Pulling Leather (Chapter 1)
Title: Pulling Leather -Chapter 1 (Sequel to Away From His Hand)
Current Mood: Determined
Current Music: You’ve Got A Friend by James Taylor
Author: forever9218
Pairing: Ennis and Jack
Genre: AU/Canon
Word Count: 5685
Jim’s Diamond Mountain, Upper End of the Napa Valley
“I’m sure as hell sorry, Jack. Know that you’d like to come with me. Just think it might be too soon is all.”
He wasn’t sure what the furrow in Jack’s brow meant, but he heard only sincerity in the next words spoken. “It’s alright. Jim will be here in a bit. And, we’ll get crackin’ on that fence for Loopy.” Jack paused for a moment, a smile coming on strong. “Ya just have a good time, and don’t forget to say “Hello,” to the girls for me.”
Ennis marveled at Jack’s ability to know just the right thing to say during tongue-tied moments like these.
“You bet.”
A half-nod followed the trademark response, although Ennis couldn’t help but quickly avert his eyes from the familiar appreciative gaze that had already locked in tight to distract and capsize his bearings. As so often happened, at letting go times like these, the intense blue focus that was staring back at him now, contrasted sharply with the seemingly laid-back nature of the leave-taking. More than practiced in the fine art of simply disappearing into the background, Ennis couldn’t help but feel awkward whenever Jack made sure he was not just being noticed, but that he was being fully desired in every way.
It had never been easy to leave Jack behind. Not up on Brokeback, when he kneeled in an alley to heave out what he later understood to be an unending heartsickness after he pushed Jack away. Or, years later when fishing trips became the only means to fleetingly reconnect away from the world. Even now, when he knew the man would still be waiting for him when he returned later in the evening, there was a tendency to prolong the departure, to stay a bit longer and just enjoy the having. Today, however, was an especially inopportune time to be loitering around, or to be sidetracked by the limitless temptations being offered. Not if he wanted to avoid the predictable wrath of Alma’s disapproval whenever he ran late picking up the girls. He probed for another cigarette inside the left chest pocket of his tan and cream plaid shirt, and gruffly cleared his throat to try to temper down the heat.
“Whatya lookin’ at? I spilt coffee on myself, or sumthin’?”
Smiling at the self conscious ways he never grew tired of inspiring, Jack stood up from the kitchen table and looked deep into dark brown eyes before linking his arms over the other man’s neck for a be-back-soon kiss. Once lips reluctantly separated, foreheads quickly came together for one last nuzzle, leaving flushed cheeks behind and both men breathless. Each one secretly relishing the familiar tang of nicotine and the habit-forming taste of something addictively flavorful that neither was quite sure how to describe, but both knew was unforgettably imprinted upon their hearts.
Even though he knew he should be going, Ennis was surprised how his right hand automatically reached out, apparently not ready to be on his way just yet, and gently stroked the soft skin on the nape of Jack’s neck. Feeling like he had everything he ever wanted right here in this moment, he lingered a bit more before kissing Jack firmly on the mouth, and grudgingly breaking away at last. Afraid if he stayed much longer he would never be able to leave at all.
“Gonna miss ya.”
“Shit, Jack. We’ve just spent the entire night and half the morning together. Aren’t you bored with me yet?
As if reading his man’s heart, Jack smiled brightly, before stealing another quick kiss, with enthusiastic conviction. Not the sort of momentary contact that was filled with hunger or desperation, but the kind of simple reconnection that came from the sheer contentment of finally having what had been desired after so many years apart.
Ennis chuckled and just shook his head at the audacity of the man standing across from him. Spending the day with his girls was usually one of his favorite pastimes, but on this particular Saturday morning he felt an uncharacteristic pull to stay right where he was. Counting the first day of their recent short-lived fishing trip, which seemed almost like a lifetime ago, he and Jack had been living together for nearly a month in Riverton now, Jack recuperating nicely and Loopy growing in leaps and bounds. Based on most people’s timetable, maybe such staying power was not an impressive stretch of domesticity, but for two people who had tortured themselves for nearly fifteen years of denial, he couldn’t ignore how easy his new life had become. Except for the one time two weeks ago, when Alma called to abruptly inform Ennis that the girls couldn’t see him that weekend because they were coming with her and Monroe to visit family out of town, nothing unusual or even the least bit threatening had occurred.
For the first time since he was nineteen, he had to admit that the days were flying by faster than what his mother liked to compare to the slice of a hot knife through refrigerated butter. What was even more surprising than how one airily greeted sunrise soon gave way to another anticipated sunset was how, instead of his interest beginning to wane from overexposure, he found his need for Jack actually had grown with each passing day. Ever since that groundbreaking Sunday barbecue with Jim, he had come home every night after work, a prepared meal on the kitchen table, and a welcoming kiss from the man he apparently could never get enough of, no matter how much time he spent in Jack’s company. Deep down the bottomless need that continued to surge through him was something that he couldn’t help but wonder about, but for once in his lonely life he refused to ignore the obvious or second guess his contentment. They were together now and no one was going to take the one thing that pushed away the darkness and made him feel that he was exactly where he belonged.
After Jim kicked-off the day with his astonishingly accurate powers of observation, or as Jack liked to quip, the boy’s finely tuned “Queer-O-Meter” talents, the three-man Sunday cookout actually had gone off without a hitch. Even though Ennis hated to admit that a certain blue-eyed optimist had been right all along, he would have been hard pressed to remember a time when casual socializing ever felt that enjoyable. The one exception being those all too infrequent times he spent with Jack atop whatever mountain they found themselves, away from prying eyes and those who would mean to do them harm if given half a chance.
Never one to be low-key whether proven right or spectacularly off the mark, once Jim had left for home later that night, Jack had been determined to get Ennis to finally concede that his sourpuss predictions had been wrong. Fortunately for them both, Ennis had learned a few tricks along the way too and made sure that he needed a little more “convincing” before providing his final answer. Only after being worn down by some extensive mattress realignment, which was then followed by laid-back quality time just lying beside one another, fingers touching and voices pitched low, Ennis couldn’t help but confess that things had turned out alright after all. Of course, seeing as how Jack had never been gracious when occupying the winner’s circle, particularly when victory had been indisputably achieved, the crazy fool had burst out with a wacky eruption of hoots and hollers, which caused Lupine to join in with gusto before too long. Despite the ruckus created in the middle of the night, Ennis had to laugh full out until his stomach hurt from the unpracticed exertion, finally admitting that he didn’t much mind being wrong or reminded of his folly when such a crazy-ass comical display was the result.
Thinking back on that night several days later, Ennis remembered how he had pretty much braced himself for a livelier existence once he had decided to move forward with Jack by his side. But, after that frenzied experience, he began to come to terms with the realization that his world was going to become a hell of a lot nosier too. He grinned at the prospect, figuring he could learn to get use to the change, and made a mental note that a self preserving purchase of some earplugs might be in order, just in case.
Without a doubt, the get-together may have started off on the wrong foot, but once the grill had been fired up, and all three men had gathered in the backyard, the tense mood that had enveloped them earlier seemed to almost completely disperse into thin air. Jack may not have been too adept at the fine art of boiling water, but somehow he was terrific with a charcoal grill. The steaks ended up being cooked to perfection, which was complemented even further by the buttery garlic bread and extraordinary bottle of red wine Jim had brought along for the occasion. Having worked as some kind of chef’s assistant before a humbling cut and run to Wyoming last spring, Jim disclosed how he had learned an awful lot about viticulture and the finer subtleties involved with wine appreciation in general. Ennis had never particularly liked the stuff, but even he had to admit that the inky red selection had been the perfect accompaniment to the medium rare Rib Eye main course.
The one potential threat to the affable atmosphere happened when Ennis suddenly felt out of place after he discovered that Jack actually could pronounce the tongue twisting name of the type of wine they had been drinking. Although not much time had to elapse before the feeling of being cast aside was supplanted by something far warmer and much more sympathetic. The change in attitude developed once he realized that the expertise on display did not come from any kind of puffed-up boastfulness to be set apart or appear superior, but simply as a result of an unfortunate marital situation Jack had more than made clear he had no desire to continue.
“Is this a Cabernet Sauvignon, Jim?”
“That’s right! You know about wines, Jack?
“Hell no! But, I gotta tell ya, Lureen thinks she’s kinda an authority on the subject ever since that Napa Valley winery won some fancy French competition last year. It was all the talk of her social circles that the United States beat the pants off those “sissified Frenchmen,” like her old man likes to call ‘em. They didn’t even seem to mind that the grand prize went to that hippie hangout of Cali-for-ni-a!” Jack nudged Jim with his elbow, “Seems like patriotism trumped their Lone Star State snobbery for once!”
Jack’s playfulness quickly turned into a dismaying frown as he studied the label on the bottle, “Wait a minute. Wasn’t it a Stag’s Leap that won that contest?”
“That’s right. This is the exact same vintage, in fact. A 1973 S.L.V.”
“Holy crap, Jim. How much did this thing cost? I betcha this bottle had to set ya back about twenty dollars.”
Jim chuckled at Jack’s concern. “Don’t worry, didn’t cost me anything, except for maybe a wasted year of my life.” He smirked at his ingenuity, “You see, I sorta “compensated” myself with a few cases of wine before I told that asshole where he could stick that spatula he was holding. Picked out my favorites, knowing I was gonna be leaving. I don’t feel guilty neither since that bastard had already made sure that I wouldn’t get my last paycheck.” The young man caught the rant that was about to spill out and heaved a deep sigh. “Uh, sorry guys. Guess I’m still not over it. Maybe even a little bit bitter ‘bout the whole thing. Probably sound like some jilted girl, huh?”
Something in Jack softened considerably. “That’s alright, Jim. You probably haven’t had anyone to talk to about what happened since ya left California. Men like us, don’t exactly have a whole lot of avenues to find soundin’ boards. Don’t ya worry, though. After today, that ain’t gonna be the case no more. Right, Ennis?”
Glancing from one set of eyes to the other, Ennis pushed down his discomfort at the remote possibility of having to talk about personal feelings, and tried his best to say something that sounded supportive. Deep down he figured that Jack would have to carry the heavy water, if the young man ever decided to take that crazy fool up on his generous offer to extend a large dose of Joyce Brothers’ advice.
“Mhm, yeah, guess so. If’n ya feel a need to.”
Jack seemed pleased, to Ennis’ way of thinking, because he just smiled broadly and plowed ahead as if no further discussion of the matter was necessary. “You know what they say, Jim. It’s that bastard’s loss and our gain. In any event, this sure is pretty expensive stuff. Glad to know ya think we’re worthy of such an extravagance. I’ve picked up a few things from Lureen over the years. She’s the kind of gal who always wants to be ahead of the curve. Ah, hell. Let’s just say, the woman don’t like deprivin’ herself of the finer things in life, if ya know what I mean? To my way of thinkin’, there’s really nuthin’ much wrong with just a cold can of beer and some salty pretzels. Ain’t that right, Ennis?”
Ennis saw how Jack’s eyes softened and the slow flirty wink that followed let him know that this was the kind of question he didn’t need to answer. The man he had known before he had even turned twenty, quietly making sure that he understood how perfectly happy he was with the simpler things in life too. Although the gesture was totally welcomed, Ennis wasn’t about to be fooled. He knew his man better than anyone else. Pushing for more and not settling for scraps was also part of his nature. Something Ennis had to learn to get use to as well. The opportunity presented being as good of time as any to make an honest start.
“Guess there’s nuthin’ wrong with likin’ or tryin’ new things either, I expect.”
The look Jack gave him at that moment was one Ennis had never seen before. There was something that he clearly recognized as surprise, but this time the expression seemed to be mixed with what might be characterized as smitten beyond words. Embarrassed by the intensity, Ennis lowered his head, not wanting Jim to see how powerful Jack’s influence over him was. Despite the momentary discomfort he was feeling, he supposed he could get use to this kind of appreciation as well, accepting that if Jim hung around for any length of time, there would be no way to hide the truth of what flowed between them anyway.
By the time they had finished their bountiful feast, Jim was not the only one learning fresh things about his newfound friends. In conjunction with his amazing culinary skills and wine expertise, Jim revealed that he was also a very talented musician who had the kind of remarkable voice that shook something deep inside the listener. Overall, several of the solo vocalizations he shared that night were surprisingly powerful, appropriately tender and refined when the lyrics required feelings of longing and having. While other times, the interpretation became a toe tapping raucous experience, steeped with the energy and excitement of unbridled youth.
Early in the evening, after everyone had been stuffed with what Jack kept calling flaming drunk bananas, Jim had enthusiastically retrieved a beautifully crafted acoustic guitar from his truck and led an impromptu sing-a-long around a makeshift campfire. With a selection of old time folk tunes and a smattering of contemporary selections interwoven together, Jim coaxed everyone to join in, including Lupine who howled sporadically, depending upon the pitch of the sound they were making. Years on the road, as well as a naturally exuberant bent, allowed Jack to comfortably join in the fun, even when Jim started singing familiar tunes like Ennis had listened to on the young man’s tape deck the day they had driven up into the mountains to retrieve his abandoned truck. Jack seemed to know a lot of current songs, which made Ennis proud, but also reminded him how many long hours on the road his man had to endure over the years, not only for the salesman job he hated, but for a stubborn cowboy who never could budge much further than the handle on a coffee pot to meet Jack half way.
Overall, the Sunday get-together that had been filled with so much tension and anguish at the outset had eventually ended on a thoroughly happy note. All three men had not only cemented their friendship through good food and drink, but bonded together by enjoying each other’s company and accepting the responsibility of protecting each other’s secret. Not a word needed to be spoken or any oath sworn. For whatever reason, fate had brought all three of them together. All that was left was for life to move forward. No more regrets about what might have been, or letdown about what needed to be left behind. Each man seemed ready to move on, regardless of the risks or challenges that lay ahead.
__________________________
“Daddy’s gonna be here soon, Mama. He promised. It’s only 10:40 a.m.”
“He was supposed to be here at 10:30 a.m., Junior. He knows I got things to do.” Alma’s lips flattened with disapproval.
“Maybe sumthin’ came up? You know Daddy’s good with time. Maybe he had a flat tire or he got a call from the ranch and there’s some emergency he has to attend to?”
Just then the anticipated old pickup truck could be heard coming up the street, moving safely under the posted speed limit. The driver carefully turned into the empty driveway before the rattling of the seen-better-days engine cut into silence.
“Daddeee,” Jenny yelled excitedly and started running toward the man who had just slammed the driver’s door shut behind him, arms wide opened, ready to receive her.
“Hey there, Birthday Girl.”
“Daddy, it’s not my birthday no more. That was Monday.” Jenny flung herself into the hug that was being offered.
“We haven’t celebrated yet, have we?”
The little girl’s face brightened with the possibilities of what was being suggested.
“Then it’s still your birthday to my way of thinkin’. What are ya now? Nine?”
Jenny rolled her eyes, knowing her father was just playing dumb.
“I’ll be in sixth grade next year.”
“Oh. Uhm. Didn’t know ya was ten already.”
Junior folded her arms and shook her head like the young lady she was fast becoming.
“Daddy, you know very well Jenny just turned eleven.”
Eyebrows arched in surprise as Ennis continued the affectionate pretense. “Eleven? You’re gettin’ to be pretty old to be celebratin’ birthdays then, don’t ya think? Maybe that wrapped box I got in my truck over there wouldn’t be fittin’ for someone so mature and all.”
The sparkle in his eyes told Jenny all she needed to know. “Never too old for cake and presents.”
Ennis chuckled at the wide-eyed, dimpled smile that was staring back at him now. The mixture of innocence and complete trust that he saw in his youngest daughter’s eyes was the kind of blessing he had always taken seriously and had never ceased to hold close to his heart. He may have been an abysmal failure as a husband, but he never would walk away from the privilege and responsibility of being a father. Looking at her now, he could see how Jenny’s spirited enthusiasm was the same sort of exuberant reaction he had grown use to expecting from a dark-haired spitfire who was a whole lot older, but who he suddenly realized would be turning thirty-three this December. He hadn’t thought too much about the prospect until now, but he had never shared a birthday with Jack before. Another one of those firsts he figured he better get used to fast, particularly given his man’s sentimental inclinations and the fact he always seemed to enjoy a good time, especially if he could be the center of attention.
Suddenly drawn back to why he was there in the first place, he instantly became aware of Alma’s hovering presence, arms crossed and feet steely planted next to the stairwell that he and Jack had jounced up against nearly ten years ago. The uncomfortable juxtaposition of the two immovable forces, one inanimate the other cold-hearted and barely breathing, caused his hair to stand on end at the back of his neck, while a flash of heat surged down his spine. The visceral reaction was understandable given that he could not help but remember what he and Jack had been up to that late fall afternoon. How they had hugged mightily in a chest to groin dance of soul stirring desperation, their mouths coming together hard while they risked being caught by whoever might be walking or driving by. Two grown men squeezing the living daylights out of each other, powerless to resist the need to crawl inside the other man’s skin after years spent in the wilderness alone. Although Ennis had been the one to initiate the physical reunion, it didn’t take long before both men were fully engulfed in the liberating feeling of being where they needed to be. Jack saying “Sonofabitch,” and Ennis completely unable to repress the two words he had carried within him for far too long, “Little darlin’.”
He straightened up his shoulders and politely tipped the brim of his hat, hoping the woman he had betrayed too many times to count, would be unable to see the guilt that was scrawled all over his face. Then again, he wondered if maybe it was time to stop beating himself up for feelings that the passing of time had proved to be unchangeable, perhaps even written in the stars. It seemed to him that Alma had moved on. Why couldn’t he? He had lived with deprivation and austerity most of his life and what had the self-inflicted punishment ever gotten him, except perhaps more of the same. The plain fact was that living honest met learning to live true. No one said that the change would be easy, but he deserved the time to find out if he could be a better man. The kind of man, Jack needed him to be.
“Alma.”
“You’re late, Ennis.”
“Mhm. Sorry.”
Alma winced at the characteristic disengagement. “I guess bein’ as I’m not your wife no more, I don’t deserve even the courtesy of an explanation. Use to be I would, at least, get some effort at an excuse for your comings and goings.” Alma’s eyes became stabbing slits of condemnation before continuing with her innuendo-laden comment. “Like some of them tales you would spin about the fish not bitin’.”
Ennis’ head jerked up at the introduction of the unexpected topic. “Don’t know what you're talkin’ ‘bout, Alma.”
Smirking at Ennis’ discomfort and the shift in power she had easily interjected into the conversation, she pulled her pale green sweater more snuggly around her petite frame and quickly walked back upstairs. Her shoulders hunched over from the weight of some unspoken burden, her back retreating. “Oh, I think ya do, Ennis. By the way, don’t be late. The girls got to get up early to help out at church tomorrow.” The next sound was the front door eerily creaking shut behind her, almost like a dare to pursue the matter further if he were foolish enough to try.
___________________
“Looks like Loopy loves his new playpen, Jim. Thanks for helpin’ me get this done today. Don’t want to lose the little guy.”
Jim nodded and stuck his hands into his back pockets, admiring their handiwork from afar. “Does look nice, doesn’t it? Look at him running around in there. He’s got plenty of room to explore now and yet still be safe. Get those muscles well-developed. You’ve been taking good care of him, Jack. He’s a real beauty.”
Jim looked over sheepishly and asked what he had wanted to know since Jack had first told him where Ennis was going to be.
“Does it bother you about Ennis being gone today?”
The smile that had been brightening a face filled with the pride of accomplishment, disappeared instantly. “You mean Ennis not wantin’ to bring the girls over here for the day to meet me?”
Jim nodded his encouragement, hoping Jack didn’t think he was being too intrusive.
Lifting his head upward as if the sky could help explain away the complexity of the situation, a long drawn out sigh prefaced an even slower drawled out response. “It’s too soon. Ennis is right. I’ve gotta be goin’ back to Texas next week. Need to be takin’ care of stuff down there. No use complicatin’ the situation by introducin’ me to ‘em now. Would just get tongue’s a-waggin’ and then I wouldn’t be here to help smooth things over if there was any trouble.”
Jim cleared his throat, unsure if he should ask the next question, but figuring Jack would let him know if he had crossed some impermissible line. Better to float out a trial balloon interest and risk being shot down than to miss an opportunity to provide a strong shoulder of support if needed. “You mean you’re worried that while you’re away, Ennis might get spooked if someone says something about the two of you living together this past month?”
When Jack didn’t answer right away, Jim continued to probe. “I mean, Ennis wouldn’t leave you now. Not after everything you two have been through.” Being met with continued silence, Jim’s voice shook with the timber of someone who cared deeply about the answer he was seeking. “Would he, Jack?”
Jack plopped down in one of the lawn chairs they had been using for their periodic breaks throughout the day, immediately preoccupying himself by digging inside the ice chest for a couple of cold beers. After politely handing one off to Jim, he quickly popped open the tab of his own Coors, gulping down a few swigs to quench his thirst while trying to take the edge off the rising disappointment he was suddenly feeling.
“Don’t get me wrong. We did argue on and off for several days in a row. At one point, I finally just jumped in my truck and drove off. Must have been nearly midnight when I bolted.” Jack carefully placed his beer on the ground and started to rub his eyes with both hands, trying to fend off the memory of how heartsick he felt that evening while still trying to come to terms with what really had made him so angry. Looking out at the horizon, he let himself be transported to a faraway place where he and Ennis would be happily settled and neither of them would ever think of leaving again.
By the time Jack resumed his response, Jim could tell that the next thought had been carefully formulated, the heaved-out shrug a definite indicator of how deep the struggle was that the other man was waging. “Still don’t have a clue what I was thinkin’ when I stormed off, because I had no idea where I was goin’.” A sad expression appeared on Jack’s face before he blew out a slow, uneven breath. “Truth is I didn’t drive more than a few miles before I turned right around and came back. When I pulled up the driveway my headlights flashed on Ennis and I could see him in the distance. He was just sittin' outside waitin’ for me, holding onto Loopy. They both seemed like lost souls, hopin' I'd come back to them. Shiverin’ in the cold.”
Jim thought he heard a choked off sob at the end of that sentence as Jack stood up and walked away, obviously overcome with emotion. But, instead of letting Jack be alone with his thoughts, like most respectful folks might have done in a similar circumstance, the attempt to avoid eye contact made the young man only want to reach out more to provide some kind of comfort. He walked over cautiously and squeezed one of Jack’s shoulders to regain his attention, hoping that what he was about to say wouldn’t be out of line. He hardly knew Jack at all, yet somehow felt like they had a lot more in common than either would care to admit. “It’s alright you know to be angry with Ennis. You can love someone and still want to kick their ass. You want to protect him, don’t you?”
Jack sniffled just a bit, but Jim thought he heard a chuckle in there too.
“Suppose that’s so. He’d say he can take care of himself, but what we’re tryin’ to do is no small thing. Ennis has been tryin’ so hard, lately. And, I need to continue to work on bein’ more understandin’. More patient. I know he can do this. The problem is I’m not so sure Ennis knows he can. For the most part, things have been real good between us and sometimes I feel like we’re almost there. Yet, the ugly truth is… the truth is, we’re still a million miles away from havin’ a real life together. Not wantin’ me to be included in the family outing today brought it all back home. This thing between us ain’t just about Ennis and me. Never really has been. Otherwise, we’d just have lived happily ever after up on Brokeback Mountain. It’s about tryin’ to live true in the real world that counts. And, that kind of existence includes all the other people in our lives. At first, it was just Alma we had to consider. Now, there’s Lureen, three kids, townsfolk, an asshole father-in-law, so-called friends who ain’t gonna be there no more once they know about us. Jobs that will dry up because the boss won’t want no queers hangin’ about. Shit.”
“I know that when I’m the most frustrated is when I don’t have much ability to change things I think need changing. To be able to alter events, you know? Maybe you’re just getting anxious because you’re going to be leaving soon and you think if there’s any kind of trouble, Ennis might slide backwards while you’re gone.” Eyebrows arched up to emphasize his next point. “And, you won’t be around to help out or even know when something is happening.”
Jack slowly turned around to look full on at the cut of the young man standing in front of him. His head cocked over to one side while his eyes swept down from head to toe and then back up again. “When did you get so wise, son?”
A small smile teased Jim’ lips. “I eat my Wheaties every day.”
“Ha. I knew those Frosted Flakes would do be in one day.” His tongue peeked out the corner of his mouth, a familiar habit he sometimes exhibited whenever he was still trying to come to terms with a situation. “But, honestly, I sure do wish it were that easy, son.”
“Could be easier than you think.”
Jack frowned and scratched behind his ear, unsure where Jim was headed. “How do you figure?”
“You forget. I work with Ennis six days a week. I’ll be able to tell if something’s bothering him. We actually talk now. Course, he doesn’t tell me much, but I’m pretty good at reading between the lines. I can also be obnoxiously nosy when I set my mind to something.” Jim smiled, “If all else fails, I’ll bribe him with one of my cookie recipes that he can’t resist.” Looking over he made sure that Jack knew he was bound and determined to help out. “Seriously though, all I have to do is keep my ears to the ground. Keep my eyes open. Just remember to give me your phone number down there in Childress, and I’ll call you the moment I think there’s any trouble brewing on the horizon.”
Jack swallowed hard, almost not believing what was being offered. “You’d do that for me?”
Jim suddenly took on a pokerfaced appearance, but his voice was filled with poorly contained amusement. “I’d do practically anything for true love.”
Jack rolled his eyes before bursting out with laughter, swatting at Jim who quickly ducked away.
“You shithead.”
“Hey, now. I choose to refer to myself as a romantic shithead. Thank you very much.”
What started out as a full blown Jack smile quickly faded to a grin that gradually grew even fainter until he was finally sporting nothing more than a thoughtful deadpan expression. He had never really had a friend like this before, someone who actually knew the truth about him and Ennis and in that knowing had no problem with the accepting. Besides the reliable comfort of a whiskey bottle in the midnight hours, Jack had never had a confidante he could trust about the most important person in his life. But, here he was. Someone barely out of his teens who was actually rooting for them to find happiness and announcing his willingness to do what he could to help them realize the sweet life Jack had dreamed about for longer than he cared to remember. He wasn’t sure how he could ever repay this type of kindness or articulate his appreciation.
“Thank you.”
“That’s better. You’re welcome, Jack.” After they sealed their agreement with a nod, Jim added one more element to the mix. “Just be prepared that you might not be so pleased once you find out my actual price.”
Jack’s heart jumped into his throat, thinking he might have been totally wrong about the generosity of the man.
“Price?”
“I always make it a practice that whenever I dial long distance, I only make collect phone calls.”
______________________
Tbc
Current Mood: Determined
Current Music: You’ve Got A Friend by James Taylor
Author: forever9218
Pairing: Ennis and Jack
Genre: AU/Canon
Word Count: 5685
Jim’s Diamond Mountain, Upper End of the Napa Valley
“I’m sure as hell sorry, Jack. Know that you’d like to come with me. Just think it might be too soon is all.”
He wasn’t sure what the furrow in Jack’s brow meant, but he heard only sincerity in the next words spoken. “It’s alright. Jim will be here in a bit. And, we’ll get crackin’ on that fence for Loopy.” Jack paused for a moment, a smile coming on strong. “Ya just have a good time, and don’t forget to say “Hello,” to the girls for me.”
Ennis marveled at Jack’s ability to know just the right thing to say during tongue-tied moments like these.
“You bet.”
A half-nod followed the trademark response, although Ennis couldn’t help but quickly avert his eyes from the familiar appreciative gaze that had already locked in tight to distract and capsize his bearings. As so often happened, at letting go times like these, the intense blue focus that was staring back at him now, contrasted sharply with the seemingly laid-back nature of the leave-taking. More than practiced in the fine art of simply disappearing into the background, Ennis couldn’t help but feel awkward whenever Jack made sure he was not just being noticed, but that he was being fully desired in every way.
It had never been easy to leave Jack behind. Not up on Brokeback, when he kneeled in an alley to heave out what he later understood to be an unending heartsickness after he pushed Jack away. Or, years later when fishing trips became the only means to fleetingly reconnect away from the world. Even now, when he knew the man would still be waiting for him when he returned later in the evening, there was a tendency to prolong the departure, to stay a bit longer and just enjoy the having. Today, however, was an especially inopportune time to be loitering around, or to be sidetracked by the limitless temptations being offered. Not if he wanted to avoid the predictable wrath of Alma’s disapproval whenever he ran late picking up the girls. He probed for another cigarette inside the left chest pocket of his tan and cream plaid shirt, and gruffly cleared his throat to try to temper down the heat.
“Whatya lookin’ at? I spilt coffee on myself, or sumthin’?”
Smiling at the self conscious ways he never grew tired of inspiring, Jack stood up from the kitchen table and looked deep into dark brown eyes before linking his arms over the other man’s neck for a be-back-soon kiss. Once lips reluctantly separated, foreheads quickly came together for one last nuzzle, leaving flushed cheeks behind and both men breathless. Each one secretly relishing the familiar tang of nicotine and the habit-forming taste of something addictively flavorful that neither was quite sure how to describe, but both knew was unforgettably imprinted upon their hearts.
Even though he knew he should be going, Ennis was surprised how his right hand automatically reached out, apparently not ready to be on his way just yet, and gently stroked the soft skin on the nape of Jack’s neck. Feeling like he had everything he ever wanted right here in this moment, he lingered a bit more before kissing Jack firmly on the mouth, and grudgingly breaking away at last. Afraid if he stayed much longer he would never be able to leave at all.
“Gonna miss ya.”
“Shit, Jack. We’ve just spent the entire night and half the morning together. Aren’t you bored with me yet?
As if reading his man’s heart, Jack smiled brightly, before stealing another quick kiss, with enthusiastic conviction. Not the sort of momentary contact that was filled with hunger or desperation, but the kind of simple reconnection that came from the sheer contentment of finally having what had been desired after so many years apart.
Ennis chuckled and just shook his head at the audacity of the man standing across from him. Spending the day with his girls was usually one of his favorite pastimes, but on this particular Saturday morning he felt an uncharacteristic pull to stay right where he was. Counting the first day of their recent short-lived fishing trip, which seemed almost like a lifetime ago, he and Jack had been living together for nearly a month in Riverton now, Jack recuperating nicely and Loopy growing in leaps and bounds. Based on most people’s timetable, maybe such staying power was not an impressive stretch of domesticity, but for two people who had tortured themselves for nearly fifteen years of denial, he couldn’t ignore how easy his new life had become. Except for the one time two weeks ago, when Alma called to abruptly inform Ennis that the girls couldn’t see him that weekend because they were coming with her and Monroe to visit family out of town, nothing unusual or even the least bit threatening had occurred.
For the first time since he was nineteen, he had to admit that the days were flying by faster than what his mother liked to compare to the slice of a hot knife through refrigerated butter. What was even more surprising than how one airily greeted sunrise soon gave way to another anticipated sunset was how, instead of his interest beginning to wane from overexposure, he found his need for Jack actually had grown with each passing day. Ever since that groundbreaking Sunday barbecue with Jim, he had come home every night after work, a prepared meal on the kitchen table, and a welcoming kiss from the man he apparently could never get enough of, no matter how much time he spent in Jack’s company. Deep down the bottomless need that continued to surge through him was something that he couldn’t help but wonder about, but for once in his lonely life he refused to ignore the obvious or second guess his contentment. They were together now and no one was going to take the one thing that pushed away the darkness and made him feel that he was exactly where he belonged.
After Jim kicked-off the day with his astonishingly accurate powers of observation, or as Jack liked to quip, the boy’s finely tuned “Queer-O-Meter” talents, the three-man Sunday cookout actually had gone off without a hitch. Even though Ennis hated to admit that a certain blue-eyed optimist had been right all along, he would have been hard pressed to remember a time when casual socializing ever felt that enjoyable. The one exception being those all too infrequent times he spent with Jack atop whatever mountain they found themselves, away from prying eyes and those who would mean to do them harm if given half a chance.
Never one to be low-key whether proven right or spectacularly off the mark, once Jim had left for home later that night, Jack had been determined to get Ennis to finally concede that his sourpuss predictions had been wrong. Fortunately for them both, Ennis had learned a few tricks along the way too and made sure that he needed a little more “convincing” before providing his final answer. Only after being worn down by some extensive mattress realignment, which was then followed by laid-back quality time just lying beside one another, fingers touching and voices pitched low, Ennis couldn’t help but confess that things had turned out alright after all. Of course, seeing as how Jack had never been gracious when occupying the winner’s circle, particularly when victory had been indisputably achieved, the crazy fool had burst out with a wacky eruption of hoots and hollers, which caused Lupine to join in with gusto before too long. Despite the ruckus created in the middle of the night, Ennis had to laugh full out until his stomach hurt from the unpracticed exertion, finally admitting that he didn’t much mind being wrong or reminded of his folly when such a crazy-ass comical display was the result.
Thinking back on that night several days later, Ennis remembered how he had pretty much braced himself for a livelier existence once he had decided to move forward with Jack by his side. But, after that frenzied experience, he began to come to terms with the realization that his world was going to become a hell of a lot nosier too. He grinned at the prospect, figuring he could learn to get use to the change, and made a mental note that a self preserving purchase of some earplugs might be in order, just in case.
Without a doubt, the get-together may have started off on the wrong foot, but once the grill had been fired up, and all three men had gathered in the backyard, the tense mood that had enveloped them earlier seemed to almost completely disperse into thin air. Jack may not have been too adept at the fine art of boiling water, but somehow he was terrific with a charcoal grill. The steaks ended up being cooked to perfection, which was complemented even further by the buttery garlic bread and extraordinary bottle of red wine Jim had brought along for the occasion. Having worked as some kind of chef’s assistant before a humbling cut and run to Wyoming last spring, Jim disclosed how he had learned an awful lot about viticulture and the finer subtleties involved with wine appreciation in general. Ennis had never particularly liked the stuff, but even he had to admit that the inky red selection had been the perfect accompaniment to the medium rare Rib Eye main course.
The one potential threat to the affable atmosphere happened when Ennis suddenly felt out of place after he discovered that Jack actually could pronounce the tongue twisting name of the type of wine they had been drinking. Although not much time had to elapse before the feeling of being cast aside was supplanted by something far warmer and much more sympathetic. The change in attitude developed once he realized that the expertise on display did not come from any kind of puffed-up boastfulness to be set apart or appear superior, but simply as a result of an unfortunate marital situation Jack had more than made clear he had no desire to continue.
“Is this a Cabernet Sauvignon, Jim?”
“That’s right! You know about wines, Jack?
“Hell no! But, I gotta tell ya, Lureen thinks she’s kinda an authority on the subject ever since that Napa Valley winery won some fancy French competition last year. It was all the talk of her social circles that the United States beat the pants off those “sissified Frenchmen,” like her old man likes to call ‘em. They didn’t even seem to mind that the grand prize went to that hippie hangout of Cali-for-ni-a!” Jack nudged Jim with his elbow, “Seems like patriotism trumped their Lone Star State snobbery for once!”
Jack’s playfulness quickly turned into a dismaying frown as he studied the label on the bottle, “Wait a minute. Wasn’t it a Stag’s Leap that won that contest?”
“That’s right. This is the exact same vintage, in fact. A 1973 S.L.V.”
“Holy crap, Jim. How much did this thing cost? I betcha this bottle had to set ya back about twenty dollars.”
Jim chuckled at Jack’s concern. “Don’t worry, didn’t cost me anything, except for maybe a wasted year of my life.” He smirked at his ingenuity, “You see, I sorta “compensated” myself with a few cases of wine before I told that asshole where he could stick that spatula he was holding. Picked out my favorites, knowing I was gonna be leaving. I don’t feel guilty neither since that bastard had already made sure that I wouldn’t get my last paycheck.” The young man caught the rant that was about to spill out and heaved a deep sigh. “Uh, sorry guys. Guess I’m still not over it. Maybe even a little bit bitter ‘bout the whole thing. Probably sound like some jilted girl, huh?”
Something in Jack softened considerably. “That’s alright, Jim. You probably haven’t had anyone to talk to about what happened since ya left California. Men like us, don’t exactly have a whole lot of avenues to find soundin’ boards. Don’t ya worry, though. After today, that ain’t gonna be the case no more. Right, Ennis?”
Glancing from one set of eyes to the other, Ennis pushed down his discomfort at the remote possibility of having to talk about personal feelings, and tried his best to say something that sounded supportive. Deep down he figured that Jack would have to carry the heavy water, if the young man ever decided to take that crazy fool up on his generous offer to extend a large dose of Joyce Brothers’ advice.
“Mhm, yeah, guess so. If’n ya feel a need to.”
Jack seemed pleased, to Ennis’ way of thinking, because he just smiled broadly and plowed ahead as if no further discussion of the matter was necessary. “You know what they say, Jim. It’s that bastard’s loss and our gain. In any event, this sure is pretty expensive stuff. Glad to know ya think we’re worthy of such an extravagance. I’ve picked up a few things from Lureen over the years. She’s the kind of gal who always wants to be ahead of the curve. Ah, hell. Let’s just say, the woman don’t like deprivin’ herself of the finer things in life, if ya know what I mean? To my way of thinkin’, there’s really nuthin’ much wrong with just a cold can of beer and some salty pretzels. Ain’t that right, Ennis?”
Ennis saw how Jack’s eyes softened and the slow flirty wink that followed let him know that this was the kind of question he didn’t need to answer. The man he had known before he had even turned twenty, quietly making sure that he understood how perfectly happy he was with the simpler things in life too. Although the gesture was totally welcomed, Ennis wasn’t about to be fooled. He knew his man better than anyone else. Pushing for more and not settling for scraps was also part of his nature. Something Ennis had to learn to get use to as well. The opportunity presented being as good of time as any to make an honest start.
“Guess there’s nuthin’ wrong with likin’ or tryin’ new things either, I expect.”
The look Jack gave him at that moment was one Ennis had never seen before. There was something that he clearly recognized as surprise, but this time the expression seemed to be mixed with what might be characterized as smitten beyond words. Embarrassed by the intensity, Ennis lowered his head, not wanting Jim to see how powerful Jack’s influence over him was. Despite the momentary discomfort he was feeling, he supposed he could get use to this kind of appreciation as well, accepting that if Jim hung around for any length of time, there would be no way to hide the truth of what flowed between them anyway.
By the time they had finished their bountiful feast, Jim was not the only one learning fresh things about his newfound friends. In conjunction with his amazing culinary skills and wine expertise, Jim revealed that he was also a very talented musician who had the kind of remarkable voice that shook something deep inside the listener. Overall, several of the solo vocalizations he shared that night were surprisingly powerful, appropriately tender and refined when the lyrics required feelings of longing and having. While other times, the interpretation became a toe tapping raucous experience, steeped with the energy and excitement of unbridled youth.
Early in the evening, after everyone had been stuffed with what Jack kept calling flaming drunk bananas, Jim had enthusiastically retrieved a beautifully crafted acoustic guitar from his truck and led an impromptu sing-a-long around a makeshift campfire. With a selection of old time folk tunes and a smattering of contemporary selections interwoven together, Jim coaxed everyone to join in, including Lupine who howled sporadically, depending upon the pitch of the sound they were making. Years on the road, as well as a naturally exuberant bent, allowed Jack to comfortably join in the fun, even when Jim started singing familiar tunes like Ennis had listened to on the young man’s tape deck the day they had driven up into the mountains to retrieve his abandoned truck. Jack seemed to know a lot of current songs, which made Ennis proud, but also reminded him how many long hours on the road his man had to endure over the years, not only for the salesman job he hated, but for a stubborn cowboy who never could budge much further than the handle on a coffee pot to meet Jack half way.
Overall, the Sunday get-together that had been filled with so much tension and anguish at the outset had eventually ended on a thoroughly happy note. All three men had not only cemented their friendship through good food and drink, but bonded together by enjoying each other’s company and accepting the responsibility of protecting each other’s secret. Not a word needed to be spoken or any oath sworn. For whatever reason, fate had brought all three of them together. All that was left was for life to move forward. No more regrets about what might have been, or letdown about what needed to be left behind. Each man seemed ready to move on, regardless of the risks or challenges that lay ahead.
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“Daddy’s gonna be here soon, Mama. He promised. It’s only 10:40 a.m.”
“He was supposed to be here at 10:30 a.m., Junior. He knows I got things to do.” Alma’s lips flattened with disapproval.
“Maybe sumthin’ came up? You know Daddy’s good with time. Maybe he had a flat tire or he got a call from the ranch and there’s some emergency he has to attend to?”
Just then the anticipated old pickup truck could be heard coming up the street, moving safely under the posted speed limit. The driver carefully turned into the empty driveway before the rattling of the seen-better-days engine cut into silence.
“Daddeee,” Jenny yelled excitedly and started running toward the man who had just slammed the driver’s door shut behind him, arms wide opened, ready to receive her.
“Hey there, Birthday Girl.”
“Daddy, it’s not my birthday no more. That was Monday.” Jenny flung herself into the hug that was being offered.
“We haven’t celebrated yet, have we?”
The little girl’s face brightened with the possibilities of what was being suggested.
“Then it’s still your birthday to my way of thinkin’. What are ya now? Nine?”
Jenny rolled her eyes, knowing her father was just playing dumb.
“I’ll be in sixth grade next year.”
“Oh. Uhm. Didn’t know ya was ten already.”
Junior folded her arms and shook her head like the young lady she was fast becoming.
“Daddy, you know very well Jenny just turned eleven.”
Eyebrows arched in surprise as Ennis continued the affectionate pretense. “Eleven? You’re gettin’ to be pretty old to be celebratin’ birthdays then, don’t ya think? Maybe that wrapped box I got in my truck over there wouldn’t be fittin’ for someone so mature and all.”
The sparkle in his eyes told Jenny all she needed to know. “Never too old for cake and presents.”
Ennis chuckled at the wide-eyed, dimpled smile that was staring back at him now. The mixture of innocence and complete trust that he saw in his youngest daughter’s eyes was the kind of blessing he had always taken seriously and had never ceased to hold close to his heart. He may have been an abysmal failure as a husband, but he never would walk away from the privilege and responsibility of being a father. Looking at her now, he could see how Jenny’s spirited enthusiasm was the same sort of exuberant reaction he had grown use to expecting from a dark-haired spitfire who was a whole lot older, but who he suddenly realized would be turning thirty-three this December. He hadn’t thought too much about the prospect until now, but he had never shared a birthday with Jack before. Another one of those firsts he figured he better get used to fast, particularly given his man’s sentimental inclinations and the fact he always seemed to enjoy a good time, especially if he could be the center of attention.
Suddenly drawn back to why he was there in the first place, he instantly became aware of Alma’s hovering presence, arms crossed and feet steely planted next to the stairwell that he and Jack had jounced up against nearly ten years ago. The uncomfortable juxtaposition of the two immovable forces, one inanimate the other cold-hearted and barely breathing, caused his hair to stand on end at the back of his neck, while a flash of heat surged down his spine. The visceral reaction was understandable given that he could not help but remember what he and Jack had been up to that late fall afternoon. How they had hugged mightily in a chest to groin dance of soul stirring desperation, their mouths coming together hard while they risked being caught by whoever might be walking or driving by. Two grown men squeezing the living daylights out of each other, powerless to resist the need to crawl inside the other man’s skin after years spent in the wilderness alone. Although Ennis had been the one to initiate the physical reunion, it didn’t take long before both men were fully engulfed in the liberating feeling of being where they needed to be. Jack saying “Sonofabitch,” and Ennis completely unable to repress the two words he had carried within him for far too long, “Little darlin’.”
He straightened up his shoulders and politely tipped the brim of his hat, hoping the woman he had betrayed too many times to count, would be unable to see the guilt that was scrawled all over his face. Then again, he wondered if maybe it was time to stop beating himself up for feelings that the passing of time had proved to be unchangeable, perhaps even written in the stars. It seemed to him that Alma had moved on. Why couldn’t he? He had lived with deprivation and austerity most of his life and what had the self-inflicted punishment ever gotten him, except perhaps more of the same. The plain fact was that living honest met learning to live true. No one said that the change would be easy, but he deserved the time to find out if he could be a better man. The kind of man, Jack needed him to be.
“Alma.”
“You’re late, Ennis.”
“Mhm. Sorry.”
Alma winced at the characteristic disengagement. “I guess bein’ as I’m not your wife no more, I don’t deserve even the courtesy of an explanation. Use to be I would, at least, get some effort at an excuse for your comings and goings.” Alma’s eyes became stabbing slits of condemnation before continuing with her innuendo-laden comment. “Like some of them tales you would spin about the fish not bitin’.”
Ennis’ head jerked up at the introduction of the unexpected topic. “Don’t know what you're talkin’ ‘bout, Alma.”
Smirking at Ennis’ discomfort and the shift in power she had easily interjected into the conversation, she pulled her pale green sweater more snuggly around her petite frame and quickly walked back upstairs. Her shoulders hunched over from the weight of some unspoken burden, her back retreating. “Oh, I think ya do, Ennis. By the way, don’t be late. The girls got to get up early to help out at church tomorrow.” The next sound was the front door eerily creaking shut behind her, almost like a dare to pursue the matter further if he were foolish enough to try.
___________________
“Looks like Loopy loves his new playpen, Jim. Thanks for helpin’ me get this done today. Don’t want to lose the little guy.”
Jim nodded and stuck his hands into his back pockets, admiring their handiwork from afar. “Does look nice, doesn’t it? Look at him running around in there. He’s got plenty of room to explore now and yet still be safe. Get those muscles well-developed. You’ve been taking good care of him, Jack. He’s a real beauty.”
Jim looked over sheepishly and asked what he had wanted to know since Jack had first told him where Ennis was going to be.
“Does it bother you about Ennis being gone today?”
The smile that had been brightening a face filled with the pride of accomplishment, disappeared instantly. “You mean Ennis not wantin’ to bring the girls over here for the day to meet me?”
Jim nodded his encouragement, hoping Jack didn’t think he was being too intrusive.
Lifting his head upward as if the sky could help explain away the complexity of the situation, a long drawn out sigh prefaced an even slower drawled out response. “It’s too soon. Ennis is right. I’ve gotta be goin’ back to Texas next week. Need to be takin’ care of stuff down there. No use complicatin’ the situation by introducin’ me to ‘em now. Would just get tongue’s a-waggin’ and then I wouldn’t be here to help smooth things over if there was any trouble.”
Jim cleared his throat, unsure if he should ask the next question, but figuring Jack would let him know if he had crossed some impermissible line. Better to float out a trial balloon interest and risk being shot down than to miss an opportunity to provide a strong shoulder of support if needed. “You mean you’re worried that while you’re away, Ennis might get spooked if someone says something about the two of you living together this past month?”
When Jack didn’t answer right away, Jim continued to probe. “I mean, Ennis wouldn’t leave you now. Not after everything you two have been through.” Being met with continued silence, Jim’s voice shook with the timber of someone who cared deeply about the answer he was seeking. “Would he, Jack?”
Jack plopped down in one of the lawn chairs they had been using for their periodic breaks throughout the day, immediately preoccupying himself by digging inside the ice chest for a couple of cold beers. After politely handing one off to Jim, he quickly popped open the tab of his own Coors, gulping down a few swigs to quench his thirst while trying to take the edge off the rising disappointment he was suddenly feeling.
“Don’t get me wrong. We did argue on and off for several days in a row. At one point, I finally just jumped in my truck and drove off. Must have been nearly midnight when I bolted.” Jack carefully placed his beer on the ground and started to rub his eyes with both hands, trying to fend off the memory of how heartsick he felt that evening while still trying to come to terms with what really had made him so angry. Looking out at the horizon, he let himself be transported to a faraway place where he and Ennis would be happily settled and neither of them would ever think of leaving again.
By the time Jack resumed his response, Jim could tell that the next thought had been carefully formulated, the heaved-out shrug a definite indicator of how deep the struggle was that the other man was waging. “Still don’t have a clue what I was thinkin’ when I stormed off, because I had no idea where I was goin’.” A sad expression appeared on Jack’s face before he blew out a slow, uneven breath. “Truth is I didn’t drive more than a few miles before I turned right around and came back. When I pulled up the driveway my headlights flashed on Ennis and I could see him in the distance. He was just sittin' outside waitin’ for me, holding onto Loopy. They both seemed like lost souls, hopin' I'd come back to them. Shiverin’ in the cold.”
Jim thought he heard a choked off sob at the end of that sentence as Jack stood up and walked away, obviously overcome with emotion. But, instead of letting Jack be alone with his thoughts, like most respectful folks might have done in a similar circumstance, the attempt to avoid eye contact made the young man only want to reach out more to provide some kind of comfort. He walked over cautiously and squeezed one of Jack’s shoulders to regain his attention, hoping that what he was about to say wouldn’t be out of line. He hardly knew Jack at all, yet somehow felt like they had a lot more in common than either would care to admit. “It’s alright you know to be angry with Ennis. You can love someone and still want to kick their ass. You want to protect him, don’t you?”
Jack sniffled just a bit, but Jim thought he heard a chuckle in there too.
“Suppose that’s so. He’d say he can take care of himself, but what we’re tryin’ to do is no small thing. Ennis has been tryin’ so hard, lately. And, I need to continue to work on bein’ more understandin’. More patient. I know he can do this. The problem is I’m not so sure Ennis knows he can. For the most part, things have been real good between us and sometimes I feel like we’re almost there. Yet, the ugly truth is… the truth is, we’re still a million miles away from havin’ a real life together. Not wantin’ me to be included in the family outing today brought it all back home. This thing between us ain’t just about Ennis and me. Never really has been. Otherwise, we’d just have lived happily ever after up on Brokeback Mountain. It’s about tryin’ to live true in the real world that counts. And, that kind of existence includes all the other people in our lives. At first, it was just Alma we had to consider. Now, there’s Lureen, three kids, townsfolk, an asshole father-in-law, so-called friends who ain’t gonna be there no more once they know about us. Jobs that will dry up because the boss won’t want no queers hangin’ about. Shit.”
“I know that when I’m the most frustrated is when I don’t have much ability to change things I think need changing. To be able to alter events, you know? Maybe you’re just getting anxious because you’re going to be leaving soon and you think if there’s any kind of trouble, Ennis might slide backwards while you’re gone.” Eyebrows arched up to emphasize his next point. “And, you won’t be around to help out or even know when something is happening.”
Jack slowly turned around to look full on at the cut of the young man standing in front of him. His head cocked over to one side while his eyes swept down from head to toe and then back up again. “When did you get so wise, son?”
A small smile teased Jim’ lips. “I eat my Wheaties every day.”
“Ha. I knew those Frosted Flakes would do be in one day.” His tongue peeked out the corner of his mouth, a familiar habit he sometimes exhibited whenever he was still trying to come to terms with a situation. “But, honestly, I sure do wish it were that easy, son.”
“Could be easier than you think.”
Jack frowned and scratched behind his ear, unsure where Jim was headed. “How do you figure?”
“You forget. I work with Ennis six days a week. I’ll be able to tell if something’s bothering him. We actually talk now. Course, he doesn’t tell me much, but I’m pretty good at reading between the lines. I can also be obnoxiously nosy when I set my mind to something.” Jim smiled, “If all else fails, I’ll bribe him with one of my cookie recipes that he can’t resist.” Looking over he made sure that Jack knew he was bound and determined to help out. “Seriously though, all I have to do is keep my ears to the ground. Keep my eyes open. Just remember to give me your phone number down there in Childress, and I’ll call you the moment I think there’s any trouble brewing on the horizon.”
Jack swallowed hard, almost not believing what was being offered. “You’d do that for me?”
Jim suddenly took on a pokerfaced appearance, but his voice was filled with poorly contained amusement. “I’d do practically anything for true love.”
Jack rolled his eyes before bursting out with laughter, swatting at Jim who quickly ducked away.
“You shithead.”
“Hey, now. I choose to refer to myself as a romantic shithead. Thank you very much.”
What started out as a full blown Jack smile quickly faded to a grin that gradually grew even fainter until he was finally sporting nothing more than a thoughtful deadpan expression. He had never really had a friend like this before, someone who actually knew the truth about him and Ennis and in that knowing had no problem with the accepting. Besides the reliable comfort of a whiskey bottle in the midnight hours, Jack had never had a confidante he could trust about the most important person in his life. But, here he was. Someone barely out of his teens who was actually rooting for them to find happiness and announcing his willingness to do what he could to help them realize the sweet life Jack had dreamed about for longer than he cared to remember. He wasn’t sure how he could ever repay this type of kindness or articulate his appreciation.
“Thank you.”
“That’s better. You’re welcome, Jack.” After they sealed their agreement with a nod, Jim added one more element to the mix. “Just be prepared that you might not be so pleased once you find out my actual price.”
Jack’s heart jumped into his throat, thinking he might have been totally wrong about the generosity of the man.
“Price?”
“I always make it a practice that whenever I dial long distance, I only make collect phone calls.”
______________________
Tbc