faster.
"As the ground is getting closer there is no point getting the safety net."
A lot has happened in my life after coming back from Taiwan. A lot of it is too private but I need to write it down. I need some sort of relief that I know I won't be able to receive from talking about it.
I wonder what everyones definition of cheating is. I wonder if cheating means having sex with someone. For me, cheating means doing something dumb & not living up to it.
Basically my bf didn't cheat on me but it has led me into a room of sudden chaos. It all started when I was gone in Taiwan. People like chatting online & he chatted to many girls online. I found out two weeks ago he was talking to people & lied that he didn't have a girlfriend. I was very hurt but forgave him a few days later. Then 2 days ago I found out that he met this girl... twice & took our dog to meet her as well. It's pretty fucked up but I forgave him because he chose to tell me the truth & he spoke to that girl. He also deleted every account he has & gave me all his passwords. He's changing his number & he cried harder then me. The reason why I would forgive him is because he lived up to his mistake and took care of it the way I wanted him to. He also knows what he did was wrong, but it wasn't like he fucked another girl.
Before I left we were fighting really badly. We fought everyday but I slept next to him daily. His life consisted of me and work and our dog. For some reason before I left everything he did bothered me. I didn't want to talk to him & I didn't want a sexual life with him as well. We were basically to people who slept next to each other with so much missing. I can understand why he would do what he did and I forgive him but I can't say it doesn't bother me. I remember when he picked me up at the airport .. the feeling we had. The way he looked at me & I knew we fell in love again. I hugged him & I felt like I had butterflies running around my body. He even said before me that I was giving him butterflies. That was when we both learned that there's so much more to our relationship then what we thought.
Now here is the part where I'm so fucked up.
I talked to that girl on his yahoo & that's how I found out that she actually believed he would like her. She thought he was into her, but men are men. I know I mean everything to him & I know I have him wrapped around my fingers. As bad as that sounds.. it's because I give him all the love I can & the bond we have is something I can't explain. Apparently when I came back he stopped talking to everyone, only focusing on me because he knew he was wrong. I snooped around his yahoo & figured his password. I spoke to her pretending to be him. i saw her picture & I felt so angry. I am better.
The thing that bothered me about this girl the most was the fact that she just wouldn't let it go. He doesn't care that why he doesn't answer your texts or your phone calls. He didn't bother calling you in a month because he doesn't even care. Even when he told her in front of me that he was sorry and he wasn't able to speak to her anymore she asked him if they could be friends.
A lot has happened in my life after coming back from Taiwan. A lot of it is too private but I need to write it down. I need some sort of relief that I know I won't be able to receive from talking about it.
I wonder what everyones definition of cheating is. I wonder if cheating means having sex with someone. For me, cheating means doing something dumb & not living up to it.
Basically my bf didn't cheat on me but it has led me into a room of sudden chaos. It all started when I was gone in Taiwan. People like chatting online & he chatted to many girls online. I found out two weeks ago he was talking to people & lied that he didn't have a girlfriend. I was very hurt but forgave him a few days later. Then 2 days ago I found out that he met this girl... twice & took our dog to meet her as well. It's pretty fucked up but I forgave him because he chose to tell me the truth & he spoke to that girl. He also deleted every account he has & gave me all his passwords. He's changing his number & he cried harder then me. The reason why I would forgive him is because he lived up to his mistake and took care of it the way I wanted him to. He also knows what he did was wrong, but it wasn't like he fucked another girl.
Before I left we were fighting really badly. We fought everyday but I slept next to him daily. His life consisted of me and work and our dog. For some reason before I left everything he did bothered me. I didn't want to talk to him & I didn't want a sexual life with him as well. We were basically to people who slept next to each other with so much missing. I can understand why he would do what he did and I forgive him but I can't say it doesn't bother me. I remember when he picked me up at the airport .. the feeling we had. The way he looked at me & I knew we fell in love again. I hugged him & I felt like I had butterflies running around my body. He even said before me that I was giving him butterflies. That was when we both learned that there's so much more to our relationship then what we thought.
Now here is the part where I'm so fucked up.
I talked to that girl on his yahoo & that's how I found out that she actually believed he would like her. She thought he was into her, but men are men. I know I mean everything to him & I know I have him wrapped around my fingers. As bad as that sounds.. it's because I give him all the love I can & the bond we have is something I can't explain. Apparently when I came back he stopped talking to everyone, only focusing on me because he knew he was wrong. I snooped around his yahoo & figured his password. I spoke to her pretending to be him. i saw her picture & I felt so angry. I am better.
The thing that bothered me about this girl the most was the fact that she just wouldn't let it go. He doesn't care that why he doesn't answer your texts or your phone calls. He didn't bother calling you in a month because he doesn't even care. Even when he told her in front of me that he was sorry and he wasn't able to speak to her anymore she asked him if they could be friends.