I used to be in a war
I like updating in bulletins. If my manager were here, he'd say 'You know what else I like? You mum!' Then he'd play Dubstep at a deafening volume for five hours. Good old Colin.
- Heather's playing 'Nine In The Afternoon' on her iPhone. I'm telling her to turn it up. What. A. Fucking. Loser. I. Am.
- I seem to have been roped into dying the whole underneath of her hair pink. She dyed her hair black a few weeks ago so as you can imagine, bleaching isn't going too well. She looks like she's caught the ginger.
- I went back to Dreamwidth. As soon as I told all the fanfiction-writers to take a running jump, it became a more interesting place. I just copy the entries over, like the lazy cow I am. They'll never know, the stupid wankers.
- If you want Charity workers to leave you alone in the high street, just start shrieking and flailing - they give you a wide berth. Rob tried this with a man who tried to sell him Sky TV outside Poundland. He soon backed off.
- Mark Gatiss is my new hero. I want to grow up to be him, beard and all. You know what's kind of related? The next-door-neighbours are called Tubbs and they're all hideous, just like Tubbs in The League Of Gentlemen that Gatiss was in. I lean up against the adjoining wall and bellow 'YOU MUSTN'T TOUCH THE PRECIOUS THINGS!' and we all have a chuckle.
- Heather's trying to wash her hair and eat Salt 'n' Vinegar discos at the same time! Fuck Mark Gatiss, Heather's my new role model. I shall say 'Cunt' loudly in Tescos, and get drunk on shots in nightclubs.
- I forgot to mention; Gregory Isaacs is dead. I was always a very big fan of his so I'm royally pissed off that he had the audacity to die on me.
- ONE DAY OFF THIS WEEK. One day! I'm going to spend it trying to cut my fringe with nail scissors, stroking the cat backwards, and eating chilled ready meals. The life of a king!
- Heather's playing 'Nine In The Afternoon' on her iPhone. I'm telling her to turn it up. What. A. Fucking. Loser. I. Am.
- I seem to have been roped into dying the whole underneath of her hair pink. She dyed her hair black a few weeks ago so as you can imagine, bleaching isn't going too well. She looks like she's caught the ginger.
- I went back to Dreamwidth. As soon as I told all the fanfiction-writers to take a running jump, it became a more interesting place. I just copy the entries over, like the lazy cow I am. They'll never know, the stupid wankers.
- If you want Charity workers to leave you alone in the high street, just start shrieking and flailing - they give you a wide berth. Rob tried this with a man who tried to sell him Sky TV outside Poundland. He soon backed off.
- Mark Gatiss is my new hero. I want to grow up to be him, beard and all. You know what's kind of related? The next-door-neighbours are called Tubbs and they're all hideous, just like Tubbs in The League Of Gentlemen that Gatiss was in. I lean up against the adjoining wall and bellow 'YOU MUSTN'T TOUCH THE PRECIOUS THINGS!' and we all have a chuckle.
- Heather's trying to wash her hair and eat Salt 'n' Vinegar discos at the same time! Fuck Mark Gatiss, Heather's my new role model. I shall say 'Cunt' loudly in Tescos, and get drunk on shots in nightclubs.
- I forgot to mention; Gregory Isaacs is dead. I was always a very big fan of his so I'm royally pissed off that he had the audacity to die on me.
- ONE DAY OFF THIS WEEK. One day! I'm going to spend it trying to cut my fringe with nail scissors, stroking the cat backwards, and eating chilled ready meals. The life of a king!