(no subject)
wow, livejournal. i love you so much.
its about that time. i'm feeling a little better, a little more on top of things. i thnk i'll be okay. i hate that i'm so panicky and self critical, but its just an obstacle that i have to deal with. everyone has their issues, and this is mine.
i really, really, reallu miss winterguard. if i could go back i would totally do fall guard this year, but i mean, i didn't, so now i just have to make sure that my parents let me do winterguard. i really, really want to do it. i mean, the actual guard work itself is just something that i love so much more than band. i love band, truly, but not as much as the feeling when i can finally nail a really difficult piece of choreography, because its so much harder for me than trumpet has ever been, so i feel a lot more accomplished.
not to mention guard girls. seriously. those are some of the most amazing people i know and i love them so much it hurts.
i think i've finally decided that one of the reasons i'm so uptight is that i've put too much responsibility on myself. i don't respond well to pressure, and i don't think thats really a bad thing. naturally i'm a very laid back person, so when i get put into a high stress environment i just can't function. its odd. i think i just need to remember that when i think about what i want to accomplish. i need to stop feeling obligated to things and start focusing on things i really care about.
*sigh*
high school is so confusing. life is so confusing. it all changes so fast, the story being written at warp speed. sometimes i wonder what would happen if we all just slowed down.....
this weekend was great. i was with the macleans and my sister all of saturday. it was great, we went shopping (julia went shopping with just me and linz for a little while too) and then we went to a maclean family game night, which was a BLAST. i love that family so so much. i love those girls so so much.
and then today i hung out with katie after youth, it was becca's brithday, it was just a good day.
:]]]
its about that time. i'm feeling a little better, a little more on top of things. i thnk i'll be okay. i hate that i'm so panicky and self critical, but its just an obstacle that i have to deal with. everyone has their issues, and this is mine.
i really, really, reallu miss winterguard. if i could go back i would totally do fall guard this year, but i mean, i didn't, so now i just have to make sure that my parents let me do winterguard. i really, really want to do it. i mean, the actual guard work itself is just something that i love so much more than band. i love band, truly, but not as much as the feeling when i can finally nail a really difficult piece of choreography, because its so much harder for me than trumpet has ever been, so i feel a lot more accomplished.
not to mention guard girls. seriously. those are some of the most amazing people i know and i love them so much it hurts.
i think i've finally decided that one of the reasons i'm so uptight is that i've put too much responsibility on myself. i don't respond well to pressure, and i don't think thats really a bad thing. naturally i'm a very laid back person, so when i get put into a high stress environment i just can't function. its odd. i think i just need to remember that when i think about what i want to accomplish. i need to stop feeling obligated to things and start focusing on things i really care about.
*sigh*
high school is so confusing. life is so confusing. it all changes so fast, the story being written at warp speed. sometimes i wonder what would happen if we all just slowed down.....
this weekend was great. i was with the macleans and my sister all of saturday. it was great, we went shopping (julia went shopping with just me and linz for a little while too) and then we went to a maclean family game night, which was a BLAST. i love that family so so much. i love those girls so so much.
and then today i hung out with katie after youth, it was becca's brithday, it was just a good day.
:]]]