Episode 21: Life In The Asylum
Oh, dear. Gila can’t believe what I’ve been writing about him...
Pato and Gila still work as a doctor and a journalist respectively,
and Li’l Alberto was a paramedic until he transferred to Parma.
Obviously there was a bit of head-scratching on my part re: what career Parma ought to be, so I decided I’d just pick a job that seemed to suit his personality. Accordingly, I put him in Law.
Possibly that wasn’t such a great idea,
cos he cried his heart out when he got demoted back to file clerk, the poor little thing. :(
As for Gila’s sanity, it seemed pretty robust - he had a lovely relationship with Pato and everything,
and he expressed a desire to be friends with his manager, which seemed to me to be what a sane and well-adjusted person would do.
Of course, when Cesare turned up,
it proved not to be quite that simple. But what, when Gila is concerned, ever is?
I mean, he kept his eyes open, so at least that proves he’s not in love. Yet.
Cesare was a bit shocked,
(And so he should be! God, Gila, Pato’s RIGHT THERE IN THE BATHROOM!! He might have seen!)
but, when Gila hugged Fabi, he did look rather sad about it...
The madman would just not shut up about this Cesare thing.
It was getting quite disturbing,
until I found that he just wanted to eat him. Phew!!! (It says much about my fear of Conny that I think this scenario is actually preferable.)
Pato, of course, got revenge.
With a most unexpected target.
Goodbye, life - it was nice knowing you. Out of the Conny, into the Megan! ...So to speak.
Sergio, for his part, seemed pleased, and offered to play hand-clapping games. He is a most curious individual.
(He was horrified by Li’l Alberto’s table manners, however,
and banished him to the garden to eat in his earmuffs.)
After this, the Albertos made an extremely strange excursion to the park, the shops and a restaurant. I think I’d better detail it in full.
First, Gila decided to overcome his hasty temper.
He tried yoga, flower arranging
(which seemed to make him pretty happy),
and meditation,
but, it turned out, he still wanted to pinch Pato’s bloke in retaliation.
He also made Li’l Alberto have a snowball fight in his trunks, possibly telling him that it would put hairs on his chest or something like that. Poor Li’l Berto did not dare to disobey.
But never mind all that. Just look at Cesc’s winter outfit.
Self-explanatory, yes?... but note that bloke in the background:
he pulled this face. Which would have been the most amazing thing ever had he not ACTUALLY pulled that face on Sunday when his elbow got dislocated. :(
Anyway. In the meantime, Li’l Alberto had escaped from Gila and managed to get his clothes back on.
Fortune teller: And I predict that... you will be struck by lightning!
Li’l Alberto: Oh bollocks.
...Whoops.
I like how Gran still fancies him even in his barbecued state...
He had to go home to have a shower and change his clothes, though, so she moved on to Roman Abramovich,
who was deeply shocked on a moral level by her licentiousness.
He and Cruzi went into the corner to talk about asados.
Gila, meanwhile, was busy telling the waiter how much he loved Cesare,
and then she spilt a drink on him and he yelled at her for ages.
I suppose the meditation didn’t work.
In the background, you can see large quantities of Romanians arriving.
Am I a bad person for hoping it’s a triple date?
...
GOD! I could go on for ages about everything I find amazing about this picture. It’s just so appallingly true-to-life, I think: Gila is too polite to interrupt Piti’s lecture, even though he is dying to say, “Erm, I’m sorry, but there seems to be a goalie trying to molest me.”
Oh no, he’s just got a thing about Mr Inadvisable Disco-Pants. Well, his loss;
Piti and Roman sum up precisely what I am thinking.
...And then Satan busted a few of his funky dance moves again. I took more screenshots but am too scared to look at them.
So Gila made it safely home to his Pato.
Oh.
Yes, his face got stuck again.
I’ve never met anyone like Gila for having this happen to them:
he just seems to attract it,
and this particular face looked remarkably uncomfortable.
Moreover, it went on for so long I began to think it was stuck for good,
but theAAAAAAAAAAARRGH!!!!!!!!!! *Shrieks and falls over*
(Note: the author was struck dead by the shock of seeing Gila smiling. She will be duly resurrected in time for the next chapter.)