The first tale in the book

[forgivesusan]

Who is that boastful bard who thinks he can spin a tale as fine as Twp? Here he comes in lively livery, that colorful creature welcome in every faire and hall. He stands at command of King Henry, the greatest king that ever lived, and in Henry’s court he shall tell any tale the royal court commands

Comments

[peau_de_soie]

Is Faire a city? If it is a city, then when you are using the name say "going to Faire," as opposed to "the Faire."

[forgivesusan]

check.

Faire is not a city, but the annual faire given by the king.

In The Magic Bag it is the same Faire that the reader is attending right now, and we are assured that King Henry's court witnessed the whole thing.

In The Golden Knight the faire is a predisesor of the same Faire the reader is attending, only many, many years ago.

In Prince by Moonlight there is a faire given by the princess to celebrate her recovery, so I suppose that one wouldn't get Proper Noun status.

But I get you -- you either go to Faire or to the faire.

[peau_de_soie]

Who is that boastful bard who thinks he can spin a tale as fine as Twp? Here he comes in lively livery, that colorful creature welcome in every faire and hall. He stands at command of King Henry, the greatest king to have ever lived (couldn't decide between "who" and "whom"), and in Henry’s court he shall tell any tale the royal court commands.

Will do more later; right now my fever is demanding I take a nap.

[forgivesusan]

You are advising despite a fever? You're amazing.

I think I'll just write "The greatest king that ever lived" and not worry about it.

Part 1

[jamimegan]

She is gracious and she is wise, and she has called upon Twp to tell the children her favorite story; the story of The Magic Bag.

That semicolon should be a colon.

“You are welcome to what I have” said the man, “but I have nothing. Indeed, I have more children than I can count and nothing to feed them. “Very well,” spoke the proud and handsome man.

You need an ending quotation mark after the man speaks: ...nothing to feed them."

Well, very soon it was decided and Ira, the oldest daughter, was bundled up to go away with the young man, whether she would or no.

There needs to be a comma after “decided,” and the last word should be “not.”

until his sister sent him away, and told him to take himself deep into the woods and practice his magic

No comma.

she wept to leave the Fair City

Should this be Faire? If it’s just a generic phrase meaning a nice city, I wouldn’t capitalize.

“How long must I be your servant” she said, “And when may I see home again?”There should be a question mark after “servant,” and then after “said” there

Re: Part 1

[jamimegan]

Regarding "Fair City," I just read your other entry, with the notes about Faire vs. Fair, and I think here it's okay to capitalize, but it would make more sense if you removed the "the" before Fair City.

Re: Part 1

[forgivesusan]

thanks! I'll make the changes as soon as I have time.

Re: Part 1

[forgivesusan]

Thank you very, very much for these suggestions.

Would you have time in the next few days to look at/comment on the rest?

THANKS!!!!!!!!!