Heartbeat
Youngmin/Kwangmin ; PG
--
The moonlight peeks shyly through the cracks of uneven blinds; in the midst of the quiet breathing and still heartbeats, the wandering dreams and the cold night winds, a boy lies awake in bed, staring up at the glow in the dark stars stuck on the ceiling. Sixteen, he counts. One for every year they’ve celebrated their birthday. He’s afraid to look to his side where a sleeping figure lies. Instead, he squeezes the other one’s hand slightly and closes his eyes, trying to slip into the confinements of sleep. The clock ticks softly, and the figure utters something quietly under their breath, something like ‘I love you’, and the boy’s heart flutters. He savours the moment, etches it in his memory, and tries to calm down the erratic beatings of his heart. Sleep comes to him soon, and an involuntary tear falls down his face as he tries to regulate his breathing.
One, two, three, and his eyelids flutter open once again. He sighs and decides to gather up enough courage to look. His eyes land upon those soft features, illuminated by the moonlight, making their beauty radiate even more. The boy smiles and places a small kiss on the figure’s forehead, before he gets up and drags his sleepy self to the bathroom. He lets the tap run, clutching the edge of the sink until his knuckles turn white. He hangs his head and tries to catch his breath, splashes some cold water on his face, and stares down at his reflection in the water.
“I love you too,”
But why does this feel so wrong?
He says quietly, grazing his fingertips gently against the surface of the water, distorting his image. He shakes his head and walks out of the bathroom, feeling a slight twinge in his heart. He can’t help it, can’t hold back the feeling; it’s hard not to fall, when every time he looks in the mirror, he sees the person he loves the most. He slips back into bed where the sleeping figure stirs slightly, and soon enough, the boy finds a pair of arms wrapped around his waist. He smiles sadly; their time is running out, he’s sure.
--
They’re laughing carelessly, airily, letting the breeze take them wherever it would. The sun is beating down on their skin and the smiles on their faces look picture perfect; like they can be etched upon their faces forever. The boy thinks that the other one’s smile shines brighter than the sun, and he tries not to get blinded by it as he steals glances from the passenger’s seat.
Once upon a time, things weren’t always like this. But somewhere along the way, the pieces just starts falling into place, and they end up where they are now. Where they are exactly, even they don’t know for sure. What they do know is that they want to stay there, forever, or as long as they can. Driven by the memories and their longing to be with one another, they move forward, not letting anything or anyone stop them.
But bam! There is a sudden impact, the sound of metal grinding against metal, the feel of broken glass scraping against their skins, the taste of rust in their mouths, and the smell of rubber burning against concrete. The boy closes his eyes and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, he’ll open them again and everything will disappear. No, this can’t be happening. He pries his eyelids open once more, but everything moves around in colourful swirls, and the last thing he hears is that voice, the voice he’s known his entire life, the one that whispers good morning to him every day, and goodnight before he goes to sleep. The rest is just black, and empty, and cold, and confusing.
--
The boy looks sadly upon the empty space beside his bed where he used to lie. He moves his fingers against the empty clothes hangers where his clothes use to hang. Everything about him is gone now, wiped out and erased, like he was never there, like he never existed. His smell doesn’t even linger in the sheets anymore. The boy feels his knees weaken, and he runs to the bathroom, quickly facing the mirror. His breath fogs it up a bit, and when he wipes it off with the back of his hand, he smiles and touches the surface of the mirror, laughing slightly to himself as tears start falling down his face.
“I missed you, I missed you so much. You’ll never leave, right? I’ll take care of your heart for you. You’ll always be with me.”
He clutches his chest painfully and sinks down on the floor, sobbing against his arm. The world suddenly feels so big, so empty, and so alone. But the steady beating of his heart in the boy’s chest tells him to be strong, to move on, and to face tomorrow with a smile.
--
I have no idea. This is probably confusing as hell, so ask away if you guys have questions lmao. Did this quickly and it's unedited. Woop.