Close to you...
A new friend of mine called me yesterday to let me know he'd broken up with his girlfriend that day. He'd found out that she'd been cheating on him. They'd been dating for two years. He's not the type of person this should happen to. I could tell that he needed someone to hang out with, but I didn't hang out with him. I don't know how to make sad people feel better, or I'm scared that I won't be able to make them feel better. I don't truly connect with many people. Most people have had some kind of heartache or terrible thing happen to them. I've never had that happen to me. When something bad does happen to me, I tend not to want anyone around me. I also don't take some things as bad as other people. I take some things a lot worse. I only react the way people think I should because my normal reaction would be nothing.
People can't get close to me because I don't understand them, and they don't understand me. I know a lot of people care about me, but I don't know how close they are to me. I'm not even close with my family. It's not because I want it that way. It's just the way it is.
Maybe subconsciously, I don't want anyone to be close to me because it makes me vulnerable. I think I'm a little scared that if someone got close to me, they wouldn't like who I am. I can't be pretty mean on the inside, but nobody will ever know.
I don't know how I feel about this. I'm not depressed or worried. I've always been this way, so why couldn't I keep being the same way? I'll just never know the extreme emotions like endless joy or major sadness. I'll be somewhere near the middle. That seems to be the place I'm at all the time.
I don't know what to think about it.
People can't get close to me because I don't understand them, and they don't understand me. I know a lot of people care about me, but I don't know how close they are to me. I'm not even close with my family. It's not because I want it that way. It's just the way it is.
Maybe subconsciously, I don't want anyone to be close to me because it makes me vulnerable. I think I'm a little scared that if someone got close to me, they wouldn't like who I am. I can't be pretty mean on the inside, but nobody will ever know.
I don't know how I feel about this. I'm not depressed or worried. I've always been this way, so why couldn't I keep being the same way? I'll just never know the extreme emotions like endless joy or major sadness. I'll be somewhere near the middle. That seems to be the place I'm at all the time.
I don't know what to think about it.