I didn't know if Buffy was just trying to coddle me or if we were really doing what I'd asked. I didn't want to think that she would just pat me on the head and try to make me feel better but I also knew that I was acting a little more than crazy. Then again what would you do if you'd been trapped in a cave for days to come out and find out your
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Okay so he wanted Harry's children to have thier Dad, but what kind of a father did a soulless monster make? Did he think about that?
The path to hell is paved with good intentions.
Buffy asked the question before I could form any kind of words. It was what I needed to know, not that I had any clue how it would even be possible but Angel knew these things right? He would know if Harry was just totally evil right? Despite everything Angel would do the right thing if Harry was a danger.
Oh god, the thought made me ill. Buffy said she'd take care of it for me, as though it'd be possible for me to take care of it at all. But if Harry was evil and if he was a danger then Angel was going to deal with the consiquences of his actions.
"Does he?" I asked with so much hope that it made me feel like I was a child asking her daddy please please just one more scoop of ice cream before bed.
The possibility made me hurt inside because what would that be like for him? Angel had been through so much and he was still hurt, of course Angel had a 150+ years of evil under his belt and if Harry was already ensouled or whatever it was he didn't have to deal with that. But really was that fair? No, it wasn't but if it was done it was done and god help me I'm selfish and if my best friend is still my friend when he looks at me then what the hell am I going to do about it besides just hug him tightly and thank Angel for giving him a second chance?
Yeah. I'm a selfish crazy bratty bitch. Who the hell cares in the scheme of things?
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Looking between the two of them, I knew that Buffy was asking because she'd do what she had to if there was a possibility that Harry was a threat. Then Dawn asked the same question and the tone of her voice made me pause. Until now everyone else had asked the question to find out if Harry was dangerous. Dawn was looking at me like she was asking because she still wants Harry here with her.
"He.. no," I said honestly. "He doesn't have a soul, but.." How did I explain how he was different? "He's already said he's more than willing to be given a soul." Shaking my head, I looked at Buffy this time.
"He's different. I mean.. he's still a vampire, but I sired him when I had a soul. He doesn't have the same need to kill that any regular vampire does. I probably even have more of a bloodlust than Harry does even without a soul. He's talked with Faith already and she's going to let him see his children. It's under her conditions with Connor and Kennedy right there, but that's all he wants. To see his children."
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"Are you kidding me?" I finally asked, quirking an eyebrow in his direction. "He doesn't have a soul and Faith's letting him play with babies? How do you know he doesn't have bloodlust or whatever? Just because he's telling you that doesn't mean it's true." After all, we'd all been lied to before, right? It wasn't hard for someone or some vampire to pretend that they were something that they weren't.
Whatever. I didn't want Dawn anywhere near Harry until I had a chance to see him for myself. This island? Suddenly became Dawn's very short leash but with everything going on you could hardly blame me for wanting to keep a close eye on her. She'd already been locked in a cave for a few days, I didn't want her becoming Harry's snack treat.
"Do you have some kind of proof?" One look in his eyes and I knew he had nothing of the kind. Rolling my eyes, I thought about pulling Dawn away from him but it was clear that Angel wasn't a threat. At least not to us. Maybe just to himself.
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And really lack of confidence in Faith's ability to judge who goes around her children wasn't something I was going to have. I mean sure it was Faith and I haven't even seen her in probably a week but I think having children would change even Faith and I don't think she would do anything to put them at risk. And he said Connor and Kennedy were going to be there watching Harry and Harry agreed to that? I mean did that sound like a soulless fiend to you?
"Buffy, stop," I said and I didn't care if it was stupid to believe. I didn't, maybe I was still a few shades of crazy but really I just didn't care.
I just looked at Angel, really looked at him and honestly? He looked horrible, worn, tired, a few days into self flagalation mode by the looks of it. And honestly, Angel was one of the best judges of character I knew, I mean he was right about Faith. Though, somehow I didn't think that Buffy would appreciate me saying that. Things are way past over between them but I think some part of it will always be there.
And so I sent her a glare and took the steps forward and hugged Angel tightly. It was entirely selfish to be happy that Harry even might be okay, as okay as he could be after being turned. Maybe I should be angry at Angel still, maybe I should yell at him and tell him he should have let Harry die instead of condemning him. But I couldn't. So I hugged him and thank god I was taller than Buffy cause he was taller than me.
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Did I have any proof? The only real proof that I had was Harry himself. She could think he was lying, but did she think he'd lie to me and I'd actually believe him? She'd been the slayer for how long now and I almost would've thought she had a better idea about a vampire and his sire. Then again, I guess no one could really understand it unless they actually did hold that bond.
I thought about bringing up Lawson and what happened with him, but before I could Dawn was telling Buffy to stop. I looked at her and watched her carefully for a moment. She was sending glares to Buffy and really I hadn't been expecting that. But what I really wasn't expecting her to step forward and hug me.
For a second I honestly wasn't sure what to do. Dawn was hugging me and Buffy looked almost as shocked as I did. Finally, I put my arms around her and sighed lightly. There was still plenty of explaining to do, but having someone actually thankful for all of this? It felt so much better than I thought it would.
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Still, I couldn't really miss the relief flooding into Angel's features at my sister's overwhelming gratitude. Siring someone was weird enough, especially Dawn's best friend/Faith's husband but now he just looked like he expected us all to understand. Kind of how I just expected all of my friends to understand that I was dating a vampire in high school. God, hindsight? Not my best friend right now.
After giving the two of them their moment I tugged gently on Dawn's arm because really I just wanted her to stop hugging him. It was weird and we needed to find an elsewhere to be. "C'mon, Dawn." I said quietly to her once she'd finally let go of Angel. "If he went to see Faith and the babies he'll be back on the beach."
Let's go see how much bloodlust he really did or didn't have. Because even if my instinct was to believe that Angel was telling the truth? I'd always be the final judge of that.
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Really though what could anyone do about it now? I mean I know that not everyone is as all go with the flow of things as I am but what could we change? Nothing. The only thing we could do was take care of Harry if he was a danger but if he wasn't? Then he was still Harry, I hoped. And if he was still Harry then I had nothing to be angry about - not really.
Suddenly Buffy wanted to seek him out? Great. She better let me judge whether Harry's still Harry. Considering she barely knows him and everything. I just nodded at her a little but looked at Angel.
"Angel, are you okay?" I asked because yeah I wanted to see Harry for myself but you know Angel was here now.
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I was probably holding onto the idea a little too much, but I really didn't care.
Looking up when Buffy started to pull at Dawn's arm, I pulled back and nodded slightly. As much as it was nice to have someone do something other than look at me in question, I knew Buffy wanted to get away. Maybe they would find Harry and see he wasn't just any regular vampire.
Her question surprised me, but so had the hug she'd just given me. I nodded a little, "I'll be alright." Smiling some at her I sighed and nodded in the direction of the beach. "I'm sure Harry would like to see you."
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