watching the fanasies decay
Dear friend,
What do you do when your biggest nightmare becomes a reality? You see something coming for two days, but not it hasn't come. You can't catch your breath because you're just that paranoid. The, after the two days of being paranoid, your suspicions have been confirmed. Yet, nothing is for certain. Nothing is really ever certain, is it? No, I think now. I thought i had something good and pure. I knew it was too good to last. I wish you would just do what you're going to fucking do and stop leaving me hanging here. I feel like a duck flying in a flock trying to escape the hunter's bullet. I might escape, but it's looking unlikely. I don't want to be second best. I want to be you're number one in life, number two is fine. I can deal with number 2. As long as number 1 is yourself. Some of you might know what I'm talking about. Or at least have an idea. I don't know. I think I need a vacation. I need a weekend to myself so I can just spend a few days in bed, only leaving the security of my cotton cocoon to lay on my back and gaze at the stars. Wondering what's beyond the horizon that I can't see.
No, I don't want to talk about it.
Love,
Amanda
What do you do when your biggest nightmare becomes a reality? You see something coming for two days, but not it hasn't come. You can't catch your breath because you're just that paranoid. The, after the two days of being paranoid, your suspicions have been confirmed. Yet, nothing is for certain. Nothing is really ever certain, is it? No, I think now. I thought i had something good and pure. I knew it was too good to last. I wish you would just do what you're going to fucking do and stop leaving me hanging here. I feel like a duck flying in a flock trying to escape the hunter's bullet. I might escape, but it's looking unlikely. I don't want to be second best. I want to be you're number one in life, number two is fine. I can deal with number 2. As long as number 1 is yourself. Some of you might know what I'm talking about. Or at least have an idea. I don't know. I think I need a vacation. I need a weekend to myself so I can just spend a few days in bed, only leaving the security of my cotton cocoon to lay on my back and gaze at the stars. Wondering what's beyond the horizon that I can't see.
No, I don't want to talk about it.
Love,
Amanda