That was a part of me that never made me proud, right now I think I would try anything

Sep 30, 2006 23:06

I stood there watched her walk away. What was it with my being on this end of things? This wasn't the first time I'd watched Faith walk away from me, but at least this time she didn't say she hated me though I wouldn't be surprised if she did right now. She said it was okay. It. It was okay. At least this time she said she'd try with me. And ( Read more... )

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ny_city_boy October 1 2006, 03:18:49 UTC
I didn't expect Angel to be gone for so long, but I stayed exactly where he told me too. Maybe this was a test, or maybe he and Faith were making up. I wasn't going to let myself be jealous of that. I knew they had a lot to talk about, and really I wanted Faith to see that Angel wasn't the bad guy here. Man, things really had changed between us ( ... )

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mr_angel October 1 2006, 03:35:20 UTC
He said he was sorry and I wasn't sure if I wanted him to be. Bringing up my legs, I shook my head silently. "Don't be." I didn't want him to be sorry for any of this because fuck I still wasn't. Would it have helped things if I was sorry? Probably not.

"She said you could see them as long as you're tied and Connor and Kennedy are there with you." For all I knew she told him this already, but part of my going to see Faith was to get for him what conditions Faith felt were necessary for him to see the children. I went, got them, and now he knew.

Sighing a little, I turned enough to look at him. There was something about the look he was giving me that told me that he meant he was sorry when he said it. I guess that was something.

"I can't go with you and you can go whenever you want. I know you want to see them as soon as you can. If you come back here I can't say whether you'll find me or not. She doesn't want me near her or them, but I might end up going back to the beach before you get back. I don't know."

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ny_city_boy October 1 2006, 03:42:33 UTC
I listened as he told me what the conditions to seeing my children were. Something told me if she had just told him to stay away, she wasn't really wanting to see me right now. But I did want to see my kids ( ... )

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mr_angel October 1 2006, 04:01:25 UTC
Harry almost looked worried after I finished. He asked what that meant exactly and I shook my head. "No, you don't have to stay away. I don't know exactly what I'll do when I get back there, but I won't be able to stay in this jungle for very long. It's okay for you to find me after you've seen your children."

Unlike Harry, I didn't do well with staying put. Maybe if given the right motivation, but just for the sake of staying here and waiting? I could do without that.

"I'm sorry I was gone for so long. Talking with Faith didn't last very long, but I stayed on the beach for a while longer. I didn't realize how long until I felt sunrise coming."

It meant something that he stayed here for so long. If I'd been here for half as long alone with nothing but polar bears to chase I'd go crazy. It proved that his reasons for leaving the first time were true.

"Thank you for staying here the entire time."

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ny_city_boy October 1 2006, 04:07:25 UTC
I relaxed as soon as he clarified what he meant. The idea of having another father walk out on me apparently freaked me out just as much as a vampire as it had a mortal. He explained why he was gone for so long, but he didn't really have too. I wasn't going to question him ( ... )

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mr_angel October 1 2006, 05:22:06 UTC
I believed everything he was saying about her needing to be able to process right now because I knew that already. I mean, I didn't really expect her to walk away as she did, but I wasn't expecting her to meet me for sex on the beach again either.

He said she loved me and I couldn't help but let out a small laugh at that. Did she really? Hell if I knew anymore. Held me up on a fucking pedastole that I didn't ask for but enjoyed. I was the guy who saved her in the alley those years ago but instead this time it was a little blurry on if I'd done any saving.

"Sorry, I guess I just don't know if I believe that or not anymore. At least not in the way I thought in the past. She loves you too, you know." Only did he have a ledge to fall off of that she'd put him on?

"That's fine," I told him after he said he'd find me and was going to give her some time. "And probably a good idea to give her some time."

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ny_city_boy October 1 2006, 05:32:27 UTC
"Don't be stupid," I said, ignoring the look he shot me. Fine, it was sort of disrespectful, but honestly he needed to knock it off with the he didn't know if she loved him crap. If there was one thing we were all clear on, it was that Faith loved us both. She maybe hated that, but it was true.

"Look, it's a fucked up situation. I love her and you love her and she loves both of us, and somehow all three of us have managed to fuck each other over and we're still tied together. Just, knock off the crap about not knowing what you believe. She just needs some time."

I stood up and looked at him. He was pretty fucked up. There was no telling what he needed to shake some of the edge off, but sitting down and wallowing in it wasn't going to help.

"If we had liquor, i'd get you drunk, but we don't. So, I don't know what to do but remind you that she hasn't actually said she wanted to stake either of us so that has to be a start, right?"

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mr_angel October 1 2006, 05:59:49 UTC
Shooting Harry a look, I narrowed my eyes at him. Had he not met be before? This was something I did. Sit in the dark and think about everything and make myself feel worse. But hey. Hadn't known him all that long, maybe he wasn't familiar the term 'brooding'.

I watched him as he stood and just shook my head, looking away. The disappointment or whatever the hell I was feeling since I left the beach was starting to turn into anger and frankly I probably needed some kind of release before I went back to the beach.

Wouldn't want to have any more accidents and fall on someone else with my teeth.

Raising a brow, I glanced back at him again at the drinking comment. "Last time this happened I went out and got drunk with Connor." I shook my head at the ironicness of it all and ran my hands over my face.

"And yeah, I guess it's.. something."

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ny_city_boy October 1 2006, 06:10:01 UTC
"Yeah, well there isn't liquor to drink, but well you know..."

I tilted my head and exposed the scar that was still there. His mark and really what was a better drink than me anyway? Sure, I didn't have the goo anymore, but he still seemed fond enough of the taste.

It was pretty clear that Angel was getting hit with the other emotions that came with being dumped on the beach by Faith. Anger was a bitch. Bitterness was going to be a drag too.

"Unless you'd rather just sit there and sulk. I'm not sure that will make it better, but whatever works for you."

If he had watched me as closely as I thought he had, then he knew exactly was I was doing. Trying to push those buttons to get a reaction. If he needed to unleash some of that anger, why not come after me. I'd heal fast enough to see my kids.

"It's a little early for me to go see the kids, but I can leave you alone if you want." I looked over at the trail and then back at him. I wondered if he thought I'd actually take off for it.

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mr_angel October 1 2006, 07:44:07 UTC
His tone changed and I watched him curiously as he tilted his neck to the side. He wanted to go that route? Then as he continued, my eyes darkened. Sit here and sulk? He was pushing me again and hey guess what Faith wasn't here to watch and we weren't being studied in some fucking room. He didn't think sulking was a good idea? Well, fine. I wouldn't ( ... )

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ny_city_boy October 1 2006, 07:51:37 UTC
As soon as he stood up I knew I pressed the right button. He was on me fast and I found myself being cornered against a tree. Might be a vampire, but I was still his prey when he wanted to get rough ( ... )

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mr_angel October 1 2006, 08:20:07 UTC
He pressed against me as I continued to drink from him and jesus there wasn't any goo, but that didn't seem to fucking matter right now. There was just something about his blood that kept me wanting more and it was different than it had been in that room and reaching that high. This wasn't better, but it wasn't worse ( ... )

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ny_city_boy October 1 2006, 08:29:22 UTC
I'm not sure what I expected, but when he kissed me hard enough that I could taste my blood in the kiss, well that wasn't expected. My fingers found their way into his hair, but I didn't pull it. Instead I raked through it enough to make him feel it before running my hand down his back. This was more intimate than he had allowed me to go before. Had a feeling he wasn't much into guys, but I also had a feeling I wasn't the first.

Why was I thinking about Spike now? Right. They went way back and from the same line. They had to of gone there a few times at least, yeah? Not about to bring that up now. I damn sure needed to stop thinking about it. Did Angel teach Spike how to use his mouth? Right, not thinking about this now.When he broke the kiss and stepped back just a bit from me, I thought about his question. "I don't know. I guess I nibble all right, but really that isn't my specialty ( ... )

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mr_angel October 1 2006, 08:54:15 UTC
My face shifted back as he stopped in front of me and I kept watching him. Did he get what he wanted out of me? Yeah, probably. I was off my ass and wasn't too worried about the conversation I'd had with Faith earlier. Oh sure it was still rolling around in my mind, but right now? Pushing past it.

He might have gotten a little over what he expected, but right now I was more concerned with what he wanted. And with what I wanted.

Tilting my head to the side slightly, I let a smile tug at the corner of my mouth at his question. "I'm a demon and a vampire. What do you think?" I stepped forward, all the while watching him so close.

I was the vampire who took actions into his own hands before bothering to speak to anyone about anything. Wonder if it passed down.

Moving closer, I cocked an eyebrow at him. "I have a feeling I already know the answer, but the question now is which are you?"

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ny_city_boy October 1 2006, 09:00:48 UTC
He smiled a bit as he told me what he was. Well, he hinted at what he was. I sort of already suspected, but this was a tricky subject. I didn't want to overstep a line that he didn't want crossed.

"I think you know exactly what I am," I said in a soft tone as I dropped to my knees in front of him in one perfectly graceful move. My hands rested easily on my knees as I looked up at him.

"You made me after all."

He was staring down at me and I waited for a couple of moments to let my words sink in. It was important that he understood exactly what I was saying to him because that was what made me different than just about anyone else he had around him. He owned me completely and I was more than ok with that. I liked being his possession.

"Can I show you, please?" I asked, and didn't move except to look up and study the expressions that reflected in his eyes. It was all about asking nicely and waiting for permission to be granted. Though, I wasn't sure, but it looked like maybe he was a little surprised that I took action this way.

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mr_angel October 1 2006, 09:20:02 UTC
I raised my chin slighty, but still stared down at him just the same as I had been. He dropped to his knees in front of me and restated how I was the one who had made him. Yeah, I had. Something he already told me he was grateful for. The private letters we'd exchanged came to mind and the things we'd talked about.

History of the Aurelian line, obsession, possession, that room. Some which were starting to come into play right now. I was obsessive in that room and since then and fuck if it stopped now.

I stared intently down at him and gave a small nod. "Yeah. Show me." Actions were louder than words after all.

Though sometimes words just made it sweeter especially when the right ones were used. "Show me."

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