Tick Tock
I woke up this morning to the sound of my cat throwing up next to my bed. Lovely.
I’ve decided that my friends need to transfer to Bryn Mawr. The female ones at least. The male ones can go to Haverford, or Swarthmore if they so choose. This would solve the problem of me missing them terribly whenever I’m not in their presence. Because I do, physically at times, and it’s occurred to me that if things stay the way they are, I’m probably never going to spend time with them the way I used to, back when we all lived in the same place. Things are changing, circumstances if nothing else, and it scares me.
Last night I went to a (horrible) late movie with a friend. Afterwards we went to a diner and ordered waffles with mountains of whipped cream and ate jam straight out of the little containers. I don’t quite remember what we talked about, only that the words came easily and fast and that I felt alive and open and safe and invincible. It’d been a while since I’d felt that particular combination. When I got home I couldn’t sleep so I went for a run. It’s strange how similar exercise, meditation and music are in terms of the effects they have on me. All three help me achieve a kind of quiet focus; my thoughts flow without anxiety and I feel in my body in a way that’s unusual.
A different friend is turning 19 today. Time is passing, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.
I’ve decided that my friends need to transfer to Bryn Mawr. The female ones at least. The male ones can go to Haverford, or Swarthmore if they so choose. This would solve the problem of me missing them terribly whenever I’m not in their presence. Because I do, physically at times, and it’s occurred to me that if things stay the way they are, I’m probably never going to spend time with them the way I used to, back when we all lived in the same place. Things are changing, circumstances if nothing else, and it scares me.
Last night I went to a (horrible) late movie with a friend. Afterwards we went to a diner and ordered waffles with mountains of whipped cream and ate jam straight out of the little containers. I don’t quite remember what we talked about, only that the words came easily and fast and that I felt alive and open and safe and invincible. It’d been a while since I’d felt that particular combination. When I got home I couldn’t sleep so I went for a run. It’s strange how similar exercise, meditation and music are in terms of the effects they have on me. All three help me achieve a kind of quiet focus; my thoughts flow without anxiety and I feel in my body in a way that’s unusual.
A different friend is turning 19 today. Time is passing, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.