(no subject)
so, after months of occasionally driving by his house, writing mental letters to him, and in general, being back-burner crushing, stirling is home. You see, there was never much there that an observer would notice, and even to me, it sometimes seemed nonexistant. Soccer games, a ride home, a pie- but underneath all that was something compelling, like the smell of Kenwood on summer nights. There was something extra in the way he looked at me, like he wanted to take care of me or take advantage of me- . I felt shy but warmed by it. And there is something in his voice that hasn't changed since 5th grade. It has an unadultered confidence that comes from not letting the culture take over you- it is slightly stuffy and earnest. His laugh, too- it reminds me of a lion. It isn't scared at all.
So, I have essentially waited. I have had several offers of numbers from boys who were interested. And others I could have pursued- but I didn't. I am just realizing now that I did wait. That seems a little, romantic, and...desperate. I guess I should not get impatient now that he is in Kenwood. I should be willing to wait just a little longer until he is ready to come to me- which I think will happen. I hope.
The day he got back he texted me. I ran into Richard at about 3 that day and we chatted for a bit and he said that Stirling was getting back that night. I got really excited (inside of course). I told him how I had run into Stirling a while back, and Richard kind of had a surprised but...special look. His eyebrows raised a little, and he seemed to smile a little with his eyes- 'Really?' he asked. 'Yes', I said, kind of shyly. He then said that last time Stirling was here, they hung out every night. I mentioned that since we were all in Kenwood, i would love to hang out with them one night. He said, sure! definately! I was very excited. So, anyways, that night, I told mom that I needed to get a cell phone because I was expected to be contacted by someone important. Mom, being the wonderful person that she is, got one delivered by monday, with my same phone number and everything, and after brett set it up, the first text that popped up was one from Stirling. I didn't know it at the time, but had a suspicion. When I texted asking who it was, explaining i had lost my phone and the numbers, and 'its stirling' came back- i almost died. He texted me!
Now, I am kind of in love. Wow- this is...wierd.
When we played soccer together, he had this incredible kick. It was like the ball would hit this rock wall- I think that was his nickname- Rock. He was so capable, but quiet. He just did his job and didn't make a big fuss about it. He'd just get the ball right out of there and not run around the whole field, like Connor or Ross.
When we were younger, he was one of the 'good students', along with me, and some others. We also studied Macbeth when we were in fifth grade. And we did this Redwall feast thingy with Gabe and...maybe Brandon too. It was so much fun...he was really small when he was young and played the old man. He could fit into the hollow of this pine tree, which we pretended was a cave when we performed it for the class.
It was my last soccer practice before I left for school in the fall, and i had given Stirling the pie. When i gave it to him, he said, 'i'll see you at practice!' I was super excited, and even had jamila and annie drive me there in their convertable after they stayed over, but he never came. I was kind of sad, but maggie and i just stayed on the swings after talking. I think we might have been talking about how i was sad, when a car pulls up by the park and its stirling. He slows down and says 'hi'. i get up and walk over to where the car is, but there is a fence between us. We talk for a couple minutes and it turns out he had to do stuff for his mom- but shaw park is definately not on his way home. Maggie said after, that she understood why i had a crush on stirling- he looked so in control and manly! But Maggie said that might also be because I was so happy to see him and treated him like i did- she said i completely changed when he drove up.
i don't know what will happen...i hope to God something does. I will just have patience and be kind and loving.
So, I have essentially waited. I have had several offers of numbers from boys who were interested. And others I could have pursued- but I didn't. I am just realizing now that I did wait. That seems a little, romantic, and...desperate. I guess I should not get impatient now that he is in Kenwood. I should be willing to wait just a little longer until he is ready to come to me- which I think will happen. I hope.
The day he got back he texted me. I ran into Richard at about 3 that day and we chatted for a bit and he said that Stirling was getting back that night. I got really excited (inside of course). I told him how I had run into Stirling a while back, and Richard kind of had a surprised but...special look. His eyebrows raised a little, and he seemed to smile a little with his eyes- 'Really?' he asked. 'Yes', I said, kind of shyly. He then said that last time Stirling was here, they hung out every night. I mentioned that since we were all in Kenwood, i would love to hang out with them one night. He said, sure! definately! I was very excited. So, anyways, that night, I told mom that I needed to get a cell phone because I was expected to be contacted by someone important. Mom, being the wonderful person that she is, got one delivered by monday, with my same phone number and everything, and after brett set it up, the first text that popped up was one from Stirling. I didn't know it at the time, but had a suspicion. When I texted asking who it was, explaining i had lost my phone and the numbers, and 'its stirling' came back- i almost died. He texted me!
Now, I am kind of in love. Wow- this is...wierd.
When we played soccer together, he had this incredible kick. It was like the ball would hit this rock wall- I think that was his nickname- Rock. He was so capable, but quiet. He just did his job and didn't make a big fuss about it. He'd just get the ball right out of there and not run around the whole field, like Connor or Ross.
When we were younger, he was one of the 'good students', along with me, and some others. We also studied Macbeth when we were in fifth grade. And we did this Redwall feast thingy with Gabe and...maybe Brandon too. It was so much fun...he was really small when he was young and played the old man. He could fit into the hollow of this pine tree, which we pretended was a cave when we performed it for the class.
It was my last soccer practice before I left for school in the fall, and i had given Stirling the pie. When i gave it to him, he said, 'i'll see you at practice!' I was super excited, and even had jamila and annie drive me there in their convertable after they stayed over, but he never came. I was kind of sad, but maggie and i just stayed on the swings after talking. I think we might have been talking about how i was sad, when a car pulls up by the park and its stirling. He slows down and says 'hi'. i get up and walk over to where the car is, but there is a fence between us. We talk for a couple minutes and it turns out he had to do stuff for his mom- but shaw park is definately not on his way home. Maggie said after, that she understood why i had a crush on stirling- he looked so in control and manly! But Maggie said that might also be because I was so happy to see him and treated him like i did- she said i completely changed when he drove up.
i don't know what will happen...i hope to God something does. I will just have patience and be kind and loving.