The Wrong Drawer, Chapter Two

Jun 15, 2012 10:24

Title: ​The Wrong Drawer

Pairing: CrissColfer

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Chris and Darren have become good friends, so when Darren asks to borrow a clean shirt, Chris doesn't think twice before pointing him to the drawer where he keeps his t-shirts.Except it's the wrong drawer that Darren opens and instead of a t-shirt, Darren finds Chris' deepest...but sexiest secret.

Warnings for this chapter: ANGST

[previous chapter]



Darren was the best…whatever he was…that Chris could have ever imagined. Everything was absolutely wonderful. And frankly, Chris was worried about that. The phrase "too good to be true" didn't exist for nothing. They still hadn't defined whatever they were, and no matter what Darren had said when this all started last month, Chris still wasn't one hundred percent sure that he wasn't just sticking around for the sexy lingerie and the mind-blowing orgasms. Furthermore, Darren had been into girls for twenty four years. Now, all of a sudden, Chris was supposed to believe that some kisses and a set of botched up directions changed everything? Or maybe it was just that he was so incredible that a lifetime of staring at boobs suddenly didn't matter. Neither scenario really seemed credible. Darren was straight. Was it really possible for Darren to just, not care that Chris was a guy? Chris honestly couldn't see himself having romantic feelings for a woman-he could appreciate beauty regardless of genitalia, but he'd never want to get intimate with a girl, no matter how gorgeous he thought she was. He was terrified that Darren would wake up one morning, realize that Chris had a cock, and run away screaming.

There was also the fact that he felt trapped by how much he needed Darren. Darren made him happy. He was sweet and encouraging-every touch felt like an affirmation. He's always telling Chris howbeautiful and gorgeous he was. The part of Chris that had always been a little scared and lonely clung on to those compliments with an intensity that was stunning in its ferocity. It was so much, so soon, and it scared him to allow himself to be so incredibly vulnerable with someone else. Darren was the only person who knew about his dirty little secret. What if Chris was still here just because Darren accepted that about him? What if he was here because Darren was like Prozac and Zoloft all rolled into one gorgeous, sexy package? He doubted himself-he doubted Darren. How in the hell was this ever going to work?

A pair of hands gripped his hips and pulled them backwards. Chris's back rested against a familiarly warm chest, his ass was pressed up against a semi-hard cock that he'd spent hours exploring with his hands and tongue. His thoughts melted away. They always did every time Darren touched him.

"What are you thinking about?" Darren asks, the words vibrating against Chris's neck.

A jolt of anxiety shoots through him. Should he just…say something now, before they get any deeper into this? They've already fallen so far. But no relationship is perfect…it's natural to have doubts. Gnawing doubts that creep upon him every time he's alone. Chris knows it's not normal. But if he says something and Darren agrees with him, then this is over. No more feeling beautiful while Darren's hands are on him, no more feeling warm and accepted. He can't give that up yet.

Clearly he's taken too long to answer, because Darren has wrapped his arms around Chris's torso, hugging him tightly. His cheek snuggles against one of Chris's shoulder blades as he murmurs "Is something wrong?"

Chris's heart clenches as he thinks 'Yes. I think something is wrong But if I tell you I think I'm going to lose you and I can't handle that because I'm not sure if you're even mine to lose.' But he says, "No, not really. I was just thinking about…you and me." He wanted to say 'us', but saying you were an 'us' with someone else meant something and he wasn't even sure he could safely assume anything about them beyond being friends that fuck and cuddle.

Darren turns Chris's body so that they're face to face. "What about us?" His tone is neutral, but his eyes are asking 'should I be worried?'

Chris bites his lip, debating. He takes a deep breath. "Just thinking about how much I'd like to be kissing you right now."

Darren's intake of breath is gratifying, as is the way his eyes flash and melt. "My trailer. As soon as we finish filming for the morning."

Darren can't kiss him now, even though they both know he wants to. They're on set. It's nothing for Darren and Chris to be practically on top of one another, talking intimately and cuddling-but kissing? That would turn heads. Not to mention that Ryan would kill them. Chris scans the hallway-no one seems to have noticed them-they'd been a little indiscreet, so he can only thank his lucky stars that no one seemed to notice.

Chris leans against Kurt's locker, one foot propped against the bottom row of lockers. His foot is tapping and he keeps glancing at his watch. Chris forces himself to look excited-Kurt's waiting to meet Blaine after school for a duet practice. Darren-Blaine-rounds the corner, and Kurt perks up at the sight of him, a slight smile gracing his lips.

"Hey," he breathes once they're close enough.

"Hey yourself," Blaine replies. "I've been thinking, and-"

Both of them are blasted by blue slushie. They freeze as it drips down their faces, sliding onto their clothing as they stare at each other in shock. Naturally, Kurt recovers first and smiles bitterly.

"Welcome to McKinley. Let's go get cleaned up."

Blaine blinks a little, still in shock. Kurt takes his hand and Blaine squeezes back tightly as they walk, hand in hand down the hallway and around the corner.

Chris is sure the camera will zoom in on those tightly clasped hands in the final cut.

"Cut!" the director yells.

Kurt and Blaine slide away, leaving Chris and Darren, who are now both cold and uncomfortable.

"Jesus Christ," Darren says. "Bitch slapped by an iceberg doesn't even begin to cover it."

Chris giggles in spite of himself. "You'll get used to it," he says quietly, and it feels like something Kurt might say to Blaine. "It's not so bad after a while."

Darren smiles back at him, licking his lips clean of blue-raspberry flavoring. "I'm even more in awe of you now. You've gone through this millions of times."

Chris shrugs. "It's part of the job. Speaking of which, we need to get cleaned up and redressed."

They parted ways, feeling strangely warm in spite of the cold.

"Action!"

Luckily, they didn't have any speaking parts this time. They'd been instructed to chat casually at Blaine's locker, and to look happy doing it.

"So," Darren said. "I can't wait till I get you alone."

Chris forces himself to just smile as though he were Kurt talking about the latest issue of Vogue with Blaine. "Yeah, well, what are you going to do to me?"

"I'm going to throw you down onto the couch, strip off your clothes and fucking worship you," It's a little eerie how his face manages to look completely innocent while he says it.

Chris can't stop his jaw from dropping a little. He looks past Darren's shoulder for a moment, collecting himself. Fine. Two can play that game.

"Guess what?" Chris teases.

Darren raises an eyebrow. "Chicken butt?"

Chris rolls his eyes. "God, really?"

Darren grins. "Okay, okay. That was lame. But what were you going to say?"

"I'm wearing your favorite kind of panties under these jeans."

Darren's jaw clenches noticeably as he tries not to react. "Oh my god," he whispers, eyes darkening. "Really?"

"Would I lie to you?" Chris murmurs. The words taste sour in his mouth.

It's a good thing this scene is a general hallway shot that they aren't the focus of, or else a cut would have been called a long time ago. They're staring into each other's eyes, forgetting to make conversation, forgetting where they are for a moment too long. They're leaning in and their lips meet for the briefest moment before Chris remembers that FUCK, they are at WORK. He pulls back hastily and smiles, a blush staining his cheeks as he murmurs something about being in character and oh god oh god what did they just do?

Darren replies in kind, grinning and neither of them will remember what this faked conversation was about in five minutes.

"Cut!"

The director runs over to them eyes blazing. "Okay…not planned, but that looked great. You two…are just…genius. Genius. Let's call it quits for the morning."

The smile awkwardly.

"Thought we'd throw something in for the fans," Chris says casually.

Darren nods gratefully.

Chris is a little too good at lying.

They're showered and dressed in their street clothes, staring at the paper plates of sandwiches, fruit and chips in front of them on the table of Darren's tiny trailer. Chris sips delicately from the Styrofoam coffee cup, wishing someone would say something.

"Aren't you going to eat something?" he asks, finally breaking the silence.

Darren shrugs. "Aren't you?"

"Not hungry," Chris replies.

"Me either."

Minutes pass.

Darren exhales. "So…I just…really needed to kiss you right then. I don't know why. I just couldn't stop myself."

"Me either. I forgot where we were."

Okay, well, now that part's over. But it's still awkward. There's still too much left unsaid.

Chris takes a deep breath and goes for gold. "What are we, Darren?"

Darren stiffens, and Chris's stomach drops. This was the wrong thing to do, the wrong thing to say and now he doesn't know how to take it back because he can't and now everything is going to fall apart and god why is he so stupid.

"Wow," Darren says. "First…you aren't stupid. It wasn't the wrong thing to say, I'm not going anywhere, and could you calm down a little? I just wasn't expecting that, okay?"

Chris colors violently. "I said all of that out loud?"

Darren smiles a little. "Yeah. Luckily for you I find word vomit adorable."

Chris covers his face with his hands. "God that's embarrassing."

Darren pulls his hands away. "It's kind of cute. But…what are we? I don't know. We're really good friends. We find each other ridiculously attractive. The sex is…amazing. It's kind of confusing sometimes, but…it feels so good, so right that it seems crazy to get caught up in who has what parts."

Who has what parts. That means…God, Chris's worst nightmare is on the horizon. Darren will decide he's had more than enough of cock and by that time Chris will be so in love with him that he won't be able to handle it. "So…we're friends. Who fuck." Chris says. It sounds blunt and hollow.

Darren sighs. "Yes and no. I mean, it's more than just fucking, okay? I'm not sure what I feel for you. I feel a lot of things about you."

"Me too." Chris's voice is almost a whisper.

"Can't that be enough?" Darren kisses his lips softly.

Can it? Chris isn't sure. But he's willing to try and let it be enough. He pulls away and smiles shakily. "Don't you think it's about time you found out whether or not I was really wearing lacey panties while we were on set?"

Darren attacks his lips and they fall back on to the couch, clawing at each other's clothes, gasping and moaning as they thrust against each other frantically. Darren gasps when he sees that Chris was lying-he's not wearing anything under his jeans. An insistent knock at the door startles them.

FUCK.

"Just a second!" Darren calls.

They jerk apart, straightening themselves and each other frantically. Chris fluffs the pillows on the couch so they don't look like two bodies were just pressed into them and dives for the table, pretending like he's just sitting down to lunch. Darren rubs at his face and opens the door, greeting a very suspicious looking Ashley.

"What's up? Want to come in and join us for lunch?" Darren says pleasantly, making room for her to step in.

She rolls her eyes as she pushes past him. "Don't play that game with me, Criss. You two reek of sex. Pretty sure I just interrupted something. Which is probably a good thing-what part of "no sex in your trailers" don't you two idiots understand?"

Chris blushes tellingly. "We were not having sex."

"Whatever. I just wanted to tell you that you've got to be more discreet. I saw you two on set earlier, and you looked a little "bout to get my sex on." I'm not sure that I'm the only one who saw. There's been a lot of talk about you two. You've been spending all your time together, and none with anyone else at all, and people are starting to notice. What the hell is going on?"

Darren gulps. "Uhm…I mean. We're uh…" He grabs Chris's hand.

Chris looks up at him in surprise. He's not going to help Darren fill in the blank this time. He desperately wants to know what Darren thinks. The hand grabbing makes him feel hopeful.

"We're kind of a thing," Darren finishes lamely.

Chris can't decide if he's excited or disappointed. Kind of a thing? Much better than fuck buddies or friends, not as good as "together" or "dating."

She raises her eyebrow. "Not gonna lie. That's hot. Your fans would approve. But do a better job of keeping a secret, or tell everyone what's going on. Okay? I'm done and leaving. You can finish whatever you were doing. Feel free to give me the porny details later."

And with a wink that makes them both feel a little violated, she's gone.

"Kind of a thing?" Chris demands. He can't help himself. Whatever he felt when those words left Darren's lips was definitely closer to disappointment than anything else. He just can't let it go.

Darren sighs. "I don't know, it just came out. I knew I couldn't say nothing and…I didn't know what I should say and honestly? I think we're more than that. At least, I think it's becoming more than that. Sometimes…I mean, I always want you, you're gorgeous, but…sometimes I really just need to be aroundyou."

"So what does that mean?" Chris knows he's pressing the point, that Darren's starting to get agitated.

"What do you want it to mean? What do you want from me, Chris?"

That stops him short. He thinks hard for a minute. "I don't know."

Darren lets out a noise of frustration. "I…need to clear my head. "

Oh. Oh . "I'll leave you to it, then." Chris turns without waiting for a response, ignoring Darren's soft request to stay.

He doesn't know why this hurts so much, why he wants to cry. He's not sure what they fought about, if they fought about anything, whose fault it is that he feels like complete and utter shit right now.

Three days pass in almost complete silence. If they didn't have to portray America's cutest couple on screen, Chris wouldn't have talked to Darren at all. Kurt and Blaine go on a date, Blaine walks him to the door afterward, and they kiss. It's supposed to be sweet, awkward and heartwarming, but all they can seem to manage is angry, hot, and passionate. Once, Darren backs Chris against the door.

The director calls a cut. For the fifth time.

"What's gotten into you two? Let's…just…ten minutes, okay? Come back and be yourselves, or at least, be Kurt and Blaine."

"Sorry," Chris says quietly. He clears his throat, narrows his eyes at Darren and stalks off toward the bathrooms. He hopes Darren won't follow him in. His hopes are dashed.

"Chris," he hisses. "We need to talk. I was fine with letting you act like…whatever, but now we can't even work together? That's a problem."

"Act like what?" Chris demands bracing himself against the sink.

Darren's fists clench. "Like a complete and utter bastard."

Chris's eyes widen. "I'm the one who's a bastard? Screw you, Darren." He tries to turn away but Darren grabs his arm.

"Will you just talk to me? And yeah, you are being an asshole. You act like I don't have any feelings because I can't put words to them right now. I don't know what I'm feeling, and I'm just being honest. It doesn't mean I want out, goddamnit. You won't talk to me, you won't answer my calls or my texts and I know you were at home last night when I came by. You're really pissing me off."

That's just what Chris was waiting for. "Then forget about it. Just go. I wouldn't want to inconvenience you any further."

He tries to jerk away again but Darren won't let him.

"Let go of me," Chris says quietly.

"No. I'm mad at you, and I'm confused, and yeah, shit is complicated but I never said any of that meant I didn't still want you."

"Yeah, you always want me to give you a blowjob-big fucking deal. Anyone could do that. Anyone would. I'm sure there's some extra just waiting for you to say the word. They'd probably wear red lacey panties for you, too." That was a cheap shot, and they both know it.

Darren lets go of Chris's arm. Chris feels a sharp pang at the wounded look on Darren's face. "I don't know what the hell has gotten into you, why you're doing this to us, but I'm not going to let you. I don't want anyone else and you know it. You know this is about a hell of a lot more than sex."

"So we're an "us" now? What convenient timing." Chris knows he's being unfair, but he can't stand to be anything but angry right now.

"If you don't want to be in this, that's another thing. I thought you wanted this, Chris. I thought you were happy trying to figure this out with me."

"What's to figure out? It's because I have a dick isn't it?" There. It's out.

Darren sighs. Then, reluctantly, he says, "Yes. That's part of it. I never thought I'd want to be with a guy, and so that's pretty fucking new. I never thought I'd be into cross dressing either. Excuse me for being a little thrown by that."

"Fuck you," Chris says quietly. "Just…get away from me."

"No."

"Then I'll leave."

"Don't."

But the word falls on deaf ears. Chris, eyes misting with tears, slips out of the bathroom.

This time, Darren doesn't follow him.

They fail utterly at filming the kiss another seven times. Frustrated, the director says they'll try it again in the morning, that the two of them had better sort out whatever is going on by then.

Chris doubts that they will-he kind of doesn't want to talk to Darren for at least a year.

[next chapter]

glee fanfiction, crisscolfer, fic, nc-17

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