The end of another chapter...
Well im about to begin what id call the second hardest thing ill have to do in my life as of yet. That is to get over the first person i ever fell in love with.
Last night i rang him (Drew) to apologise about leaving newcastle without hanging around to see him. We got to chatting about us (inevitable) and he said that he wanted to stop the relationship before we got too serious and certain feelings started arising (i felt like saying 'too late' at this point) and it got really very difficult to be away from each other.
He kept saying sorry over and over and that we would have made an amazing couple if he didnt live away and how he was gutted as well as me. I couldnt say anything because i was devastated and he knew i was crying and started to cry himself :( He is completely not the sort of person i would ever expect to cry, im glad (as horrible as it sounds) because now i feel i meant a lot to him. But in other ways it makes it worse because how great could we have been?
He had to go then because his housemates arrived back at his and it wasnt apropriate to talk about it any longer. I cried myself to sleep broken hearted, i cried when i woke up, cried when anyone asked me if i was ok, and am crying now as i write this. I ended up missing a bit of physics because i couldnt stop at one point. If anyone is reading this now that spoke or comforted me today that you loads i apreciate it tons! i love all my friends and i am so so grateful to have them. i hope they know that.
Other news: Exactly one week today is what would have been my Dads birthday. Oh how things are looking up in my life (major sarcasm by the way, just incase no one picked that up)
Plain and little lonely me, Haley x
Last night i rang him (Drew) to apologise about leaving newcastle without hanging around to see him. We got to chatting about us (inevitable) and he said that he wanted to stop the relationship before we got too serious and certain feelings started arising (i felt like saying 'too late' at this point) and it got really very difficult to be away from each other.
He kept saying sorry over and over and that we would have made an amazing couple if he didnt live away and how he was gutted as well as me. I couldnt say anything because i was devastated and he knew i was crying and started to cry himself :( He is completely not the sort of person i would ever expect to cry, im glad (as horrible as it sounds) because now i feel i meant a lot to him. But in other ways it makes it worse because how great could we have been?
He had to go then because his housemates arrived back at his and it wasnt apropriate to talk about it any longer. I cried myself to sleep broken hearted, i cried when i woke up, cried when anyone asked me if i was ok, and am crying now as i write this. I ended up missing a bit of physics because i couldnt stop at one point. If anyone is reading this now that spoke or comforted me today that you loads i apreciate it tons! i love all my friends and i am so so grateful to have them. i hope they know that.
Other news: Exactly one week today is what would have been my Dads birthday. Oh how things are looking up in my life (major sarcasm by the way, just incase no one picked that up)
Plain and little lonely me, Haley x