(no subject)
so im back and i have been really happy I talked to my cousin for the first time in years... a real conversation too not just one about drugs like the other ones we used to have. She is doing so much better and everyone who knows is so proud of her. I think you really just need to know how things were before to really know or understand how much better things are and how big this really is. She talked to me about the place shes staying at, it's like $100 a week and there's NA meetings she goes to, they helped her get a job, and she's beginning to see a lot of old friends going to the meetings and she has a new boyfriend, she's so much happier.
I know you guys probably don't really care but I am so happy about it that I am going to write almost everything here.
Where should I start... I asked her how long she had been doing meth for a she said about a year and i asked how often she did it, like every day, ever couple hours and she was like "about every 5 minutes" and I was like "wow didn't that cost a lot too" - "nope didn't cost me a fucking dime. my friends got me high."
and we were talking about her new bf and she was like, "well see, i used to have really low self esteem and i always thought that no guy would ever like me because i was kinda fat and then so i started doing meth and that kept me at like 120 pounds and so i got guys and stuff but of course they weren't good ya know, but now that i've stopped and all this has happened, i've gained weight but now its like more guys like me now then they did when I was all messed up and shit."
and she was telling me that about half her friends right now are in jail and one is getting life because he killed their friend and i was like wtf and shes like "he shot him four times in the chest. Thats what meth does to you. i got to the point where i almost seriously killed someone and thats when I was like whoa i can't do this anymore"
She told me how she wasn't sure if she wanted to move back, because you know all her friends are their, she'd have to find a new job, save up money for a car. so i asked if she was going to go to college or something and shes like well i still have to get my ged i haven't gone to school since i was like 15. but, i want to go to college and thats another reason i dont really want to leave yet because they will pay for all my college. how fucking great is that, they will pay for her college. so she will probably come here and visit or something once she gets off probation and her year is up and stuff but she will go back there.
my uncle, on the other hand, once again, isn't doing to well at all. he's been going to my grandma's a lot, which he usually does a lot anyway, which i guess is somewhat good because its a few hours out of the day that he's not drinking. but he's really upset about linsey graduating and not being able to see and stuff and go to her party b/c he wasn't invited. he told my grandma he wants to kill himself but i really dont know i think he really doesn't want to because he has been like that for a while kind of and i just think he wants to get better and get things straight but he has to do it for himself and stuff and he hasn't realized all that yet.so, mandy has heard and all that so she was going to call grandma and see if he was there and talk to him and stuff and hopefully try to get him down there with her and go to a place like she's going and get his life straight and stuff. we all think its a good idea and that it would work but even if it doesn't atleast he will be some where warm for the winters. So I know she called and talked to him but i dont know what really was said and whats going on and stuff and i wanted to talk to my cousin but shes not online and i can just call her tomorrow or something.
I hope he goes and things change i am so happy for mandy you have no idea. omg she told me where she went to jail, tent city. shes like its the worst prision in the us, they send a lot of people east to out here to go to here there's a lot of fights and shit and you sleep in tents and its really really bad. and she just told me all about it and it really scared me. She was telling me all this stuff and shes like "you don't want to get into that. you don't want to be like me. i know its not what you want to hear, but you don't. you know i can't even get an apartment right now because i am a convicted felon. I can't get an apartment until after im off probation then it will be put on as a misdemenor." but its prolly good she can't get an apartment.
i am so tired im going to go to sleep we got up early and babysat her little cousin. lol we were eating these little popsicles over there and we were on the couch and he was in his highchair thing watching tv and eating the popsicle and all of a sudden he starts screaming and hes like pointing in his diaper and we jump up and he dropped the popsicle down his diaper lol it was the funniest thing though.
I know you guys probably don't really care but I am so happy about it that I am going to write almost everything here.
Where should I start... I asked her how long she had been doing meth for a she said about a year and i asked how often she did it, like every day, ever couple hours and she was like "about every 5 minutes" and I was like "wow didn't that cost a lot too" - "nope didn't cost me a fucking dime. my friends got me high."
and we were talking about her new bf and she was like, "well see, i used to have really low self esteem and i always thought that no guy would ever like me because i was kinda fat and then so i started doing meth and that kept me at like 120 pounds and so i got guys and stuff but of course they weren't good ya know, but now that i've stopped and all this has happened, i've gained weight but now its like more guys like me now then they did when I was all messed up and shit."
and she was telling me that about half her friends right now are in jail and one is getting life because he killed their friend and i was like wtf and shes like "he shot him four times in the chest. Thats what meth does to you. i got to the point where i almost seriously killed someone and thats when I was like whoa i can't do this anymore"
She told me how she wasn't sure if she wanted to move back, because you know all her friends are their, she'd have to find a new job, save up money for a car. so i asked if she was going to go to college or something and shes like well i still have to get my ged i haven't gone to school since i was like 15. but, i want to go to college and thats another reason i dont really want to leave yet because they will pay for all my college. how fucking great is that, they will pay for her college. so she will probably come here and visit or something once she gets off probation and her year is up and stuff but she will go back there.
my uncle, on the other hand, once again, isn't doing to well at all. he's been going to my grandma's a lot, which he usually does a lot anyway, which i guess is somewhat good because its a few hours out of the day that he's not drinking. but he's really upset about linsey graduating and not being able to see and stuff and go to her party b/c he wasn't invited. he told my grandma he wants to kill himself but i really dont know i think he really doesn't want to because he has been like that for a while kind of and i just think he wants to get better and get things straight but he has to do it for himself and stuff and he hasn't realized all that yet.so, mandy has heard and all that so she was going to call grandma and see if he was there and talk to him and stuff and hopefully try to get him down there with her and go to a place like she's going and get his life straight and stuff. we all think its a good idea and that it would work but even if it doesn't atleast he will be some where warm for the winters. So I know she called and talked to him but i dont know what really was said and whats going on and stuff and i wanted to talk to my cousin but shes not online and i can just call her tomorrow or something.
I hope he goes and things change i am so happy for mandy you have no idea. omg she told me where she went to jail, tent city. shes like its the worst prision in the us, they send a lot of people east to out here to go to here there's a lot of fights and shit and you sleep in tents and its really really bad. and she just told me all about it and it really scared me. She was telling me all this stuff and shes like "you don't want to get into that. you don't want to be like me. i know its not what you want to hear, but you don't. you know i can't even get an apartment right now because i am a convicted felon. I can't get an apartment until after im off probation then it will be put on as a misdemenor." but its prolly good she can't get an apartment.
i am so tired im going to go to sleep we got up early and babysat her little cousin. lol we were eating these little popsicles over there and we were on the couch and he was in his highchair thing watching tv and eating the popsicle and all of a sudden he starts screaming and hes like pointing in his diaper and we jump up and he dropped the popsicle down his diaper lol it was the funniest thing though.