What to do?
Your boyfriend's friends come between you and your relationship?
When they turn him against you?
When they treat you like dirt and don't even know you?
(Where do I run when things get bad?)
You see, I moved out here on the ambition to go to school, and on the hopes and dreams to meet some friends, get to know people, and have a good time, along with find the love of my life.
No.No.No.
It's all falling apart at the seams.
I made...bonds...only to find they are breaking...
I can't help but feel, betrayed, angry, lost...regretful...
I don't understand why I'm the bad guy to everyone now...why women can make these silent pacts and all of the sudden your name is dirt...why when I think I'm doing fine, I still can't make up the difference in my relationship.
This is why I'm not friends with a lot of girls...or guys for that matter.
Girls are ruthless, they take everything you know and love away from you, and don't care one way or another what kind of reprocussions it has, just that they decide they can control your life and manipulate every little aspect of it, and then turn around and be as cold as ice...
What did I do to deserve getting kicked to the shit list?
Whatever, it doesn't matter, I still will never recover from being so upset over last week.
Maybe I'm just too focused on my friends so that my boyfriend is jealous..who knows..I just hate the feeling I have now. I hate feeling that I'm out of control and that I feel like I'm flying off the handle when really IT WAS a big deal last week.
I'm considering seeing a therapist. For a lot of things. Mostly what I have not addressed in my past with the men who have hurt me..and moreso now the fact that I have hurt Joe right back..unintentional or otherwise, I can't live with myself for hurting someone I claim to love..
Thing is..I discovered something that sounds like me..
[ Pre-Menstrual Exacerbation -- Mood, Emotional, and Psychiatric Problems
A number of mental and emotional problems may also get worse pre-menstrually. Depression, substance abuse, self-mutilation, anxiety, and eating disorders can get worse. The problem here is distinguishing between standard PMS and Pre-Menstrual Exacerbation. The key is that standard PMS' symptoms disappear in the first two weeks after menstruation. Pre-menstrual Exacerbation's symptoms merely get better. Almost all severe mood problems that are cyclic are pre-menstrual exacerbation, as they don't completely disappear during the post-menstrual phase.
Psychiatry has coined a number of terms and symptoms that essentially make PMS a psychiatric disorder. This is controversial and without clear evidence. In these cases, a woman is best off focusing on treating the underlying psychiatric disorder and not focusing on the pre-menstrual aspect. Standard psychiatric treatments such as anti-depressants or anti-anxiety drugs throughout the month work best. Taking these medications only the week before menstruation or manipulating hormones is not advised. -credit: http://www.estronaut.com/a/other_cyclic_changes.htm ]
And I am not self-diagnosing. I know I've always had issues. I want to get it checked out atop the factor that I am having issues with the last 3 years that I have been coping with sexual trauma. I can't imagine how hard it has to be for other people that have dealt with this trauma their whole lives...
Anyway..enough guilt tripping for now..thing is that I need help..and I will try to force myself out of situations with Joe's friends..because it doesn't matter, and if he goes to another photo shoot (which he said he will, regardless of my feelings, and now that nobody likes me even more, well, ha, I am not going to be invited.) I just don't want to have anything to do with them.
When they turn him against you?
When they treat you like dirt and don't even know you?
(Where do I run when things get bad?)
You see, I moved out here on the ambition to go to school, and on the hopes and dreams to meet some friends, get to know people, and have a good time, along with find the love of my life.
No.No.No.
It's all falling apart at the seams.
I made...bonds...only to find they are breaking...
I can't help but feel, betrayed, angry, lost...regretful...
I don't understand why I'm the bad guy to everyone now...why women can make these silent pacts and all of the sudden your name is dirt...why when I think I'm doing fine, I still can't make up the difference in my relationship.
This is why I'm not friends with a lot of girls...or guys for that matter.
Girls are ruthless, they take everything you know and love away from you, and don't care one way or another what kind of reprocussions it has, just that they decide they can control your life and manipulate every little aspect of it, and then turn around and be as cold as ice...
What did I do to deserve getting kicked to the shit list?
Whatever, it doesn't matter, I still will never recover from being so upset over last week.
Maybe I'm just too focused on my friends so that my boyfriend is jealous..who knows..I just hate the feeling I have now. I hate feeling that I'm out of control and that I feel like I'm flying off the handle when really IT WAS a big deal last week.
I'm considering seeing a therapist. For a lot of things. Mostly what I have not addressed in my past with the men who have hurt me..and moreso now the fact that I have hurt Joe right back..unintentional or otherwise, I can't live with myself for hurting someone I claim to love..
Thing is..I discovered something that sounds like me..
[ Pre-Menstrual Exacerbation -- Mood, Emotional, and Psychiatric Problems
A number of mental and emotional problems may also get worse pre-menstrually. Depression, substance abuse, self-mutilation, anxiety, and eating disorders can get worse. The problem here is distinguishing between standard PMS and Pre-Menstrual Exacerbation. The key is that standard PMS' symptoms disappear in the first two weeks after menstruation. Pre-menstrual Exacerbation's symptoms merely get better. Almost all severe mood problems that are cyclic are pre-menstrual exacerbation, as they don't completely disappear during the post-menstrual phase.
Psychiatry has coined a number of terms and symptoms that essentially make PMS a psychiatric disorder. This is controversial and without clear evidence. In these cases, a woman is best off focusing on treating the underlying psychiatric disorder and not focusing on the pre-menstrual aspect. Standard psychiatric treatments such as anti-depressants or anti-anxiety drugs throughout the month work best. Taking these medications only the week before menstruation or manipulating hormones is not advised. -credit: http://www.estronaut.com/a/other_cyclic_changes.htm ]
And I am not self-diagnosing. I know I've always had issues. I want to get it checked out atop the factor that I am having issues with the last 3 years that I have been coping with sexual trauma. I can't imagine how hard it has to be for other people that have dealt with this trauma their whole lives...
Anyway..enough guilt tripping for now..thing is that I need help..and I will try to force myself out of situations with Joe's friends..because it doesn't matter, and if he goes to another photo shoot (which he said he will, regardless of my feelings, and now that nobody likes me even more, well, ha, I am not going to be invited.) I just don't want to have anything to do with them.