(no subject)
i'm having a hard time with life. i'm not depressed or anything - it's purely circumstantial. basically, I have applied to every single job I am ostensibly qualified for. this includes jobs in the field of education, childcare, writing, retail, hospitality, and other areas we will not discuss. if something works out in those areas, let's just say I will start a separate blog to post about the absurdity of my life.
I have no shame anymore. i'm not even angry anymore. so okay, I have two master's degrees and lots of experience in 2 fields. in every other field, I am vastly over-educated and my references/most recent experience dates back 6 or 7 years ago.
this is an employer's dream market, they can pick and choose and set arbitrary limits and requirements, and I am not their dream candidate. for those who would consider me a dream candidate, there is a hiring freeze that prevents them from even opening positions.
so I wait. yes, I have a job starting next week but once you factor in accumulating bills and debt, rent, groceries, and people I need to pay back, it becomes blatantly obvious this job will not be enough money fast enough. and yet I can't seem to get a morning or weekend job. I can't even seem to get an interview. when I go in person, I leave feeling sorry that I blew $5 on roundtrip bus fare. at least 15 people have expressed regret that, for whatever reason, they can't hire me. i'm trying to be positive. I really am. it just feels like this time the hole is so deep....
I hate that people assume the poor and homeless are uneducated or lazy or jobless. I hate that I get asked for money by people at bus stops every day who assume because of my clothes, hair, and skin, that I have money to give. i'm going underwater with 3 dollars but I can't even get together the dimes...
I have no shame anymore. i'm not even angry anymore. so okay, I have two master's degrees and lots of experience in 2 fields. in every other field, I am vastly over-educated and my references/most recent experience dates back 6 or 7 years ago.
this is an employer's dream market, they can pick and choose and set arbitrary limits and requirements, and I am not their dream candidate. for those who would consider me a dream candidate, there is a hiring freeze that prevents them from even opening positions.
so I wait. yes, I have a job starting next week but once you factor in accumulating bills and debt, rent, groceries, and people I need to pay back, it becomes blatantly obvious this job will not be enough money fast enough. and yet I can't seem to get a morning or weekend job. I can't even seem to get an interview. when I go in person, I leave feeling sorry that I blew $5 on roundtrip bus fare. at least 15 people have expressed regret that, for whatever reason, they can't hire me. i'm trying to be positive. I really am. it just feels like this time the hole is so deep....
I hate that people assume the poor and homeless are uneducated or lazy or jobless. I hate that I get asked for money by people at bus stops every day who assume because of my clothes, hair, and skin, that I have money to give. i'm going underwater with 3 dollars but I can't even get together the dimes...