Before I forget
Actually, this incident is so old, it needs an archaeological team, not an LJ entry, but still...
Carriageway news.
I mentioned a while ago that the road had been visited by the National Gas Alliance. They dug a hole. That gradually extended to become a half-mile long trench.
Then they filled it in.
Then they came back and dug it up again.
One morning, while the digging chappies were taking a well-earned rest, another chap turned up in a Land Rover, trailer on the back, and said to them, “I’m here for the mini-digger.” The workmen, to their credit asked, “Which one?” (because there were two) and “Why?”
“That one,” said the man, pointing to the one he was parked in front of (with an “Are you blind, or stupid, or both?” tone). “Because it’s booked in for repair. "
"Well, what are we supposed to do?" said the workmen. "We need two diggers. This is a two-digger site, this is."
"A replacement‘s somewhere on the M1," said Land-Rover-with-trailer man, quite patiently, really. "It'll be here within the hour.”
“Oh,” said the workmen. "Okay, then." And they obligingly helped him to load the mini digger onto the trailer. And off he went.
Some time later….
National Gas Alliance Boss-type chap turned up and said, “Where’s the second mini digger?”
“Gone for repair,” said the workmen (with a “Tchah. Left hand doesn‘t know what right hand's doing, as usual,” tone). “A replacement should arrive soon.”
“How soon?”
“Ummm - it should have been here about an hour ago, I think.”
Boss consulted his clipboard. “And did you see the paperwork? Because I don’t have anything here about one of the diggers needing repair. What was wrong with it? When did you last use it?”
“Dunno," said the workmen, to question one, obviously. "And yesterday, I think, ” to question two.
Of course, you're way ahead of me, aren't you, dear reader? And certainly way ahead of the workmen.
Because a bold rascal had seen the nice, shiny new diggers. He'd borrowed a Landy and a trailer - and, with the assistance of the National Gas Alliance - he'd nicked one.
How I envy him. I need one. You should see the state of the garden.
Taking the stolen digger just yards from site and attempting to hide it in our already-crammed-to-overflowing garage would be the flaw in the master plan, I think. That’s why I didn’t do it. Yeah, that’s why.
Right. I'm off again now. Tarra!
Carriageway news.
I mentioned a while ago that the road had been visited by the National Gas Alliance. They dug a hole. That gradually extended to become a half-mile long trench.
Then they filled it in.
Then they came back and dug it up again.
One morning, while the digging chappies were taking a well-earned rest, another chap turned up in a Land Rover, trailer on the back, and said to them, “I’m here for the mini-digger.” The workmen, to their credit asked, “Which one?” (because there were two) and “Why?”
“That one,” said the man, pointing to the one he was parked in front of (with an “Are you blind, or stupid, or both?” tone). “Because it’s booked in for repair. "
"Well, what are we supposed to do?" said the workmen. "We need two diggers. This is a two-digger site, this is."
"A replacement‘s somewhere on the M1," said Land-Rover-with-trailer man, quite patiently, really. "It'll be here within the hour.”
“Oh,” said the workmen. "Okay, then." And they obligingly helped him to load the mini digger onto the trailer. And off he went.
Some time later….
National Gas Alliance Boss-type chap turned up and said, “Where’s the second mini digger?”
“Gone for repair,” said the workmen (with a “Tchah. Left hand doesn‘t know what right hand's doing, as usual,” tone). “A replacement should arrive soon.”
“How soon?”
“Ummm - it should have been here about an hour ago, I think.”
Boss consulted his clipboard. “And did you see the paperwork? Because I don’t have anything here about one of the diggers needing repair. What was wrong with it? When did you last use it?”
“Dunno," said the workmen, to question one, obviously. "And yesterday, I think, ” to question two.
Of course, you're way ahead of me, aren't you, dear reader? And certainly way ahead of the workmen.
Because a bold rascal had seen the nice, shiny new diggers. He'd borrowed a Landy and a trailer - and, with the assistance of the National Gas Alliance - he'd nicked one.
How I envy him. I need one. You should see the state of the garden.
Taking the stolen digger just yards from site and attempting to hide it in our already-crammed-to-overflowing garage would be the flaw in the master plan, I think. That’s why I didn’t do it. Yeah, that’s why.
Right. I'm off again now. Tarra!