George W. - Father Knows Best?
I’m usually not very politically opinionated.
Bwahahahahah!
Ok, I can’t even say that with a straight face, but this post, however politically infused it may seem, is not intended to start a political debate. This post is on parenting strategies.
Let me explain...
So, I was watching the movie V for Vendetta the other night and I just couldn’t help notice the similarities between the current presidential administration and the movie’s premise. If you haven’t seen the movie, it’s basically about a man seeking revenge on the government of a futuristic Britain; a government whose supreme ruler came to power under questionable circumstances; relies on fear, intimidation and lies to justify exchanging civil liberties for protection; persecutes gays (and other groups); and uses the media as his personal mouthpiece.
Yeah…sounds familiar doesn’t it.
Anyway…the truth is, whether you hate George W. or love him, you simply can’t ignore the fact that his tactics work. He has managed to perfect his “Father knows best” routine into such a believable ruse that an entire nation (or at least the majority needed to get him re-elected) has been left without the ability to think for themselves.
Which brings me to my point.
Wouldn’t it be great if we could apply this strategy to parenting? I mean, isn’t it at least a little tempting - the promise of demure, completely submissive children who follow you blindly and believe every word that comes out of your mouth? Wouldn’t it be so peaceful?
Well, sure, it’s a tad bit devious, but let’s, just for the sake of argument, check out Mr. Bush’s tactics and see if they can be utilized in our daily lives as parents…before we make any hasty decisions on “decency.”
1) Scare Tactics
Also known as: The Terrorists are Coming, The Terrorists are Coming!
This is an amazing control tool. The principle is simple really - when people are frightened they tend to look to authority figures for reassurance - and oh, so easy to convert to parenting stratagem. So easy, in fact, that if you think about it, parents having been using it for years. How many times have you heard parents say to their children things like: “Don’t put that in your mouth, you’ll choke on it and die”; or “If you don’t eat all your vegetables you’re never going to get any bigger”; and “You’re going to go blind sitting that close to the television.”
2) Using Generalizations
You’re probably more familiar with this strategy when it’s used in an example such as this hypothetical explanation to President Bush from an advisor: “If we cunningly lump them all into one category, who’s going to know the difference between a) al Qaeda (a terrorist network), b) the Taliban (a group of Muslim fundamentalist rulers in Afganistan), and c) Iraq (a country full of people who, to the naked eye, look very similar to both a and b).”
The key to generalizing is that you have to be able to recognize when it will be most effective. Saying things like: “That boyfriend of yours is nothing more than a common criminal,” just doesn’t work. It will accomplish nothing more than putting your daughter on the defensive and ensuring that you will spend the rest of the evening listening to her test the strength of her bedroom, bathroom and closet doors by repeatedly opening and slamming them shut. Generalizations have to be subtler. Instead you might try: “I was watching Law and Order the other night and this murderer who was on trial for killing seven people had a tattoo just like Chuck’s,” and then follow it up with more innuendo as in, “you know, I read this really interesting article about how there’s a significant association between guy’s who don’t remember birthdays and domestic violence.”
3) Manipulating the media
Ok, so this is a tough one. Without the money and power behind us that George W. has at his disposal, we can’t hope to actually manipulate the media. Seriously, if we went about spouting things like: “God spoke to me and told me to {insert violent military action here}!” we’d be more likely to have the men in little white suits pounding on our door than a reporter from CNN. However, just because we can’t control the media doesn’t mean we can’t use it to our advantage. Every day, there are numerous opportunities to parentally exploit the American journalistic motto: “violence always sells tickets.”
The beauty of this device is that the media does all the work for you. All that is required to employ this tactic is to make your children watch the daily news. Stories about kidnappings, gang violence, AIDS, serial killings, and school shootings are abundant on the networks. And if these broadcasts don’t succeed in justifying everything you’ve preached to your child about the dangers of the outside world, and in effect, terrifying them into complete obedience, feel free to supplement them by scattering a few issues of Time and Newsweek strategically about the house (the bathroom works well).
Sounds simple, right?
And, wait a minute…it doesn’t just sound simple, but familiar. In fact, don’t most parents already employ these exercises in parental control - even if not consciously, at least consequentially? Come on, admit it. Every parent I’ve ever met has lied to their child to make him behave (“Your face is going to freeze that way”); used generalizations to manipulate (“how can you trust anyone who only dresses in black?”); and employed the media as testimony to the dangers of the world outside their parental realm of safety.
So if we’re already using all of these proven techniques, why aren’t they effective? Why do our children continue to defy us? Why don’t Bush’s tactics work as well for us as they work for him?
A conundrum to be sure, one I pondered for hours. What I came up with is both saddening and encouraging.
I think that this up-and-coming generation is simply less gullible than we are. And this gives me hope.
They may be desensitized to violence, but at least they won’t cower in the face of fear, scurrying to whatever leader offers them safety for a hefty price.
They may be shockingly diverse, showing individuality by means of tongue piercing and full body tattooing, but at least they’re less likely to be intolerant of those who are different from them.
They may be disobedient and outspoken, but at least maybe they won’t trade their idealisms for blind compliance.
As corny as it may sound, the children are our future. Or rather, not our future, but their future. It belongs to them. And if they’ve learned anything from the George W. Bush’s of our world, let us hope it’s simply that Father doesn’t always know best.