I dont know
Well today, was hard. I kissed my grandmother good bye for the last time. I have had a rough week, but in this rough week, I know she is in a better place and is no longer suffering. The funeral was beautiful. It was at (?) I forgot the name, but is on St. Charles and Louisiana Ave. It was incredible. The set up felt like more of a celebration of life, than a mourning of a loss, which is exactly the medicine needed for many. I have never been a part of a private casket closing before, but lets just say it was very emotional. The loss, still hasnt hit me, but seeing my two brothers and mother crying in a corner hit me really hard. I couldnt cry, but all I could do was put my hands around them and offer words of encouragment. My mom is doing really well, in her being strong, is helping me get through alot. I was able to visit relatives that I havent seen in so long. The most shocking part of the day came when it was time for relatives to speak, and though I had something prepared, my younger bro. willingly went first to speak, and was incredible. I did not know how talented he was in speaking and how much, I and my grandmother meant to him. I went next, reading a prayer my grandfather picked out for my grandmothers funeral. The funeral ended with "God Bless America" and I was presented with a rose. Never again, will I be able to hear God Bless America the same way, now it has more meaning behing it than ever before. As the funeral ended and my grandmother was sent to rest, we headed back to 5 Newcomb to eat and drink. I met relatives and enjoyed myself the best I could for quite a few hours. I didnt know what to do, so I just chilled. Which was desperatley needed by the way. I decided to stay until about 8 o clock with my dad and left. When I got back, I didnt know what to do. I helped plan an exchange with Theta and Omega, and decided I had to go. I showed up late and in a tie. Many people asked why I was in a tie, etc. and I told them, and most were very responsive and helpful. I decided mostly to keep quite about everything, bc I dunno, Im always the one helping, so I guess I like to help myself, which I need to stop. I got to see Savanna, and some other friends, Big Snacks, Chuck, etc. I ran into Anna, who seemed to be the life of the party, and somehow, I dont know how convinced me to go to Bogies. I didnt think Bogies was the best idea at first, but in the end, I am very glad I went. It was just the medicine I needed, not getting drunk, which I didnt, but being around friends and seeing people I havent seen in a while that I could actually talk to. The night ended early for me when I decided to leave and go home to beat the traffic. This entire week has been, I dunno even know how to explain. Thank you to all who helped me in any way, I appreciate it. For some reason, to this day, its not hitting me that shes gone, but Im sure it will soon, so forgive me should I not be myself in the future. God Bless all of you, I love you all, and know that. Love like it was your last day alive, and live like there is no tommorrow.
Night
Night