I'm ready to go to school. I dont know if I can put up with with all this summer BS anymore. I just feel so beat and burned out. I feel like im just going to explode any time soon
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second half: But you cant blame yourself for pushing people away. You arent responsible for that. I guess people still fear what they dont understand and cant explain. Some people just dont understand that you can love someone the way that you love them - and thats not your fault - its their ignorance. I cant promice you that you will find someone soon - who am i to predict something like that? - but you cant stop searching because then you (hte person you really are) will stop living. And dont stop living. I dont know what you can do about your work - except wait until the summer runs out - ask me to give u a backrub if your back hurts - apparently im good at it :) Im just kinda pissed off about aero - but whatever - it wasnt my fault - and im not gonna sit around and blame myself and whine about it - maybe im just not meant for retail - although folding stuff was so much fun. And you have the same right to cry and scream and punch walls as anyone else does - you dont have to be happy for other people - thats completely not fair. I always feel like i have to be happy for people - but right now i just cant seem to do it, it was working until yesterday. OH well. Know that you can always cry with me and scream - and even punch walls - i dont like the paint color in our basement anyway. I know its hard, but dont be scared to be yourself, otherwise all the people you know will never really know you. And thats not fair to htem, but more importantly its not fair to you. And i think that applies to everything, you have to love people hte way that you love them, and express your emotions hte way you need to express them. You cant be afraid of how people will react to that, because if theyre going to love you they have to love YOU - all of you. Well, my little essay is long enough as it is, so im done. I love you so much.
But you cant blame yourself for pushing people away. You arent responsible for that. I guess people still fear what they dont understand and cant explain. Some people just dont understand that you can love someone the way that you love them - and thats not your fault - its their ignorance.
I cant promice you that you will find someone soon - who am i to predict something like that? - but you cant stop searching because then you (hte person you really are) will stop living. And dont stop living.
I dont know what you can do about your work - except wait until the summer runs out - ask me to give u a backrub if your back hurts - apparently im good at it :) Im just kinda pissed off about aero - but whatever - it wasnt my fault - and im not gonna sit around and blame myself and whine about it - maybe im just not meant for retail - although folding stuff was so much fun.
And you have the same right to cry and scream and punch walls as anyone else does - you dont have to be happy for other people - thats completely not fair. I always feel like i have to be happy for people - but right now i just cant seem to do it, it was working until yesterday. OH well. Know that you can always cry with me and scream - and even punch walls - i dont like the paint color in our basement anyway.
I know its hard, but dont be scared to be yourself, otherwise all the people you know will never really know you. And thats not fair to htem, but more importantly its not fair to you. And i think that applies to everything, you have to love people hte way that you love them, and express your emotions hte way you need to express them. You cant be afraid of how people will react to that, because if theyre going to love you they have to love YOU - all of you.
Well, my little essay is long enough as it is, so im done. I love you so much.
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