that he could do more than come home and sleep. Dating wasn't as simple as just having time to spend, Isaac knew, but he wondered if it might be a start. He didn't want to think about the personal obstacles that stood between him and relationships; that was a grey area and he preferred to keep things simple. Black and white.
Isaac dusted off the lonely feelings as he left the restaurant, willing himself to go home and finish up the work he had left to do, knowing that the satisfaction of a job well done would make up for any loneliness. At least, he hoped it would. Before he returned to the apartment, he stopped at a small shop and bought himself a case of beer. A reward, he thought, for after he was finished his cover letter and had sent it off with his resume. A drink for luck.
The thought of relaxing with beer and ordering a pizza was what got Isaac through the tedious chore of the letter. He hated writing about himself; he felt as if although he had a lot of great skills, he lacked the ability to write about them. More of a modest man than a showman, he hesitated before writing about his best skills, not wanting to sound conceited or oversell himself, either. But the industry was competitive, so he pushed through, hoping that what he'd finished would be enough to entice them to call. After proofing the document several times, he attached it in a PDF with the resume and sent it off to the address that was listed in the job ad. Because it wasn't quite five, he felt it too early to 'quit' for the day and found another website to search ads on. Sure enough, he found one more ad. With the cover letter finished, he was able to adjust and edit it enough to suit the other firm and he sent off a second copy of both documents and felt especially accomplished. Stretching out his arms, he pushed himself back from the desk and sighed, feeling satisfied with a job well done, just as he'd hoped.
Initially, Isaac had enjoyed sinking into the couch and cracking open a beer. He downed the first one while watching something on the television, but as he popped open the second one, he started to wish that he had someone to share the evening with. Outside, the sun was setting over the city and Isaac looked out the large window and across the skyline. Somewhere out there, he thought to himself, there must be someone who felt as lonely as he did. When he thought of the people that he used to consider friends, the guys that he'd met and hung out with during high school, he knew that most of them had 'settled down'. He'd made a few friends in college, but by the final year, competition for internships had soured most friendships. Any efforts to keep touch with the ones he had managed to salvage bonds with had become increasingly sparse as his life became hectic.
Though living down town offered opportunity for social gatherings and meeting new people, if nothing more, at bars or at clubs, Isaac had rarely bothered to go. He'd always chalked it up to being too tired from work, but even with an empty span of time ahead of him, Isaac still felt no draw to leave his apartment for the seedy bar that rest on the corner. Or any bar, for that matter. Though he wanted to meet someone, he had a feeling that that particular setting would fail to yield the desired result. He'd spent his share of time in bars, he hadn't always felt so opposed to them, after all. When he'd first moved to the loft, he thought that living in the core of the entertainment district would be incredible. Before he'd started working - there was a brief span of time that he took to having a night life. A handful of guys or perhaps a couple more, had seen the apartment and his bedroom as well. Isaac couldn't remember much about any of them, not a single one had offered him anything more than pleasure. There was a time that that had been enough, but now it just didn't appeal. He needed more.
But he felt at a loss in regards to figuring out how to find it.
The last person that had ever really made his mind wander in that direction, the last man that had really stimulated something other than his sex drive. His stomach twisted up and he reached for his beer as his mind began to grow hazy. Jordan. Isaac had managed to push the pretty blond gentleman from his thoughts for several weeks and here he was creeping in again. He couldn't help but remember the night that they'd shared; not only what had transpired between them physically but before that as well. There had been something about the way that Jordan held his stare when they talked and the way it felt to have someone who listened. He acted as though he cared. Isaac also remembered, all at once, the way Jordan had looked at him. He heard again, the icy-ness of his tone. It still confused him; how could Jordan have been one person, someone who he seemed to share a connection with, and then when Isaac saw him again, he acted even more cold than a stranger. And his name was Taylor? There were so many things that made no sense to Isaac; and as he finished his second beer, he decided that he wasn't going to figure them out on his own. He hoped that a third beer would shake the blond from his mind.
Halfway through the bottle, Isaac had decided a couple of things. For one, the beer hadn't done much to free him from thinking of Jordan - or Taylor. Whoever he was. And secondly, he didn't feel the most proud of drinking on his own. Isaac had hoped that the alcohol would offer him a distraction from the loneliness that he felt, but instead, it felt as if it had been amplified. The condo was large and completely void of life - except for himself. He didn't own a house plant - let alone a pet, he had always deemed himself too busy. He'd isolated himself, hoping for a quiet and peaceful place to relax and mostly sleep when he wasn't at work. It suddenly felt like a place he wanted to escape from, not unwind in. Where could he go? The bars or the people there just really didn't appeal to him - especially the crowd that would turn up on a Monday night. The clubs wouldn't even be open, not that he could stand the pounding music. The coffee shop? He doubted that showing up halfway drunk would be appropriate. Picking up his cellphone, he scrolled the contact list. There had to be someone that he could reach out to.
He paused on one of the names - Douglas - a friend from university that he'd shared text messages with a couple months prior. He opened up a new message but found he was unsure of what to say. Douglas lived in another state now and it wasn't as if they could hang out. Isaac closed the message and continued to scroll the list. The name Ryan made him stop - Ryan had been the bass player from the garage band he'd dedicated so many years of his life to. It had been a long time - much longer than the span for Douglas - since Isaac had talked to him. He remembered one of their last conversations, they'd shared it over a beer in Ryan's backyard on the same patio that they'd played music on during so many warm summer nights. Isaac had decided that Ryan didn't "understand" his decision to move away for University and to study something so... bland. He confided to Isaac that he thought he was giving in to his parents expectations. Isaac hadn't really felt good about the things that Ryan had said to him, but he didn't want to fight with his friend either. They had enjoyed their last evenings together before Isaac moved away but hadn't spoken much since. Isaac stared at the last message, a rather generic birthday greeting that had probably been sent out of guilt and not genuine interest.
Just how had life gotten in the way of all of the things that had once made him happy? Isaac wondered sadly to himself as he carried the empty beer bottle to the kitchen and put it in the recycling bin with the others. He couldn't recall the last time he played his guitar and more sadly, he couldn't remember the last time he'd even thought about it. When had he stopped trying to maintain any of his friendships? As a teenager, he'd been spontaneous. He would take his little car out on long joy rides with the music cranked for no reason other than to escape for an hour or so. He might have picked up a friend or he might have flown solo - being alone hadn't felt nearly as lonely then, he decided. Life had been punctuated with excitement - a trip with friends to the lake or a weekend at a cottage or maybe even camping. Mountain bikes and later motor bikes, ripping through trails and between trees. He had always longed for his brother to be more involved but his friends sufficed; they felt like brothers once. Isaac regretted not feeling closer to his actual brother but he hoped that it wasn't too late. The upcoming weekend was something that he was still looking forward to; it was company, after all. He wouldn't be alone, and maybe he could even pretend that his life held some element of normalcy or a link to it's past. If nothing more, it was a break in the monotony that had overwhelmed him as of late.
Isaac spotted a newspaper on the breakfast nook and found himself drawn to it. He'd read all of the major articles and most of the lesser important as well. He'd skipped the 'family and life' section but as he flipped through the pages, he knew that he was after something else. Isaac shifted his weight as he neared the end of the publication, the final pages that were full of classified ads for everything under the sun. On the very last page in the bottom left hand corner, a bright red advertisement caught his eye and he suddenly knew how he was going to fill his evening.
Reaching for his cellphone, Isaac remembered how nervous and anxious he had felt the first time that he'd dialled the number in the same advertisement. He had been so caught up thinking about how he might be perceived by not only the person on the other end of the phone, but the person who would actually show up. Isaac had never wanted to be someone who had to pay for company, after all - was he really that pathetic? But this evening, his mood was entirely different. He felt his heart begin to pound as he dialled in the numbers and brought the phone to his ear. The phone call was not just a query but a quest - he had a specific goal in mind and he knew exactly who he wanted to spend the evening with. After all, there were a lot of questions that he needed answers to.
"Hello, thank you for calling Temptations, my name is Jackson. How are you doing this evening?"
Jackson again; Isaac recognized the pleasant young-sounding voice and took a deep breath. "I'm fine, thank you, Jackson. How are you?" It all felt so professional for... a prostitution service. But Isaac didn't mind the formality. He knew what he was looking for and he hoped that he would find it.
"I'm wonderful, thank you! How can I help you this evening? Have you called us before?" A soft giggle came from the other end of the line.
"I have... I was actually hoping I could request someone specific." Isaac held his breath.
"Of course you can, sweetheart! What was your name? Will it be for tonight?"
"Tonight would be dandy - and my name is Isaac."
"Wonderful!... And who were you looking for, Isaac?" Jackson giggled again.
"Jordan."
No giggle. Just a long pause. Isaac felt his stomach flop; his throat tighten. Something didn't seem quite right.
"Jordan?" Jackson repeated. "I'm sorry to say that he won't be available."
"Oh." Isaac tried to hide the disappointment from his voice but he hadn't been too successful.
"I'm sorry, love..." Jackson paused. "Can I interest you in anyone else? We have a really lov-"
"No" Isaac cut him off. "Thank you." He added. "I was just looking specifically for him...is he booked tonight?"
Jackson paused, seemingly disappointed. He'd lost a sale, after all, Isaac supposed. Monday's couldn't have been the most busy.... so was Jordan already taken, or what? Isaac felt a little bit nauseous at the thought that he might be... popular. He suddenly felt very stupid and ashamed for calling - what had he really been expecting?
"Listen" Jackson said quietly, his tone more serious but not harsh. "I'm not really supposed to say anything like this... but you seem sweet. Jordan doesn't work for us any more - we can't find him..." Another pause. "You're not the only one looking for him."