and they say there is humor in misfortune [i wonder if they will laugh when i am dead]
I didn't know if Buffy was just trying to coddle me or if we were really doing what I'd asked. I didn't want to think that she would just pat me on the head and try to make me feel better but I also knew that I was acting a little more than crazy. Then again what would you do if you'd been trapped in a cave for days to come out and find out your best friend is dead - no scratch that undead. I think I should be cut a little slack.
I felt bad for yelling and running from Spike and Lex but I kind of needed to have my tantrum and I was still feeling a bit stubborn about the plan to go find the super strong flying insane clark that had locked me up. I wasn't really looking forward to having to deal with whatever Clark would do to Lex but he was stubborn enough not to listen to me anyway. Plus I did get that whole need to deal with it, he saw Clark as his problem.
So Buffy and I were walking and we were looking for Angel. Or Angelus or whoever the fuck he was right now because I needed to know. I needed to know why he'd done this, if it was some twisted sense of jealousy or if it was something else. Not that I could imagine what that something else was but I wanted to hope it was something else, anything else.
Logic wasn't exactly working in my favor right about then.
Really I wanted to talk to Angel alone but I could tell by Buffy's protective stance she wasn't about to let me out of her sight anytime soon. It was comforting actually since I was pretty sure I'd be afraid of my own shadow right now if I weren't so intent on looking for the man with the brooding stature.
We walked in silence for a while, I didn't really want to go back in the jungle but it would be pretty convient just to find Angel lounging around. Then again he didn't burst into flames here so if I were him I'd be beaching it up. God, the places where my head went sometimes.
Finally when I was ready to just drop back down in the stand because I was actually kind of exhausted when it all was said and done, I saw Angel making his way out of the jungle. He didn't look evil but we were a litle ways away. I took off running, hearing Buffy behind me.
I didn't know what to say when I finally reached him, part of me wanted to slap him and the other part just wanted to scream or cry; I was trying to figure out which would happen if I opened my mouth.
Instead I just pushed him, not very hard because I'm little compared to Angel and not very strong but I pushed him angrily.
"Why?!?!" I yelled at him.
It didn't even matter if he was Angelus right now, that second I wouldn't have cared if he'd torn out my throat. I just needed an answer. Why. I knew Harry was dying but he turned him into a monster, despite what Harry might have ever thought he didn't want that, he didn't want to become a thing like that. He wouldn't want to become this thing that wanted to destroy and hurt and cause pain, he wouldn't want that!
[Open to Angel & Buffy]
I felt bad for yelling and running from Spike and Lex but I kind of needed to have my tantrum and I was still feeling a bit stubborn about the plan to go find the super strong flying insane clark that had locked me up. I wasn't really looking forward to having to deal with whatever Clark would do to Lex but he was stubborn enough not to listen to me anyway. Plus I did get that whole need to deal with it, he saw Clark as his problem.
So Buffy and I were walking and we were looking for Angel. Or Angelus or whoever the fuck he was right now because I needed to know. I needed to know why he'd done this, if it was some twisted sense of jealousy or if it was something else. Not that I could imagine what that something else was but I wanted to hope it was something else, anything else.
Logic wasn't exactly working in my favor right about then.
Really I wanted to talk to Angel alone but I could tell by Buffy's protective stance she wasn't about to let me out of her sight anytime soon. It was comforting actually since I was pretty sure I'd be afraid of my own shadow right now if I weren't so intent on looking for the man with the brooding stature.
We walked in silence for a while, I didn't really want to go back in the jungle but it would be pretty convient just to find Angel lounging around. Then again he didn't burst into flames here so if I were him I'd be beaching it up. God, the places where my head went sometimes.
Finally when I was ready to just drop back down in the stand because I was actually kind of exhausted when it all was said and done, I saw Angel making his way out of the jungle. He didn't look evil but we were a litle ways away. I took off running, hearing Buffy behind me.
I didn't know what to say when I finally reached him, part of me wanted to slap him and the other part just wanted to scream or cry; I was trying to figure out which would happen if I opened my mouth.
Instead I just pushed him, not very hard because I'm little compared to Angel and not very strong but I pushed him angrily.
"Why?!?!" I yelled at him.
It didn't even matter if he was Angelus right now, that second I wouldn't have cared if he'd torn out my throat. I just needed an answer. Why. I knew Harry was dying but he turned him into a monster, despite what Harry might have ever thought he didn't want that, he didn't want to become a thing like that. He wouldn't want to become this thing that wanted to destroy and hurt and cause pain, he wouldn't want that!
[Open to Angel & Buffy]