To Save the World Entire

[eglantine_br]

Title: To save the world entire

Author Eglantine_br

Rating G but not nice

Word Count 1156

To Save the World Entire

Horatio thrust his chair back with a scrape. He was out the door and into the hallway before he allowed himself to think. His breath was heaving, rasping. He leaned a moment against the wall. This was a shabby hallway, no wider than a

Comments

[anteros_lmc]

On the one hand I almost didn't want to read this, because I don't want it to happen. On the other hand it's impossible not to feel for Mariette and to appreciate why she took comfort where ever she could find it. But no matter how I feel or her, and I really do, because you have written her so sympathetically, I still can't help thinking of Archie at the bridge, waiting and waiting and waiting...

[eglantine_br]

I had a hard time writing it, for the same reason. I did not go into Horatio's thoughts because I think he was not really thinking much at all.

This is written from the outside, if you know what I mean, and I think it is the worse for it.

I feel sorry for Mariette too.

[anteros_lmc]

I did not go into Horatio's thoughts because I think he was not really thinking much at all.
Yes I agree completely.

This is written from the outside, if you know what I mean, and I think it is the worse for it.
I do know what you mean but I think it's perfect for this piece. Everything is wrong at Muzillac, nothing is as it should be and no one really knows where they stand. Under such circumstances, this slightly detached perspective is perfect. Somehow it adds to the unbearable tension of the situation.

[eglantine_br]

I feel that the little town used to be, perhaps not fair or equal, but stable.

Now the structure is torn. Sometimes that is the only way things can change, but it must be hellish to live through.

[rikibeth]

Anteros pretty much said everything for me.

[eglantine_br]

I am going to read your story in a little bit, to cheer myself up. And yes, i did get the email. Thanks.

[rikibeth]

Any time. Next time I get writer's block I'm just going to organize that "age of sail reference" bookmark folder into sub-folders. Military, food, travel, clothing, architecture...

[eglantine_br]

Well. It was very cheering. R is a good and careful man. It was quite believable. Sweet and warm. Caroline is lucky.

[vespican]

I really enjoy the way in which you expand and detail scenes we are all familiar with from the movies.
Dave

[eglantine_br]

It is wonderful how the movies provide a place for the story to sort of grip.

[idler_1814]

Oh, very well done. I agree....writing from the "outside" works perfectly for this piece.

They are both so young, thrust into situations they should never have been forced to experience....and you capture the sense of it so beautifully. The style in which you wrote was a brilliant choice, imo--spare, plainspoken, without extensive description or analysis--and works to convey their uncertainty, and that they are simply dealing with their circumstances in the best way they know how. It's far, far more effective than any extensive description or analysis might have been, I think.

And it's made all the more poignant by knowing how it will ultimately play out.

Really nice! Thanks for sharing!

[eglantine_br]

Thank you. I was flummoxed by how I could not see this one from the inside. But if it works the way it is, that is what matters. I agree about them being caught up, forced by events. Interesting to read about in a history book-- but must have been scary to live through.

[nodbear]

Getting here late and in the midst of all the usual excuses = which are not really excuses at all .But a great piece of work nonetheless

I feel that Anteros has said much of it too = I wsa not sure about reading it either but I knew it woule be worth the while of course .

i think that MAriette, Archie ,, Horatio, Edington are all caught up in the wrongness in exactly the way you describe - and which is sympotomatic of what war does - there must have been many such ( relatively ) fleeting encounters in every war -the attempt to do right when the cruelty, intransigence and greed of others actaully means it is almost impossible.
Poor Archie = who would have been equally chivalrous had he been there but who does not know and so has the agony of waiting- and then as has been ssaid there is the outcome that we know is there. It is true in one very profound sense that to save even one life is to save the world entire - and yet in this desperate place Horatio cannot even do that - and it is to Archie that strength comes

[eglantine_br]

It is funny, for the longest time I did not even like Mariette. It was easy to resent her. But now that I have written her, she has become real to me. Poor girl. She tried so hard, and never got much of a break.

I agree that Archie would have been equally chivalrous, (and more dashing than adorably dorky.) And I think, ultimately, both he and Edrington understand what H was up to.