Tristes Apprets [Naruto FanFic] [ItaSaku]
Title: Tristes Apprets.
Characters/Pairings: Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Itachi, Nara Shikamaru ( & Temari). ItaSaku, ShikaSaku, ShikaTema
Rating: mature... ish?
Summary: Happy endings are never what it looks like, even if you never wanted one.
Notes: I was doing another song writing meme. Tristes Apprets as featured in the Marie Antoinette soundtrack came up, followed by Avril 14th... and what was only supposed to be a song long just sort of exploded on me. It turned into this thing... a note about marriages, I think. I am the daughter of a broken one, so the perfect marriage is a concept as broken and as far away to me as fairies are to everyone else. Plus the song spoke to me of a moment where Marie Antoinette finally managed to set her marriage at ease with heirs, but all of France and the court hated her. So I wanted to create a moment where we don't get what we wanted, but we... find a variable through a measured amount of tolerance, hope and persistence. I recommend the soundtrack, its amazing, a blend of old world and new. Lastly... I have no idea if thats a law or not. I made it up on the spot. Weirder shit has happened in the history of laws.
standard disclaimers apply.
"Words fail me all the time
I don't even feel like talking
still I go on and on
I'm dying here and you keep walking
why are you asking me this?
can't you see I'm trying?
I don't like it like this
no, I think I'm dying"
I don't like it like this - the radio dept.
--------------------------
She refused to look at him, just stared at the ground while he waltzed her around the ballroom. Her fashionably dyed pink hair was done in a simple style, and though it was raised up she was still half a head shorter then him.
"It is not your fault, Lord Uchiha. I tried to tell them no. But, my inheritance aside, I'll never be good enough for you in societies eyes. Not for a Duke."
He said nothing as he spun her again. She looked away. Once more they turned. This had been their dance, always. "I am to marry Nara and there isn't much choice in it. I don't have the blood your family wants."
"Nara would make a fine husband."
It felt like a slap in the face. She hissed out through her teeth. "He might be, but I have nothing to say to him, and he finds my work... troublesome. In fact I don't think he plans to pay the slightest bit of attention to me."
It felt all too much in his arms, so warm and safe, she let him go and took a step back from him, trying to define the distance they would have to enforce for the rest of their lives. She held her tears firmly. "Thank-you Lord Uchiha, I enjoyed the dance very much."
He tried to think of something to say, to stop her as she turned on her heel and with a determined and entirely unladylike movement that he had always loved in her, she went to leave. But he couldn't... couldn't let her be another Sasuke. He struggled to find the words. "Sakura." he said softly. It didn't work.
"Sakura." Louder. Still nothing.
"Sakura" he practically shouted, which he never did. Not even when he needed to. This time she stopped, but didn't turn. The rest of the ballroom stopped as well. "Please, Sakura."
Slowly she turned, he saw the way her chest heaved with her effort to keep herself under control. But he couldn't bare to make the same mistake again, he reach forward and grabbed her shoulder, pulling her close and kissed her. There was a gasp from the ballroom. Sakura's tears were warm on his cheek as she allowed herself a second, one warm soft heartbreaking second in his arms before pulling away and slapping him hard. His hand rose incredulous to his face, over the slap mark that was turning a light pink.
"Too little, too late Itachi. I'm married by special license." She pushed him back, her temper swelling. "You and society never understood, I never wanted to be married, I wanted to be a spinster, I wanted to do my charity work and have my own life... though none of that matters any more, as the fools rule the masses and I no longer have any freedom." she drew in a breath, her temper cooling, her eyes softened and she took another step back "Good bye."
She turned and with every bit of dignity she could muster, left the ballroom.
----------------------The carriage was silent on the journey home.
"I'm very sorry Shikamaru, I tried my best. I am afraid I am going to be quiet cold as a wife, though I respect your honour, I'll sire no children that aren't yours."
He caste her a short glance, assessing her for a moment. "Good job on slapping him, I really didn't want to call him out for kissing you, Itachi is a good shot."
Sakura gave a small laugh. "I'll defend my own honour where I can. If I can't well... I'll see to it where it comes."
He nodded then sighed, "This marriage is going to be troublesome."
"I'll make it bearable, I'm quiet cheerful... usually. Though I am afraid I won't enter society much after this. Your house will be organised, and my family gives healthy children. If I have an affair, it'll be discreet. If it ever happens."
Shikamaru's eyebrows rose for a minute, he chuckled and then decided to ignore that particular bit of information. "You are very much in love with Itachi, aren't you?"
She stilled for a moment then,"Yes."
"Why didn't you accept his offer then?"
"Because I didn't want to be married." she gritted her teeth.
"You were being serious?" he didn't seem all the surprised. But then Shikamaru didn't seem all that interested in anything apart from staring at the sky.
"Very. I wanted to do my work, I wanted to be a doctor. I nursed men during the war, though my mother told everyone I was sick and couldn't leave the house. I wanted to keep my money and set up a centre for women to come and get help. But due to my escapade in my youth for the better part of six months, they were insisting I get married. Like I was some unruly child."
"You still can, you know." Nara muttered. "You may not love me but I am not a tyrant... It sounds like a good thing your work... I have no interest in changing you either, don't understand any of this nonsense about reigning a woman in. And as to the other matter, if you are discreet, I will be also."
"You have a lover?"
He paused, assessing once more. "... Yes. Lady Sabuko."
"Temari?" Sakura's eyebrows shot up.
"Don't look like that, everybody does when I say so. She is much like yourself, she didn't want to be married and her brothers... didn't force her over it. Gaara is a total recluse, half mad, but he loves his family. She understands I needed an heir though, she respects you in her odd way, and she's promised to stay away till I get said... beastie of a child."
"This is to be a discreet and logical alliance, rather then a marriage?" It could be worse. He could hate her. She could hate him. But she could deal with friendship. There were worse conditions to raise a child in. She lent forward, offering her hand, they swayed as the carriage rocked on the roads.
He looked at her hand, then at her. "Exactly. I am glad you are not a... overly hysterical woman." He shrugged and took her hand.
"No. Not always. Nursing doesn't let you be. I have my moments, such as before. But as along as we have some sort of respect and friendship, I am well and truly prepared to work at this."
Shikamaru gave a small one-sided smile, Sakura smiled back.
"One last thing, as you can tell, I won't actually need any of your money. I have quiet a large amount, so you can keep your dowry. But I'll advise you in investment of it, that is all. I know you have no knack for it."
Sakura thought for a moment. "You're right... I occasionally gamble. A habit I learnt in the nursing tents I am afraid. Never very much, mind you. Except when I am particularly upset. But if you teach me, I shall learn quick enough."
"True enough. Try never get a debt larger then a thousand pounds, amounts larger then that take more time to recoup." he sounded as bored as ever.
Sakura thought for a moment about what he said, how he said it and this whole discussion, the ballroom and Itachi. And very slowly her smile spread, wider again and she began to giggle, then laugh completely. Shikamaru leaned back in the carriage and went to look out the window with a small smile on his face.
------------------------
Sakura's young son looked nothing like her, neither did his elder brother, who was currently away on a trip with his father. But currently the young son was running in the garden of the Nara estates. Sakura herself was sitting on a picnic blanket, smearing a creamy french cheese on a cracker. She watched her child carefully, hawk like even as she enjoyed herself in the early spring sun.
Beside her sat Itachi. He wasn't watching the boy, he didn't care for it at all. It wasn't his child. Though he'd grieve for Sakura if anything had happened, as he had when she lost her first child. She had risen remarkably well to the roll of being a mother. He couldn't grudge Nara however, the man was quiet amiable, just as he had guessed. The only man that could take this whole ordeal without a bat of an eyelid. But then, he was going to visit Temari in Italy, and had said that Itachi could stay for awhile, so everything worked out well. It killed Itachi, to watch her fuss of the brown hair and eyed child that had just enough Sakura in him that they ran around instead of just laying down and staring. It should of been a black hair child that would demand of his mother and father as surely as they demanded of each other.
Sakura however had been quiet firm about his stay. She was pregnant again, and until the child was born she wouldn't take a man to her bed, husband or otherwise. He was to stay in separate rooms as well. Though society would never believe that, if they knew. But then, there were lots of things society never knew. That her friendship with Nara had been fulfilling, and though they never loved one another as anything but old friends, they were skilled enough with each other that despite the lack of stronger passions, they had lighter ones instead, and all attempts to get a child were made with a great deal of laughter and a considerable amount of champagne. That Itachi only ever danced the waltz with her in private anymore. That usually it led to her being kissed thoroughly till her whole body shook. Then they would both be left cold because their duty and their roles was... firm like that.
But, she had said, eyes mischievous. This would be her last child, Shikamaru had promised. Three was enough. He would stop coming to her bed chamber after this, then he was probably going to spend more time in Italy, he had said and just like their marriage had started, they sorted out the details then and there. After the youngest was born and reached the age of 12, it would go with Shikamaru, just like the other two. He had bought her a house in town, and told her to come to him if she ever needed investment assistance, but as far as he was concerned, she was free of him, and she could consider herself unmarried in all but the eyes of the law. They signed their signatures and the deal was struck. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him the next child was going to be a girl, and that Temari had better make she was just as feisty as their father deserved. But she was Countess Nara, and as such, the doors would always be open, out of friendship more then duty.
The rules they had laid down on their carriage ride that night had lasted them the last 12 years. Sakura herself had never taken a lover beyond the odd heated session with Itachi, and when Temari was in town, their liaisons were always so low key most people had no idea what was happening. Sakura never gambled more then a thousand pounds and she learnt the basics of investment schemes from Shikamaru. She was finally independent like she had longed to be, just 12 years later then she had hoped.
Itachi gently put his hand on Sakura's waist, feeling her warmth through the layers of skirts that she sat ruffled in. She turned him gave him a very small smile. He just pulled her closer.
It wasn't the fairy tale ending. But Sakura never wanted that anyway.
-----------------------------(and because I just couldn't resist):
The three Nara children looked at their half brother over the grave, the coffin of Sakura Haruno being lowered down slowly. They assessed each other like both their fathers had taught them. Calculating where they stood, their weakness and strength.
All they had in common was a memory of something that that neither of them understood. They moved away from the grave slowly as the crowd dispersed like a black cloud after a storm.
It was the daughter that broke the barrier first. "Tell us about her."
The young Uchiha - the Uchiha Bastard, that is going to inherit, as everyone whispered - thought very hard for a moment.
"She liked to dance."
They fell into step as they walked away. Their fathers watched them.
"You know, I am sure there was a much easier way for an alliance to be formed then this business, Itachi." Shikamaru murmured.
"I'd hardly call it a alliance, I am in your debt for finding that loophole so that my son could inherit the title."
He shrugged. "You had a common law marriage that you both lived together as partner's for a long time, and once I testified that I hadn't taken my... husbandly rights... with her for a very long time... and we'd formally agreed upon things to be separate, it really wasn't much of a big deal. She loved you very much, she'd want this."
"How is Duchess Temari?"
"Annoyed, she says that if she'd known Sakura gave such good stock, she'd of forced the girl to marry Gaara, and she'd never had to have taken the title herself until one of Kankuro's brats get old enough."
Itachi permitted a small smile, then struggled to find the words that he was loathe to speak, but had to anyway... some things were just duty. "She said you made her laugh,"
"She'd laugh at me, if thats what you mean. Said I deserved having a nag for a wife, and she wouldn't be such a damn nag if I was slightly less lazy. She'd always organize my notes for me. She learnt to forge me signature at one point, to get the paper work out of the way of the house faster. Just be lucky you only had to go through one pregnancy with her. I went through two and quarter. The woman was a tyrant."
Itachi nodded, amusement glittering in his eyes. "That would be just like her... and I am truly lucky on that account... Shall we head inside, there is a chill coming up."
Shikamaru nodded and they headed for the manor house.
Characters/Pairings: Haruno Sakura, Uchiha Itachi, Nara Shikamaru ( & Temari). ItaSaku, ShikaSaku, ShikaTema
Rating: mature... ish?
Summary: Happy endings are never what it looks like, even if you never wanted one.
Notes: I was doing another song writing meme. Tristes Apprets as featured in the Marie Antoinette soundtrack came up, followed by Avril 14th... and what was only supposed to be a song long just sort of exploded on me. It turned into this thing... a note about marriages, I think. I am the daughter of a broken one, so the perfect marriage is a concept as broken and as far away to me as fairies are to everyone else. Plus the song spoke to me of a moment where Marie Antoinette finally managed to set her marriage at ease with heirs, but all of France and the court hated her. So I wanted to create a moment where we don't get what we wanted, but we... find a variable through a measured amount of tolerance, hope and persistence. I recommend the soundtrack, its amazing, a blend of old world and new. Lastly... I have no idea if thats a law or not. I made it up on the spot. Weirder shit has happened in the history of laws.
standard disclaimers apply.
"Words fail me all the time
I don't even feel like talking
still I go on and on
I'm dying here and you keep walking
why are you asking me this?
can't you see I'm trying?
I don't like it like this
no, I think I'm dying"
I don't like it like this - the radio dept.
--------------------------
She refused to look at him, just stared at the ground while he waltzed her around the ballroom. Her fashionably dyed pink hair was done in a simple style, and though it was raised up she was still half a head shorter then him.
"It is not your fault, Lord Uchiha. I tried to tell them no. But, my inheritance aside, I'll never be good enough for you in societies eyes. Not for a Duke."
He said nothing as he spun her again. She looked away. Once more they turned. This had been their dance, always. "I am to marry Nara and there isn't much choice in it. I don't have the blood your family wants."
"Nara would make a fine husband."
It felt like a slap in the face. She hissed out through her teeth. "He might be, but I have nothing to say to him, and he finds my work... troublesome. In fact I don't think he plans to pay the slightest bit of attention to me."
It felt all too much in his arms, so warm and safe, she let him go and took a step back from him, trying to define the distance they would have to enforce for the rest of their lives. She held her tears firmly. "Thank-you Lord Uchiha, I enjoyed the dance very much."
He tried to think of something to say, to stop her as she turned on her heel and with a determined and entirely unladylike movement that he had always loved in her, she went to leave. But he couldn't... couldn't let her be another Sasuke. He struggled to find the words. "Sakura." he said softly. It didn't work.
"Sakura." Louder. Still nothing.
"Sakura" he practically shouted, which he never did. Not even when he needed to. This time she stopped, but didn't turn. The rest of the ballroom stopped as well. "Please, Sakura."
Slowly she turned, he saw the way her chest heaved with her effort to keep herself under control. But he couldn't bare to make the same mistake again, he reach forward and grabbed her shoulder, pulling her close and kissed her. There was a gasp from the ballroom. Sakura's tears were warm on his cheek as she allowed herself a second, one warm soft heartbreaking second in his arms before pulling away and slapping him hard. His hand rose incredulous to his face, over the slap mark that was turning a light pink.
"Too little, too late Itachi. I'm married by special license." She pushed him back, her temper swelling. "You and society never understood, I never wanted to be married, I wanted to be a spinster, I wanted to do my charity work and have my own life... though none of that matters any more, as the fools rule the masses and I no longer have any freedom." she drew in a breath, her temper cooling, her eyes softened and she took another step back "Good bye."
She turned and with every bit of dignity she could muster, left the ballroom.
----------------------The carriage was silent on the journey home.
"I'm very sorry Shikamaru, I tried my best. I am afraid I am going to be quiet cold as a wife, though I respect your honour, I'll sire no children that aren't yours."
He caste her a short glance, assessing her for a moment. "Good job on slapping him, I really didn't want to call him out for kissing you, Itachi is a good shot."
Sakura gave a small laugh. "I'll defend my own honour where I can. If I can't well... I'll see to it where it comes."
He nodded then sighed, "This marriage is going to be troublesome."
"I'll make it bearable, I'm quiet cheerful... usually. Though I am afraid I won't enter society much after this. Your house will be organised, and my family gives healthy children. If I have an affair, it'll be discreet. If it ever happens."
Shikamaru's eyebrows rose for a minute, he chuckled and then decided to ignore that particular bit of information. "You are very much in love with Itachi, aren't you?"
She stilled for a moment then,"Yes."
"Why didn't you accept his offer then?"
"Because I didn't want to be married." she gritted her teeth.
"You were being serious?" he didn't seem all the surprised. But then Shikamaru didn't seem all that interested in anything apart from staring at the sky.
"Very. I wanted to do my work, I wanted to be a doctor. I nursed men during the war, though my mother told everyone I was sick and couldn't leave the house. I wanted to keep my money and set up a centre for women to come and get help. But due to my escapade in my youth for the better part of six months, they were insisting I get married. Like I was some unruly child."
"You still can, you know." Nara muttered. "You may not love me but I am not a tyrant... It sounds like a good thing your work... I have no interest in changing you either, don't understand any of this nonsense about reigning a woman in. And as to the other matter, if you are discreet, I will be also."
"You have a lover?"
He paused, assessing once more. "... Yes. Lady Sabuko."
"Temari?" Sakura's eyebrows shot up.
"Don't look like that, everybody does when I say so. She is much like yourself, she didn't want to be married and her brothers... didn't force her over it. Gaara is a total recluse, half mad, but he loves his family. She understands I needed an heir though, she respects you in her odd way, and she's promised to stay away till I get said... beastie of a child."
"This is to be a discreet and logical alliance, rather then a marriage?" It could be worse. He could hate her. She could hate him. But she could deal with friendship. There were worse conditions to raise a child in. She lent forward, offering her hand, they swayed as the carriage rocked on the roads.
He looked at her hand, then at her. "Exactly. I am glad you are not a... overly hysterical woman." He shrugged and took her hand.
"No. Not always. Nursing doesn't let you be. I have my moments, such as before. But as along as we have some sort of respect and friendship, I am well and truly prepared to work at this."
Shikamaru gave a small one-sided smile, Sakura smiled back.
"One last thing, as you can tell, I won't actually need any of your money. I have quiet a large amount, so you can keep your dowry. But I'll advise you in investment of it, that is all. I know you have no knack for it."
Sakura thought for a moment. "You're right... I occasionally gamble. A habit I learnt in the nursing tents I am afraid. Never very much, mind you. Except when I am particularly upset. But if you teach me, I shall learn quick enough."
"True enough. Try never get a debt larger then a thousand pounds, amounts larger then that take more time to recoup." he sounded as bored as ever.
Sakura thought for a moment about what he said, how he said it and this whole discussion, the ballroom and Itachi. And very slowly her smile spread, wider again and she began to giggle, then laugh completely. Shikamaru leaned back in the carriage and went to look out the window with a small smile on his face.
------------------------
Sakura's young son looked nothing like her, neither did his elder brother, who was currently away on a trip with his father. But currently the young son was running in the garden of the Nara estates. Sakura herself was sitting on a picnic blanket, smearing a creamy french cheese on a cracker. She watched her child carefully, hawk like even as she enjoyed herself in the early spring sun.
Beside her sat Itachi. He wasn't watching the boy, he didn't care for it at all. It wasn't his child. Though he'd grieve for Sakura if anything had happened, as he had when she lost her first child. She had risen remarkably well to the roll of being a mother. He couldn't grudge Nara however, the man was quiet amiable, just as he had guessed. The only man that could take this whole ordeal without a bat of an eyelid. But then, he was going to visit Temari in Italy, and had said that Itachi could stay for awhile, so everything worked out well. It killed Itachi, to watch her fuss of the brown hair and eyed child that had just enough Sakura in him that they ran around instead of just laying down and staring. It should of been a black hair child that would demand of his mother and father as surely as they demanded of each other.
Sakura however had been quiet firm about his stay. She was pregnant again, and until the child was born she wouldn't take a man to her bed, husband or otherwise. He was to stay in separate rooms as well. Though society would never believe that, if they knew. But then, there were lots of things society never knew. That her friendship with Nara had been fulfilling, and though they never loved one another as anything but old friends, they were skilled enough with each other that despite the lack of stronger passions, they had lighter ones instead, and all attempts to get a child were made with a great deal of laughter and a considerable amount of champagne. That Itachi only ever danced the waltz with her in private anymore. That usually it led to her being kissed thoroughly till her whole body shook. Then they would both be left cold because their duty and their roles was... firm like that.
But, she had said, eyes mischievous. This would be her last child, Shikamaru had promised. Three was enough. He would stop coming to her bed chamber after this, then he was probably going to spend more time in Italy, he had said and just like their marriage had started, they sorted out the details then and there. After the youngest was born and reached the age of 12, it would go with Shikamaru, just like the other two. He had bought her a house in town, and told her to come to him if she ever needed investment assistance, but as far as he was concerned, she was free of him, and she could consider herself unmarried in all but the eyes of the law. They signed their signatures and the deal was struck. She gave him a kiss on the cheek and told him the next child was going to be a girl, and that Temari had better make she was just as feisty as their father deserved. But she was Countess Nara, and as such, the doors would always be open, out of friendship more then duty.
The rules they had laid down on their carriage ride that night had lasted them the last 12 years. Sakura herself had never taken a lover beyond the odd heated session with Itachi, and when Temari was in town, their liaisons were always so low key most people had no idea what was happening. Sakura never gambled more then a thousand pounds and she learnt the basics of investment schemes from Shikamaru. She was finally independent like she had longed to be, just 12 years later then she had hoped.
Itachi gently put his hand on Sakura's waist, feeling her warmth through the layers of skirts that she sat ruffled in. She turned him gave him a very small smile. He just pulled her closer.
It wasn't the fairy tale ending. But Sakura never wanted that anyway.
-----------------------------(and because I just couldn't resist):
The three Nara children looked at their half brother over the grave, the coffin of Sakura Haruno being lowered down slowly. They assessed each other like both their fathers had taught them. Calculating where they stood, their weakness and strength.
All they had in common was a memory of something that that neither of them understood. They moved away from the grave slowly as the crowd dispersed like a black cloud after a storm.
It was the daughter that broke the barrier first. "Tell us about her."
The young Uchiha - the Uchiha Bastard, that is going to inherit, as everyone whispered - thought very hard for a moment.
"She liked to dance."
They fell into step as they walked away. Their fathers watched them.
"You know, I am sure there was a much easier way for an alliance to be formed then this business, Itachi." Shikamaru murmured.
"I'd hardly call it a alliance, I am in your debt for finding that loophole so that my son could inherit the title."
He shrugged. "You had a common law marriage that you both lived together as partner's for a long time, and once I testified that I hadn't taken my... husbandly rights... with her for a very long time... and we'd formally agreed upon things to be separate, it really wasn't much of a big deal. She loved you very much, she'd want this."
"How is Duchess Temari?"
"Annoyed, she says that if she'd known Sakura gave such good stock, she'd of forced the girl to marry Gaara, and she'd never had to have taken the title herself until one of Kankuro's brats get old enough."
Itachi permitted a small smile, then struggled to find the words that he was loathe to speak, but had to anyway... some things were just duty. "She said you made her laugh,"
"She'd laugh at me, if thats what you mean. Said I deserved having a nag for a wife, and she wouldn't be such a damn nag if I was slightly less lazy. She'd always organize my notes for me. She learnt to forge me signature at one point, to get the paper work out of the way of the house faster. Just be lucky you only had to go through one pregnancy with her. I went through two and quarter. The woman was a tyrant."
Itachi nodded, amusement glittering in his eyes. "That would be just like her... and I am truly lucky on that account... Shall we head inside, there is a chill coming up."
Shikamaru nodded and they headed for the manor house.