another self-insert sue
Last time, it was Havoc/Reader. Now, it's... Gluttony/Reader. Yes, you read that right.
Title: One Shots for the Neglected Characters (Chapter 2)
Author: blackmage_neko
Full Name (plus titles if any): YOU!, aka (Yn)
Full Species(es): human... I think
Hair Color (include adjectives): n/a
Eye Color (include adjectives): n/a
Unusual Markings/Colorations: n/a
Special Possessions (if any): a cat that Gluttony wants to eat
Which Gate It Came From: The gate of "Oh God... I'm just going to slowly back away. My hands are in the air, see?"
Connections To Canon Characters: subordinate of Colonel Mustang; friend to Gluttony, Envy, and Lust.
Special Abilities: the ability to 'tame' Gluttony's eating habits
Other Annoying Traits:
Some of the worst of this story:
As you walked through the streets of Central, you couldn't help think that you had forgotten something. You bought all the things you went out to get, what else could you be missing? The delicious aroma of fresh baked sourdough bread came from a store you passed and your stomach growled in response to the scent. Then, it suddenly dawned upon you what you had forgotten. (Okay, I have to say that this is a weak opening. WEAK.)
It was the first anniversary of when you two had first met. (aww) It's no suprise that the smell of food was what made you remember. Everytime he came to your house, you had to give him food so he wouldn't eat your cat instead. How could you have forgotten?
Even if it was that time of the year, you couldn't be sure if you would even see Gluttony. HimHe and Lust were always watching the Elrics, and it didn't help that Envy often tagged along on Gluttony's trips to your house. You two wouldn't be able to act civil toward each other if your life (or his afterlife) (Bad Joke Number One) depended on it.
~ Mini Flashback ~
"This food is awful," complained the palm tree sitting on the couch. Gluttony had decided to visit you and Envy came with him, just to piss you off.
"Then don't eat it," you replied to Envy. Why couldn't he just shut up and eat it like Gluttony? (Because Gluttony would eat anything, duh.)
"But I'm hungry," Envy whined.
"Then find something else to eat," you remarked through clenched teeth. This homunculus was about to get his butt kicked by yours truly. (I'm sure he's terrified.) Envy remained quiet for a few moments and then spoke up.
" Did I mention that the food's horrible?" He asked with a catty grin on his face. That was the last straw. "Envy, don't you MAKE me stand up from this chair!"
~ End of Mini Flashback ~
This miniature flashback (because I categorize my flashbacks according to size) ran through your head as you searched for your apartment key in your multitude of pockets. Needless to say blows were exchanged everytime Envy came to your apartment. For some reason he and your cat got along. To you, that was just wierd. How dare he like your cat instead of you?! Eventually you got over the fact that Envy insulted your cooking, you figured he just envied your cooking skills (Bad joke number 2). You and Lust got along pretty well, probably since you have only met each other once. eEither way, there was no guarentee that Gluttony would be at your apartment tonight. Besides, homunculi don't have feelings, so he wouldn't even care if he had remembered.Yet, you feel compelled to think this much about it, even though you don't care.
The creaky door to your apartment door slowly opened. As you walked through the doorway, your cat came up to you and rubbed against your leg as her sort of way of saying 'hi'. The grociery backs seemed extremly heavy at this moment, due to the fact that you had been holding them for an extended period of time. You walked over into the kitchen and set the bags down. Afterward, you did a well deserved flop onto the couch.
The living room in your apartment was small, so there was only space for your couch and small radio. There was no wallpaper on your walls, as you considered the choices your landlord gave you to be tacky. As you laid on that (not just any couch. That couch.) couch and relax, another trip down memory lane began in your head. (You know, like going to Grandma's.)
~ Yet Another Flashback ~
It'd been a hard day at work. Stupid Mustang forced you all to dig near the military warehouse cause he found a 'human' bone. (God. Stupid Mustang. How dare he make his employees do work.) Turns out it was just a bone that Black Hayate had buried. So in other words, a whole day was a total waste. As you walked through the door you realized something must be terribly wrong. Your cat, Meryle (okay... worst cat name ever), hadn't come to greet you like usual. She always came to the door when you came home, ever since she was a kitten.
In the background you could hear a faint mew. It came from the direction of your bedroom which is where you went. When you arrived a peculiar sight greeted your eyes.
A strange, extremely fat man was holding Meryle, the cat, (just in case you missed it the first time) by the tail in the air. It looked like he was about to take a bite out of Meryle. (And yet the cat is just faintly mewing? Not yowling like... well, like her tail is coming off?)
"Who are you?!?" you demanded. The man just stared at you, but stared like you were more like food than a human being. (Huh?) This unnerved you a bit. "Are you hungry?" you asked cautiously. He nodded his head in response. You tossed a cabbage head at him that came from the bag of groceries you were holding. (No, you sat the bags down, remember?) Immediately he dropped the cat (which scurried out of the room) and devoured the cabbage whole. You motioned with your hand for him to follow you and proceeded to the kitchen. (I would not invite someone who was about to eat my cat to follow me around. No, I'm sorry. Go starve.)
From then on you had learned more about him, the homunculi, and you slowly 'tamed' him in a sort of way with food. What really surprised you was when he came back not to eat you or the cat, but for more food. (? Like he's a puppy or something? Geez.)
~ End of Another Flashback ~
Sometime during your own flashback you managed to fall asleep and continue the flashback as a dream. (Uhh...) When you woke up it read 7:00 pm on the small clock on top of your radio.
'Better start dinner,' you thought to yourself. You took out all the ingredients to make this spicy soup that both you and Gluttony liked. Every time you gave him food, though, you wondered if he could even taste the food. (Why not just ask?) Before you could get any further in the process of cooking your dinner, you were interrupted by a certain little cat. Due to all your sleeping, you seemed to have forgotten to feed your cat her dinner.
Slowly, like a zombie, you walked over to the dry cat food container. Cat food poured down into the bowl until it was about half full. When the cat food was stored away you continued on your dinner. Eventually it was done and you looked forward to a nice peaceful dinner.
"Can I eat it?" Came from a voice behind you. You sighed, but answered the all too familiar question.
"Yes Gluttony. Let me get a couple of bowls," you replied. You got two bowls and one spoon, since you knew that Gluttony probably wasn't going to use one. Gluttony was already sitting on the couch, but the amazing part was that he was patient. in fact it seemed that he was Ia bit nervous.
"Here you go," you said, handing him the bowl without the spoon,"don't eat the bowl this time."
You and Gluttony ate in relative silence. Gluttony's eyes occasionally shifted over toward the door or one of the windows. This puzzled you for a bit, and you soon found the answer as to why he acted this way. (This is a horrid sentence.)
"Gluttony!" yelled a feminine voice from the hallway. Earlier that evening Gluttony must have eaten the lock to come in.
"Yes Lust?" He replied. Lust entered the room with a frown in her face.
"Why so gloomy Lust? Put a smile on!" You said with the stupidest grin on your face.
"Why weren't you watching Scar like you were supposed to?" Lust asked, directing the question to Gluttony. Gluttony looked away from her and made no answer. "Well?" Lust asked again.
"I wanted to eat (Yn)'s food like a year ago," gGluttony partially explained, partly whined.
'So he had remembered,' you thought to yourself. Gluttony got up and followed Lust out of your apartment. While he was walking though, Gluttony dropped something. You picked and ran to find him, but he was already gone.
Gluttony had dropped a light, small box. At first, you dared not open it. (Oh, no, I dare not.) As always, though, curiosity got the best of you. You opened the box to find a sort of smashed, jumbo sized cookie in it. It looked like there was some kind of writing on it, but the handwriting was illegible. Either way, you knew who it was from. On the back of the box it said: To (Yn), in really messy handwriting. (Aww. He made a cookie for you. How speshul.)
I guess its like what people say, it's not the outside that counts, it's the inside. Sure Gluttony may be fat on the outside (not to mention a homunculus) (yeah, don't overlook that little chracterization there), but deep down, Gluttony has a human heart. That's all that really mattered to you. I guess you could say you had a sort of crush on him. Ya know, a slight feeling of more than just friends. (Ya know... a little LURVE) That is why you want to help the homunculi create a Philosopher's Stone, so gluttony can be human again; just as Lust wishes to be. (And why, then, is this the first time this comes up?)
Besides, karma might kick in. Maybe since you stick with him in his current state, he will be hot as a human. (doubt it) Hey, it would be equivalent exchange right?
Rate: 1 for the pairing/'you'; 1 for the commas; 1 for all characters being OOC. 3/5.
Title: One Shots for the Neglected Characters (Chapter 2)
Author: blackmage_neko
Full Name (plus titles if any): YOU!, aka (Yn)
Full Species(es): human... I think
Hair Color (include adjectives): n/a
Eye Color (include adjectives): n/a
Unusual Markings/Colorations: n/a
Special Possessions (if any): a cat that Gluttony wants to eat
Which Gate It Came From: The gate of "Oh God... I'm just going to slowly back away. My hands are in the air, see?"
Connections To Canon Characters: subordinate of Colonel Mustang; friend to Gluttony, Envy, and Lust.
Special Abilities: the ability to 'tame' Gluttony's eating habits
Other Annoying Traits:
Some of the worst of this story:
As you walked through the streets of Central, you couldn't help think that you had forgotten something. You bought all the things you went out to get, what else could you be missing? The delicious aroma of fresh baked sourdough bread came from a store you passed and your stomach growled in response to the scent. Then, it suddenly dawned upon you what you had forgotten. (Okay, I have to say that this is a weak opening. WEAK.)
It was the first anniversary of when you two had first met. (aww) It's no suprise that the smell of food was what made you remember. Everytime he came to your house, you had to give him food so he wouldn't eat your cat instead. How could you have forgotten?
Even if it was that time of the year, you couldn't be sure if you would even see Gluttony. HimHe and Lust were always watching the Elrics, and it didn't help that Envy often tagged along on Gluttony's trips to your house. You two wouldn't be able to act civil toward each other if your life (or his afterlife) (Bad Joke Number One) depended on it.
~ Mini Flashback ~
"This food is awful," complained the palm tree sitting on the couch. Gluttony had decided to visit you and Envy came with him, just to piss you off.
"Then don't eat it," you replied to Envy. Why couldn't he just shut up and eat it like Gluttony? (Because Gluttony would eat anything, duh.)
"But I'm hungry," Envy whined.
"Then find something else to eat," you remarked through clenched teeth. This homunculus was about to get his butt kicked by yours truly. (I'm sure he's terrified.) Envy remained quiet for a few moments and then spoke up.
" Did I mention that the food's horrible?" He asked with a catty grin on his face. That was the last straw. "Envy, don't you MAKE me stand up from this chair!"
~ End of Mini Flashback ~
This miniature flashback (because I categorize my flashbacks according to size) ran through your head as you searched for your apartment key in your multitude of pockets. Needless to say blows were exchanged everytime Envy came to your apartment. For some reason he and your cat got along. To you, that was just wierd. How dare he like your cat instead of you?! Eventually you got over the fact that Envy insulted your cooking, you figured he just envied your cooking skills (Bad joke number 2). You and Lust got along pretty well, probably since you have only met each other once. eEither way, there was no guarentee that Gluttony would be at your apartment tonight. Besides, homunculi don't have feelings, so he wouldn't even care if he had remembered.Yet, you feel compelled to think this much about it, even though you don't care.
The creaky door to your apartment door slowly opened. As you walked through the doorway, your cat came up to you and rubbed against your leg as her sort of way of saying 'hi'. The grociery backs seemed extremly heavy at this moment, due to the fact that you had been holding them for an extended period of time. You walked over into the kitchen and set the bags down. Afterward, you did a well deserved flop onto the couch.
The living room in your apartment was small, so there was only space for your couch and small radio. There was no wallpaper on your walls, as you considered the choices your landlord gave you to be tacky. As you laid on that (not just any couch. That couch.) couch and relax, another trip down memory lane began in your head. (You know, like going to Grandma's.)
~ Yet Another Flashback ~
It'd been a hard day at work. Stupid Mustang forced you all to dig near the military warehouse cause he found a 'human' bone. (God. Stupid Mustang. How dare he make his employees do work.) Turns out it was just a bone that Black Hayate had buried. So in other words, a whole day was a total waste. As you walked through the door you realized something must be terribly wrong. Your cat, Meryle (okay... worst cat name ever), hadn't come to greet you like usual. She always came to the door when you came home, ever since she was a kitten.
In the background you could hear a faint mew. It came from the direction of your bedroom which is where you went. When you arrived a peculiar sight greeted your eyes.
A strange, extremely fat man was holding Meryle, the cat, (just in case you missed it the first time) by the tail in the air. It looked like he was about to take a bite out of Meryle. (And yet the cat is just faintly mewing? Not yowling like... well, like her tail is coming off?)
"Who are you?!?" you demanded. The man just stared at you, but stared like you were more like food than a human being. (Huh?) This unnerved you a bit. "Are you hungry?" you asked cautiously. He nodded his head in response. You tossed a cabbage head at him that came from the bag of groceries you were holding. (No, you sat the bags down, remember?) Immediately he dropped the cat (which scurried out of the room) and devoured the cabbage whole. You motioned with your hand for him to follow you and proceeded to the kitchen. (I would not invite someone who was about to eat my cat to follow me around. No, I'm sorry. Go starve.)
From then on you had learned more about him, the homunculi, and you slowly 'tamed' him in a sort of way with food. What really surprised you was when he came back not to eat you or the cat, but for more food. (? Like he's a puppy or something? Geez.)
~ End of Another Flashback ~
Sometime during your own flashback you managed to fall asleep and continue the flashback as a dream. (Uhh...) When you woke up it read 7:00 pm on the small clock on top of your radio.
'Better start dinner,' you thought to yourself. You took out all the ingredients to make this spicy soup that both you and Gluttony liked. Every time you gave him food, though, you wondered if he could even taste the food. (Why not just ask?) Before you could get any further in the process of cooking your dinner, you were interrupted by a certain little cat. Due to all your sleeping, you seemed to have forgotten to feed your cat her dinner.
Slowly, like a zombie, you walked over to the dry cat food container. Cat food poured down into the bowl until it was about half full. When the cat food was stored away you continued on your dinner. Eventually it was done and you looked forward to a nice peaceful dinner.
"Can I eat it?" Came from a voice behind you. You sighed, but answered the all too familiar question.
"Yes Gluttony. Let me get a couple of bowls," you replied. You got two bowls and one spoon, since you knew that Gluttony probably wasn't going to use one. Gluttony was already sitting on the couch, but the amazing part was that he was patient. in fact it seemed that he was Ia bit nervous.
"Here you go," you said, handing him the bowl without the spoon,"don't eat the bowl this time."
You and Gluttony ate in relative silence. Gluttony's eyes occasionally shifted over toward the door or one of the windows. This puzzled you for a bit, and you soon found the answer as to why he acted this way. (This is a horrid sentence.)
"Gluttony!" yelled a feminine voice from the hallway. Earlier that evening Gluttony must have eaten the lock to come in.
"Yes Lust?" He replied. Lust entered the room with a frown in her face.
"Why so gloomy Lust? Put a smile on!" You said with the stupidest grin on your face.
"Why weren't you watching Scar like you were supposed to?" Lust asked, directing the question to Gluttony. Gluttony looked away from her and made no answer. "Well?" Lust asked again.
"I wanted to eat (Yn)'s food like a year ago," gGluttony partially explained, partly whined.
'So he had remembered,' you thought to yourself. Gluttony got up and followed Lust out of your apartment. While he was walking though, Gluttony dropped something. You picked and ran to find him, but he was already gone.
Gluttony had dropped a light, small box. At first, you dared not open it. (Oh, no, I dare not.) As always, though, curiosity got the best of you. You opened the box to find a sort of smashed, jumbo sized cookie in it. It looked like there was some kind of writing on it, but the handwriting was illegible. Either way, you knew who it was from. On the back of the box it said: To (Yn), in really messy handwriting. (Aww. He made a cookie for you. How speshul.)
I guess its like what people say, it's not the outside that counts, it's the inside. Sure Gluttony may be fat on the outside (not to mention a homunculus) (yeah, don't overlook that little chracterization there), but deep down, Gluttony has a human heart. That's all that really mattered to you. I guess you could say you had a sort of crush on him. Ya know, a slight feeling of more than just friends. (Ya know... a little LURVE) That is why you want to help the homunculi create a Philosopher's Stone, so gluttony can be human again; just as Lust wishes to be. (And why, then, is this the first time this comes up?)
Besides, karma might kick in. Maybe since you stick with him in his current state, he will be hot as a human. (doubt it) Hey, it would be equivalent exchange right?
Rate: 1 for the pairing/'you'; 1 for the commas; 1 for all characters being OOC. 3/5.