Feline Soul
author's note: i mentioned an elf named Panaetha in an earlier entry. i can't write about her and Candeo at the moment...so i wrote something else, and this was actually posted in one of the RPGs i'm in. again, my writing generally reflects what's going on with me, so...this one portrays my feelings quite well.
Panaetha and Pardus walked towards the outskirts of the holt, and the glider was soothed by the gentle silence. Finally, no one was around. The large panther at her side purred quietly, sensing his bond's relief. She smiled fondly at Pardus, scratching behind his ears.
It took awhile to get to her den. She lived by herself, with Pardus, of course. Since the death of her lifemate, Candeo, Pardus had become her constant companion. He was as close to a lifemate as Panaetha would get. The den was very large, and very secluded. Where most dens were rather small and two to a tree, Panaetha had a den the size of two, with a couple levels and easy access to the canopy. Furs, candles, and herbs were carefully placed everywhere. She had little shelves for salves, old keepsakes, bandages...everything a healer would need to heal without powers. Panaetha's healing powers were quite strong, but she enjoyed herblore, and the non-magical healing supplies were only a precaution.
Panaetha sighed as she entered her den, hit be the gentle smell of herbs and cat, and leaned her quarterstaff against a wall. She pulled off the shirt and flowing skirt she wore, then walked to a shelf to take off all the gold jewelry she wore and put it in its right place. Pardus rubbed against Panaetha's grey skin as she combed through her silver hair. It was when she was nude when she felt most cat...if someone had approached the den, all they would see is two pairs of golden cat eyes, peering at them from darkness.
Panaetha may have looked Glider, but her soul...B'sai...was panther. B'sai...she shivered at the name. Panaetha ached to hear it from her lifemate. She still felt him sometimes, caressing her skin like the rubbing of a cat. She liked to believe that if she heard a sound and was certain no one was around, Candeo was.
The panther-glider put aside her feelings and walked deeper into her den. She pulled herself up to the second level, and at the ceiling was a hole covered in leather. She pulled it aside and climbed out, scaling the tree. Like her daughter, she enjoyed stargazing, and there was a perfect spot to do it, which was in this tree. Nestled at the level of the canopy, so still connected with the forest, but nothing to obstruct her view of the night sky. Two branches were close enough to fasten some leathers to, and she kept a couple furs up there constantly. When feeling like this, stargazing helped her cope.
Panaetha walked to her makeshift hammock and laid back in it, grateful that her father had not given her a tail. Warm, soft leather felt so comforting against her bare skin, and a cool breeze ran across the top of the canopy. Pardus peeked out of the hole in the cieling of the den, waiting for Pana's permission to join her. The panther knew that she liked to be alone up here, but Pana welcomed him this time. The black cat slowly walked towards her and jumped on his branch, very near to her. The glider sighed again, curling up a little. While she had become used to the hermit life, it gave her many opportunities to have nights like this...nights when she could not stand to see another couple. Nights when she ached so badly for Candeo, she started to get dizzy and feel physical pain. Nights when she wanted so badly to be able to just touch him, hold him, sleep with him, and reality felt cruelly blunt. She did not want to see other couples. She could not stand hearing about their troubles, their triumphs, she could not bear to see particularly cuddly couples, giving eskimo kisses, holding hands, leaning heads at meetings. Panaetha's eyes squeezed shut and she cried quietly as she curled up into a tight ball. "Oh beloved..."
Panaetha and Pardus walked towards the outskirts of the holt, and the glider was soothed by the gentle silence. Finally, no one was around. The large panther at her side purred quietly, sensing his bond's relief. She smiled fondly at Pardus, scratching behind his ears.
It took awhile to get to her den. She lived by herself, with Pardus, of course. Since the death of her lifemate, Candeo, Pardus had become her constant companion. He was as close to a lifemate as Panaetha would get. The den was very large, and very secluded. Where most dens were rather small and two to a tree, Panaetha had a den the size of two, with a couple levels and easy access to the canopy. Furs, candles, and herbs were carefully placed everywhere. She had little shelves for salves, old keepsakes, bandages...everything a healer would need to heal without powers. Panaetha's healing powers were quite strong, but she enjoyed herblore, and the non-magical healing supplies were only a precaution.
Panaetha sighed as she entered her den, hit be the gentle smell of herbs and cat, and leaned her quarterstaff against a wall. She pulled off the shirt and flowing skirt she wore, then walked to a shelf to take off all the gold jewelry she wore and put it in its right place. Pardus rubbed against Panaetha's grey skin as she combed through her silver hair. It was when she was nude when she felt most cat...if someone had approached the den, all they would see is two pairs of golden cat eyes, peering at them from darkness.
Panaetha may have looked Glider, but her soul...B'sai...was panther. B'sai...she shivered at the name. Panaetha ached to hear it from her lifemate. She still felt him sometimes, caressing her skin like the rubbing of a cat. She liked to believe that if she heard a sound and was certain no one was around, Candeo was.
The panther-glider put aside her feelings and walked deeper into her den. She pulled herself up to the second level, and at the ceiling was a hole covered in leather. She pulled it aside and climbed out, scaling the tree. Like her daughter, she enjoyed stargazing, and there was a perfect spot to do it, which was in this tree. Nestled at the level of the canopy, so still connected with the forest, but nothing to obstruct her view of the night sky. Two branches were close enough to fasten some leathers to, and she kept a couple furs up there constantly. When feeling like this, stargazing helped her cope.
Panaetha walked to her makeshift hammock and laid back in it, grateful that her father had not given her a tail. Warm, soft leather felt so comforting against her bare skin, and a cool breeze ran across the top of the canopy. Pardus peeked out of the hole in the cieling of the den, waiting for Pana's permission to join her. The panther knew that she liked to be alone up here, but Pana welcomed him this time. The black cat slowly walked towards her and jumped on his branch, very near to her. The glider sighed again, curling up a little. While she had become used to the hermit life, it gave her many opportunities to have nights like this...nights when she could not stand to see another couple. Nights when she ached so badly for Candeo, she started to get dizzy and feel physical pain. Nights when she wanted so badly to be able to just touch him, hold him, sleep with him, and reality felt cruelly blunt. She did not want to see other couples. She could not stand hearing about their troubles, their triumphs, she could not bear to see particularly cuddly couples, giving eskimo kisses, holding hands, leaning heads at meetings. Panaetha's eyes squeezed shut and she cried quietly as she curled up into a tight ball. "Oh beloved..."