Episode 13: The Managers: footballsims

cheryl_bites in footballsims

Episode 13: The Managers

Nov 17, 2008 23:04

There have not been enough old crinklies in the game so far. I shall do my best to rectify that.

Once upon a time, there was a house that looked like a Neapolitan ice-cream.

And its inhabitants were Arsène Wenger,

Rafa Benitez,

Alex Ferguson,

and Cesare Prandelli, who was not too fond of Fergie’s advances.

Yes, unfortunately Cesare is the only Italian in a sea of EPL managers. I was going to put Roberto Mancini in there with him, but his Sim never came out right, so I gave up.

Besides, this way we have the makings of an excellent music hall joke! You know, a Scotsman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and an Italian walk into a bar together...

It’s Fergie’s house, by the way. He was responsible for the décor.

Arsène created a small island of taste in his half of the bedroom. (Plus wine. Lots of wine.)

Anyway, eventually some visitors arrived to welcome them to the neighbourhood. Two were townies and of no interest, but one was Gran.

Things went reasonably well at first,

until Gran got onto her favourite topic. Arsène was appalled.

Fortunately, Gran invited her much more attractive granddaughter, Megan,

and the two of them sat around discussing Raul.

Yeah, they still like him.

So, anyway, jobs.

Fergie made his thoughts on the subjects known straight away, and, after all, who was I to stand in his way? Thus, Man U got assigned the Criminal career. After all, Nemanja was already there anyway.

Rafa, however, was not convinced about this, and said so.

He urged Fergie to take up a culinary career.

Fergie briefly got very excited about this,

but then Arsène (probably wisely, knowing Scots) talked him out of it,

and he told Rafa he was too fat anyway. Charming!

Meanwhile, Arsène was in Architecture with Cesc, and Cesare in Journalism with Gila.

Cesare’s “I’ve Been Promoted” happy dance was a thing of joy,

but it wasn’t a patch on Arsène’s.

(*Blinks* Is Cesare giving us a coy look???)

Rafa in his wetsuit was an awesome sight.

He obviously had to work in Oceanography with Fernando and Pepe;

he is getting on fine with his workmates.

The managers co-existed surprisingly amicably,

and pursued their various hobbies;

Cesare grew fruit (although I don’t think those... things are going to be particularly edible),

and went birdwatching. I think he’s just spotted the Greater Lurking Frenchman.

Arsène, meanwhile, constructed his army of robots.

(Arsenal will take over the world once they are complete.)

And he made tea for Rafa,

who was very tired after all that marine biology.

Very tired.

Then I took them for an outing.

Cruzi on the swings: funniest thing ever, y/y?

Oh, no. Alex Ferguson pushing Cruzi on the swings: THAT is the funniest thing ever. Though somewhat disturbing.

Then they moved on to the spa, where Fergie discussed lipstick and jewellery with Roman.

I think Phil’s nervous expression shows that he’s realised he’s going to be the one wearing it. And frankly, Roman’s big grin is scary.

But he couldn’t escape because Fergie was in the way. XD

Anyway, Phil eventually got away with his virtue intact (well... no less intact than it usually is, anyway) and they moved on to a club.

Arsène didn’t like the giant twiddly gyroscope thing.

Anyway! I sent them all to get to know people.

Arsène invited Cesc home from work with him,

and Cesc tried vainly to look mature and intellectual.

D: No, Cesare, you may NOT get engaged to Gila.

Then Rafa invited Pepe’s entire household, plus all his mates.

Oh, hai, Christi... blimey, he looks a bit glum.

Ah! He’s lovesick.

Next, I was highly amused by this scenario. XD

...The “Phil Mexes” part referred to the bloke behind that woman, not the woman herself. But hey, ditzy blondes, same difference.

There was immediate chaos.

See? It didn’t get any less confusing, either.

There was a lot of talking to dogs,

and Christi still seemed very narked about something or other.

...Ah.

(Mancini was SO embarrassed that he and Cesc were wearing the same outfit.)

Meanwhile, Chivu explained to Fergie how he couldn’t see the eye chart at the optician’s if he held his hand over his eye.

Fergie didn’t know where to start with that one. (Is Cesare doing a little dance in the background?)

Arsène had to tell off one of the puppies for egregious misbehaviour. He terrified the poor animal.

Healthy Frenchman: salad. Unhealthy Frenchman: cocktails.

Then Arsène talked to Cesc about elephants,

while Mancini played the violin. (That violin was very popular. Keep an eye on it.)

Wait. Who’s this Brazilian?

Pato had come to, er, read their newspaper.

Arsène was initially pleased to meet him,

but sadly offended him horribly by discussing unsuitable subjects.

Pato got revenge by chopping him in half with a door.

(They pretended he’d done it, anyway - it seemed kinder than letting poor, silly Cesc find out he’d accidentally bisected his manager.)

Pato wasn’t a terribly considerate house guest. (Poor Rafa, his room is loud enough as it is...)

Nor was Pepe, who carried on playing the dread violin

after Fergie had gone to bed. (Do not want to know where/how Fergie got changed, if Pepe was in his bedroom.)

Arsène gamely attempted to talk about films with Mancini.

(Note that they have lit the fire. They’re going to regret that later.)

Meanwhile, Christi had taken over Pepe’s annoying violin duties.

He and Phil sat on Arsène’s couch and had a chinwag.

It was looking good at first,

but then they fell out again because they couldn’t agree about wizards. (I love the set of Christi’s chin in this picture - it’s like he’s saying “Well, I do like Harry Potter, so there!!”)