(no subject)
i dont exist. stop acting like i do.
it doesnt matter, and no it never did.
ill always be just a passing face which you can find temporary happiness, or solace in.
and ill always be here. even though 9 times out of 10 i shouldnt be.
i want out of this. i want a new life. i hate what i am. i hate what i was. i hate what ive become.
i said it.
i used to think i was a master of pretend and that if i pretended long enough, and hard enough then i could believe in what once was just a farse.
i now believe in nothing but my own ignorance and how i cant escape reality.
reality is when you have an understanding of what your life will become and no matter what you do and no matter how hard you try, you cant prevent it. so you grow numb.
ive been numb for a long time now.
i want to feel again.
it doesnt matter, and no it never did.
ill always be just a passing face which you can find temporary happiness, or solace in.
and ill always be here. even though 9 times out of 10 i shouldnt be.
i want out of this. i want a new life. i hate what i am. i hate what i was. i hate what ive become.
i said it.
i used to think i was a master of pretend and that if i pretended long enough, and hard enough then i could believe in what once was just a farse.
i now believe in nothing but my own ignorance and how i cant escape reality.
reality is when you have an understanding of what your life will become and no matter what you do and no matter how hard you try, you cant prevent it. so you grow numb.
ive been numb for a long time now.
i want to feel again.