Episode B1: SIMS 3!
SIMS 3 TIME. I will be continuing with the old Sims 2 stuff, never fear; just thought I’d share some of the new pics as well. (Warning: it’s all rather ramshackle, as I didn’t understand how to work the game at first, then had to reinstall and lost several Sims. Never mind.)
Once upon a time there was an extremely grumpy Sim called Pippo Inzaghi.
He was grumpy at the beach
and extra-grumpy when he had to put on his nice pink scrubs.
Next door to him there lived Luis Figo, who was beefier but just as unimpressed with life, epecially when he burnt his waffles.
Luis lived with Sammy Eto’o, and Pippo lived with Luca Castellazzi, who was frankly alarming.
See?
Across the road was the home of Pantaleo Corvino, who was - yes - grumpy!
Sammy was a kind and helpful Sim who was always ready to lend others a hand,
but even he sometimes wondered why. (Note that, according to the caption, Pippo is excited. Well, it’s a good thing we had it to tell us that.)
When Pippo wasn’t grumping, he kept himself busy doing... whatever he’s doing here,
aided and abetted by Luca, who seemed to think Figo was in the wrong for being screamed at by an insane skinny man.
Apparently he thought Figo had stolen some diamonds from him,
because he grew remarkably vehement.
?!??!???! Excuse me, Sims 3, when did I tell you to do that?!
CASTELLAZZI TAKES EVIL SHOWERS. FUCK YES.
Then I reinstalled the game and lost all those Sims, so let’s move on to another household: specifically, that of Mario Balotelli and Ezequiel Lavezzi.
At first their home life was pretty tranquil: Lavezzi cooked, Mario read books.
The fact that Mario is sitting at the extreme other end of the room from filthy!Lavezzi should give you some idea of the horrors to come.
Yep.
Then they stopped up the toilet and, when the repair person arrived, Lavezzi invited them to sit on the sofa and get stoned watch TV instead of, you know, FIXING THE TOILET.
Thanks for nothing, repair person!
...So Mario had to do it. I admit to deriving considerable amusement from this concept.
As a consequence of this, a maid was hired. Unfortunately, the maid they chose was the Bride of Chucky.
...And even she thinks Lavezzi’s weird. QED.
Lavezzi didn’t like going to work.
He wanted to dance around in his sprinkler (in full evening dress, cos that’s how he rolls),
but people kept insisting on shutting him in freezers! (Lavezzi... screaming? When he’s not on the pitch? I find this hard to believe.)
I did get him a nicer kitchen, though. That cheered him up a bit when the tap was exploding.
Mario, meanwhile, went to the swimming pool and instantly impressed this bird. Nice work, my son!
...LOL @ that jealous gadge. XD
He also won an eating contest. Is there no end to his talents?!
A burglar broke into the lads’ house and nicked their TV! D:
Get him, Mario!
(OK, so he wasn’t actually called upon to do owt. But if he had been? HE WOULD HAVE BEEN READY.)
...Lavezzi, needless to say, slept through it all.
At the gym, Mario met a MassMo.
(He also randomly alienated a complete stranger, but let’s not get into that.)
MassMo invited him round to his and Bedy’s house, which he soon came to regret,
especially as Mario hogged the mirror in the bathroom
so that nobody could use the toilet. (Why do I always take screenshots of MassMo doing disturbing things?! Bugger me.)
Bedy, reassuringly, is always amazing, and is also conveniently fireproof.
(MassMo is rather slow on the uptake.)
When I took them on holiday to China, though, things got more interesting.
(I admire Bedy’s ability to train in those pointy boots.)
OMG WOW. <3
I love you, Bedy.
Then she had a fight with MassMo, which was really quite impressive;
“slinked” is not a word, but every other aspect of this scenario is accurate. 9/10.
...Mind you, perhaps we’d better tell Bedy that she doesn’t need to eat pasta with chopsticks.
Back to the Sims 2 action for the next chapter.