Optimism.
I wanted to update while I was happy. It's important to remember the highs as well as the lows.
Tomorrow I see the boy for the first time in three weeks. I have no idea why I thought being engaged would make things easier. It's been a steep learning curve discovering that it doesn't. If anything it makes it harder a lot of the time. But this weekend is ours, apart from the time we're gladly giving to Vikki as she copes with the end of her three year relationship and a return to single parenting. She will be amazing. And she will flourish. But right now, she is wilting.
Tonight Alex and I went to Starbucks, sat in the window and watched the city with our hot chocolate. Wrapped up in scarves and disecting the day that went before us. I love autumn. I am lucky that this is my life.
I adore the space in my room. The colours, the elements of me. The photos, the organisation, the amazing bed and the chest of drawers which has photo frames and Lego all over it and serves as Dave's bedside table.
I've been to the gym three times this week and done a total of 1 hour 45 minutes exercise at 70% of my maximum heart rate. I'm looking after my heart.
I'm so inspired by the piss-poor Citizenship lessons that I go to. I know I could do better, even if it was just a bit. I know I posess clarity. I don't want to bore the kids. I've got energy for even the dullest topics. I am keen now. For maybe the first real time, I am so excited for this.
Today I had a lesson with my favourite ever teacher, Mr McLellan. Tomorrow I have another. This makes me happy.
Tomorrow is Friday. Cake Friday.
Tomorrow I see the boy for the first time in three weeks. I have no idea why I thought being engaged would make things easier. It's been a steep learning curve discovering that it doesn't. If anything it makes it harder a lot of the time. But this weekend is ours, apart from the time we're gladly giving to Vikki as she copes with the end of her three year relationship and a return to single parenting. She will be amazing. And she will flourish. But right now, she is wilting.
Tonight Alex and I went to Starbucks, sat in the window and watched the city with our hot chocolate. Wrapped up in scarves and disecting the day that went before us. I love autumn. I am lucky that this is my life.
I adore the space in my room. The colours, the elements of me. The photos, the organisation, the amazing bed and the chest of drawers which has photo frames and Lego all over it and serves as Dave's bedside table.
I've been to the gym three times this week and done a total of 1 hour 45 minutes exercise at 70% of my maximum heart rate. I'm looking after my heart.
I'm so inspired by the piss-poor Citizenship lessons that I go to. I know I could do better, even if it was just a bit. I know I posess clarity. I don't want to bore the kids. I've got energy for even the dullest topics. I am keen now. For maybe the first real time, I am so excited for this.
Today I had a lesson with my favourite ever teacher, Mr McLellan. Tomorrow I have another. This makes me happy.
Tomorrow is Friday. Cake Friday.