Better, Much Better
After not having written for a while, at least I am able to set down good news for your delectation. How am I doing? Actually quite well.
The first good thing is that my anxiety and depression are under control. In fact, I am probably doing the best I have since around 2000. The major factors that are aiding me are medication and admitting that I have a problem with anxiety.Then when I admit I am depressed or anxious, I've figured out a series of possible things to do that might help.
You might be surprised or be curious that I am only now admitting I have a problem with anxiety. The truth is that I have been ignoring what I already knew. Though I will not harm myself, I have been known to mutter about suicide when frustrated. Imagine my surprise when I finally admitted to myself that I was really trying to say I was frustrated and saw no way to fix the situation. Yep, now all I do is say "Hey! I'm really frustrated!", then I go done my checklist of fixes. First to last, it's meds, food, rest or just quiet, or sleep.Today I added the option of adding earplugs and/or soundscapes, or even pure masking noise at the brown noise end (low frequency masking noise) of the spectrum.
Now that I have a checklist, I've also been adding additional habits that assist me in maintaining an even keel. I am trying to get into the habit of using a timer when I am on the computer. The timer is usually set for 20 min. When the timer goes off, I get up and do something around the house, exercise, or make food.
After I admitted that I have a constant problem with anxiety, I also fully admitted that I use the computer for blocking out environmental stimuli. Today I spent half the afternoon wearing earplugs and headphones over my ears. I was listening to an audio loop featuring clips of blank masking noise, waterfalls, babbling streams, and tree frogs.Blocking out ambient noise gives me a vast sense of relief. I was astonished at how much better I felt, and how much my local soundscape stresses me. The stress is caused by my hypervigilance. I hear people outside my window, outside my apartment door, and in adjoining apartments. I didn't even know that I was stressed by these sounds! Right now I am listening to a one hour recording of a thunderstorm. Wow, I am feeling better than most days.
What else? Well, not much at home. At work I put someone's face back together a bit. The client's cheekbones had been battered out of place several times. A friend of the client took before and after pictures. No shocking changes to the client's face, but a the changes from before to after changes were both notable and for the better. The usual slew of migraines, fibromyalgia, cryptic pain and joint problems otherwise.
The first good thing is that my anxiety and depression are under control. In fact, I am probably doing the best I have since around 2000. The major factors that are aiding me are medication and admitting that I have a problem with anxiety.Then when I admit I am depressed or anxious, I've figured out a series of possible things to do that might help.
You might be surprised or be curious that I am only now admitting I have a problem with anxiety. The truth is that I have been ignoring what I already knew. Though I will not harm myself, I have been known to mutter about suicide when frustrated. Imagine my surprise when I finally admitted to myself that I was really trying to say I was frustrated and saw no way to fix the situation. Yep, now all I do is say "Hey! I'm really frustrated!", then I go done my checklist of fixes. First to last, it's meds, food, rest or just quiet, or sleep.Today I added the option of adding earplugs and/or soundscapes, or even pure masking noise at the brown noise end (low frequency masking noise) of the spectrum.
Now that I have a checklist, I've also been adding additional habits that assist me in maintaining an even keel. I am trying to get into the habit of using a timer when I am on the computer. The timer is usually set for 20 min. When the timer goes off, I get up and do something around the house, exercise, or make food.
After I admitted that I have a constant problem with anxiety, I also fully admitted that I use the computer for blocking out environmental stimuli. Today I spent half the afternoon wearing earplugs and headphones over my ears. I was listening to an audio loop featuring clips of blank masking noise, waterfalls, babbling streams, and tree frogs.Blocking out ambient noise gives me a vast sense of relief. I was astonished at how much better I felt, and how much my local soundscape stresses me. The stress is caused by my hypervigilance. I hear people outside my window, outside my apartment door, and in adjoining apartments. I didn't even know that I was stressed by these sounds! Right now I am listening to a one hour recording of a thunderstorm. Wow, I am feeling better than most days.
What else? Well, not much at home. At work I put someone's face back together a bit. The client's cheekbones had been battered out of place several times. A friend of the client took before and after pictures. No shocking changes to the client's face, but a the changes from before to after changes were both notable and for the better. The usual slew of migraines, fibromyalgia, cryptic pain and joint problems otherwise.