The Wrong Drawer, Chapter One
Title: The Wrong Drawer
Pairing: CrissColfer
Rating: NC- 17
Summary: Chris and Darren have become good friends, so when Darren asks to borrow a clean shirt, Chris doesn't think twice before pointing him to the drawer where he keeps his t-shirts.Except it's the wrong drawer that Darren opens and instead of a t-shirt, Darren finds Chris' deepest...but sexiest secret.
Warnings for this chapter: Crossdressing, frottage, blowjobs
A/N: This is a repost of this fic, which was on ff.net. Ff.net has gotten all annoying with the rule enforcing, so, here we are. :)
"Aw man!" Darren complained, stretching the front of his t-shirt out and looking at the cupcake batter splattered across the bottom half. "I'm so clumsy."
Chris appeared at Darren's side with a damp towel instantly, wiping frantically at the mess. "Damn. I don't think it's coming out! I'm sorry. "
Darren shrugged. Then he grinned. "That's what she said."
Chris huffed. "I don't know if I'm going to let you borrow one of my shirts now."
"Pleaseeeee?" Darren begged, blinking stupidly up at him.
Chris kind of hates his heart for fluttering. "Fine. But only because you beg so prettily. I'll get the cupcakes in the oven while you change." Chris waved a hand toward his bedroom. "Second drawer from the bottom."
He turned back to the counter and smiled to himself as he added batter to the cupcake pan. He was on the third one when he realized his error.
"Darren! Wait! It's the second drawer from the top!" he yelled, racing down the hallway and yanking the door wide open.
He was too late. Darren was holding a pair of lacy black panties and looked a little confused.
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"I…I can explain. It's uhm…it's not what it looks like!" Chris screeched.
Darren put the panties back in the drawer and cocked an eyebrow. "You don't have a girlfriend we don't know about, do you?"
"I'm gay, remember?"
Darren's lips twitched. "Yeah. So…that doesn't really help me figure out why you have a drawer full of lingerie."
"It's…it's really none of your business," Chris snapped.
Way to be completely suspicious, Colfer.
Darren put his hands up in surrender. "You're right. Consider it dropped."
An awkward silence wrapped itself around them.
"So…"
"God, this is so awkward," Chris mumbled, eyes glued to the floor.
"Should I…you know, go, or something?"
Chris wanted to say yes. More than anything, he wanted to say yes, and then they'd never speak of this again and everything would be lovely.
But then again, Darren was kind of one of Chris's best friends. Maybe…maybe he could just tell him. Darren was a pretty accepting guy…maybe he wouldn't freak out too much. Maybe. The uncertainty weighed on him, and Chris felt like his insides were boiling and freezing and melting and rigid all at the same time. He took a deep breath.
"No. Don't go. I'm not mad at you. I'm just…scared," he admitted.
"Of what? We're friends-you know you can tell me anything."
Chris balled up his fists and placed them over his eyes pressing hard to keep the tears inside. His body hit the bed with a loud thump as he sat down hard. "Darren, you can't tell anyone about this. You just can't, okay? I know you're going to think I'm a total freak, but…that stuff is mine."
He felt the bed dip and a warm presence as Darren sat down next to him. "What do you mean?"
Chris couldn't bring himself to look at Darren as he confessed his best kept secret. "Sometimes…sometimes I wear women's clothing. I…I have a lot of it. More than just underwear."
Chris dared to chance a peek at Darren, whose eyes were wide with…what? Realization? Shock? Disgust? Chris wasn't certain.
All he knew was that Darren wasn't saying anything. The silence was slowly killing him as he began to assume the panicked. The tears he'd been holding back were leaking as he felt his heart cracking into a thousand tiny pieces. "Please, please don't tell anyone." He repeated the words over and over again-perhaps this is what it felt like to be heartbroken, or insane, or something. Chris knew he never wanted to feel whatever he was feeling in this instant ever again.
"Dude, chill the fuck out," Darren said quickly, shaking Chris by the shoulders to snap him out of it. "I'm not…I don't think you're weird, okay? And I won't tell anyone. I swear. I'm just, you know,processing."
The cracking halted suddenly. "You're not…disgusted? It's pretty fucking weird."
Darren shook his head. "I wasn't expecting it, but I don't think you're weird at all. In fact…I actually kind of…well, I'm intrigued." His cheeks were suffused with the warm red glow of…embarrassment? But what could Darren have to be embarrassed about? This was Chris's moment of shame.
"What do you want to know?" he asked shakily.
Darren squeezed his hands together and let out a long breath. "How did it start?"
"I had this assignment for English class once. We were reading Romeo and Juliet, and we each had to recite part of the play for a grade. You got bonus points for creative delivery. As I'm sure you know, it was once traditional for female roles to be played by young men, so when it was my turn, I went all out and showed up in a dress and a wig."
There was more, but Chris was kind of hoping Darren would just get it, that he wouldn't have to spell out all the pathetic details.
"Please don't take this the wrong way, Chris, but…I've painted my nails a million times and worn plenty of dresses, but I don't have a drawer full of sexy lingerie." Neither of them missed the way that Darren's voice caught on the word 'sexy', like it half wasn't meant to be spoken.
Chris pushed that from his mind and paused, trying to find the right way to say it, to make him sound less pitiable. "I just felt…really, really beautiful," he whispered. "And the things they make Kurt wear don't help me. I feel the most beautiful when I'm him. "It's crazy, isn't it?"
"It's not."
"You're only saying that because-"
Darren's hand on his knee stopped him. "Anything I say…is because I want to say it. I wouldn't lie to you."
Chris swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat. "Okay" Darren was looking at him so intently and Chris couldn't take it anymore. "Please don't look at me like that."
"Why not?" Darren murmured, moving closer to him. "You're beautiful."
"Don't say that if you don't mean it." He jerked away from Darren's touch, so gentle it almost hurt.
"Chris. Just…look at me, okay?"
Chris kept his eyes firmly on the floor. Darren gently touched his face and turned it towards his.
"I do think you're beautiful. Any way that you are. I don't think you're weird. If you're weird for doing it, then I'm weird for wanting it. We can be weird together." He smiled, even though his voice was shaking, even though his hands on Chris's face were trembling.
Chris let the warm glow of acceptance wash over him. He closed his eyes, and as he replayed the words in his head over and over again, he realized just why Darren had been blushing earlier. "Weird for wanting it?"
Darren's hands slipped down to Chris's shoulders. "I find the idea of you…wearing those things really, really hot."
All the air rushed out of his lungs. He had never in a million years thought something like this might happen. Sure, he figured someone here and there might accept what he did, but that someone normal and sane like Darren would want it? It was too much to take in. It was too much.
"Did I say too much?" Darren asked.
"No. I just never thought…" Chris trailed off.
"Well, you thought wrong." And then Darren leaned in, and Chris angled his head and closed his eyes and felt warm dry lips against his.
It was a chaste kiss by all standards, but it did decidedly unchaste things to both of them.
"God," Darren breathed against his lips. "I didn't think it'd be like this."
Chris looked down at him through his eyelashes. "We've kissed about a million times on set, Darren. You know what it's like to kiss me. Are you interested in kissing me now because of the clothes? Is this just about a kink for you?"
"Christ no. Every time we kiss on set, I have to try so hard not to just kiss you. It's been like that since the beginning."
Chris's eyes snapped open. "That long?"
"That long," Darren confirmed. "The past few months have been killing me. When I kissed you in Dublin…it wasn't just about making you break character. I wanted the world see you and me for just a moment, I wanted them to see Chris and Darren having a moment, and I'm such a coward that I could only do it as Kurt and Blaine."
It was everything Chris could ever want to hear. "Kiss me."
He did.
"Again."
Darren kissed Chris over and over again, until their lips were swollen and their bodies aching for each other. Somehow they had ended up lying on the bed, Chris half on top of Darren.
"Chris, I really, really want you, but I don't think we should do anything too serious tonight ."
Chris wanted to protest, but he knew Darren was right. However there was the fact that they were both hard and on the edge of orgasm.
"Okay, fine, you're right. But I'm about to come in my pants. Seriously. Can we just…" Chris gave an experimental thrust against Darren, and the friction, even between two pairs of underwear and jeans, was magnificent.
"I don't think I could say no if I wanted to," Darren admitted, gently undulating his hips in time with Chris's increasingly desperate thrusts.
"Look at me," Darren whispers hotly against Chris's lips. Their eyes meet, and really, Darren has never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life. Chris's eyes are clouded with desire, darker than Darren has ever seen them, like sapphires. Darren loves everything about this moment. It's something about the way Chris bites his lip, the way Darren can feel his body tensing and trembling, struggling towards release.
"So fucking beautiful," he whispers.
When Chris's nails dig into his shoulders and he breathes a shaky note into Darren's mouth as he comes, Darren can't help but follow him over the edge and down into delicious darkness.
Chris rolls over, moaning discontentedly as he wonders why he feels so sticky and hot and uncomfortable. And for fuck's sake, why is he still in his clothes from last night? Did he get drunk or something? Then with a jolt he realizes that something is moving in the bed with him, he turns to face it and the overly bright morning sun is lighting up Darren's face and he remembers it all in a rush and holy shit wow that happened.
His movement, however slight, must have woken Darren up, because his eyes are fluttering open, and his lips curve into a smile when he sees Chris staring down at him.
"Whutimizzit?" he mumbles.
Chris isn't certain what he's just been asked, but he thinks he knows what Darren meant to say. He turns towards the bedside table and checks the clock.
"7:17," he replies, eyes still a little gritty as he rubs at them.
"Kay," Darren says, yawning and burrowing deeper into Chris's pillow.
When his brain catches up with what he's just said, Chris sits up suddenly, and is half way out of bed as he half shouts," Darren! It's 7:17 . Seven. Fucking. Seventeen. Eighteen now. We are supposed to begin filming at eight. EIGHT."
They both scramble to get ready, and somehow both of them manage to get some semblance of a shower but no breakfast and they arrive on set only a few minutes after eight. They nod at one another, and head their separate ways to get made up and dressed quickly, running lines in their heads.
When Chris sees Darren during their lunch break, he freezes and stops mid conversation with Ashley. She turns around, wondering what's caught Chris's attention. When she lays eyes on Darren, she grins, turns back to Chris, says something that makes him blush and walks away. Darren isn't sure, but…did she wink at him as he passed by?
"Hi," Darren says, taking her place easily.
"Hey." It sounds so forced it breaks Darren's heart.
"Chris, you don't have to do that. It doesn't have to be weird between us. I meant what I said when I told you I would keep your secret." Darren thrusts his hands in his pockets, looking a little unsure.
Chris relaxes a little. He glances around and says in a low voice, "I know. But…what was last night? A one time thing, or-" His lips snap shut as he takes notice of someone else over Darren's shoulder. "Let's talk about this later. You're going to need a ride anyway-your car is still at my place." He glues his eyes to the floor.
Everyone had been giving them hell for showing up at the same time in the same car and having obviously just rolled out of bed. Everyone had also drawn the conclusion that they rolled out of the same bed, and the funny thing was that they had no idea just how right they were. They said they went out and got wasted the night before, but it's a damn good thing they're both actors, or they'd be completely and utterly fucked.
Darren nods. "Sure. See ya." He ignores Ashley's unmistakably smug and knowing grin as he passes by her again and heads off to the recording studio. Nikki tells him he seems a little distracted. He just gives her a small, sad smile , shrugs and pushes thoughts of blazing blue eyes and lacy panties to the back of his mind.
"So…just what happened last night?" Chris asks as soon as Darren's flopped down on his couch.
"You don't waste any time, do you?" Darren asks bemusedly as he settles into the soft buttery leather. He takes a deep breath, and decides that he might as well be honest. He owes it to Chris after what he found out last night. "Well, you told me something about you, we made out, we both came in our pants and it was probably the hottest thing I've done in my whole life."
Chris blushed slightly. "Yeah. It was pretty amazing. Back to what I was saying this afternoon…was it a one time thing?"
Darren doesn't think he's ever seen Chris look so scared. "Only if you want it to be. I wasn't lying when I said I've wanted to kiss YOU for a long time." He makes room for Chris on the couch, and is secretly thrilled when Chris sits much closer to him than he normally would.
"I don't really know what to say," Chris admits after a few minutes. "I never thought you'd ever think of me like that. I never thought anyone would, if I'm being honest."
Darren's eyes are like molten gold as he scoots a little closer and Chris can't help but think that they are stunning. "You're an amazing, sexy person, and everyone sees it. You're everyone's favorite for a reason, Chris."
"Oh, stop," Chris says coyly, averting his gaze.
Darren doesn't.
"Seriously. You're the most incredible person I've ever met. I'm not into labels, you know that, but I've always more or less thought of myself as straight. I've kissed a few guys, just because, but…it never felt the way it feels to kiss you, even when it wasn't really us kissing. There's just something about you…"
Chris can't take it anymore. He pushes Darren against the couch, straddles his lap, and kisses him breathless.
"Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?"
For making me feel beautiful in my own skin , Chris thinks, but he can't say that. But that doesn't mean he has to lie. "Because I want you," he whispers, relishing the way Darren shivers when Chris's lips brush against his ear.
Darren's stomach growls, and they both burst out laughing.
"Not that I don't want you…you know I want you," Darren says, squeezing his hands where they've come to rest on Chris's waist. "But I'm kind of starving. Dinner? I'll buy."
"Can we order in? I don't want to go out like this," Chris murmurs, hips nudging against Darren's body instinctively.
"Like what?" Darren asks teasingly, although he already knows the answer. It's kind of staring him in the face/desperately trying to escape the confines of Chris's jeans and making his own reason for wanting to stay in ache even more.
"Oh, shut up. Chinese or Pizza?"
"Pizza," Darren says quickly.
"You went to college…aren't you sick of pizza by now?"
Darren shrugs. "I don't even taste it anymore."
Chris laughs and pulls out his phone to order.
Somehow, Darren finds himself over at Chris's place almost every night. If he isn't at Chris's place, then Chris is at his. They subtly find reasons not to go out with the rest of the cast, and for some reason, they usually don't say that they're not going because they'll be with one another. Keeping their…relationship, or whatever it is, a secret isn't something they've talked about, but somehow that's what's happening.
They don't talk about Chris's secret either. Chris is terrified of saying anything because he doesn't want to scare Darren away. Darren's scared to bring it up because he doesn't want Chris to think this is all about some fetish. It really isn't, because Darren never thought about it until Chris dropped that particular bomb on him, but the idea of Chris's legs in fishnets, thinking about how his ass would look in black lacy panties is driving him absolutely insane.
They haven't done much more than rub against one another-sometimes they manage to get their pants off, and one time Chris let Darren give him a handjob and it had been glorious for both of them. Chris tried to reciprocate but Darren assured him that it wasn't necessary. Just watching Chris was enough. The way his face twisted with ecstasy, the freaking noises he made, the fact that Darren could DO that to him…was mind blowing. He doesn't want to pressure, doesn't want to push, but all he knows is a constant state of want.
Which leads them to tonight, where Darren has taken a huge risk, one that he's terrified isn't going to pay off. He's a little scared it kind of might ruin everything. But that's the beautiful thrill of taking a chance on something.
Instead of just talking to Chris like a normal person might have, (although he must admit that nothing about this situation has been normal to begin with), he'd left a beautifully wrapped box and a note in Chris's trailer while he was filming a scene with Mike and Cory.
The note had read:
I'm scared to push you, but…if you're ready to explore this, to talk about it, I'm coming over at 9, and I hope you'll be wearing this. But you don't have to. Either way, I hope you still let me in.
He didn't sign it-he'd felt the contents of the bag would make it obvious who the note was from, if the words themselves weren't enough.
The bag had contained what Darren had been having wet dreams about ever since Chris had whispered "that stuff is mine."
So now it's 8:48 and Darren is early and pacing outside the door, trying to wait until it's at least 8:56, because anything else would look desperate.
"I can see you through the peephole, Darren. I'm going to unlock the door…come in when you're ready." Chris's tone is a little mocking and muffled through the door, but it's obvious that he was anxiously waiting too. That makes Darren feel a little less silly. Or maybe he was stomping in front of the door instead of pacing in front of it. It makes him feel better to think that Chris was just that excited to see him.
Darren laughs a little, but opens the door after a few deep calming breaths. He's ready for whatever he sees on the other side.
Holy.
Fucking.
Hell.
Darren shuts and locks the door behind him, leaning against it because he's not sure he can stand up on his own right now. He's aware that he's breathing heavily, and that he was hideously wrong-nothing could have ever prepared him for how deliciously incredible Chris would look like this. Darren hoped more than anything that the black lacy boyshorts he'd bought were under that indecently short silk robe. Chris was draped on the couch like a piece of fucking art and his legs were crossed and they looked amazing in the thigh high fishnets Darren had given him. But the icing on the cake? The glossy red platform pumps that Chris had procured from god knows where. He probably had multiple pairs. The thought was too much. His brain was short circuiting and he was pretty sure his mouth was open. All Darren could do was stare.
"Something wrong?" Chris asked, his voice drifting over Darren's skin like silk
"No." Darren swallowed hard, trying to get his wits together long enough to say the right thing. "You look amazing. God, the things I want to do to you right now."
Chris untied the sash on the robe and let it hang open.
Yeah. No, make that FUCK YEAH. The boyshorts were definitely there. And Chris was just as hard as he was. The contrast between feminine lace and male arousal was the most erotic thing Darren had ever seen. Chris stood and crossed to where Darren is still pressed against the door, hanging on for dear life. He didn't wobble or falter in spite of the sky high heels, and something about that really, REALLY turns Darren on. Chris fists a hand in the soft cotton of Darren's t-shirt and pulls him up and in for a hot, sloppy kiss that leaves both of them breathless and floating.
The robe is hanging off of Chris's elbows now, and Darren shoves it to the floor. "No idea," he mumbles, "You have no idea how much this is turning me on."
Chris lets a hand fall to Darren's cock where it's trying to burn a goddamn hole through his jeans. "I think I have some idea, " he murmurs as he squeezes Darren's cock. He moans and his hips stutter into Chris's hands. "You really do like this," Chris purrs.
"It's your goddamn legs," he breathes. "And those fucking shoes. and I wish I could show you how hot this is making me."
"This is one of those times when you can get what you want, Darren."
Their eyes lock for a minute, and Darren knows that Chris is really saying "Take what you want. This is all for you."
And something about that, the complete trust, the willingness to surrender to whatever might come makes Darren want to just give Chris everything. He just wants to give. Right now that means switching their positions, pushing Chris against the door and kissing him with everything he's got.
It means jerking those lovely panties down to Chris's ankles and using them to trap his legs apart.
It means letting Chris pull his hair a little as Darren sinks his mouth down onto his cock, sucking and bobbing and tasting. It's sloppy and hot and wet and messy and completely new, which makes it incredible. Darren's experimented with other guys before, an awkward kiss and some heavy petting in college, but he never ever wanted to sink down to his knees in front of another man and worship his cock. Chris makes him want to do a lot of things he never thought he'd want to do. Darren's eyes float up to Chris's face, squeezed tight and turned to the side in pure ecstasy and then he can't stop himself from palming his cock through his jeans as he tries desperately to swallow as much of Chris as he can.
Chris is making the most incredible noises-anyone who walks by will probably hear them, but Darren doesn't give two fucks about that. Let them hear how good he's making Chris feel. Darren runs his hands up Chris's fishnet clad legs, savoring the roughness of them against his hands. Then he's meeting smooth hot skin as his hands glide to hard bones of Chris's hips. Darren slides them around to cup his ass, kneading and massaging. He ventures a look up at Chris, and nearly comes in his pants. Chris looks completely and utterly destroyed. His head is thrown back, pressed hard into the door, and Darren can see his throat working as Chris moans garbled nonsense. Darren doesn't need to make out any words to know that it means he's doing everything right. And then there's a moment, Chris tugs his hair a little harder, his hips stutter forward and hot come is spurting into Darren's mouth. He swallows it as quickly as possible, trying to decipher all the notes in its taste, deciding that it's not so bad but that he wouldn't use it for pasta sauce or anything. Come to think of it, there's probably some weird porn site out there that centers around special alfredo sauce. But is he really musing about unlikely pasta porn when he just made Chris Colfer come? Out of all the things he's accomplished in the past year in a half, making Chris come undone like this gives him the greatest sense of accomplishment.
A sharp jerk and slight push on his shoulder tells him that it's time to back off, and he pulls his head away, swiping at his swollen lips with his tongue.
"Holy fucking fuck, Darren. Now I think I need a cigarette," Chris mumbles, raking his hands through his hair.
Darren can't stop himself from laughing a little.
"Get up here." Chris extends a hand, and Darren takes it, pushing himself up with a hand on the door.
"Are you sure you've never done that before?" Chris asks.
"Nope. I just…you looked, you look so incredible that I just wanted to…I don't know."
"Well, whatever it was you set out to do, you fucking succeeded," Chris informs him. "And now it's my turn. " He guides Darren so that his back is against the wall now. He's kind of glad for the support-his knees are a little wobbly for about a million reasons right now.
"You don't-" Darren begins.
Chris cuts him off with a kiss.
"I want to make you feel good. I don't feel like I have to. I just want to."
Well that's enough to keep Darren's mouth shut as Chris unbuckles his belt and shoves his pants down to mid thigh. He's desperate, and it's not going to take too many strokes of Chris's soft hands for him to come.
"I'm not going to last long," he admits. "Blowing you really does it for me I guess."
Chris just smiles and leans in to kiss and nibble at Darren's neck. The combination of teeth on his neck and soft thin fingers on his cock is too much, and Darren comes, seeing stars and white and nothing at the same time. His eyes slid shut at some point and when he opens them, Chris's own, blue and bright and burning are staring down at him affectionately.
"What are we going to do?" Chris asks.
"Mmm?" Darren's still in that post orgasmic world where everything is wonderful and nothing is really worth paying attention to. He's not even sure how long he's been slumped against the door, blissed out and completely content.
"I'm kind of falling for you," Chris admits. "We've spent so much time together over the past few weeks, and now this. I don't know what I'm going to do."
Well that is worth paying attention to. His eyes make an effort to actually focus on Chris's face. "Oh. Wow. Well, you know…you're not alone."
A hysterical giggle bubbles from Chris throat.
"What?" Darren says indignantly. He just confessed to returning Chris's burgeoning feelings, and he gets laughter in return?
Chris rests a hand on the door frame and coughs into his shoulder. "I'm sorry. It's just that whenever you say that…I instantly start scream singing "Not Alone" in my head."
Darren's lips twitch. "Fair enough. But it kind of fits, doesn't it?" He grins up at Chris and winks.
Chris nods warily. "Yes but…I will cut your balls off with a spoon if you dare think of serenading me, and especially with that song."
"Oh, but Chris. I'm such a romantic. How then shall I express my love for you?" Darren says dramatically, blinking and looking goofy and dreamy all at the same time.
"By sticking around," Chris says before he can stop himself.
"I'm not going anywhere," Darren says softly. Then his eyes light up and Chris knows that he's going to be rolling his eyes at whatever comes out next. "In fact, you might say…I'm never saying goodbye to you." He waggles his eyebrows, grinning like an absolute idiot.
Chris wants to love him and slap him at the same time. He settles for a gentle shove. "You're such a cheeseball, Darren. I don't know how I'm going to put up with you."
Darren lays a hand over his chest as though wounded. "Hey! You love my antics! Everyone does!"
Chris does have to admit that this is 100% true. Not out loud though. "That's what you think, Darren. That's what you think. I only like you because you give killer blowjobs."
"Well, you're the only person I've ever given one to so…there's got to be other reasons why you loveeeeeeeeee meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." The facial expression Darren is wearing is so utterly ridiculous that Chris actually does roll his eyes this time.
"You'll just have to figure them out for yourself, you attention whore. "
Chris steps out of the panties that are still hanging loosely at his ankles. He kicks off his shoes and goes to the couch, burrowing into it.
Darren yanks his pants up around his hips and flops down next to him. Usually Chris would hate being so close to someone else after getting so sweaty, but he's willing to make an exception.
"I have plenty of practice in heels-don't look t me like that, it's all because of Kurt-but my feet are killing me. I have to say, though…the rewards definitely outweigh the consequences today."
"Is that so?" Darren mumbles into his shoulder. "Well…how about a foot massage?"
Chris shuts his eyes, feeling blissful just thinking about it. "That would be amazing."
[next chapter]
Pairing: CrissColfer
Rating: NC- 17
Summary: Chris and Darren have become good friends, so when Darren asks to borrow a clean shirt, Chris doesn't think twice before pointing him to the drawer where he keeps his t-shirts.Except it's the wrong drawer that Darren opens and instead of a t-shirt, Darren finds Chris' deepest...but sexiest secret.
Warnings for this chapter: Crossdressing, frottage, blowjobs
A/N: This is a repost of this fic, which was on ff.net. Ff.net has gotten all annoying with the rule enforcing, so, here we are. :)
"Aw man!" Darren complained, stretching the front of his t-shirt out and looking at the cupcake batter splattered across the bottom half. "I'm so clumsy."
Chris appeared at Darren's side with a damp towel instantly, wiping frantically at the mess. "Damn. I don't think it's coming out! I'm sorry. "
Darren shrugged. Then he grinned. "That's what she said."
Chris huffed. "I don't know if I'm going to let you borrow one of my shirts now."
"Pleaseeeee?" Darren begged, blinking stupidly up at him.
Chris kind of hates his heart for fluttering. "Fine. But only because you beg so prettily. I'll get the cupcakes in the oven while you change." Chris waved a hand toward his bedroom. "Second drawer from the bottom."
He turned back to the counter and smiled to himself as he added batter to the cupcake pan. He was on the third one when he realized his error.
"Darren! Wait! It's the second drawer from the top!" he yelled, racing down the hallway and yanking the door wide open.
He was too late. Darren was holding a pair of lacy black panties and looked a little confused.
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"I…I can explain. It's uhm…it's not what it looks like!" Chris screeched.
Darren put the panties back in the drawer and cocked an eyebrow. "You don't have a girlfriend we don't know about, do you?"
"I'm gay, remember?"
Darren's lips twitched. "Yeah. So…that doesn't really help me figure out why you have a drawer full of lingerie."
"It's…it's really none of your business," Chris snapped.
Way to be completely suspicious, Colfer.
Darren put his hands up in surrender. "You're right. Consider it dropped."
An awkward silence wrapped itself around them.
"So…"
"God, this is so awkward," Chris mumbled, eyes glued to the floor.
"Should I…you know, go, or something?"
Chris wanted to say yes. More than anything, he wanted to say yes, and then they'd never speak of this again and everything would be lovely.
But then again, Darren was kind of one of Chris's best friends. Maybe…maybe he could just tell him. Darren was a pretty accepting guy…maybe he wouldn't freak out too much. Maybe. The uncertainty weighed on him, and Chris felt like his insides were boiling and freezing and melting and rigid all at the same time. He took a deep breath.
"No. Don't go. I'm not mad at you. I'm just…scared," he admitted.
"Of what? We're friends-you know you can tell me anything."
Chris balled up his fists and placed them over his eyes pressing hard to keep the tears inside. His body hit the bed with a loud thump as he sat down hard. "Darren, you can't tell anyone about this. You just can't, okay? I know you're going to think I'm a total freak, but…that stuff is mine."
He felt the bed dip and a warm presence as Darren sat down next to him. "What do you mean?"
Chris couldn't bring himself to look at Darren as he confessed his best kept secret. "Sometimes…sometimes I wear women's clothing. I…I have a lot of it. More than just underwear."
Chris dared to chance a peek at Darren, whose eyes were wide with…what? Realization? Shock? Disgust? Chris wasn't certain.
All he knew was that Darren wasn't saying anything. The silence was slowly killing him as he began to assume the panicked. The tears he'd been holding back were leaking as he felt his heart cracking into a thousand tiny pieces. "Please, please don't tell anyone." He repeated the words over and over again-perhaps this is what it felt like to be heartbroken, or insane, or something. Chris knew he never wanted to feel whatever he was feeling in this instant ever again.
"Dude, chill the fuck out," Darren said quickly, shaking Chris by the shoulders to snap him out of it. "I'm not…I don't think you're weird, okay? And I won't tell anyone. I swear. I'm just, you know,processing."
The cracking halted suddenly. "You're not…disgusted? It's pretty fucking weird."
Darren shook his head. "I wasn't expecting it, but I don't think you're weird at all. In fact…I actually kind of…well, I'm intrigued." His cheeks were suffused with the warm red glow of…embarrassment? But what could Darren have to be embarrassed about? This was Chris's moment of shame.
"What do you want to know?" he asked shakily.
Darren squeezed his hands together and let out a long breath. "How did it start?"
"I had this assignment for English class once. We were reading Romeo and Juliet, and we each had to recite part of the play for a grade. You got bonus points for creative delivery. As I'm sure you know, it was once traditional for female roles to be played by young men, so when it was my turn, I went all out and showed up in a dress and a wig."
There was more, but Chris was kind of hoping Darren would just get it, that he wouldn't have to spell out all the pathetic details.
"Please don't take this the wrong way, Chris, but…I've painted my nails a million times and worn plenty of dresses, but I don't have a drawer full of sexy lingerie." Neither of them missed the way that Darren's voice caught on the word 'sexy', like it half wasn't meant to be spoken.
Chris pushed that from his mind and paused, trying to find the right way to say it, to make him sound less pitiable. "I just felt…really, really beautiful," he whispered. "And the things they make Kurt wear don't help me. I feel the most beautiful when I'm him. "It's crazy, isn't it?"
"It's not."
"You're only saying that because-"
Darren's hand on his knee stopped him. "Anything I say…is because I want to say it. I wouldn't lie to you."
Chris swallowed thickly around the lump in his throat. "Okay" Darren was looking at him so intently and Chris couldn't take it anymore. "Please don't look at me like that."
"Why not?" Darren murmured, moving closer to him. "You're beautiful."
"Don't say that if you don't mean it." He jerked away from Darren's touch, so gentle it almost hurt.
"Chris. Just…look at me, okay?"
Chris kept his eyes firmly on the floor. Darren gently touched his face and turned it towards his.
"I do think you're beautiful. Any way that you are. I don't think you're weird. If you're weird for doing it, then I'm weird for wanting it. We can be weird together." He smiled, even though his voice was shaking, even though his hands on Chris's face were trembling.
Chris let the warm glow of acceptance wash over him. He closed his eyes, and as he replayed the words in his head over and over again, he realized just why Darren had been blushing earlier. "Weird for wanting it?"
Darren's hands slipped down to Chris's shoulders. "I find the idea of you…wearing those things really, really hot."
All the air rushed out of his lungs. He had never in a million years thought something like this might happen. Sure, he figured someone here and there might accept what he did, but that someone normal and sane like Darren would want it? It was too much to take in. It was too much.
"Did I say too much?" Darren asked.
"No. I just never thought…" Chris trailed off.
"Well, you thought wrong." And then Darren leaned in, and Chris angled his head and closed his eyes and felt warm dry lips against his.
It was a chaste kiss by all standards, but it did decidedly unchaste things to both of them.
"God," Darren breathed against his lips. "I didn't think it'd be like this."
Chris looked down at him through his eyelashes. "We've kissed about a million times on set, Darren. You know what it's like to kiss me. Are you interested in kissing me now because of the clothes? Is this just about a kink for you?"
"Christ no. Every time we kiss on set, I have to try so hard not to just kiss you. It's been like that since the beginning."
Chris's eyes snapped open. "That long?"
"That long," Darren confirmed. "The past few months have been killing me. When I kissed you in Dublin…it wasn't just about making you break character. I wanted the world see you and me for just a moment, I wanted them to see Chris and Darren having a moment, and I'm such a coward that I could only do it as Kurt and Blaine."
It was everything Chris could ever want to hear. "Kiss me."
He did.
"Again."
Darren kissed Chris over and over again, until their lips were swollen and their bodies aching for each other. Somehow they had ended up lying on the bed, Chris half on top of Darren.
"Chris, I really, really want you, but I don't think we should do anything too serious tonight ."
Chris wanted to protest, but he knew Darren was right. However there was the fact that they were both hard and on the edge of orgasm.
"Okay, fine, you're right. But I'm about to come in my pants. Seriously. Can we just…" Chris gave an experimental thrust against Darren, and the friction, even between two pairs of underwear and jeans, was magnificent.
"I don't think I could say no if I wanted to," Darren admitted, gently undulating his hips in time with Chris's increasingly desperate thrusts.
"Look at me," Darren whispers hotly against Chris's lips. Their eyes meet, and really, Darren has never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life. Chris's eyes are clouded with desire, darker than Darren has ever seen them, like sapphires. Darren loves everything about this moment. It's something about the way Chris bites his lip, the way Darren can feel his body tensing and trembling, struggling towards release.
"So fucking beautiful," he whispers.
When Chris's nails dig into his shoulders and he breathes a shaky note into Darren's mouth as he comes, Darren can't help but follow him over the edge and down into delicious darkness.
Chris rolls over, moaning discontentedly as he wonders why he feels so sticky and hot and uncomfortable. And for fuck's sake, why is he still in his clothes from last night? Did he get drunk or something? Then with a jolt he realizes that something is moving in the bed with him, he turns to face it and the overly bright morning sun is lighting up Darren's face and he remembers it all in a rush and holy shit wow that happened.
His movement, however slight, must have woken Darren up, because his eyes are fluttering open, and his lips curve into a smile when he sees Chris staring down at him.
"Whutimizzit?" he mumbles.
Chris isn't certain what he's just been asked, but he thinks he knows what Darren meant to say. He turns towards the bedside table and checks the clock.
"7:17," he replies, eyes still a little gritty as he rubs at them.
"Kay," Darren says, yawning and burrowing deeper into Chris's pillow.
When his brain catches up with what he's just said, Chris sits up suddenly, and is half way out of bed as he half shouts," Darren! It's 7:17 . Seven. Fucking. Seventeen. Eighteen now. We are supposed to begin filming at eight. EIGHT."
They both scramble to get ready, and somehow both of them manage to get some semblance of a shower but no breakfast and they arrive on set only a few minutes after eight. They nod at one another, and head their separate ways to get made up and dressed quickly, running lines in their heads.
When Chris sees Darren during their lunch break, he freezes and stops mid conversation with Ashley. She turns around, wondering what's caught Chris's attention. When she lays eyes on Darren, she grins, turns back to Chris, says something that makes him blush and walks away. Darren isn't sure, but…did she wink at him as he passed by?
"Hi," Darren says, taking her place easily.
"Hey." It sounds so forced it breaks Darren's heart.
"Chris, you don't have to do that. It doesn't have to be weird between us. I meant what I said when I told you I would keep your secret." Darren thrusts his hands in his pockets, looking a little unsure.
Chris relaxes a little. He glances around and says in a low voice, "I know. But…what was last night? A one time thing, or-" His lips snap shut as he takes notice of someone else over Darren's shoulder. "Let's talk about this later. You're going to need a ride anyway-your car is still at my place." He glues his eyes to the floor.
Everyone had been giving them hell for showing up at the same time in the same car and having obviously just rolled out of bed. Everyone had also drawn the conclusion that they rolled out of the same bed, and the funny thing was that they had no idea just how right they were. They said they went out and got wasted the night before, but it's a damn good thing they're both actors, or they'd be completely and utterly fucked.
Darren nods. "Sure. See ya." He ignores Ashley's unmistakably smug and knowing grin as he passes by her again and heads off to the recording studio. Nikki tells him he seems a little distracted. He just gives her a small, sad smile , shrugs and pushes thoughts of blazing blue eyes and lacy panties to the back of his mind.
"So…just what happened last night?" Chris asks as soon as Darren's flopped down on his couch.
"You don't waste any time, do you?" Darren asks bemusedly as he settles into the soft buttery leather. He takes a deep breath, and decides that he might as well be honest. He owes it to Chris after what he found out last night. "Well, you told me something about you, we made out, we both came in our pants and it was probably the hottest thing I've done in my whole life."
Chris blushed slightly. "Yeah. It was pretty amazing. Back to what I was saying this afternoon…was it a one time thing?"
Darren doesn't think he's ever seen Chris look so scared. "Only if you want it to be. I wasn't lying when I said I've wanted to kiss YOU for a long time." He makes room for Chris on the couch, and is secretly thrilled when Chris sits much closer to him than he normally would.
"I don't really know what to say," Chris admits after a few minutes. "I never thought you'd ever think of me like that. I never thought anyone would, if I'm being honest."
Darren's eyes are like molten gold as he scoots a little closer and Chris can't help but think that they are stunning. "You're an amazing, sexy person, and everyone sees it. You're everyone's favorite for a reason, Chris."
"Oh, stop," Chris says coyly, averting his gaze.
Darren doesn't.
"Seriously. You're the most incredible person I've ever met. I'm not into labels, you know that, but I've always more or less thought of myself as straight. I've kissed a few guys, just because, but…it never felt the way it feels to kiss you, even when it wasn't really us kissing. There's just something about you…"
Chris can't take it anymore. He pushes Darren against the couch, straddles his lap, and kisses him breathless.
"Not that I'm complaining, but what was that for?"
For making me feel beautiful in my own skin , Chris thinks, but he can't say that. But that doesn't mean he has to lie. "Because I want you," he whispers, relishing the way Darren shivers when Chris's lips brush against his ear.
Darren's stomach growls, and they both burst out laughing.
"Not that I don't want you…you know I want you," Darren says, squeezing his hands where they've come to rest on Chris's waist. "But I'm kind of starving. Dinner? I'll buy."
"Can we order in? I don't want to go out like this," Chris murmurs, hips nudging against Darren's body instinctively.
"Like what?" Darren asks teasingly, although he already knows the answer. It's kind of staring him in the face/desperately trying to escape the confines of Chris's jeans and making his own reason for wanting to stay in ache even more.
"Oh, shut up. Chinese or Pizza?"
"Pizza," Darren says quickly.
"You went to college…aren't you sick of pizza by now?"
Darren shrugs. "I don't even taste it anymore."
Chris laughs and pulls out his phone to order.
Somehow, Darren finds himself over at Chris's place almost every night. If he isn't at Chris's place, then Chris is at his. They subtly find reasons not to go out with the rest of the cast, and for some reason, they usually don't say that they're not going because they'll be with one another. Keeping their…relationship, or whatever it is, a secret isn't something they've talked about, but somehow that's what's happening.
They don't talk about Chris's secret either. Chris is terrified of saying anything because he doesn't want to scare Darren away. Darren's scared to bring it up because he doesn't want Chris to think this is all about some fetish. It really isn't, because Darren never thought about it until Chris dropped that particular bomb on him, but the idea of Chris's legs in fishnets, thinking about how his ass would look in black lacy panties is driving him absolutely insane.
They haven't done much more than rub against one another-sometimes they manage to get their pants off, and one time Chris let Darren give him a handjob and it had been glorious for both of them. Chris tried to reciprocate but Darren assured him that it wasn't necessary. Just watching Chris was enough. The way his face twisted with ecstasy, the freaking noises he made, the fact that Darren could DO that to him…was mind blowing. He doesn't want to pressure, doesn't want to push, but all he knows is a constant state of want.
Which leads them to tonight, where Darren has taken a huge risk, one that he's terrified isn't going to pay off. He's a little scared it kind of might ruin everything. But that's the beautiful thrill of taking a chance on something.
Instead of just talking to Chris like a normal person might have, (although he must admit that nothing about this situation has been normal to begin with), he'd left a beautifully wrapped box and a note in Chris's trailer while he was filming a scene with Mike and Cory.
The note had read:
I'm scared to push you, but…if you're ready to explore this, to talk about it, I'm coming over at 9, and I hope you'll be wearing this. But you don't have to. Either way, I hope you still let me in.
He didn't sign it-he'd felt the contents of the bag would make it obvious who the note was from, if the words themselves weren't enough.
The bag had contained what Darren had been having wet dreams about ever since Chris had whispered "that stuff is mine."
So now it's 8:48 and Darren is early and pacing outside the door, trying to wait until it's at least 8:56, because anything else would look desperate.
"I can see you through the peephole, Darren. I'm going to unlock the door…come in when you're ready." Chris's tone is a little mocking and muffled through the door, but it's obvious that he was anxiously waiting too. That makes Darren feel a little less silly. Or maybe he was stomping in front of the door instead of pacing in front of it. It makes him feel better to think that Chris was just that excited to see him.
Darren laughs a little, but opens the door after a few deep calming breaths. He's ready for whatever he sees on the other side.
Holy.
Fucking.
Hell.
Darren shuts and locks the door behind him, leaning against it because he's not sure he can stand up on his own right now. He's aware that he's breathing heavily, and that he was hideously wrong-nothing could have ever prepared him for how deliciously incredible Chris would look like this. Darren hoped more than anything that the black lacy boyshorts he'd bought were under that indecently short silk robe. Chris was draped on the couch like a piece of fucking art and his legs were crossed and they looked amazing in the thigh high fishnets Darren had given him. But the icing on the cake? The glossy red platform pumps that Chris had procured from god knows where. He probably had multiple pairs. The thought was too much. His brain was short circuiting and he was pretty sure his mouth was open. All Darren could do was stare.
"Something wrong?" Chris asked, his voice drifting over Darren's skin like silk
"No." Darren swallowed hard, trying to get his wits together long enough to say the right thing. "You look amazing. God, the things I want to do to you right now."
Chris untied the sash on the robe and let it hang open.
Yeah. No, make that FUCK YEAH. The boyshorts were definitely there. And Chris was just as hard as he was. The contrast between feminine lace and male arousal was the most erotic thing Darren had ever seen. Chris stood and crossed to where Darren is still pressed against the door, hanging on for dear life. He didn't wobble or falter in spite of the sky high heels, and something about that really, REALLY turns Darren on. Chris fists a hand in the soft cotton of Darren's t-shirt and pulls him up and in for a hot, sloppy kiss that leaves both of them breathless and floating.
The robe is hanging off of Chris's elbows now, and Darren shoves it to the floor. "No idea," he mumbles, "You have no idea how much this is turning me on."
Chris lets a hand fall to Darren's cock where it's trying to burn a goddamn hole through his jeans. "I think I have some idea, " he murmurs as he squeezes Darren's cock. He moans and his hips stutter into Chris's hands. "You really do like this," Chris purrs.
"It's your goddamn legs," he breathes. "And those fucking shoes. and I wish I could show you how hot this is making me."
"This is one of those times when you can get what you want, Darren."
Their eyes lock for a minute, and Darren knows that Chris is really saying "Take what you want. This is all for you."
And something about that, the complete trust, the willingness to surrender to whatever might come makes Darren want to just give Chris everything. He just wants to give. Right now that means switching their positions, pushing Chris against the door and kissing him with everything he's got.
It means jerking those lovely panties down to Chris's ankles and using them to trap his legs apart.
It means letting Chris pull his hair a little as Darren sinks his mouth down onto his cock, sucking and bobbing and tasting. It's sloppy and hot and wet and messy and completely new, which makes it incredible. Darren's experimented with other guys before, an awkward kiss and some heavy petting in college, but he never ever wanted to sink down to his knees in front of another man and worship his cock. Chris makes him want to do a lot of things he never thought he'd want to do. Darren's eyes float up to Chris's face, squeezed tight and turned to the side in pure ecstasy and then he can't stop himself from palming his cock through his jeans as he tries desperately to swallow as much of Chris as he can.
Chris is making the most incredible noises-anyone who walks by will probably hear them, but Darren doesn't give two fucks about that. Let them hear how good he's making Chris feel. Darren runs his hands up Chris's fishnet clad legs, savoring the roughness of them against his hands. Then he's meeting smooth hot skin as his hands glide to hard bones of Chris's hips. Darren slides them around to cup his ass, kneading and massaging. He ventures a look up at Chris, and nearly comes in his pants. Chris looks completely and utterly destroyed. His head is thrown back, pressed hard into the door, and Darren can see his throat working as Chris moans garbled nonsense. Darren doesn't need to make out any words to know that it means he's doing everything right. And then there's a moment, Chris tugs his hair a little harder, his hips stutter forward and hot come is spurting into Darren's mouth. He swallows it as quickly as possible, trying to decipher all the notes in its taste, deciding that it's not so bad but that he wouldn't use it for pasta sauce or anything. Come to think of it, there's probably some weird porn site out there that centers around special alfredo sauce. But is he really musing about unlikely pasta porn when he just made Chris Colfer come? Out of all the things he's accomplished in the past year in a half, making Chris come undone like this gives him the greatest sense of accomplishment.
A sharp jerk and slight push on his shoulder tells him that it's time to back off, and he pulls his head away, swiping at his swollen lips with his tongue.
"Holy fucking fuck, Darren. Now I think I need a cigarette," Chris mumbles, raking his hands through his hair.
Darren can't stop himself from laughing a little.
"Get up here." Chris extends a hand, and Darren takes it, pushing himself up with a hand on the door.
"Are you sure you've never done that before?" Chris asks.
"Nope. I just…you looked, you look so incredible that I just wanted to…I don't know."
"Well, whatever it was you set out to do, you fucking succeeded," Chris informs him. "And now it's my turn. " He guides Darren so that his back is against the wall now. He's kind of glad for the support-his knees are a little wobbly for about a million reasons right now.
"You don't-" Darren begins.
Chris cuts him off with a kiss.
"I want to make you feel good. I don't feel like I have to. I just want to."
Well that's enough to keep Darren's mouth shut as Chris unbuckles his belt and shoves his pants down to mid thigh. He's desperate, and it's not going to take too many strokes of Chris's soft hands for him to come.
"I'm not going to last long," he admits. "Blowing you really does it for me I guess."
Chris just smiles and leans in to kiss and nibble at Darren's neck. The combination of teeth on his neck and soft thin fingers on his cock is too much, and Darren comes, seeing stars and white and nothing at the same time. His eyes slid shut at some point and when he opens them, Chris's own, blue and bright and burning are staring down at him affectionately.
"What are we going to do?" Chris asks.
"Mmm?" Darren's still in that post orgasmic world where everything is wonderful and nothing is really worth paying attention to. He's not even sure how long he's been slumped against the door, blissed out and completely content.
"I'm kind of falling for you," Chris admits. "We've spent so much time together over the past few weeks, and now this. I don't know what I'm going to do."
Well that is worth paying attention to. His eyes make an effort to actually focus on Chris's face. "Oh. Wow. Well, you know…you're not alone."
A hysterical giggle bubbles from Chris throat.
"What?" Darren says indignantly. He just confessed to returning Chris's burgeoning feelings, and he gets laughter in return?
Chris rests a hand on the door frame and coughs into his shoulder. "I'm sorry. It's just that whenever you say that…I instantly start scream singing "Not Alone" in my head."
Darren's lips twitch. "Fair enough. But it kind of fits, doesn't it?" He grins up at Chris and winks.
Chris nods warily. "Yes but…I will cut your balls off with a spoon if you dare think of serenading me, and especially with that song."
"Oh, but Chris. I'm such a romantic. How then shall I express my love for you?" Darren says dramatically, blinking and looking goofy and dreamy all at the same time.
"By sticking around," Chris says before he can stop himself.
"I'm not going anywhere," Darren says softly. Then his eyes light up and Chris knows that he's going to be rolling his eyes at whatever comes out next. "In fact, you might say…I'm never saying goodbye to you." He waggles his eyebrows, grinning like an absolute idiot.
Chris wants to love him and slap him at the same time. He settles for a gentle shove. "You're such a cheeseball, Darren. I don't know how I'm going to put up with you."
Darren lays a hand over his chest as though wounded. "Hey! You love my antics! Everyone does!"
Chris does have to admit that this is 100% true. Not out loud though. "That's what you think, Darren. That's what you think. I only like you because you give killer blowjobs."
"Well, you're the only person I've ever given one to so…there's got to be other reasons why you loveeeeeeeeee meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." The facial expression Darren is wearing is so utterly ridiculous that Chris actually does roll his eyes this time.
"You'll just have to figure them out for yourself, you attention whore. "
Chris steps out of the panties that are still hanging loosely at his ankles. He kicks off his shoes and goes to the couch, burrowing into it.
Darren yanks his pants up around his hips and flops down next to him. Usually Chris would hate being so close to someone else after getting so sweaty, but he's willing to make an exception.
"I have plenty of practice in heels-don't look t me like that, it's all because of Kurt-but my feet are killing me. I have to say, though…the rewards definitely outweigh the consequences today."
"Is that so?" Darren mumbles into his shoulder. "Well…how about a foot massage?"
Chris shuts his eyes, feeling blissful just thinking about it. "That would be amazing."
[next chapter]