Friday the 13th
i wish life was like my dreams:everything goes the way i want it too and its so peaceful and just blissfull. but who am i kidding? thatll never happen. i dont want everything to be perfect tho. no i hate perfection. its too fake and all i want is something real. i cleaned my house this morning like a mad woman just to keep busy. and then i tanned for 2 hours and fell asleep cause this morning i was woken up at 7 oclock. yeah and now im just sitting in bed again listening to sad songs and crying. me and sarah got in a fight because it seems like she preaches to me all the time but is then sooo hypocritical. but we just made up and we talked shit out. we talked about a bunch and now i just wanna cry. i dont care if you think im a baby...i am...but i dont care and you dont understand and thats probably my fault too. crying is like cutting myself, starving myself, drinking, or w/e but it doesnt hurt me. its just my stress reliever. and id rather cry then do any of those other things. so i dont see it as making me a baby but its actually a more mature act because im picking a safer way to make myself feel better. whatever though think what you want and ill think what i want....well i wanna be like by myself now so im out, rach