A vicious cycle...
I'm having trouble getting comfortable. I've had multiple people tell me I'm not living up to my potential. I'm holding myself back because I have a lack of self esteem. I think I've gotten lazy as well. I delt with that sort of thing for a long time. A while back I fixed it, and I've been searching for it again recently.
I think I began to stray from self confidence at the start of my last band. Our personalities clashed a little, and I took a submissive roll. I began to doubt my own opinions even when I was 90% sure I was right. I need to learn to recognize those personalities and deal with them as they emerge. It's unfortunate, but my tendancy is just to ignore those people when I feel them pushing me around.
Now I am stuck in a sort of cycle. I've been told that I should try going to therapy for my self esteem issues. I don't really have the money for therapy though. However, my self esteem issues are what is holding me back from doing things that can make me money. It still amazes me how important confidence is.
All of this somehow brings me to my current situation. I'm having second thoughts about the guys I'm jamming with. They all have a pretty good attitude, but their skill doesn't seem there. I feel like I'm taking the roll of pushing people around. All of my ideas are the ones that are getting worked on. Perhaps that means I have the best ears for what sounds good or their skill isn't high enough to think of the same things I do. For whatever reason, I'm not sure if I want to work with these guys. Maybe I'll stick with them. Maybe I'll strike out on my own.
I think I began to stray from self confidence at the start of my last band. Our personalities clashed a little, and I took a submissive roll. I began to doubt my own opinions even when I was 90% sure I was right. I need to learn to recognize those personalities and deal with them as they emerge. It's unfortunate, but my tendancy is just to ignore those people when I feel them pushing me around.
Now I am stuck in a sort of cycle. I've been told that I should try going to therapy for my self esteem issues. I don't really have the money for therapy though. However, my self esteem issues are what is holding me back from doing things that can make me money. It still amazes me how important confidence is.
All of this somehow brings me to my current situation. I'm having second thoughts about the guys I'm jamming with. They all have a pretty good attitude, but their skill doesn't seem there. I feel like I'm taking the roll of pushing people around. All of my ideas are the ones that are getting worked on. Perhaps that means I have the best ears for what sounds good or their skill isn't high enough to think of the same things I do. For whatever reason, I'm not sure if I want to work with these guys. Maybe I'll stick with them. Maybe I'll strike out on my own.